Dylan Crabb

Nefarious Fauxpod Fan-Fiction (Lost Parody)

Aug. 1, 2010

The Island (Part 2)

The Fauxpodders seemed to be adjusting to life on the island fairly well. They managed to find their luggage that had washed up on the beach; Shawna was weeping over the loss of her MacBook Pro and Jake was trying to fix his hair with the salt water.

Zach and Adam were currently in the nearby jungle looking for the captain. After about an hour of searching, Adam throws in the towel.

''Zach, just forget about it. The captain's probably dead already.''

''Even if he is, there's gotta be a radio transmitter or something in that cockpit.''

''No shit, Sherlock! But we must have covered over half the island by now.'' Adam continued to complain. ''We're not gonna find it!''

''If you want to go back, go ahead, but I'm gonna find that cockpit.''

Adam started back for the beach while Zach continued forward.

Back on the beach, Jake was trying to comfort Shawna.

''My whole life was on there, Jake!'' she sobbed. ''I can't live without it!''

''Shawna, don't you think you're being a little dramatic? It's just a computer.''

Shawna slapped Jake across the face. ''It's not just a computer! It's my baby, and now…now it's dead!'' She sobbed again and laid her head on Jake's arm. Of course Adam chose that moment to walk by.

''Am I interrupting anything?'' he asked with a smirk.

Shawna lifted her head and wiped her eyes. ''Smartass.''

''Did you find the pilot?'' Jake asked.

Zak's still looking but I don't think he's gonna find anything.''

There was a loud roar from the jungle and everyone turned toward the trees.

''What the Hell is that?'' said Adam.

Something appeared to be pushing then trees out of the way as it moved and every few seconds it would let out a terrifying roar that would make a grizzly's spine shiver. It walked parallel to the beach for about a mile until it turned away from the beach and went deeper into the forest.

''Adam?'' Jake inquired.

''Yeah.''

''Do you know where Zak is exactly?''

''Yeah, why?"

''I want you to take me to him.''

''What?'' Adam was terrified. ''Jake, did you not just see that thing in the woods? It's huge!''

Jake grabbed Adam, threw in the sand, and pinned him under his arm. ''You were supposed to stay with Zak! We don't know anything about this place and it is critical to stay together. We're both going into the jungle right now to find him.''

''Alright, alright!'' Adam's hand went to his newly sore throat as Jake got off him. ''What about Shawna?''

''She'll be fine with the others on the beach.'' Jake replied.

''I'm coming with you.'' said Jer'ad. ''You'll need all the help you can get.''

As the three of them headed into the jungle, Shawna decided to do a little looking around.

The other survivors were busy setting up small, make-shift shelters and gathering firewood for the signal fire that they recently ignited. There was a curious Asian couple away from the group that seemed to be keeping to themselves. There was a more extravagant shelter at the peak of a short incline on the southern end of the beach. The creator had not only used plastic tarps for the walls and ceiling but also large branches from the local trees for extra shade. He had also molded in a way for the morning dew to drip into a placement of plastic cups.

''You admiring my digs, Sweetie?'' the blondie yelled at Shawna as she came closer.

''Did you do all this yourself?'' she asked.

''Yeah, my daddy worked in construction, so he showed me a thing or two.'' He had a slight southern accent.

Shawna noticed that the inside of the tent was fairly cluttered. ''What is all this stuff?''

''My loot, you'd be surprised how much people bring on a plane.''

''Did you make a habit of looting the dead back home?''

''Hey, Girl, think of it this way. The dead don't need these things anymore. Besides, we have to survive here and I'm doing all I can to increase my odds.''

Someone came over to the tent. He looked real worried.

''Hey, can you guys help me out?''

''What do you need?'' the southern man asked him.

''I'm looking for any drugs that may have been on the plane especially any prescriptions that end in '-liacin' and '-cylin', those are antibiotics.''

''Are you a doctor?'' Shawna asked.

''Yeah, and I'm trying to save a life.''

The southern man tossed the doctor a small bag. ''That's all the medicine I found.''

The doctor inspected the bag and seemed surprised. ''This…This is my bag! Where'd you find it?''

The southern man pointed over at a large section of the plane a cylinder piece of metal with what looked like seats upside down on the top part.

''Right in there, just a small warning if you have weak stomach, there's a lot of bodies inside. But, I guess doctors are used to that sort of thing.''

''Thanks, My name's John, by the way. My tent's right there if you need me.'' He pointed to a tent about thirty yards away with two short trees on either side of it.

As he walked away, the southern man yelled out his name. ''I'm James!'' John acknowledged it with a wave of his hand and.

''I didn't catch your name, Doll.'' James said in a flirty kind of tone.

''I didn't give it.'' Shawna replied with a smile.