Hey... people are story alerting but not reviewing... plz review then I know to carry on!

Emmett POV

Okay, so me, rose, Edward, and Bella were going to a sex rehabilitation centre, so I'm going to ask the professionals all my unanswered questions... lets see if she can handle the Emmett man.

...........

"So, do you use toys?"

"Um, I asked you if you had any targets you wanted to for fill this year"

"Well, my target is to use more toys, could you recommend any?"

"I'm a fan of basic handc...hey! I meant a target to distract you and make it easier... Not encourage and excite you!" ...it was exiting!

"Well, ill tell you if you tell me one thing... were at it most days... sometimes twice or more a day... how many times is your record for a day?"

"WHY ASK ME THAT!?" stupid question that was, what good is someone going to do to guide you away from sex if they don't have it as good as you... why did esme make me do this... oh yeah... I posted notices with Carlisle's fave position around forks... I bet that did it!

"just curious, I believe you should have a good experience to be a professional, hey, have you ever covered yourself in jello and done a kinky dance?" crack, crack, crack, crack, crack.

"AAAAHHHH... 5 hours I have been interrogated, no I haven't used jello, no I don't cook naked, no I don't picture Pete Wentz when I'm having sex, no a penis doesn't back up if you don't use it, no I've never tested that ,no I don't think my husband masturbates over Kirsten Stewart either! I QUIT!" whoa man I think I should have limited the questions... or not that was fun. Where's Edward?

Edward pov

Okay, so me and Bella were walking across the park, hand in hand, when Emmett's councillor runs across the road screaming, with Emmett following, damn she was the only one willing to take him on since his application was so graphic, he said why he wanted to give it up, giving details on why each position was a problem, mainly that he wasn't doing it at that moment. Oh Emmett.

I gave Bella a squeeze, "is it time to call Renesmee? We need to tell her our little trip has been shortened... substantially" she sighed, I wondered what she could possibly be thinking, at least she hadn't been witness to Jacob thinking about our daughter naked, especially when he imagined himself naked with her

"Edward, What do you recon Jacob has been doing with Renesmee?"

I could guess what he wanted to happen "no idea love, but I think its time we discovered, you wanna make the call?"

Bella POV

"hey honey, just to let you know that me and your dad will be coming home today"

She sounded a little paniced.

"did uncle Emmett mess up?"

"yes love, see you soon, love you"

"typical, see you laters, luv ya"

I think its time she got the sex ed lesson... off uncie em... best before Jacob gets turned to moonshine I guessed.