Author's Note: Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews. Here's chapter two...hope you enjoy!

Please remember to review and let me know what you think!

Also, Twilight isn't mine...in case you didn't know. This story, though, is my idea.

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EPOV

Tanya left soon after, though unfortunately not before she spent twenty minutes describing her wedding dress in detail.

In excruciating detail.

I could see Bella was contemplating ways to kill herself using only the syrup dispenser and the coffee mug by the fifth time Tanya talked about the pro's and con's of a sweetheart neck versus scoop neck.

Seriously, did Tanya think that this was the kind of crap that ex-husbands cared about? Show me a man who's actually interested in the color scheme of his ex-wife's wedding and I'll show you a man with no balls and no dignity.

…I suppose pretending to have a girlfriend to go to said ex-wife's wedding isn't that high up in the dignity scale either.

Oh God, what did I just agree to?

"Is this thing on?" I snapped out my daze as Bella's fist tapped lightly on my head. I realized then that I'd been staring at the door for at least five minutes. With a frustrated grunt, I shot out of my seat and grabbed Bella's plate. I practically ran into the kitchen before she realized what had happened. The doors had barely swung shut behind me when I heard her voice.

"Please tell me that you have some secret plan and that we're not really going to your ex-wife's wedding pretending we're a COUPLE!" Bella ranted as she slammed the doors open. I ignored her and threw the plate into the sink, where it promptly smashed into several pieces. I grabbed a pot of spaghetti sauce that was sitting on the counter and banged my way to the refrigerator. "Edward! What were you thinking?"

What was I thinking? I had absolute no idea what I was thinking.

It had always been this way with Tanya. I would always find myself agreeing to do something that I didn't want to do. She would always find a way to twist things around until I found myself agreeing to go shopping with her on weekends or going to his-and-hers mani-pedis. Somehow, she knew just what to say to twist my brain around until I was left speechless and incapacitated. That was actually how we ended up married in the first place. We'd had only been together for six months before she started hitting me with several ultimatums, each one worse and more confusing than the previous, until I was so exasperated that I practically begged her to run away with me. I would have done anything to end the torture.

Little had I known that the torture had only begun.

I guess Tanya had always assumed that I'd follow in my father's footsteps and go to medical school. After all, when we started dating my senior year of college, I'd been a biology major with pretty lofty ambitions and good grades. She had been the beautiful criminal justice major, all set to go to law school and become one of those law and order types. She thought we were perfect together, Mr. and Mrs. All-American Dream.

All that changed when my mother's father died, leaving the diner in his will to our family. At first no one wanted to take over the place, and my mother thought we should sell the decrepit old diner to someone who would take care of it. I volunteered to be the one to come down here and sign the papers over to the new owner. I took one look at the diner, with its worn down tiles and old stools, and memories of my grandfather flashed through my head. One after the other, the images came forth, all of them centering around his beloved diner.

In the end, I just couldn't do it. There was no way I could sell this place. It wasn't just a piece of property, it was a legacy.

I immediately shredded the papers and called my parents to tell them my decision. They were dubious at first of my choice, but they came around when they realized how passionate I was about resurrecting the old diner. My mom even came down to help me renovate the place, and we spent many days tearing out old wallpaper and putting in new tables. I don't think I'd ever seen my father more proud of me than the moment we opened the doors for business again.

Tanya was an entirely different matter.

For two years, every word that came out of her mouth was a complaint. Forks was too small, too rainy, too cold. It wasn't near enough to this, it was too close to that. I don't think I ever heard a positive comment from her. Little by little, I started spending more hours at the diner, just to get away from her and her negativity. One day, I guess she had enough, and she left me a note on the kitchen table telling me she was moving to Seattle. Soon after, the divorce papers arrived in the mail and that was that.

Ashes to ashes.

"Bella, I really don't have the patience for this right now. Can we talk about this some other time?" I asked angrily as I threw the pot into the fridge.

She scoffed and struck what I called the "argumentative woman pose": hands on hips, head tilted, foot slightly to the side. Usually it made me laugh, but today it irritated me even more. "No, we can't talk about this some other time. This happens to involve me! What the hell were you thinking?"

"I don't really think I was thinking," I muttered as I slammed the door shut and banged my head hard on the fridge.

"Yeah, that much was obvious, Edward. You just agreed to go to your ex-wife's wedding! Why would you do that?" Bella raised her arms in the air and waved them around as if asking God for an answer.

I wish I could get an answer myself.

"She forced me to!" I defended myself weakly, not quite meeting her eyes and instead growling at a crate of onions that was sitting on the counter.

Bella snorted. "Yeah, she really tied you down and forced you to say yes," She shook her head at me questioningly. "I thought you hated her."

One would think that after all that we'd been through, that I'd hate Tanya. There were so many reasons to hate her. I could be angry at her for leaving me, for her not trying enough to be happy here, for not giving us a chance to work it out. I never did manage to hate her, though. Mostly, I blamed myself for not giving her what she needed. Maybe if I'd done more, it could've worked out.

Our divorce never really felt final to me. I think part of me always thought that I'd come home and she'd be there waiting again. It's not to say that I still loved her or wanted her back. I just never had any real closure. One day she was here, and the next she was gone. That's probably why I kept wearing my wedding ring for almost a full year after we separated.

I shrugged and rolled my eyes at Bella and watched with slight amusement as she rolled her own back at me.

Typical Bella. She could always throw anything back at me.

The real wake up call for me was five years ago when Emmett brought Bella by the diner. To this day, I remember that I had been making a Triple Crown Burger (two beef patties, three types of cheese, and bacon with all your fixings on it) when the door opened. I'd swung around to see who it was and had been greeted by the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She wasn't surreal looking like Tanya, who was as surreal as you can get thanks to really expensive Swedish face lotion. She was a natural beauty, all peaches and cream, with dark hair and long eyelashes. And those eyes! I still don't remember exactly what I said to her, but I think I got my name across amidst some stuttering.

For two weeks, I waited to see her come back into the diner. Part of me felt a little ashamed for feeling interested in a woman I barely knew when I was still recently divorced. The other part, however, was bursting inside, waiting to see her face once again. Finally, Emmett and Rosalie came by the diner with Bella. I had waited on all the other tables before them, trying to get my nerves contained before I faced her. When I couldn't delay it anymore, I went to their table and started taking their orders. Everything was going well, and then I felt Bella's eyes on my hand. I looked down and saw that she was staring at my wedding band.

Crap.

For the first time ever, I felt annoyed at myself for leaving the ring on. I moved my hand out of her line of sight, and tried to think of something to say to explain my situation. Something. Anything to make her see that I wasn't an adultering bastard trying to charm her with a smile. Before I could speak, Bella glared at me coldly. She said something mildly insulting to let me know she wasn't interested. Embarrassed, I snapped back at her and we continued this little repartee until I swiveled away to the grill, eager to get away from her.

I managed to squelch my disappointment down and forget about her in that way. Thinking about my friend's little sister in that way was only bad news, especially when she wasn't into me. Since that day, Bella and I remained semi-friends – not quite acquaintances, but not quite buddy-buddy enough to hang out on our own. We always needed some sort of buffer between us as we could never go five minutes without arguing.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Maybe it wouldn't kill you to play along with this for just a little bit? Just to save some of my dignity?" I silently begged Bella to agree. I didn't want to have to resort to verbally begging.

"Dignity? Dignity is pretending that we're going out?" Bella raised an eyebrow at me.

Of course she wasn't going to make it easy.

"In extreme cases, yes. Sometimes we have to buck up and do horrible things in order to save our dignity," I crossed my arms and glared at her stubbornly. Bella's eyes widened, and I mentally smacked myself. Too far, Edward. You took it too far, again.

"Horrible things? I see. Well, you know what? I'll save you the trouble of having to pretend to enjoy going out with me, because I'm not going to Tanya's wedding!" She turned on her heels and walked out of the kitchen.

"No…Bella!" I groaned, as I followed her into the diner. This was not going the way it was supposed to.

Hell, this whole day wasn't going the way it was supposed to.

"Come on, Bella, be reasonable!" I pleaded with her. I wasn't sure what was more humiliating at that moment: that I'd had to resort to lying to my ex-wife about having a girlfriend, or that Bella was repulsed by the idea of pretending to be that girlfriend.

Bella laughed as she turned to face me. "Reasonable! Please don't lecture me on being reasonable, Edward. I'm not the one lying to my ex-wife about an imaginary girlfriend," she started walking towards the door and then stopped. "Not that I have an ex-wife," she pointed out and reached out for the door.

"Come on, Bella, please," I slid in front of her and grabbed her by the arms. She sighed and frowned up at me. "You've got to do this for me!"

"Why's that? Why do I have to do this?" Bella tried to pull away, but I held a tight grip on her forearms.

"Because otherwise I'm screwed! I'll have to tell Tanya that I was making it all up. Do you know how humiliating that will be?" Bella turned her face away from me, and I lowered my face near hers. Her lips were stained a light red from the strawberries on her pancakes and I could still smell them on her.

Her face turned slightly red. "Yeah, well, you shouldn't have lied in the first place then!" she exclaimed, trying to gesture wildly while having her arms restrained. I kept her arms in a firm grip and tried a new tactic.

"Look, I don't want to do this anymore than you do. Just this once," I paused. "I'll owe you."

She seemed to consider this for a little bit. I could see the wheels turning in her head. "You'll owe me big." Bella finally muttered.

"I'll owe you big," I said solemnly and then burst into a smile in spite of myself. "Is that the beginnings of a 'yes' that I hear?"

"No."

"C'mon…what do I have to do, beg?" I joked, hoping that she wouldn't take me up on it. Last time I asked if she wanted me to beg, I was forced to get down on my knees in front of everyone just to get my car keys back.

"That would be a start," she said and tilted her head to the side, challenging me. My eyes pleaded with hers, and in the end, Bella lowered her eyes and bit her lip.

Yes! I knew I had her once she started biting her lip.

"Please?" I asked once more, in a lower tone.

Bella sighed. "Oh, alright. But you're so going to owe me now, Edward," she threatened. I grinned at her. "I mean it. You're really going to owe me. Like beyond the measure of normal owing. We're talking monumental owing. If I ever need a favor, whatever it is, whatever the time of day, you're the guy," She nodded at me.

I ignored her and squeezed her arms excitedly. "You're amazing, Bella."

"I know."

"I could just kiss you right now," I blurted out stupidly, and then grimaced as she recoiled.

That's not exactly something you want a girl to do when you say you could kiss them, even if you're joking about it.

"You do, and I back out of this deal right now," Bella mumbled, pulling out of my arms.

I rolled my eyes, and pretended not to be insulted by her reaction. "You have no idea what this means to me."

"Yeah, well, all I know is you're buying their gift," Bella said in a lighter tone, pulling on her sleeves.

"Oh yeah? Blender or Cuisinart?"

"I'd go with blender, that way they can throw back margaritas when married life catches up to them," Bella grinned cheekily. "It's like therapy in a box."

"How considerate of you. I always knew there was a heart beneath your icy exterior," I playfully poked her arm.

Bella shrugged. "I can't lie. I have a weakness for drunken yuppies." She walked around me to open the door.

I laughed. "Yuppies? Aren't we being hasty in judging others?"

She waved her hand at me dismissively. "Elementary, my dear Watson. Exhibit A, Prada bag. Exhibit B, fancy-schmancy fiancé. Exhibit C, the tasteful manicure," She held up her own short nails with chipped polish. "These are the hands of a worker. Those were the hands of a yuppie. You do the math." She disappeared through the door, leaving me astounded.

I shook my head at her and then grumbled slightly. "Watson? Why the hell am I Watson?" I turned around to go back to the kitchen to pick up the mess I'd made in there. "I'd rather be Holmes."

Bella stuck her head in again. "Well, I don't want to go to this wedding."

"I can live with being Watson."

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A/N: Please review! Just click that little green box and let me know what you think.