First Love Lost
Chapter 2 - Stubborn Silence
The luck I had all morning ran out when I went to find my fifth period class. The map led me completely astray. The class that I expected to be Chemistry turned out to be Spanish. Yeah. That wasn't embarrassing at all. It turns out the science building was mislabeled on the map as the auditorium. Go figure.
I walked into Chemistry a good five minutes late. The teacher, Mr. Banner, laughed at the note the Spanish teacher had been kind enough to write to explain my tardiness. It got even worse when he had me introduce myself to the class. As I stated my name to the already informed, I noticed that the only available seat in class would put me partnered with my brother's bronze haired friend. To make matters worse, he was looking at me like I had two heads. Apparently, sitting next to Emmett's sister was the equivalent of being given the death penalty.
I sat down and listened as Mr. Banner followed the examples of my first two classes. Blah, Blah, Blah. Talk for the rest of class.
What does a person have to do to get an education around here? I drummed my fingers on the table in frustration. To my surprise, the bronze boy took offense to my noise and put his hand over mine to stop the drumming.
"Do you mind?" he asked rudely before pulling his hand away from mine.
I started to drum the fingers of my other hand on the table and answered, "No, I don't mind."
For the first time, I noticed his bloodshot eyes. When coupled with his messy hair and haphazard grooming, I realized that he was hungover. His eyes roamed from my face to my fingers. It was funny to see that I was annoying him by doing so little. He curled his left hand into a fist. I could tell he was tempted to reach over and stop me.
"Do it. I dare you," I challenged him. I knew he wouldn't, but it was fun to watch him think about it.
His green eyes narrowed. Who would have thought I would be so good at making people in this school mad at me with so little effort? It was like I had developed a superpower overnight. Super Bella, she can piss off the best of you without even trying. I decided to offer him an olive branch. After all, it wouldn't do me any good to upset my brother's friends.
"If you ask nicely, I'll stop," I offered with a smile.
He surprised me by giving in easily. "Please stop."
"Do you have a name?"
"Edward Cullen."
Okay, that I wasn't expecting. Edward Cullen was Mrs. Cullen's son. I had never met him but had listened to her talk about him many times. Years earlier, he had attended a private school instead of public school with Emmett and me. Seeing him now as this hungover, teen rebel kind of broke my heart. It added a new dimension to the talk I had this morning with his mother. I would never have guessed that her son would turn out to be one of my brother's wild friends. It just didn't add up.
"I know your mother."
"Yeah, I know," he answered with anger in his voice before standing up and walking out of the classroom.
I watched in shock as Mr. Banner didn't even react to this rude boy who left without so much as a glance in his direction. Not for the first time, I wondered just what the heck kind of school it was that I had transferred into. It was as if I had walked into a zoo run by the animals.
The other students sure noticed. They grinned like banshees at Edward's audacity. It was then that I realized just why him and the others were looked upon as such gods. They did whatever they wanted and got away with it. No wonder everyone envied them. The thought made my stomach twist into a knot. This behavior hinted at deeper problems than I expected, and my brother was smack dab in the middle of it.
Thirty minutes later I looked down at my map and found the location of my next class, if you could call Study Hall a class. It was in the same building as the Spanish class I had accidentally interrupted earlier. When I walked in, I noticed that I was the first student to arrive. For that matter, I was the only person to arrive. There wasn't even a teacher, which made me wonder if I had ended up in the wrong place again. The door behind me opened, and I turned to see if this was the teacher. No such luck.
A tall, dark haired boy with pale gray eyes entered the room. He smiled at me, which for some odd reason put me on guard. It seemed like he was just a little too happy to see me. I shook off the feeling and wondered if my bad day was making me paranoid.
"Is this Study Hall?" I asked him.
Though I wouldn't have thought it possible, his smile widened. "Yes, this is Study Hall. Is that where you're supposed to be?"
I breathed a sigh of relief and answered, "Yes."
I went to sit down at a desk on the far left side of the room. He followed and sat directly in front of me.
He turned in his desk and stuck out his hand. "I'm James Witherdale."
"Bella Swan," I offered as I shook his outstretched hand.
"Oh, I know. We have Calculus together," he informed me with a wink.
He still had a hold of my hand and seemed disinclined to release it. When I moved to pull away, he held it tighter and began rubbing circles on the top with his thumb.
"Are you going to give me that hand back?" I asked nervously. This guy was seriously making me uncomfortable.
"No, I think I will just keep it for awhile," he answered with a mischievous smile.
Inexplicably, I felt my body tense up. It wasn't in response to this overeager boy who held my hand. My body seemed to know something that I was as yet unaware of. The answer came to me in the next moment.
"How 'bout you give her that hand back, or you'll be losing one of your own," said an angry voice from the front of the room.
I turned towards the voice and saw Emmett's blond cowboy friend standing just inside the door. He looked beyond angry. His eyes were narrowed with a glare meant to intimidate James into releasing my hand. I felt a shock of electricity run through me as he turned his attention to me.
James kept a hold of my hand in obvious defiance. "You really think you can take me on all by yourself, Whitlock," he challenged.
"Oh, we both know that I can, but I won't need to. Emmett is about to walk in the door, and you and I both know that he won't like you touching his sister," the blond guy warned with satisfaction.
At the mention of my brother, James dropped my hand and turned back around in his desk. I used the opportunity to move to a spot a few rows away from the overly friendly James. Emmett's friend took the desk directly to my left providing me with further separation from the hand grabber. His posture was stiff and in direct contrast to his laid back manner at lunch. He kept his eyes to the front of the room and didn't even glance once at me. I was shaken by his sudden lack of interest. It felt like all of the warmth inside me had turned to ice.
The room was alive with tension. I didn't believe for a second that I was the real cause of their tiff. These two would have exchanged words whether I was here or not. I looked at both and wondered who would have managed to come out on top. Both were tall and muscular though they were much leaner in build compared to Emmett, who looked like a Mr. Olympia contestant. James looked liked he might be the stronger of the two, but something in the way the blond carried himself said that he would be more than capable of handling himself in a fight. If I had to put money on it, I would have to go with Emmett's friend. He had a rough edge to him that James lacked.
The door opened and in walked my brother and the blond girl he sat next to at lunch. Emmett frowned when he noticed me. I rolled my eyes at him and wished he would get over his little attitude problem. He walked past me and sat behind his friend while the blond girl sat behind me.
Moments later, Alice walked in with Edward. She greeted me before sitting down in the desk to my right. Edward sat behind her and leaned forward to play with the collar of her shirt. Apparently, he was over his mood from Chemistry class. It was actually kind of cute seeing them together. She giggled while playfully knocking his hand away. He then moved his hand up to ruffle her hair. It was nice to see that the rude boy from earlier was replaced with this playful boy. I wouldn't have thought he had it in him.
The teacher was the last to arrive. He introduced himself as Mr. Thomas and then told us that he would see us tomorrow. My jaw just about dropped to the floor as he left the room. What the hell? I had thought I couldn't be shocked anymore, but this just took the cake. I knew that this was Study Hall, but weren't we entitled to some level of supervision?
I figured my brother and his friends would leave, but they didn't. Edward started talking to Emmett about football. The Prom Queen twirled her fingers in her hair while looking at my brother in adoration. Cowboy strangely enough remained stiff in his chair while ignoring everything around him. Little Alice just looked around at her friends in annoyance.
I hadn't felt more alone all day than I did at this moment surrounded by these people who were so tight with each other. I could tell that had I not been in the room they would have been acting different. They were putting on an act for me. It was weird. James would occasionally look over at me, and I started to wish that I hadn't moved away from him. He may have an odd hand grabbing fetish, but at least, he was friendly.
Alice must have sensed my mood because she broke from the pack and started talking to me. "Have you meet everybody?" she asked kindly.
I shook my head no.
She pointed to the blond girl telling me, "This is Emmett's girlfriend, Rosalie Hale. More importantly, she is my official shopping buddy and best friend."
She nodded her head in Edward's direction saying, "You already met this punk in Chemistry from what I hear."
"The hottie to your left is Jasper Whitlock. He would be the devil that I referred to in Government class this morning," she explained.
I flashed back to our earlier conversation and remembered her warning me about useless knowledge attracting a certain undesirable. I shook my head at the thought of Jasper Whitlock and undesirable coexisting in her little universe. The sheer stupidity of that idea left me certain of my earlier thoughts regarding her circus problems. Someone should really help this girl find a few extra clowns.
I looked around at my brother's friends and noticed that none of them seem particularly happy about Alice introducing me. Jasper continued staring at the front of the room. He looked like he was still angry from his spat with James. Rosalie appeared bored. Edward rolled his eyes and continued talking to Emmett.
"So, have you decided if I should call you Sam, or just stick with Bella?" Alice asked.
"How about we stick with Bella. My ex-boyfriend's best friend is named Sam."
At the mention of my ex-boyfriend, Jasper whipped his head around and glared at me. I began to wonder just what his problem was. Or, maybe I was the one with the problem. I managed to irritate all of Emmett's friends without even trying. Every one of them had frowned at me except for Rosalie, and she was too focused on my brother to even notice me.
Of all of them, Jasper's glare upset me the most. It felt like a sharp knife in my heart. I couldn't explain why this horrible person had such an effect on me. All I knew was that it hurt in ways that the others didn't. Even my brother's rejection of me didn't hurt this bad. This new pain burned me from the inside out.
I looked at the clock on the wall and realized I had forty-five more minutes with these people. It was too much for too long. I gathered my books and left the room. If Edward could get away with leaving an actual class, surely I could get away with ditching Study Hall.
Hearing someone come out behind me, I turned around to see Alice looking at me with concern. I started to tell her to just go back in the classroom, but she put her index finger up to her lips signaling me to be quiet. She then grabbed my hand and began leading me through the hall. We entered an unused classroom and sat down.
"What's wrong, Bella?" she asked sincerely.
I folded my arms across my chest and just looked at her blankly. She might be the nicest person I had met all day but that didn't mean I was going to just bare my soul to her. Besides, I wasn't even sure why I was so upset. I just knew that I was.
"You know, your brother has spent so much time talking about you that I feel like I already know you," she offered in hopes that it would crack my shell.
I rolled my eyes and looked away after hearing her comment about my brother. He knew so little about me that I couldn't imagine what he would even tell this girl. Plus, he didn't even like me, so everything he said had to be bad.
Alice was undeterred by my silence. "Fine. I will just chat while you listen. Let's see. I know that you love Mrs. Cullen's baking skills. You have nightmares after watching scary movies but insist on watching them anyway. I know that you learned to swim after almost drowning when you were ten. Emmett says that the time it took to revive you was the longest minute of his life. Oh, I also know that you are clumsy almost to the point of being disabled. You have an irrational fear of blue butterflies. When you are stressed, you rub the tip of your nose. What else? You don't own any makeup. Lasagna is one of your favorite meals. And, you talk in your sleep."
She left me speechless.
Taking advantage of my silence, she continued her chat. "I meet Emmett five years ago when he moved here with Charlie. I was the first person to talk to him and kept at him for months until he finally talked to me. We've been each other's confidants from that day on. It took him another year to start talking to anyone else. But, even that wouldn't have happened if him and Jasper hadn't of gotten into a fight. I locked the two of them in my family's basement until they agreed to get along. Rosalie is Jasper's cousin, which pretty much makes them a package deal. A few months later, Edward was the last to join our little group."
I didn't understand why Alice was telling me all of this. With my stubbornness still in full force, I continued to remain silent. She stared at me for several minutes. I started to feel bad about ignoring her, but I just couldn't bring myself to say anything. After several minutes of silence, she finally got fed up with me. She gathered her stuff up and left the room without uttering another word.
I turned my attention to my calculus homework and finished just as the bell rang. The math work successfully took my mind off of the conversation I shared with Alice. I was almost scared by my ability to push the negative things in my life to the back of my mind. I knew that someday all of these feelings that I suppressed would come charging to the forefront, and most likely, it would happen at the least opportune time.
My final class of the day was a nightmare. Girl's Athletics was my least favorite part of the day. Making things worse was the fact that Rosalie and Alice were there and made a point of ignoring me. The tension between us was palpable. I had little doubt that everyone in class was aware of it. I ignored the whispers surrounding me and focused on the short lady with the whistle. She was trying to get everyone's attention but failing miserably.
Coach Clair handed out our gym clothes and went over the different activities we would be doing this semester. I cringed at each new sport she mentioned. My clumsiness was sure to send me to the emergency room at least twice, and the nurse's office a good deal more than that. I didn't know what was worse, the prospect of me playing volleyball or the possibility of me breaking my neck while doing so. Breaking my neck would be bad, but at least, it would give me an excuse not to play. The thought cheered me only slightly.
Coach Clair dismissed the class a few minutes early. Rather than leave, I opted to hang back to talk to the Coach. It seemed only fair to give her fair warning regarding my alarming ability to fall down at the drop of a hat. She laughed off my concerns, and I left the building more worried than when I walked into it. I knew it was never good for my health when people brushed off my clumsiness as a simple lack of self-confidence.
I rounded a corner heading to the parking lot and came face to face with Rosalie. She was all alone, and I got the impression that she had been waiting for me. I knew from the harsh look on her face that I was due for my second blond confrontation of the day. Only this time, I was facing an entirely different opponent. Rosalie Hale was no Lauren Mallory. Rosalie would give as good as she got and never back down. I glanced around and saw that we were alone. I was grateful that no one was going to hear whatever she had to say.
She set her books down on a nearby picnic table and turned to glare at me. From her stance, I guessed that the Prom Queen meant business, and I blindly hoped that this little meeting would not lead to violence.
"Alice may have been willing to give you a chance, but I won't be so generous," she spat at me angrily.
Generous was one of the last words I would have applied to her so it didn't exactly surprise me. What did catch me off guard was the amount of venom behind her statement. I couldn't think of one single thing that I had done to earn the hatred she was throwing at me. Rosalie looked ready to kill me if I so much as looked at her funny.
This was just terrific. The blond bombshell I thought had been ignoring me was actually plotting my demise while she filed her nails and flipped her hair. Life couldn't get any better than this. I decided that if I was going down that I might as well know what it was for.
"What the hell is your problem, Rosalie? Did the five seconds I spent in your company completely ruin your day?" I questioned. "Did I accidentally block the wind fan from blowing your perfect locks around? Oh, I know. You're pissed about the premature wrinkling you're going to get from scowling at me. My, its tough to be you."
Her eyes narrowed in anger at my questions and sarcasm. She took a step forward, and I berated myself for poking the bear.
"Don't play dumb, Bella. You know why we all don't like you. I'm just the only one pissed enough to call you on it," Rosalie countered.
"Again, you have me at a disadvantage. I have no clue why you and everyone else in this school treats me like a leper. I've never done anything to anyone."
"Bullshit. You go years without talking to your brother and act like it's no big deal. You are just the same hateful bitch that your mother was. So, I've got a simple warning for you. Stay away from Emmett and everyone else. I will end your pitiful existence if you so much as breathe in our direction," she promised before turning and walking away from me.
I now had the answer I wanted. Emmett had lied to all of his friends about our mother and me. It was no wonder they hated me. How could he tell them that we hadn't talked in years? We may not have talked everyday, but it was him that started that. I made a point of calling him a few times a week. Our conversations were always a mixed bag. One day, he would chat like nothing was wrong. The next he would be too busy to say more than a quick greeting before hanging up the phone. Other times, he would ask me question after question about my life. Most of his questions were about things he already knew, which was confusing, but I didn't complain. I was just happy that he talked at all.
If this was how he decided to play his games, I was out. With everything that had happened in the last few months, I couldn't allow myself to be hurt by him. I would simply follow Emmett's lead and ignore him. All of my efforts would have to go to just surviving this year so I could start my own life. Anything less would cause all of the pain that I was hiding inside of my heart to burst out of me. I didn't think I could survive if it did.
