"Charlie! I can't breathe! Stop!" Paige nearly screeches, as Charlie gives her a bear hug from behind.
"What are you up to?" Charlie asks, loosening her hold but not letting go.
"I can tell you, if you let me go," Paige sing-songs. Even after all these years, she still couldn't get used to Charlie babying her every once in a while. Things have changed so much. "I think you've had enough to drink Catherine DeMarco."
"I was such a bitch to you back then," Charlie coos, stroking Paige's hair while Paige tries to get away. Paige somewhat appreciates Charlie's remembrance of herself being so formal with her way back when. "You didn't deserve that on your first day."
"Well, I wasn't exactly a delight to be around either," Paige admits, dragging Charlie's arm away from her. "Especially to the guys."
"No, it was my fault. I didn't know we were getting a cheerleader on our squad," Charlie snorts, causing Paige to smirk. "I didn't know how to act."
"You called me a 'rich, needy sorority girl'," Paige corrects, eying Charlie briefly. "And I sort of deserved it. Oh, and a brat."
"You want some new shoes?" Charlie interrupts, peering into Paige's laptop's screen. "Those are cute."
"You bought me shoes already for my birthday Charlie," Paige sighs, continuing to tap on her laptop. She shakes her head in slight irritation. Of course, Charlie was tough to deal with when they first met. Paige knew she herself was hard to deal with to some people. Charlie sometimes overdid it to make up for how she treated Paige when they first met. Sometimes Paige took advantage of it…then other times it made her feel remorseful for her own behavior back then…
Even now where…how could Mike even want to live under the same roof as her? How can he go on with another relationship…having someone as supportive as Johnny…whom Paige picked a fight with, still here at Graceland?
How would Charlie even react to what happened between Mike and herself?
Paige can't help but start sniffing tears away.
It wasn't right.
"Don't you run away again," Charlie warns, rubbing Paige's arm. "I'm glad you stayed...Paige? What's wrong honey?"
"I don't deserve this," Paige, whimpers, moving away from Charlie. Charlie furrows her eyebrows before reaching out to Paige again.
"No!" Paige snaps, and Charlie stops in her tracks. "I don't deserve any of this!"
"Look at me Paige," Charlie orders. Paige glances at her under teary eyes. "Remember what I told you?"
"I'm not the best at anything! I'm a goddamn murderer Charlie!" Paige admits, causing Charlie to flinch in shock. "I made a horrible mistake-"
"What horrible mistake?"
"At the op a few weeks ago, I wanted to end it all. I'm so tired of this weight! And he just forgives me. I didn't need his forgiveness-"
"Who?" Charlie whispers, looking lost.
"I-during the sex-trafficking case…I gave Mike a hard time," Paige whimpers, shaking her head. "He didn't deserve any of it. I know that now."
"Paige…what did you do?"
"I made him do things-that were horrible Charlie…" Paige cries, looking at Charlie earnestly. To Paige's fear a sort of spark lit in Charlie's face over her confession. Yet she continues listening intently. "I blackmailed him…I guilt tripped him...I hit him-"
"Charlie, please don't hate me," Paige murmurs, suddenly. "Do you hate me?"
Charlie blinks slowly until she sniffs hard.
"Charlie?"
"What else are you hiding?"
"That's it Charlie-I-"
"Don't lie to me Paige!" Charlie grounds out. Her eyes flicker back to Paige's in a hard stare.
"I sent-Markham…after Mike in hospital when I found out he faked Lena's letters…"Paige confesses after several minutes. The room is dead silent until;
"No-Paige…no," Charlie mouths, eyes widening. Her face begins to crumble into sobs. "I don't believe you!"
"He lied to me Charlie!"
"You almost took Mikey away from us!" Charlie sobs. "Because of one lie?!"
"He wouldn't tell me Lena died! He wouldn't tell me!"
"I don't give a shit! Who do you think you are?!" Charlie yells. She points at Paige. "You get out of here! Get out!"
"No! Charlie please!-please I'll do better! I'm trying to do better!"
"You're full of it Paige! You think you can do the right things now? He still has to see your face every day!" Charlie growls. She suddenly lunges at Paige's throat. "Now you're gonna feel how he felt! In that hospital room. Day. After. Day!"
"NOOOOO!"
Paige wakes up with a start, trying to catch her breath. She coughs, still breathing deeply with her hand over her neck.
When she looks around, there are sheets strewn everywhere. The near pitch darkness of her room makes her feel lonelier, while also doing nothing to calm down her breathing.
Paige hears a few knocks at her door and a tired voice call, "Paige? Honey? Are you okay?"
"I-I just need to be alone Charlie!" Paige yells. There's silence on the other side of the door for a moment.
"I'm coming in anyway," Charlie warns.
"No!"
Then Charlie sighs, pushing through the door anyway as she flicks the nearest light on.
"You should hate me," Paige sobs, when Charlie closes the door behind her. "All of you should hate me for what I did."
Charlie rubs Paige's back, staring at her in confusion. "Does this have to do with the fight you had with Johnny a few weeks ago? I thought you two got over that?"
"Not really," Paige mumbles.
"Then what is it?" Charlie asks, with concern written all over her face. "Does it have anything to do with Mike?"
Paige nods slowly, averting her eyes away from Charlie.
"Whatever happened between you two, I'm sure you can work it out," Charlie soothes.
"No, I can't Charlie. Not this time," Paige moans.
It took a long time for Paige to even admit it. Especially with this dream she just had-
"I pushed him to sleep with Jessica to get Lena and the rest of the girls out," Paige rambles. "I just didn't want them to suffer anymore and then he lied-"
Charlie stops patting her back and rises from the bed until Paige grabs her.
"Charlie-"
"You forced him to sleep with her, on a case where young girls were sold into a sex trafficking ring?" Charlie inquires slowly, in disbelief.
"I-"
Charlie puts her face in her hands. A moment later she raises her eyes to Paige sadly. "I thought you grew up Paige. I thought we both grew up to better people…and you hurt Mikey enough to-"
"I-I didn't-"
"There's something else you're not telling me," Charlie whispers, in an alarmingly calm manner. Although, to Paige it looks as if she's trying to hold her in her anger. "What else did you do to him?"
"I can't say it Charlie…I hurt him so bad-then I hurt Johnny and-"Paige trails off, suddenly trying to pull Charlie towards her. "Please, Charlie don't hate me anymore."
"I never hated you Paige. Even when we first met and got off on the wrong foot," Charlie says, continuing to stare at Paige solemnly. Tears began falling from her eyes. "I don't hate you Paige. I hate what you've done. Why couldn't you just talk to me? You can't even say you're sorry about what you've done, can you?"
Paige cries louder before covering her face. "I thought I could help him with his drug problem, but he just pushed me away!"
"What did I always tell you Paige?" Charlie replies coolly, as her eyes begin turning red and puffy. "What did I always tell you?"
"It's not…them against us," Paige answers slowly, sniffing hard. "We're on the same team."
"Paige, I want you to take the time to think long and hard about how you-"
"I did!"
"You've only thought about how you've been hurt, and how you've been affected Paige!" Charlie shouts, causing Paige to shrink away. "I don't know everything you did, but you're not thinking about how you hurt other people. Did Mike admit anything he did wrong?"
"Yes," Paige sniffs softly. "I didn't ask him to-"
"You don't have to ask! That's what people do, when they know they've screwed up."
"We all made mistakes during that case Paige. I know I gave him a hard time, and-I can't erase what I did. I can't pretend the mistakes I made didn't happen. But what I don't go around doing is making him feel horrible. You don't think I notice you making him feel like shit? You don't think Johnny's noticed? And I thought I had to keep an eye on Paul…"
As Paige listens, she can't help but cower slightly. So many flashbacks begin to run through her mind over the condescending attitude she'd had with Mike. Shoving him down on the ground when he was just out of the hospital trying to save her from killing herself. Then of him seemingly trying to hear her side of Johnny and her fight, even trying to get them to bury the hatchet as soon as possible. Showing up to her awards ceremony which was probably another giant slap in his face.
Mike's death, that she caused, changed him. Made him addicted to pain killers. Made him count chickens while they were trying to stay alive. Made him get obsessed over numbers and Gusti and his addict wife… Paige also knew she deserved that small crack he made about it definitely being her fault at the intervention...and threatening to tell everyone. She knew it was a mistake she'd even been there, but-
It all haunts her and more than likely him too.
"Whatever you're holding over him, I don't care Paige, you need to stop. He admitted his mistakes, now it's your turn," Charlie finishes. She stands up and kisses Paige on the forehead, then wipes her own tears away. "I love you Paige, but you need to get your head outta your ass and get over yourself babygirl."
"Charlie, please don't leave me alone!" Paige cries, when Charlie begins walking away. "I can't be alone please."
Charlie stops and then takes Paige into her arms, just as Paige cries herself soundlessly back to sleep.
END
Please let me know what you think? Was this too harsh? I feel like Paige's inner turmoil wasn't covered much, so I also wanted to address it. However, not before I tapped into how I thought she and Charlie first met (meaning, how i think her origin story went basically).
Anyway, thanks for reading. Bye!
