Title: Synonymy:01
Author name: Ruaki []
Author email: ruakichan@aol.com
Category: Drama/Romance?, Kingd*m Hearts
Keywords: Riku, Sora, post-KH

Spoilers: Anything and everything from the beginning to the end--including the secret trailer--of KH.

Disclaimer: Riku didn't end up confessing undying love to Sora in the game, so I'm pretty sure I don't own them. Disney, with their mighty battalion of LAWYORDs, actually owns the full copyright. Square's just a conspiracy! @.@

Author's Note: I would definitely like to thank my beta, Aachan, for countlessly reading this thing over and over and her helpful suggestions. x.x ... so if there's a mistake, it's her fault! ::big grin:: Otherwise, uh, yah. RikuSora.

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Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache; Do be my enemy--for friendship's sake. ~William Blake

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The sand was slick, wet. Feet pounded into the mush, leaving deep imprints that trailed far behind him. White-capped surf rolled ferociously onto the beach, washing up stringy kelp and wriggling fish. The sea was writhing beneath the boiling sky, charged by the coming storm, and the wind huffed fiercely, whipping at his hair wildly. The strands kept blinding him, and he held them out of his eyes with one hand in frustration.

Still running, he glanced up overhead, at the brilliant strokes of reds and purples that stained the clouds. Lightning flashed jaggedly, sparks brightening the heavy, dark clouds with thunder following not but a moment after. There was no scent of rain, however. The tinge of salt in the ocean gusts left an odd taste in his mouth, stale and metallic. It wasn't like the usual feeling he was accustomed to from many years living on the archipelago.

There was a touch of foreboding here, a sense of impending doom.

A lump of hard sand caught his foot, and he stumbled. Cursing his own clumsiness, he straightened, ready to resume his run, but a faint sound gave him pause. It was soft, hardly heard over the wind, yet the eerie familiarity of it was enough to still his heart.

Soft sibiliant whispers, dry and scratchy, like the sound of sliding snake scales.

He slowly turned his head to glance over his shoulder, watching with a sort of detached curiousity as a lump of black congealed from the grains of sand, silently growing and gaining shape. Two pinpricks of light, brilliant as the sun, floated in the inky blackness of the creature's head and stared at him with something not unlike naked hunger.

And all around, many more formed, completely black, as if with no substance, but they had shapes and arms and legs and heads and those hideously burning eyes...

He knew these things. He knew them, and the rush of knowledge and memories that flooded into his mind frightened him more than the Heartless that began to gather about him.

The whispers grew louder, repeating syllables mindlessly to form words.

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"Hey, feeling better?"

I lifted my head from mooring my boat to glance at the speaker, squinting in the bright sun. Sora was crouched at the edge of the dock, grinning down at me with his usual toothy impishness. The sun framed his unkempt hair, like some sort of weird halo, lifting pale highlights in what was usually just a giant mass of brown.

Tying the last knot, I straightened, hands plunking onto hips as I flashed a smirk at him. "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't, now would I?"

Sora's grin just widened knowingly. "Yeah, you would." I made a face at him, hopping lightly up onto the wooden dock.

It was still just early morning, but the usual crowd was already here. This particular islet in the Destiny Island string was the not-so-secret base for many of the islander children. I could already see Tidus and Wakka practicing their respective weapons, and Selphie, one of the few girls willing to brave adventure and sun, was chatting the ear off one of the newbies about 'house rules.'

"You know, if you're still not feeling well, you probably shouldn't be here." Sora's voice brought my attention back to him, and I frowned slightly, but the concerned look that filled his eyes quickly alleviated any annoyance I might've felt. "I mean, it was only last week when you fainted, and it's your first day outside since then..." He trailed off, suddenly interested in his shoes.

Right. Last week. My eyes fluttered shut for a second, not wanting to remember last week. Especially last week's fever dreams that seemed so terribly real that I woke up screaming every single time. I wouldn't have minded the burning heat, weak muscles, loss of appetite, and claustrophobia so much if I didn't suffer from those damned dreams. And even though I finally recovered from the illness, I still get the occasional repeat nightmare...

[I'm not afraid of the darkness!]

"Riku?"

I smiled reassuringly before springing on him to capture his neck in the crook of my arm in an invincible headlock. "I'm not a girly pansy like yoooou, Sora," I teased, digging a knuckle into his scalp good-naturedly as he flailed. "I can take care of myself."

Sora pushed at the arm looped around his head, trying to shove it off as his face turned red. "Leggo!"

"What's the magic word?" I lived for moments like this.

His bright yellow shoes stamped on the dock hollowly. "Now!"

Chuckling lightly, I released him with a little push and he teetered, arms pinwheeling. He managed to save some dignity by not falling, instead whirling around to glare at me, face screwed into a Sora-pout. There was no other way to describe it other than as a Sora-pout; it was a look I've seen only on him, where his face scrunches together, and his lips pucker out as if waiting to be kissed, and his eyes slightly narrow in a way that was meant to be menacing but fell a little short.

That was the look on his face now, and for a wild second, something deep inside me wanted to lean over and answer those waiting lips with mine.

Time stopped, the world stilled.

And then Sora stuck out his tongue at me, crossing his eyes. The world moved again and my heart continued beating. The feeling of disappointment that rippled over my initial relief surprised me.

"Well, if you're doing sooooo much better, you can leash together the logs on the raft today." Sora tossed his head, grinning as if he won the upper hand.

I just shrugged nonchalantly, my indifference crushing what he felt was a small victory over me. "I thought we finished the raft."

His brows raised and he shook his head. Hm, that was strange. The image of a finished raft in its spot along the inner beach during a marvellously red sunset was strong in my mind. I could've sworn we finished it... well... no, that wouldn't have made sense anyway. No way Kairi and Sora could've finish the raft without my strength and know-how...

Sora thumped along the dock to the end, jumping off to land clumsily in the sand. "Come on!" With a gesture to follow him, he started to run along the shoreline toward the passage that led to the lagoon. "I'll race you!" And he laughed, cause he damn well knew he gave himself a large head start before issuing the challenge.

Nevertheless, I chased after him. "Guess the only way you can beat me is if you cheat, huh?" Sora didn't answer and just continued to sprint toward the goal. I smiled, my feet falling into the impressions he left behind in the sand, content to let him pave the path today. We always walked in the same direction, but not always side by side. Yet, at the end of the trail, I knew he'd be waiting for me, just as I'd always wait for him. Cause that was how it always was.

Behind me, people would only see one set of footprints without realizing two souls crossed there.

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He pressed gloved palms to his ears to keep the insane gibbering out of his mind. The shadows closed in about him, still hissing over the howling wind, long pointy fingers reaching forward to snatch at his legs. He kicked at them, connecting solidly with the head of one of the creatures, sending it flying outside the circle. The chill of the Heartless' flesh could be felt through his boot, numbing his foot painfully.

The rest of them seemed unconcerned and unfrightened, circling tighter around him till all he could see was a mass of black with floating yellow globes. Yelling hoarsely, he shoved aside the grasping arms before him, flinging himself bodily through the ring of shadow. He rolled out of the center, quickly leaping to his feet and running once more. He had not been scared before, but fear coursed through him now; not because of the appearance of the Heartless, but because he knew what they were, where they came from, why they were here, and most importantly, he knew what this meant for him.

Blindly running without a thought of his destination, he leapt up crude wooden steps several at a time, landing on the top of a higher path that led to the waterfall beside the shanty. Here, he got a better view of the beach, despite the ever darkening night. Shadows swarmed everywhere and his friends were nowhere in sight.

He knew if he followed this path, he would find the door.

But beyond the beach, on the small isle where the paopu grew, a small silhouette was framed against the flickering sky.

Shoving aside a groping Heartless, he changed course without hesitation and headed toward where he knew destiny would begin.

~Wait for me...~

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"I've been waiting forever! What took you so long?"

Kairi frowned at the two of us, arms folded over her chest. Rubbing the back of his head, Sora avoided her eyes, but I just stared back at her, green on violet. I liked Kairi, don't get me wrong, but there is no way someone pulls that tone on me. Of course, Kairi was a lot different from most other girls; she wasn't afraid to get dirty or do work, and she had a pretty good head on her shoulders. Not too much gushing or squealing from her, and she had strong roots in reality--thank anything listening, cause I had enough trouble handling the usually absent-minded Sora.

Tossing my head, I crossed my arms over my chest to mirror her stance. "He--" I nodded in Sora's direction, "--was trying to even out the score with another round of 'Whack-a-Sora.'" I earned a punch in the arm for that remark.

But that explained everything, cause Kairi just sighed quietly as her eyes did a slight roll. "We still have to gather supplies for the raft if we're going to leave tomorrow, you knuckleheads." She smiled though, a little fondly, easily forgiving us.

Still, she continued to playfully berate us, and Sora's chastised look only grew more and more sheepish. I tuned her out, glancing behind her at the finished raft, a sense of pride filling me. Sure, it wasn't the greatest thing, but we built it with no help and it was going to take us places. Great places.

[Darkness. Betrayal. Anger. Sadness. Death.]

I frowned as the words flashed through my head. Where did that come from? .... Eh, probably an after-image of the nightmare I had this morning. I tried not to think any more about it, but the broken, bloodied figure of my Sora rose from the mists of my thoughts. His soulful eyes were no longer their bright blue, but a dull, lusterless grey, tinged by death but frozen in a state of betrayal and hurt. I couldn't look down at my own hands--I knew they'd be covered in blood, his blood--and I knew I had been the person to kill him because he kept asking me 'why' which I just had no answer to--

"Are you listening to me, Riku?" Kairi's light voice broke through the haze swarming my vision, and I blinked rapidly at her purple and white form which was outlined with impatience. I looked for Sora but he was already running off toward the front shore.

I turned back to Kairi, rolling my shoulders. "Uh.. yeah. We need supplies." Didn't Sora want to wait for me? Huh, oh yeah... he's probably still a little pissed about that whole race thing. Geez, I told him it was a joke... he won the race anyway...

She huffed another sigh. "You didn't even hear a single thing I said."

"I thought you were still chewing out Sora." Flirting was more like it.

Kairi thrust a scrap of canvas with a list of supplies scrawled on it with charcoal at me. "Here's your half. If you have any questions, let me know."

The list seemed pretty standard and I shoved it into the pocket of my pants. "Aye, aye, sir," I quipped, saluting before spinning on my heel.

A hand caught my arm, staying me. "Hey, Riku, can I talk to you about something?"

I raised a brow at her over my shoulder before facing her again. Her gaze was steady on me; Sora and Kairi were the only people that could look me in the eye for a long period of time without flinching. Something in that gaze told me that this was going to be a Pretty Serious Talk.

Pretty Serious Talks were almost always about Sora.

I hated them with a passion. I could never understand Kairi's need to pry into my relationship with Sora. I don't know if it was cause she's only been our friend for several years, while Sora and I were buds since long before then. Maybe she felt left out. Or maybe cause she was a girl, and couldn't understand the need for competition between two best friends that were always pushing each other to be better.

Maybe she even knew how possessive of Sora I sometimes got... and that the way Sora doted on her drove me absolutely mad. It wasn't that I didn't like Kairi. She was cool and she was like a kid sister.

I just didn't like how I suddenly became second best when she showed up.

[Take care of her.]

Folding my arms over my chest, I waited for the lecture to begin, the words already running through my head cause I've heard it so many times. 'It's really none of my business... but... '

Kairi took a deep breath, fidgeting a little. "It's really none of my business..." She looked a little uncomfortable, knowing something like this was a touchy subject, and that I didn't like people who stuck their noses where they don't belong. "But..."

'I'm a little concerned about you two.'

Sure enough, "I'm a little concerned about you two." Of course you are, Kairi. Concerned mainly about what you think is Sora's fragile self-esteem. It is not fragile, and that's because I made sure it wouldn't be fragile. Sora's strong, Kairi. He doesn't need you to meddle for him.

The words stayed in my head though, and I just stared at a point over her left shoulder, drumming my fingers on my arm. 'Riku, you know that Sora really looks up to you... Maybe you shouldn't be so hard on him. He tries his best, you know.'

"Riku, you know that Sora really looks up to you..." Feet scuffed the sand. Hm, she was a little more nervous than usual. "Maybe you shouldn't be so hard on him. He tries his best, you know."

I stifled a yawn. Of course he does. Yet, no matter how many times I explained it to her, she didn't understand that me pushing Sora was what made him try his best. What made him better. Instead, 'you should encourage him more and pick on him less...' or so her next line would be.

"You're really special to him."

Pause. Blink. Rewind. I shifted my gaze onto her.

She bit her lip, hands toying with each other. Her face was downcast, as if what she was saying was really hard for her or if she was afraid of my reaction. "You mean the world to him, and I think he feels that you're leaving him behind cause you're not the same these days..."

I wanted to tell her exactly what was the world to Sora--her. And wouldn't I be the one to know? I'm his best friend; I can read Sora as easily as any book. It was pretty damned obvious too that Kairi preferred Sora's company over mine.

Don't act like I'm the one at fault here.

Her eyes met mine then, and she smiled bravely. "And you're important to me, too, just like how, I'm hoping, Sora and I are important to you." She touched my arms. "Don't drift away from us. Please don't shut us out. Don't shut Sora out. He really needs you, and if you're gone..." She trailed off, probably catching the resentment that was most likely crossing my face.

Drifting away, was I? Shutting you out? Me? Oh no, no, that was definitely not it. Actually, it was more like Sora and Kairi would hang out together and I'd be myself more often than not, left to gaze at the sea while remembering dreams of finding wild adventure with Sora. I was not the one drifting away, they were the ones shutting me out.

Three's a crowd, after all.

Despite all these thoughts running through my head, I couldn't vocalize any of them. They just crammed up inside my throat while Kairi kept shooting quick glances at me, waiting for me to say something, anything.

So I said something. Anything. Jealousy was humming inside me and there was very little I could do to stop it. "I don't think he would miss me at all." Cause he still would have you, right, Kairi? The bitterness I was feeling was a little immature yes, but Sora was my friend first. He was mine first. I was jealous, I'm not ashamed to admit. And if Kairi didn't know it before, she knew it now.

A second of silence stretched between us, broken by the cackle of seagulls. Kairi's face was shocked, surprised, as if I had just told her that the sky was green and it was raining chocolate.

Then Kairi suddenly shot up onto her tiptoes, shoving her face near mine. Her eyes transformed from disbelieving into furious, intense balls of purple fire. "That is the most stupid thing I have ever heard!"

I didn't back down, staring back without blinking.

She jabbed a finger into my chest. "You're his best friend! Sora's not some kind of shallow fool--," I caught the insult directed at me, "--that just gives up on the people he cares about, you know!"

[Why do you still care about that boy?]

"He's worried about you and I'm worried about you! You've really changed, Riku, and it's not for the better."

[I don't care about him!]

"And I swear, if you ever make him cry, I'll... I'll... I'll do something really bad to you!"

Narrowing my eyes, I slowly leaned forward till we were nose to nose. She continued to remain defiant and self-righteous, although her expression faltered slightly as I softly replied, "He would never cry for me."

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I avoided everyone for the remainder of the day till late afternoon. I still had the supplies Kairi requested of me, but I wasn't too eager to see her again. The Pretty Serious Talk ended poorly, and I'm sure she wasn't all that hot about seeing me again either. So she sent Sora instead to find me, to see if I got what we needed.

His spiky head poked up over the roof edge of the shack by the waterfall, where I was lying in the cool spray, watching the clouds overhead. He grinned as I pushed myself up onto my elbows to look questioningly at him, and flipped onto the roof.

Show off. I smiled though; Sora looked exceedingly proud of himself that he was able to execute such a complicated move.

"Guess you're not mad at me anymore about that paopu thing?"

"No." I was a little relieved, but it wasn't surprising. I don't think Sora knows how to hold a grudge. He plopped down beside me, peering at the bag I was using to pillow my head. "Why didn't you give those to Kairi yet?"

I shrugged, lying back again but kept my eyes on him.

Sora didn't seem put off by my apathetic response. "Well, I'll just haul 'em back to her later." And he flopped back to lie with me, staring at the sky, expression peaceful. I continued to watch his profile for a few moments, indulging myself to once more study the face that I knew as well as my own. Every facade, every mood and emotion, from the slightest tightening of the eyes when he was trying to keep from crying, to the way the tip of his tongue would jut out of his mouth when he was thinking, I memorized, understood, could read.

But then, Sora never hid his emotions. That's one of the things I liked most about him; his honesty made him such an animated, passionate person, and it was easy to trust him. Even when he tried to lie, he did it poorly, eyes shifting guiltily or ears turning a slight shade of pink. So he didn't do it very often, even when we were children causing havoc.

We had some fun times during those early years...

"Hey, Riku."

What happened to us, Sora? "Yeah?" Were we really drifting apart?

"What do you think we'll find out there?" he asked.

[Darkness. Betrayal. Anger. Sadness. Death.]

"Something more than what we have here," I said firmly, lifting myself up onto an elbow to look down at him. Sora's eyes were closed, chest falling and rising slowly.

His lips stretched into a slight smile. "Something grand?"

"It'll be grand as long as we're together," I said, fondness slipping uncalled for into my tone. Sora cocked open one eye at me.

"You mean it?" Insecurity rang in his voice and that struck me hard in the gut.

I pushed myself up to lean over him further, wondering how it came down to Sora actually questioning our friendship. "Yeah. We'll always be best friends, no matter what."

He smiled brilliantly then, watching me in happiness. And I could feel my insides turn to mush in Sora's glow...

He lifted a hand, pinky extended. "Promise?" I raised my brow at that; we haven't done this 'pinky swear' thing in years.

Yet, his boyish grin was too hard to refuse. I hooked my pinky around his. "It's a promise."

Crinkling his face, Sora snickered. "PINKY-SWEAR!" he shouted then, swinging our arms around wildly.

"S-Sora!" I unlocked our fingers to grasp his hand, stilling him. His eyes continued to sparkle impishly and I made a face at him in return. "I can't believe you'd doubt me." His hand was soft in mine, and I wished that the material of our gloves wasn't a barrier between our skin. Even so, my fingers worked their way to interlock with his.

His brow furrowed, and his gaze shot to our joined hands then back to me. "You've just been a little.. I dunno. Distant, lately."

"What do you mean?" The feel of holding him, even a small part, was nice.

Sora bit his bottom lip, chewing on it for a moment. Those large eyes that gave everything without taking anything filled with many emotions, so many that they were spilling over each other in an effort to be felt. "I.. have a lot of trouble understanding you now. I used to be able to know how you were feeling or what you were thinking, but now.. I don't. It's like you're hiding something from me."

I remained silent for a moment, before lowering my head close to his, reading every feeling, and unsure if I was glad or not that what I was seeking wasn't there. I made to pull away then, but my muscles refused to comply. I was so close to Sora that I could see every eyelash, the small, almost invisible mole that graced his upper right cheekbone, smell the coconut sunblock, feel the soft dusting of breath along my cheeks.

"Riku?" His voice was near inaudible and a little uncomfortable; I had no doubt I was invading his personal space.

My head tilted in and our noses brushed. His eyes widened slightly, his breath quickening as his fingers clutched at my hand in a deathgrip. I paused, suddenly understanding...

He was afraid of me. Sora, who feared very little, was afraid of me.

I jerked away then, yanking my fingers out of his so I could grab the bag of supplies and drop it on his stomach. Grinning easily, despite the fist clutching my heart, I managed to say lightly, "Hey, don't you think you gotta get those to Kairi? She probably thinks you're laying down on the job." I roughly ruffled his hair. "Which you are," I added.

Sora's expressions shot from fear, to confusion, to relief, to his infamous Sora-pout. He sat up, clutching the bag to his chest, and shot the full force of his Sora-pout on me. "I'm not the one that didn't give the supplies to her."

Shrugging, I stood, dusting off my pants. "She's your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend!" He turned red though, unable to meet my gaze.

"Right." I swung easily off the roof and started to walk to the dock, not wanting to look back.

A thud of shoes behind me made me glance over my shoulder. Sora landed behind me, still holding the bag to his chest, staring at me with an unreadable expression. An emotion I had a hard time identifying. He opened his mouth to say something, but I looked away, continuing on. After a moment, I could hear Sora's feet crunching on the sand, heading away from me. Sure, I had been a little harsh, but... ...

Hell. There was no 'but.'

I'll just apologize to him tomorrow.

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The storm overhead was growing ever stronger, lightning flickering and thunder crashing nearly every minute, causing the sky to glow a mottled purple and grey. Behind him, the swarm of Hearltess grew, a black wave that dogged his steps as he pounded across the bridge. The hissing whispers still filled his ears to the point that he just wanted to scream for silence.

He tried to focus on the figure before him, on the small slender figure that was staring out at the swirling ocean.

Something was wrong though. He didn't remember things happening this way. He wasn't the one that was being chased across this bridge, he wasn't the one that was afraid of the darkness...

Things weren't supposed to happen this way. But then, things weren't supposed to be happening again. Was he reliving this moment? Were the Heartless forcing him to alter his memories, to make him believe in this fake reality?

This was all too real though. No clever illusion could give him the memories he carried in him now, from the past few weeks. Memories that clashed with older memories. He had won that foot race, he remembered. His current memories said he lost. Old memories spoke of no illness, new ones said he had been sick for over a week before recovering.

Old memories told him that the person he was running to shouldn't be there.

His eyes told him otherwise.

The Heartless squealed, condensing into a heavy mass that rose high behind him, swooping forward like a lightless tsunami, and he dived the final few feet off the bridge. Greedy, hungry fingers scraped against his legs, but he crashed safely into the hard ground, rolling onto his back. The black wave slammed into the bridge, dispersing and scattering Heartless into the ocean beneath.

He pushed himself to his feet, bruised and out of breath. He wished he had a weapon... in his haste to reach the island, he had left behind anything that would've been any use. ... No, he corrected himself, he had nothing that would've been effective. Not against the Heartless.

Turning, he faced the one before him, unsure of what to do or say. Dull, wild hair was tossed around into an even more unkempt manner by the wind, the black and white short-sleeved jacket billowed easily. Even the wallet chain of crowns jingled lightly.

As if sensing someone was there, the figure looked over his shoulder, bright blue eyes shining.

"I was waiting for you," Sora said, smiling.

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BGM 01: Ordinary World, Duran Duran

Comments and criticism welcome.