Ashera… Please help me. I've done something terrible. I can't think clearly anymore… Aran is invading my thoughts. I don't want him to think that I blame him. I know that I brought it upon myself. But please, even though this is happening, don't let him see me like this. I don't want him to worry…

But I know, anyway, that this will continue.

All that I can do is make sure that he doesn't see me cry. But it's so hard… He's always watching. I'm not sure what to do when he comes around. I look down, in the distance, or cover my eyes. He knows something's wrong. I tell him I'm fine… I can't believe myself. It's terrible… I can't face Aran anymore, I can't hold tears back anymore, and to top it all off, I'm a terrible liar. But I shouldn't lie. That will only make it harder to face him.

He will find me out as a liar. I don't know what he'll do, but… I want us to remain, at least, friends once he does.

"Laura…"

He's come back! But… after all that I've been thinking about, I'm crying again. I look straight forward, ignoring him. He said it pretty quietly… I can pass off as not hearing him.

But I know I did, and I know it's Aran. Only Aran's voice could make my heart jump quite like that.

"Laura. I want to talk to you."

That was loud… loud enough, anyway, for someone like me. I can't pretend anymore. "Aran…" I said. My voice shook. I was crying again. "I… I'm sorry, this is a bad time…"

"What's the matter? You've been crying a lot lately. Something's up…"

"Ah! N-No… I-It's just that… I've been having allergies lately, and… They're making my eyes… water… But I… I'm glad that you are worried about me… Thank you…"

…!

"Um! I don't mean, that, you should be worried! Really, worrying feels terrible, so, I know that you probably don't want to feel bad… I'm sorry. What I said was… rude. I didn't mean it the way it must have sounded…"

"Laura, that wasn't the way it sounded. It sounded… sweet. I really appreciated it."

He said that to me. He really appreciated what I did. I looked away again, this time not to hide my tears, but to hide my face entirely, which must have been beet red. He gave me a look.

"I'm fine, Aran… You don't have to worry."

With that, he left again. I was alone again. Alone with only my thoughts to keep me company. And my thoughts weren't such pleasant company either.

The one I hated most of all stuck in my head.

"Aran is only pretending to care."