Chapter 2: Jealousy and longing
[Meanwhile, in another room in the Tardis…]
Rose had stormed immediately to her bedroom in the Tardis ,while Mickey left saying he would be back once they were ready to leave for the trip the Doctor had promised him earlier; his first proper trip in the that, Rose sighed in disappointment. When she heard Sarah-Jane's suggestion to the Doctor ("Oh, go on Doctor! Sarah-Jane Smith and Mickey Smith. You need a Smith on board!)she almost screamed with , instead,she just shrugged and said to Mickey "Fine! Why not?" and after seeing off Sarah-Jane she rushed to her room for some solitude.
She hap hoped to relax and get some sleep after their adventure with the Krillitanes had ended ("running for your life can be a very exhausting thing" she thought) but, reaching her bedroom, she suddenly realized that sleep was not an option any time soon as her mind buzzed with thoughts and her heart ached with a whirlwind of emotions unexpressed begging to be let out. She started to circle the room absent-mindedly arranging stuff and putting them back in their original place. She had never been a tidy person and her mum often threatened her that, if she didn't tidy up her room, then she would throw everything out in the street. Rose chuckled at the thought of her mum as she arranged her closet. She did that when she wanted to occupy her mind, to prevent herself from thinking about the same thing for the past few weeks; the Doctor. Not her old Doctor, but the new him.
Her heart beats increased every time she thought of him; his brown hair, the line which formed on his forehead when he thought, his deep chocolate brown eyes ("which look even more amazing with those glasses of his" she thought dreamily), his mouth…She shook her head trying to clear it of those tormenting and wonderful images but found herself unable to do so.
She thought of their hugs, warm and affectionate, which she found she enjoyed a little too much remembering the strength and warmth of his body against hers, his arms around her waist sending shivers down her spine, her face resting on his chest listening to the sound of his two hearts beating steadily and taking in his scent committing it to memory…
She had only realized her feelings for him when she saw him with Sarah-Jane; so at ease, talking and laughing a little too much she had noticed her reaction too and happily started dancing and laughing saying all the time "I told you so!" while she pretended not to notice him putting a fake smile on her face and joked about it while the green monster of jealousy gnawed at her consciousness. Mickey was convinced in the end she thought but she was bubbling up with anger at Sarah-Jane like a wild animal would be when something invaded its territory. She shuddered realizing she now thought of the Doctor as her territory. She dared not admit to herself her desire for him until... what could she do about it? She was incredibly hurt by his indifference of the past two weeks and afraid that she had done something to upset him, that he had found out somehow of her unspoken shameful desire for him and, worse, that he wanted to tell her in a tactful way to forget him, that it wasn't going to happen and that she should go back to her mum.
She prayed desperately that that wasn't the case, that there must be another explanation for the distance he had suddenly put between them but she couldn't think of any. Sighing anxiously, she started to strip her clothes to take a hot shower that would hopefully help calm her nerves and think of a possible solution to her 'problem'.
Suddenly, an idea hit her. It was completely mad and very risky what she thought and, if it didn't go according to plan, then it would backfire on her like a boomerang but she made up her mind quickly. She put her clothes hastily back on and, with silent determination, she made her way through the Tardis to the control room deciding to find out the truth once and for all.
