Chapter 2:Babbity Rabbity and her cackling stump
"Ha. Ha. You think this is funny, Albus?"
"Yes, I actually think it's funny imagining you being a heartless warlock," Dumbledore chuckled. "But then, you are heartless anyway."
"This is outrageous!" Severus roared, pointing at the parchment in front of him. "How could I ever kill her? If someone here is heartless than you!" Furiously he stormed out of the Headmaster Office.
Back in his quarters he sat down at his desk. Although he still had to mark some homeworks for the next day, Albus had made him think. Why not write a tale of Beedle the Bard using some else's name? Then suddenly he had an idea. Severus smirked. What Albus could that could he do too.
Once upon a time, in a far-off land, there lived an old, most foolish king named Albus Dumbledore. He decided that he alone should have the power of magic.
Albus therefore commanded the head of his huge army to form a Brigade of With-Hunters, and delivered them with a pack of bloodthirsty black hounds. At the same time, Albus brought about announcements to be read in every single village and town across the land:
Wanted by the King Albus Dumbledore, an Instructor in Magic.
No true witch or wizard dared to offer their help, for they were all in hiding from the Brigade of Witch-Hunters.
However, a young and cunning charlatan named Horace Slughorn with no magical power saw a chance of increasing his treasures. He arrived at the palace, claiming to be a wizard of enormous talent. Horace performed a few simple, clever, dexterous acts. These acts convinced foolish Dumbledore of his magical ability, and was instantly appointed Grand Sorcerer in Chief, the King Albus Dumbledore's Private Magic Master.
The charlatan bade the King give him a huge sack of gold coins, so that he might obtain wands and other magical means needed to support the learning of magic. He also requested several large rubies which would be used in the casting of health-giving charms, and one or two silver goblets for the collecting and maturing of potions. All these things foolish Dumbledore provided.
Slughorn deposited the treasure safely in his own house and returned to the palace grounds.
He didn't know that he was being watched by an old woman who lived in a cottage on the edge of the estate. Her name was Minerva. she was the washerwoman who kept the palace's linens soft, white and smelling pleasantly. Looking from behind her drying sheets, Minerva saw the charlatan separate two twigs from King Albus Dumbledore's trees and disappear into the enormous, royal house.
Horace Slughorn gave one of the twigs to the King and told him that it was a wand of massive, overwhelming power.
"It will only work, however," said Horace, "when you are worthy of it."
Each morning Horace and foolish Albus walked out into the royal house's grounds, where they formed ringlets in the air and yelled nonsense at the sky. Horace was careful to perform more tricks, so that Dumbledore stayed optimistic of his Grand Sorcerer's ability, and of the power of the wands that had cost so much gold.
One morning, as the charlatan and king were waving their "wands", and jumping in circles, on top of warbling not useful rhymes, a loud chuckling was heard by Albus. Minerva the washerwoman was watching the King and the charlatan from the window of her tiny hut. she was laughing so hard she soon sank out of view, not strong enough to stand any longer.
"I must look most vulgar, to make the old woman laugh so!" said Albus. He stopped to hop and twirl his twig, and frowned. "I grow bored of practice! When shall I be ready to perform real spells in front of my family and friends, Sorcerer?"
Horace tried to calm his student, saying reassuringly that he would seen be adapted at astonishing feats of magic, however Minerva's cackling had stung foolish Albus more than Horace kbew.
"Tomorrow," the King said, "we shall invite our court to watch their King perform magic"
The charlatan saw that the time had come to consume his treasure and flee.
"Alas, Your majest, it is not possible! I had forgotten to tell Your Majesty that I must set out on a long journey tomorrow ¬"
"If you leave this estate without my permission, Sorcerer, my Brigade of Witch-Hunters will hunt you down with their hounds! Tomorrow morning you will help me to perform magic for the benefit of my lords and ladies, and if anybody laughs at me, I shall have you beheaded!"
Albus stormed back to the royal house, leaving Horace alone and afraid. Not all his cunning could rescue him now. He couldn't run away, nor could he help Albus dumbledore with magic that neither of them knew.
Looking for a vent for his emotions, Horace approached Minerva's window. Peering inside it, he saw the small, wrinkly old lady sitting at her dining table, polishing a wand. In a corner beside her, the royal sheets washed themselves in a wooden tub.
Horace understood at once that Minerva was a true witch, and that she who had given him this terrible problem could also solve it.
"Woman!" roared the charlatan. "Your chuckling has cost me dear! If you fail to help me, I shall accuse you as a meddling witch, and it'll be you who is torn into pieces by the King's hounds!"
Old Minerva smiled warmly at Horace and assured him that she'd do every single thing in her power to help.
Horace told her to hide inside a bush while His Majesty gave his magical display, and to perform his spells for him, without his knowledge. Minerva agreed to the plan but asked one question.
"What, idle sir, if the King tried a spell Minerva cannot perform?"
Horace laughed dryly.
"Your magic is more than equal to that fool's imagination," he reassured her, and he went back to the castle, well pleased with his own cleverness.
The next morning all the lords and ladies of the kingdom came to the palace grounds. The King climbed on to a stage in front of them, with Horace bu his side.
"I shall firstly make that lady's hat vanish!" exclaimed Albus, pointing his twig at a noblewoman.
From inside a bush nearby, Minerva pointed her wand at the hat and caused it to disappear. Great was the astonishment and admiration of the crowd, and loud their applause for the King who felt an uplifting joy over his success.
"Now, I shall make that horse fly!" cried the King, pointing his twig at his own steed,
From inside the bush, Minerva pointed her wand at the horse and it flew high into the air.
The crowd of noblewomen and noblemen were still more thrilled and surprised and they roared their thankfulness of their magical King.
"And now," said King Albus, looking around for an idea. The Captain of his Brigade of Witch-Hunters ran forwards.
"Your Majesty," said the Captain, kneeing down, "this very morning, Sabre died of eating a poisonous toadstool! Bring him back to life, Your Majesty, with your magical wand!"
And the Captaib heaved on to the stage the lifeless body of the largest of the witch-hunting hounds.
Foolish King Albus waved his wand and pointed it at the body of the dead dog. But inside the bush, Minerva smiled, and did not trouble to lift her wand, for no magic can raise the dead.
When the dog did not move, the crowd began first to mutter, and then to laugh loudly. They thought that the King's first two feats had been nothing more than tricks.
"Why does it not work?" Albus screamed at Horace, who be thought himself on the only way to an indirect, cunning means to reach an end to all this.
"There, Your majesty, there!" he shouted, pointing at the bush where Minerva sat hidden. "I see her plain, a wicked witch who is meddling with your magic with her own evil spells! Seize her, somebody, seize her!"
Minerva fled from the bush, and the Brigade of With-Hunters set off in pursuit, unleashing their hounds, who barked for Minerva's blood. But as she reached a low hedge, the little old witch disappeared. When King Albus, Horace and all the courtiers gained the other side, they found the pack of witch-hunting hounds barking and scrabbling around a bent and aged tree.
"She's turned herself into a tree!" screamed Horace and, frightened that Minerva turned herself back into a woman and told on him, he added, "Cut her down, Your Majesty, that is the way to treat evil witches like her!"
An axe was brought instantly, and the old tree was felled to loud applause from the noblemen and noblewomen, the King's servants and Horace.
However, as they were making ready to return to the royal house, the sound of loud cackling stopped them in their tracks.
"Fools!" cried Minerva's voice from the stump they had left behind. "No witch or wizard can be killed by being cut in half! Take the axe, if you do not believe me, and cut the Grand Sorcerer in two!"
The Captain of the Brigade of Witch-Hunters was keen to make the experiment, but as he raised the axe Horace fell to his knees, screaming for mercy and confessing all his wickedness. As he was dragged away to the dungeons of the royal house, the tree stump chuckled more loudly than ever,
"By cutting a witch in half, you have unleashed a dreadful curse upon yourself and your kingdom!" it told the scared King Albus. "From now on, every stroke of harm that you inflict upon my fellow witches and wizards will fell like an axe stroke on your side, until you will wish you could die of it!
At that, King Albus fell onto his knees and told the stump that he would public a proclamation instantly, protecting all the witches and wizards of the kingdom, and allowing them to practice their magic in peace.
"Very well done," said the stump, "but you have not yet made amends to Minerva!"
"Anything, anything at all!" cried foolish Albus.
"You will build a statue of Minerva upon me, in memory of your poor washerwoman, and to remind you for ever of your foolishness!"
Albus dumbledore agreed to it instantly, and promised to hire the foremost sculptor in the land, and have the statue made of pure gold. Then the shamed King Albus and all the noblemen and noblewomen returned to the palace, leaving the tree stump cackling behind them.
When the estate was deserted once again, there wriggled from a small hole between the roots of the tree stump a shabby grey cat with a wand clamped between her teeth. Minerva ran out of the grounds and far away, and ever after a golden statue of the washerwoman stood upon the stump, and no witch or wizard was ever persecuted in the kingdom again.
A/N: If there are any spelling mistakes, please point them out to me and I'll try to fix them as soon as possible.
