This was written by NileyXXX

How many times in life have you felt that you don't belong here or you don't have anything to live for? See that happens to me all the time. My name is Miley Stewart and Welcome to my life. My dad died a few years ago out of cancer that's when everything changed. Luckily I still have my mom well literlly. Let me explain my mom works day and night just to keep this house running you know pay the rent bills etc. I only see her about 30 minutes a day the most if I'm lucky enough. Everyday I ask myself and god why did he had to take my dad away, he didn't deserve it did he?

Right now I'm in the bathroom with my sleeve is rolled up and I'm looking out the window. I grab my sharpener blade out of my secret box. I close my eyes tight and enjoy the pain when I finally drag it in my arm, when I finally open my eyes I watched the gushy red blood and I smile. I take out a tissue and clean the blood off my arm and put back the blade on the box. I rolled down my sleeves not bothering to put on a band aid I just too but not anymore.

I go out of the bathroom and blast some Elvis Costello music on. I sit on the corner of my room trying hard not to think. If time passes by I don't even feel it until I finally manage to sleep.

When I woke up this morning I was still in the same position as last night. It was 5:36 am I don't sleep much anymore I get this crazy nightmares their really vivid and I get creepout. I take a look at the mirror, I'm seriously scary I have big dark bangs under my eyes my black hair is sticking out everywhere. Yep I dyed my hair about a year ago and I love it. I went straight to the bathroom I stripped my clothes off and hopped into the shower. I took a look at my arms, they were terrible to look at there were about 50 cuts in each arm but that wasn't much. I use to cut my legs but then I stopped because I couldn't even walk anymore. When I was done I wrapped the towel in my tiny body and blow dried my hair. After that I changed into my black skinny jeans, a black shirt on top a of that a sweatshirt and my black ugg boots. I straightened my hair and I was ready to go.

I went downstairs to eat something I was starving. While I ate I turned on the T.v but I didn't exacly watch it. It was almost for a day in hell and I wasn't ready for it.

Before I exited the door I made sure that my little blade was in my pocket. I made my way to the bus stop extra slowly. This is when I wish I was invisible or dead.

"Hey there comes the freak" Someone murmured I didn't catch who.

I tried my best not to get pissed.

"Oh my god look at what she's wearing" Selena said the fake queen bee.

"Oh yea" Her clone said giggling.

I stood there hiding my face in between my hair. On the bright side they didn't tease to me. When the bus finally got here I took a seat on my usual seat right in front of the bus. I looked out the window for the rest of the ride. When we finally arrived to school I went straight to my locker and got everything I needed before someone saw me I headed to my first class. I was the first one there as always but I couldn't risk myself for people to make fun of me. I took a sit way on the back for no one to notice me that usually worked. I waited patiently for class to start. While people arrived I tried to be the most invisible person on planet earth. No one sat next to me I guess they didn't want my horribleness pass on them.

"Everyone please be quite" The teacher said once he arrived. "I have some news for you guys one of them is a bad and one of them is a good which one would you like first"

"The bad news" everyone yelled at once apart from me.

"Well the bad news is that were having a test tomorrow no exceptions"

"NOOOOO!!" everyone shouted.

"YESSS well anyways the good news is that were having a new transferred student soon"

Selena raised her hand.

"Yes Selena" Mr.. Otto asked.

"And that's good news why" Selena said raising her eyebrow.

"To tell you the truth I don't know but I didn't have any other news" Mr.. Otto said trying to find a paper.

The rest of the hour past so slow I couldn't wait for it to be over. I had this ache in me to cut myself I couldn't wait any longer we still had about 10 minutes but I decided to ask to go to the bathroom so I could cut myself so I raised my hand.

"Yes Miss, Stewart" Mr.s Otto asked.

"Can I please go to the bathroom" I asked almost in a whispered.

"Um sure I guess"

I quickly got up from my desk and Mr.. otto gave me the pass. I made my way to the bathroom almost running I locked the door and sat on the corner. I took out the little blade and rolled up my sleeve and drag the sharpener blade on my arm and waited until the pain was over and smile to myself. You might be thinking why don't you just kill yourself and get it over by now but honestly I can't. I thought about it but I just don't think I can hurt my mom that much. I cleaned myself up and went back to class when I was almost there the bell rang at least class was over now. I let everyone go out before entering to get my stuff I gave the pass to the teacher and made myself to my Spanish class. Took a sit on my desk and waited till school was over.

After that the whole morning pass in a blur it was lunch time now. I went to the usual place I always go too, and that's the bleachers I don't eat that nasty food poison the other students eat. Usually during this time I take out my ipod and listen to music but today I just started to think about other people life's the ones I like to call them perfect life's. For example Selena she has popularity, amazing parents I think, a perfect life what else could she ask her. Sometimes I wish I was her but that can never be possible.

I have to admit I miss my bestfriend Lily. I've know her since I was just a little girl we became bestfriends instantly just by a peanut butter sandwich can you believe it. After my dad died I stopped talking to her and faded in the background she used to try to make conversation but then she just gave up. I miss her I'm going to have to admit that.

After he passed away I figured out that my life could never be the same way.


So watcha think :D new story thank for the people who reviewed.

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