Buffy heard heavy footsteps on the front porch and she raced to open the front door.

Xander; his face torn, bloody, and ashen. In his arms the limp body of Willow. For an instant Buffy thought she was dead but then she noticed the slow rise and fall of Willow's chest. Willow's eyes blinked slowly as they gazed out unfocused into empty space.

Buffy stood aside as Xander carried Willow into the living room and laid her on the couch, grunting at the pain that stabbed through his ribs as he did so. He then knelt down on the floor in front of the couch and took Willow's hand in his own.

Buffy hovered over the two for a few moments, unsure of her place before deciding to kneel down next to Xander.

She had nearly lost them, both of them. That single fact hammered powerfully home into her heart and mind.

They had survived, but at what cost?

Xander looked at Buffy like a little boy, lost and afraid, looking to a grown up for comfort and protection. Tears rolled down Buffy's cheeks.

She was just as lost and afraid as he was.

Seeing her tears, Xander reached out with is free hand and, cupping her face in his hand, gently brushed her tears away and leaving little streaks of dirt and ash on her cheeks. Even now, hurt and lost, Xander's instinct was to give all the support, love, and comfort he could.

The last of Buffy's resolve crumbled at the strength of his love and she burst into tears. Xander pulled her close, resting his head on top of hers as she cried into his shoulder, all the while his other hand held Willow's.

Buffy regained her composure after a few minutes. She held Xander's hand in one hand and delicately brushed a lock of Willow's hair out of her face with the other.

She needed them, but right now they needed her more.

"Xander." Even though it was barely above a whisper, the sound of her voice seemed loud in the silence of the living room.

"Why don't you go up stairs and have a shower, hmm? Once you're cleaned up we'll see what we can do about those cuts."

Xander looked upstairs towards the shower, the call of the hot spray washing away the dirt, blood, and ash was powerful. He looked back down at Willow, his hesitation and the reason for it obvious to Buffy.

"Don't worry Xan, I'll stay here with her while you shower, Ok?" Buffy assured her friend. Reluctantly Xander nodded his assent. He kissed Willow's hand and go up, again grunting with the pain. The way he was moving and carrying himself, Buffy figured he probably had a number of cracked ribs as well. He slowly moved up the stairs.

"Willow? Willow!" Buffy panicked as the redhead's eyes rolled back and she started to jerk and convulse as if in a fit.

Xander raced down the stairs to Willow, his injuries and fatigue forgotten for the moment as adrenaline flooded his system.

"Willow! I'm here Will. Calm down. Shhh… it's OK. I'm not going anywhere." Xander reassured her as he held her hand and caressed her face.

Gradually Willow calmed and returned to her catatonic state. Buffy looked at her two friends, a theory forming in her mind.

"Xander, could you go into the kitchen? It's just for a minute."

Xander looked at her in puzzlement, the effects of the adrenaline beginning to fade and the pain and fatigue returning.

"I wanna test something. Please?"

Hesitating for a moment, Xander complied with her request.

Buffy's theory was confirmed.

As soon as Xander had left the room, Willow began to convulse.

Like before, Xander raced back to Willow and the convulsions subsided.

The situation forced Buffy to think. Xander needed to get cleaned up and his wounds seen to before they got infected. Hell, he probably needed to get to hospital just to be sure. But the situation with Willow complicated matters. Xander couldn't, nor wouldn't, leave Willow's side.

'Look after them. They need you.'

Buffy remembered Anya's words. Willow was catatonic and Xander was little better. It was up to Buffy to take charge and help her friends.

"Xander, we've gotta get you cleaned up and I've gotta do something about those cuts of yours, OK? I'm gonna carry Willow upstairs to the bathroom and I need you to come too. You understand?" she asked Xander who nodded slowly. He unsteadily got up as Buffy picked up Willow.

"Alright Xander, you walk in front of me... Up the stairs... that's the way." She coaxed him, his mind having pretty much shut down by now. Having got to the bathroom, Buffy faced her next problem of what to do next. She knew what she needed to do but was reluctant to do it. In the end Buffy decided that she had to do what she had to do, any other consideration was a luxury that they couldn't afford right now.

"I'm running Willow a bath and I need you to hold her while I do that." Buffy sat Willow on the edge of the bathtub and Xander held her so she didn't fall. Buffy started the bath, making sure it wasn't too hot. As an after thought, she added Willow's favorite bath salts to the water.

With Xander holding on to Willow, Buffy undressed her.

Need overruled modesty at the moment. Her friends couldn't do the things that needed doing right now so Buffy had to do it for them.

Shutting off the water, Buffy picked up Willow and placed her in the bath then eased Xander down in the corner beside the bathtub. Xander sat there, his eyes vacant and the look on his face was not too dissimilar to Willow's.

Grabbing the soap and the washer, Buffy began to clean the dirt and ash from Willow.

As she did so, Buffy's attention was drawn to Willow's face. She had known Willow for six years; they had been best friends and fought evil together. Willow's face was as familiar, if not more so, than her own.

So what was so different about it now?

Was it because it was now the face of a murderer?

No. All the Scoobies had at one point or another taken a human life by accident or otherwise. It was true that this time it had been different. But Buffy couldn't condemn her for doing something that, if their positions had been reversed, Buffy would have done herself.

The difference was her eyes.

Willow's eyes were devoid of life; the special spark unique to the bubbly redhead was gone.

Buffy worked quickly to wash her friend; the grime disappearing to reveal the alabaster skin beneath.

Once Willow as clean, Buffy drained the bath. Looking over to Xander, she saw that he had curled up. Buffy cursed herself for sitting Xander down on the floor like that. His injuries had made him seize up, unable to move much at all.

Buffy lifted Willow out of the tub and dried her as best she could then wrapped her in the towel.

Laying Willow next to Xander, Buffy contemplated her next task. Moving Xander would cause him pain. Laying him down in the bathtub then lifting him up again would hurt him even more. She needed to keep him upright until after she had seen to the cuts and taped his ribs up.

"Xander, I'm going to help you stand up. I know it'll hurt but you gotta stand up so I can help you, alright?" the smallest of nods from Xander indicating he understood.

As she helped him up, Xander gave a strangled yelp of pain. Once Buffy made sure he was able to stand by himself, she gently eased him out of his clothes then started the shower running. Quickly she stripped off her own clothes and guided Xander into the shower and carefully began to wash the two of them.

Xander's blank look never changed a bit the whole time.

Washed and dried, Buffy sat Xander on the lid of the toilet and tended to his injuries. The cuts on his face and chest probably wouldn't need stitches. Buffy searched the first aid kit in the bathroom and found the salve that Tara had made to help cuts and scratches heal quicker. Thinking of Tara made Buffy choke up with tears.

She placed bandages on this cuts, taped up his ribs, then gathered up all their dirty and torn clothes and dumped them in the washing basket.

"Xander, you and Willow are gonna stay in my room for now, OK?"

Buffy picked up Willow and they headed to Buffy's room. Buffy only hoped that Dawn wouldn't see the three of them heading into Buffy's room naked.

She laid Willow down in the middle of the bed then helped Xander get in next to her. He curled up to Willow as best he could and promptly fell asleep, his exhaustion claiming him. Buffy opened her draw to get her clothes but stopped. She gazed at her two friends on the bed. Xander held Willow in a platonic embrace.

Her friends needed her.

Without dressing, Buffy slipped into bed on the other side of Willow and, a little awkwardly, curled up next to her. Buffy took Xander's hand in her own.

Tomorrow will take care of itself.

With that last thought, Buffy fell asleep.

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Asperges me, Domine, hyssopo et mundabor: lavabis me et super nivem dealbabor.

(Thou shalt sprinkle me with hyssop, O Lord, and I shall be cleansed; Thou shall wash me, and I shall be made whiter than snow.)

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