Strangers. That's what they'd become. That's what their entire relationship had come to. She had even said as much in the note that she had left on their kitchen table. She hadn't said it to hurt Paul. That was the last thing she ever wanted to do. She had only said that in the hopes of being able to fully express what she was feeling.
When she had left the house, she had grabbed her CD's to bring along with her while made the hour-and-a-half drive to her sister and brother-in-law's house in New York City. As she had in the past, she relied on music to help her keep her sanity and composure. However, when she put the Martina McBride CD she had been listening to into the CD player of her 2009 maroon Ford Mustang, she was unprepared for yet another song on the CD to end up drumming up emotions she had never really felt before. The song was called "Strangers". As she sat and listened to the first verse of the song, she thought she was going to have to pull over. She felt the tears prickling the edges of her eyes.
Two strangers passing on the side walk
Barely brush each other's hand
He's says "I'm sorry"
She says "Don't worry"
And that's how it all began
Madison couldn't help but thinking about when she and Paul first met. It had all happened so fast, it was like a whirlwind. It was something very unexpected to either of them. Neither of them were looking for a relationship when they were introduced to one another. In fact, both of them were very hesitant when Madison's younger sister introduced them each other. Despite everything, she couldn't help but to smile when she thought of that night at her sister and brother-in-law's.
*Flashback*
"Exactly how many people are you expecting for this shin-dig, Jordy?"
Jordan smiled at her older sister. What Madison wasn't aware of was that it wasn't just any ordinary shin-dig. She had ulterior motives behind the entire evening. "Umm… I'm not exactly sure. I know that Dad, Cody, Dustin and Terri are coming for sure. I'm assuming Shane's family is gonna be here, too, but I don't know for sure about them. Other than that… I have no idea." she replied, referring to most of her family.
"Jordy… you're up to something. I don't know what it is, but I know you well enough to know when you're up to no good." Madison quickly countered.
As if right on cue, the doorbell rang, coming to Jordynne's aid. She stuck her tongue out at her sister and rolled her eyes in a teasing manner, thankful not to have to think on her feet for a comeback to Madison's comment.
"Real mature, Jordy. Real mature."
"I know. That's why you love me."
"Somebody's gotta besides your husband." Madison teased with a chuckle.
"Whoa… I think we walked in on the wrong end of that conversation," came a familiar deep, husky voice.
Jordynne turned her attention to the entry way of the kitchen. Between making sure all the last minute details of the well-planned dinner were taken care of and talking to her sister, she hadn't noticed her husband and their guest walk in. "Pauly!" she exclaimed as she bounded for the big blond man to greet him.
After an exchange of pleasantries, Jordynne took it upon herself to introduce the big blond man to her sister. Her "ulterior motive" for the evening was in full effect. "Pauly, this is my sister Madison." she said with a mischievous smile.
"Nice to meet you, Madison." he said shyly as he extended his hand.
"Nice to meet you, too, Paul." Madison replied with equal shyness as she returned the handshake.
*End of Flashback*
A few short days and nights together
And it's like they were meant to be
Lying there he softly whispers
Just think what we were so recently
God, how that night was so perfect, Madison thought to herself as the song continued to blast from her car speakers. Granted, that had been over five years ago, but it still felt like it was just yesterday to her. It seemed like everything happened so fast between them. It all seemed like it was something out of a fairytale. From the moment she laid eyes on Paul, she was completely taken with him. She didn't know what it was that instantly attracted her to the big blond man. She knew it wasn't just an attraction on physical level either. That was probably the thing that attracted her most to Paul. Of course, everyone knew him as the egotistical, overbearing asshole he played on television. However, she knew different. She knew him as one of the funniest, warmest, caring men she had ever met.
Strangers, strangers
The world's greatest lovers
Last week they were strangers
I can't believe we went from being complete and total strangers to being lovers only to have things go so wrong between us, she thought as she heard the chorus to the song. And wrong they had gone. That was what pained her the most. The not knowing. The not knowing exactly what it was that had gone so wrong. She reminisced on their entire relationship in the hopes of finding the answer to that question. It was no use, though. She knew it was something that only time would reveal.
Two strangers passing in the hallway
Barely touch each other's heart
Now they're pretending
Two shadows blending
But they're a million miles apart
Despite coming to the conclusion that on time would reveal the answer to her question, it didn't deter her from wondering. It didn't deter her from trying to search for the answer, either. She knew she had to find the answer. Her happiness – and quite possibly her marriage- depended upon it.
Soon she'll be packing up her suitcase
They'll be dividing all the blame
They know how they started
Now empty hearted
They don't have a clue as to how they became
(repeat chorus)
She hadn't meant for things for get to where they had. Deep down, she knew Paul hadn't, either. The more she thought about it, the more she hoped this wasn't the end for her and Paul. She loved him so much. She couldn't imagine her life without him in it. Paul had been such a big part of her life for so long, she couldn't even remember what life had been like before him. She couldn't imagine herself with anyone else but him, nor did she want to be with anyone but him. Deep down, she hoped he felt the same. The entire conflict raging through her at the moment wasn't that she felt Paul didn't love her. She knew he loved her. She just wasn't sure he was "in" love with her or wanted to be with her anymore.
As she continued making her way to her sister and brother-in-law's, she continued to lose her herself in thinking about her relationship with Paul. She knew it wouldn't do her any good to do so, but in an odd, twisted way, she found comfort in reminiscing in all of the good times she and Paul had ever had together. I must be out of my damn mind right now, she silently scolded herself. She couldn't help but think that she was walking an extremely thin line between self-pity and being almost morbid. Why she felt that way, she had absolutely no idea. She just knew that that was how she felt at that moment.
The world's greatest lovers
Have turned into strangers
And now they are strangers
Strangers, strangers
She released a tremendously loud sigh of relief when the song ended. I am absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, one hundred percent crazy, she told herself as she pulled into her sister and brother-in-law's driveway. She knew she could always count on both of them anytime she needed them. And she knew she needed them – as well as the rest of her family – now, more than ever.
What am I going to tell everyone, she asked herself as she put her car in park and shut the engine off. She was afraid of what everyone was going to think when she told them what she'd just done. She worried what they would think of her, or if it would change what they thought about her. More importantly, she worried what they would think of Paul. She knew she had to do everything within her power to make sure that everyone knew that she was the one that had left, not Paul. That she was just as guilty of allowing their relationship get to where it had gotten.
Madison continued to let her thoughts overtake her as she felt the familiar stinging feeling of tears running down her cheeks. She was quickly brought back to reality when she heard a light rapping noise on her window. Startled, she turned to meet the familiar 6"2' frame of her brother-in-law, Shane McMahon. She could see the look of concern and confusion in his eyes as she rolled down her window.
"Hey, Maddie. Didn't mean to scare you." Shane greeted his sister-in-law with a smile.
"It's alright, Shane." Madison replied returning his smile. The smile was forced and half-hearted. It was all she could manage. "I was just thinkin about some stuff, so I didn't see you pull in the driveway and walk over here." she quickly continued as she exited the car and reached up to hug Shane. She knew Shane could sense something was wrong. She also knew that because he could sense something was wrong, it was only a matter of time before an explanation was required, or even demanded, of her.
Shane returned his sister-in-law's embrace. There was absolutely no doubt in his mind that the woman standing before him and the woman waiting inside the house for him were related. They looked almost identical. Of course, the exception to that being, Madison was the eldest of the two women. After a few more moments, Shane's curiosity had gotten the best of him. He released Madison and pulled back to lock eyes with her. It was then that he could see that her eyes were red and swollen, her cheeks tear-stained. It almost looked as if she'd been on the losing end of one hell of a fight. At that moment, he became even more concerned and worried about the petite dark-brown haired woman. He didn't know what else to do or what he should say. The only thing that came to mind was to hug her again, which is what he did. "It's good to see ya." he said as he again pulled back to lock eyes with her.
It was then that Madison reached her breaking point. She couldn't keep it bottled up any longer. Everything had come crashing around her and the reality of what she had just done was finally starting to sink in. She tried as hard as she could not to break the façade she was portraying, but it was no use. She broke down in tears right in front of Shane. It wasn't what she wanted. She had tried to avoid it all costs. It couldn't be helped, though. She needed the release. She crumpled into a heap in Shane's arms as she sobbed inconsolably.
It broke Shane's heart to see his sister-in-law in such obvious agony. All he could do was just sit there and cradle her by the side of her car. He could never remember a time when he ever saw Madison like she was at that moment. He had always known her as an extremely strong, independent, self-sufficient woman. Rock solid almost. Unbreakable. Undefeatable. That was another of the many things his wife and sister-in-law had in common. It was the thing he admired the most about both women. He knew there was no use in trying to console Madison. It wasn't that he didn't want to. He just knew that he wasn't the right person for the job at that moment. He maneuvered Madison far enough away from the car door and closed it. He then went into "big brother" mode as he silently urged her to walk with him into the house, leaving everything in both of their vehicles until he could come back out and retrieve it.
