Thanks for the reviews people!
I always forget the disclaimer bit but this time I'll play by the rules: I don't own House, in fact with great episodes like "The Tyrant" and "Brave Heart", that's quite the opposite: House totally owns me.
Okay, without further ado...
Chapter 2: prosecuted
Cuddy was surprised to see House at her doorstep. His visit struck her as odd given that they hadn't said one word to each other that was not work-related since House had told her she made him feel funny.
"What are you doing here?" she asked her star diagnostician tiredly. She wasn't in the mood and yet she had to admit she was intrigued.
"I needed to talk to you" House replied seriously, his voice devoid of any sarcasm.
"We haven't really spoken in ages and I was at the party during five endless hours without you talking to me"
"Yeah, speaking of which: you've been avoiding me" he noticed.
"Honestly, I completely forgot you were even there" Cuddy admitted, not to hurt him but just because it was the truth. House didn't know if she meant at the fundraiser or in general. It wasn't clear but either way, it bothered him much more than it should have.
"That's flattering" House deadpanned, hiding his hurt feelings.
Cuddy felt the sudden and absurd need to cry. 'Not. Now' she admonished herself.
She looked at him and fought the urge to break down with all the strength she could muster. She looked down and without being able to help herself, she burst into tears. House looked at her, dumbfounded, confused, but his protective instincts kicked in and he hugged her, feeling her tremble in her arms. He lifted her and closed the door with his foot, then went to her couch and gently put her down, settling beside her. He held her close and his heart broke when he felt her muffle her sobs against his chest. He rocked her gently, and it occurred to her that his hand was rubbing her back soothingly just as she did with Rachel, which made her cry even harder.
After a while, she was so exhausted she fell into sleep. She almost hadn't slept all week. House looked at her closely and wondered what made her lose control. He had only seen her cry twice in twenty years and never had he seen her so desperate.
House didn't know what to do so he just stayed there, holding her and let his mind wander. He had to figure out what was going on but he fought the urge to wake her up: she needed to get some rest.
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Cuddy woke up two hours later, completely disoriented. She was in her couch, curled against a manly chest. She looked up and was shocked to see House looking intently at her. She was too exhausted to feel embarrassed. She then remembered opening the door and bursting into tears. The rest was blurry, she didn't remember walking to the couch or falling asleep.
"Hey sleepy head" House whispered gently.
"Hey" Cuddy managed to mouth, her gray stormy eyes locked with his baby blues.
"Care to share what started the waterfalls?" House quipped, making her relax a little.
She smiled weakly and tried to get up to put some distance between them.
"Oh no you're not going anywhere Cuddy. You momentarily turned me into a cuddling teddy bear so you owe me"
"I'm just tired, I barely slept all week. Sorry about earlier. What did you come for?"
"Yeah right, look: I invented the deflection concept so don't even try"
Cuddy thought it over and with a resigned sigh, she decided to confide in him. She swallowed the lump in her throat and her eyes focused on the floor, her shoulders down.
"Rachel's grandparents. They came with their lawyer. They want to take Rachel away for me"
"What? A few months ago taking Rachel was too painful and now they want her back?"
"Yeah, that's pretty much it"
"What are you gonna do about it?"
"I called my lawyer but he told me the odds are not in my favor. I can't lose her, I just can't" she said, panicked. "Maybe I should give my resignation to the board and be a stay-at-home mother"
"This is bullsh*t" House said angrily. He thought for a minute and Cuddy could almost see the wheels turning in his head. She doubted he could help her keep her daughter, but seeing him concerned made her feel a little better.
House finally snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her with his epiphany look.
"Call Lucas"
"What?"
"My PI, call him. They must know you're not gonna hand your child to them without a fight so they are going to base their argument on you being a working single parent. Let's get some ammo against them" House declared. "They did a hell of a job with..."
"House..."
"Do you want to keep the Gremlin or not?" he challenged.
"Yes" she said unequivocally.
"Okay then, call Lucas. And be prepared to be the nasty she-devil I know you are" he said with a mischievous grin.
Cuddy looked at him with a poignant gratitude "Thank you"
"You're welcome. Now go to bed, it's very late"
"Yeah, House, I just..."
"Yeah, I'm so glad I'm gonna see that bitchy wrath directed at someone else for once"
Cuddy laughed and realized she hadn't relaxed for a very long time, let alone laugh.
"Goodnight House"
"Night Cuddy" and he silently closed the front door behind him.
Cuddy checked on Rachel who was sound asleep in her crib. She put a light kiss on her daughter's forehead and put a soothing hand on her warm little belly. She fought the impulse of taking the baby in bed with her and went to her bedroom. She felt better since her conversation with House but an unsettling gloomy feeling was still lingering. She laid down and fell asleep immediately.
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She was in the courtroom and was taking the stand. She looked around and she couldn't see anything but unfamiliar faces. 'Where are my family and friends?' she wondered. Her side of the room was empty and on the other side, there were Rachel's grandparents, their lawyer, and behind them an entire crowd of supporters who where looking at her like she killed someone. She felt oppressed, judged, despised even. She then saw all the members of the board pointing an accusatory finger at her, accusing her of being a bad mother and a negligent Dean of Medicine.
"How can she be a mother when she cannot control a limping 50-year-old lunatic? She drove him crazy, she will turn Jessica into a sociopath" she heard one of the hospital's big shots.
The spotlights aimed at her made her sweat. There was nothing warm or comforting about this light, it was uncomfortably hot and aggressive.
"Could you please do something about the light?" she tried to say, her heart pounding painfully in her chest.
"Why? Do you have something to hide? Are you feeling exposed? Does it bother you?" Patterson said. The lawyer had a wicked smile and looked increasingly confident.
"No, it's just... it's too hot" Cuddy cried, helpless.
"Don't worry Miss Cuddy" he said condescendingly, putting the emphasis on the word 'Miss', you'll soon go back to your cold home, alone. My clients will have Jessica by Christmas eve"
"No! It's Doctor Cuddy and my baby's name is Rachel" she said, losing her temper. "You can't take her from me and certainly not on Christmas eve"
"Why does it matter? You are Jewish!" Rachel grandmother intervened.
Cuddy felt dizzy and looked around her. She was now in her living room. She looked at the street through her steamy window and saw that it was snowing outside. It was Christmas eve, after Cuddy gave away her baby, the only person she loved and who loved her right back, the only person who could put a smile on her face after a rough day. She was gone. Her baby, her hopes, everything that mattered had been ripped from her. She was cold, colder than she had ever been. She had no reason to live other than the hospital, and 'right now I would give that away in a heart beat if it could bring Rachel back to me' she thought desperately, a loud sob escaping her trembling lips.
"Nothing matters, your life's a waste" a voice in her head said.
She had nothing left. Rachel -or Jessica, whatever- was God knows where. She broke down crying and stayed lying on the floor, letting all the tears she had stream down her cheeks. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't stand the emptiness, the loneliness. She knew all about loneliness, she had been alone her whole life, but Rachel had changed everything. Losing her made it worse: never before had she felt so alone in the world. She felt a huge hole where her heart was supposed to be. She felt empty but not the numbing kind of empty, she felt like her heart had been cut off but the pain was still there. A bit like if she had a phantom limb. It wasn't there anymore but it hurt like hell.
'Maybe I should get drunk' she thought, not knowing what to do with herself. Losing Joy had been painful, losing Rachel after having lived with her for months was beyond any pain she's ever had, it was physically unbearable. 'God, how am I going to survive?' she finally wondered before grabbing a bottle of whiskey and taking a large gulp. She was expecting her throat to burn but instead she tasted sour. 'What the...?' It wasn't whiskey, it was sour breast milk.
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She brutally woke up with a bitter taste in her mouth and immediately went to the bathroom to throw up. Her hands gripping the toilet seat, she had a head-splitting headache, her throat was on fire. She then ran to Rachel's crib to see that she was peacefully asleep, oblivious of her mommy's drama. "It was just a dream, just a dream" she repeated over and over like a mantra.
Reassured, she went to take a shower and put on some casual clothes. Then she called Lucas as House had suggested.
"Lucas Douglas?"
"Yeah, that's me" he said with a sleepy voice.
Cuddy looked at the clock in her bedside table '6:30am'
"Sorry, I know it's early but I need..."
"Who is it?" Lucas asked
"Oh sorry, it's Lisa Cuddy, House's boss, it's been a while, I don't know if you remember me"
"Oh I remember you, trust me" he said, now completely awake, and more than interested. "You have my undivided attention. What can I do for you?" he asked, intrigued.
"I need you" she said, her voice showing her angst.
'That should be interesting' Lucas thought. "Let's meet for breakfast at the same diner than last time okay? 8 o'clock?" Lucas suggested.
"Perfect. Thank you for being available Lucas, it means a lot" Cuddy sounded relieved.
"No problem, see you then" and with that, they hung up.
TBC... Do you want Cuddy to keep Rachel? Who do you think is gonna win her heart? The answer seems obvious, but don't forget that everybody lies. And they start with themselves... The trial 'scene' is gonna be fun to write. My sadistically argumentative brain is bubbling up already...
