For a long time they didn't actually say anything. She sat on the couch and he sat next to her, not quit touching, but closer than needed. They watched silently as the movie played on; both knowing there was a lot to talk about, but neither knowing where to begin.

As the credits began to role, she turned off the television and turned to face him. She didn't know what to say. Part of her knew that all she had to say was she wasn't referring to NCIS when she had said she was tired of pretending, but she was scared.

It was a new feeling really; being scared. She had been trained to not feel fear and could run straight into gunfire without a second thought, but now, she was scared. Scared to talk to her own partner, but in a way she knew he was more than that, and that, was why she was afraid.

He could feel her eyes on him, but he wouldn't turn to look at her. There was so much to say and he didn't know where to begin. Part of him hoped that she would start, yet he knew she was leaving this up to him.

This talk had been a long time coming. Maybe they should have talked about this within the first year they met. Perhaps then, everything that had happened in the last few years would be different. They were pretending. They had been for as long as he could figure. The thing was he knew that they could never stop. Things had to stay the way they were.

Finally, he turned to look at her. Like always, he could read everything in her eyes. He knew she understood what had to be said. She knew that nothing could come of this, but for some reason, that hurt him more than Jeanne leaving. It was like a piercing straight through his heart.

"I'm tired of pretending." That's all he could think of saying. It was the only thing that made sense. It summed up everything he wanted to say, but said it in a way that protected him just a little bit.

She wasn't sure what she was expecting him to say, but that wasn't it. However, she answered with the only thing that made sense to her.

"As am I." It was simply a repeat of the conversation that brought them here, but now they both knew what the other truly meant by that statement.

They continued to look at each other; neither one making an effort to say anything else for a long time. She knew they should continue to talk about it; to figure out what to do next. Yet, she didn't even know where to begin. The look in his eyes said it couldn't go anywhere, and she ruefully agreed he was right. Still, she would have liked to verbalize something.

Instead, she asked him about his childhood. It was a subject she knew little about. Long into the night they opened up to each other like they never had before. She told him all about her past. She told him things that no one else would ever know.

He knew why she was doing this; talking about everything else. They both knew that as long as they didn't really talk about it, things wouldn't have to change in any way. It was a way to protect them both. At least, for the time being.

She told him everything about Ari. He could tell she expected him to change his opinion of her for what she did. After all, she killed her own brother, but he couldn't hold that against her. By killing Ari, she had saved Gibbs, and avenged Kate. How could he look down on anyone for putting others above herself?

They talked until they had nothing else to say. Finally, he got up and grabbed his coat. She stood with him and walked him to the door. When they got to it, they both just stopped and looked to each other.

"What do we do now?"

His heart broke when she spoke those words. He had hoped she wouldn't ask. By not asking everything could stay the same. Now it could never be like it was. There would always be a knowledge there that they would have to live with everyday.

Looking down at her he knew he had only one chance to get this right. He had to let her know he didn't want to keep pretending, but that it was something they had to do. Very slowly, so she would have a chance to stop him, he bent his head to hers, and gently, very gently, kissed her. He didn't let it last too long. It was just to show her something.

She knew what he was doing. He was letting her know that something greater than what they wanted had to be taken into account. His kiss was soft and gentle and final. It broke her heart, but she knew he was right. Maybe someday things would be different, but for now they had to be like this.

When he pulled back she saw the sadness in his eyes. She knew her own reflected what he felt.

"We just keep pretending."

With those final words he walked out of her door and she resigned herself to her worst fate yet.