Greetings! As many of you may have noticed, I recently merged my former chapters one and two into one big chapter. I've always enjoyed reading long chapters better anyway, so I hope whenever you see my story in your alerts, you will be happy to know there's a lot of words coming! (that sounded better in my head...?)
As a warning, I must admit, this is not some of my best work. I hope you'll bear with me though, and I will try hard to fix what I can!
Comments to Comments at the bottom.
Previously...
L stared at her, then their touching fingers, then back at her kind face, and took the box, which meant thank you.
Akamine covered her smile with her napkin as he held the ribbons, transfixed, as if they were breakable.
Strange boy.
xxxxx
"This pair of wings worn and rusted from too many years by my side
They can carry me swear to be, surdy and strong but see
Turning them on still means goodbye.
And so here we go bluebird, gather your strength and rise up.
Oh, let him go bluebird.
Here we go."
xxxxx
"Honestly, I don't like talking about it," Juri said uncomfortably.
Ryuzaki peered at her and managed to say around the cookie currently occupying his mouth, "Why not?"
"Well, you already know about my brother...And besides," she shrugged, taking a sip of the tea from the cafeteria. It was chilling in her fingers, but Juri savored the warm smell drifting up and the little curls of steam wrapping around her gloves. "I feel like I can't really have an opinion on something like...that."
"All I asked was what you thought about Kira," he repeated.
Over the past month, Juri'd gotten used to his constant need for eye-contact, but not his seemingly random yet deeply invigorating questions. Usually, she enjoyed their weekly meetings for lunch, but constantly had to remind herself that Ryuzaki's honesty was a charisma Juri had been graced without and should appreciate.
But sometimes he was a bit too insensitive, and didn't hesitate delving into her usual no-cross zones: subjects like Senri, controversial issues, and mass murder.
What could she say? Juri didn't like taking sides: everybody's girl didn't take sides.
"You should be quiet," she said, glancing around at the empty place. Not many people walked here anyway; they were sitting on the bench where they had first met, with a plate of cookies that Akamine had provided in the middle.
And by middle, she meant next to Ryuzaki.
"I think you do have an opinion, you're just afraid to say it," Ryuzaki stated at the same volume. "Don't be scared. I'm just curious, because everything's spiraling down more than you can imagine. I don't like to say things like this, but the world's taking sides."
"So I have to take a side now?" Juri asked sourly, but not unkindly. She leaned over and took a cookie. "Will you hate me if I disagree with you?"
"Of course not." And he didn't look like he was lying. "Of course, it'd be ideal you agree with me," he continued- to which Akamine scoffed- "but I'd never hate you. You've made my number of friends increase again."
"I like you too, Ryuzaki," Juri sighed, peering at the uneaten morsel in one hand, the cup of tea in the other. "Then, in that case...I have to say in all honesty, I'm not a supporter of Kira's...methods."
Instead of clasping her hand or scowling, he maintained that same bland expression.
"Why not?"
"I think murder is wrong, murdering murderers is worse, and anything past that is all just so sinful," Juri said in an out-of-character quiet. "Ideally, I believe in reformation before retribution and second chances before conclusions and mercy before justice. And I know we're not in an ideal world, but it's just what I think.
"I also think no one should decide what's wrong or right...only someone divine, because God's pretty wise, I hear, which makes sense, because he's lived with rotten humans for so long. Kira's far from God. God should be merciful. And I'm not...super religious or anything, like, I'm not trying to convert you right now...but I think we do have someone watching out for us up there."
They both quietly peered up into the sky, wondering secretly what kind of person sat up there: just, merciful, or both?
"I'm an atheist," L finally said.
Juri gave him a funny look. "Okay. I'm not going to argue with you."
Ryuzaki shrugged and handed her the plate with a lone cookie on it. "That's fine. I'm a bad loser. Even if God himself gave me rules of right and wrong, I'd write my own."
She glanced at him sideways, and like he felt her eyes, met them. He was strange, for sure- strange, but strong in the way he kept himself so open to ideas.
Figuratively.
He still sat tucked into himself.
"I'd expect nothing less from you," Akamine nodded, taking the dessert and breaking it in two. "That's very humanistic thinking. But who are you to judge what's right..." she held up the piece in her left hand, "...and what's wrong?" Juri connected the one in her right, and they stared thoughtfully at the cookie that held a strangely creepy meaning into the insight of life.
"And then you can get into Daoism and stare forever at Yin-Yang..." Ryuzaki pointed out.
"Oh, just eat the cookie," she shook her head playfully, smooth ponytail bobbing over one shoulder. L let her jam his half lopsidedly into his mouth, and Juri stayed close to him as she chewed her own piece. She stared deep into his eyes, and for some reason, burst out laughing.
"I'm sorry," she said breathlessly, glanced at his face, then buried her face to hide. "I-it's just...are you tired?"
"I'm not sure," L blinked as she poked at the dark circles around his eyes. "I haven't gotten very good sleep for a while."
"How long is 'a while'?"
"A few years," he said.
"That's a long time," Juri gazed, intrigued (and quite a bit disturbed) at how the dark bags didn't even bulge out anymore- it was like they were just set into his skin permanently. "Are you sure this is healthy...And that you're not stoned?"
"Yes."
"About which one?"
"The second one; I'm sure."
"How sure?"
"99.99%."
"So...just pretty sure, then. You really need to get some sleep," Juri told him, concern creeping into her voice. "I don't understand how you still function on what- five hours of sleep a night?"
"A week. Though I'm still a certified detective, so I'm sure that says something about either the correlation between sleep deprivation and intuition, or just me."
"Just you," Akamine agreed tenderly. Then she blinked. "Wait- detective?"
His phone buzzed, and Ryuzaki fished it out of his pocket, flipped it open, and held it delicately between two fingers.
"L, here. Of course, Matsuda-san. Soon."
He hung up and got up, hands back in his pockets. "Well, today-"
"L?" Juri asked incredulously.
Ryuza- uh...L- shrugged noncommittally, like, what about it?
"...L," she continued slowly. "Like, the Sacramento BB murder case, L."
"It was Los Angeles. But I'll see you next week."
"So...your name's not Ryuzaki."
L shuffled around to peer at her, and he didn't look stoned, just tired. "Is your name really Izumi Juria?"
"...I'll see you next week, then. L."
Ironically, for two honest people, their relationship wasn't particularly truthful.
True, L had a good reason to hide his name; one of the single-most impressive detectives of the world, who solved countless mysteries and specialized in finding missing people. And true, she hadn't given her name for security reasons: no one really knew who to trust these days. But Akamine still couldn't wrap her head around it. How could such a wide-eyed, innocent-seeming, quirky boy be L?
It didn't make sense to her- her, the girl who could read people like novels. Juri was a forensics major, for Pete's sake, and that coupled with her natural ease to empathize with others, she uncovered her rare ability to make confusing things make sense.
So, this made.
No sense.
Her hands pressed down harder on her temples. Was Ryuzaki just fooling with her? No...he didn't seem like someone who did that- then again, he didn't seem like someone who could be L!
"Are you coming to dinner or just going to stare at that blank sheet all night?" Sayuri asked Juri, a bit irritated, a bit frightened by her roommate's out-of-character silence.
These thoughts ceaselessly buzzed around her head...Akamine couldn't focus on her essay for linear algebra, let alone think about something trivial like dinner.
"It's that guy, isn't it?" Houshigawa asked suddenly. "Are you in love? My God, answer me, Akamine."
Juri gave up, throwing her hands up and tilting her head back on the chair to peer at Sayuri upside-down.
"You're silly," she said humorlessly. "Of course not."
"Then what has you so bugged?" Sayuri leaned against her bed frame. "You know, Light was wondering why you totally blew him off yesterday; I told him you had to study, lucky for you."
Juri rubbed her forehead. "Thanks." She threw down her pencil, got up, and stretched. "I've been trying to figure something out for a while now about Ryuzaki-san."
"Is he secretly a serial killer?"
Akamine gave her an incredulous look, like, how'd you know? "Actually just the opposite. He catches serial killers. And other criminals."
"Hm." Houshigawa crossed her arms over her loose sweater, unimpressed. "Is he a forensics major like you?"
"Oh...well," Juri bided her time buttoning up her blue knit boots. "Trippy thing is, he's already graduated, I think."
"What? That's wack!" her roommate exclaimed. "His age isn't the trippy thing- it's that you're seeing him!"
Akamine frowned, shrugging on her trench coat. "Maybe so. Not really, though. He doesn't seem so much older than me."
"Um, yes," Sayuri assured her, messy blonde hair curling out of her short braid as she leaned forward. "That's pretty wack. He's like, at least four years older than you! It's crazy- what would Light say?"
"He'd say I'm free to do as I wish," Juri sniffed. She fished her black gloves out of her pocket and slipped them on. "Yagami-kun has absolutely zero interest in me. I can't talk to him like I can with Ryuzaki-san. I'm not even sure why Light asked me out in the first place."
"He probably thought he liked you," Sayuri shrugged, considerably calmer. "If you don't know, you're kind of a likeable person."
Juri let her believe what she wanted. Some people thought she was kind, others just adored her good-looks. What Akamine believed was that compared to everyone else, she was glaringly average. Pretty, not particularly striking average looks. Hair in between auburn and mahogany, like it couldn't decide. Average grades and personality and talents.
Juri glanced up and raised an amused eyebrow. "You mean right now after that whole wack conversation?"
Houshigawa rolled her green eyes. "Where're you going anyway?"
Sayuri didn't have to be a forensics major to see Akamine purposefully avoiding her gaze.
"You're meeting up with him again, aren't you?"
"It's not a thing. I promise, Sayuri-chan. And if it bugs you so much, I'll ask how old he is tonight. Besides," Juri sighed. "It's not like I can go out with Light- he blew me off again."
"Maybe he's pissed off at you," Houshigawa offered half-heartedly, kicking off her shoes and collapsing in bed. "Maybe he's playing hard-to-get."
"Maybe," Juri shrugged. Light had told her this morning that he wouldn't be able to make it tonight, and his hand had automatically touched that same place in his jacket again. Sometimes when he sat the right way, Juri could make out the outline of a rectangle where a jacket would have an inside pocket. A secret book? Maybe he was looking at inappropriate magazines or something.
"See you later, Sayuri-chan," Akamine called. "Want me to get the lights?"
"There's only one Light you should worry about," Houshigawa responded.
"Goodbye."
No, she didn't have to worry about Yamagi, Juri decided as she closed the door. People like Light didn't change- they just took everything in stride.
It was barely drizzling when Juri hailed a cab to the café Ryuza- L- had suggested. By the time she exited, it was pouring. She paid the driver, turned up her collar, and made for the lit sign bleeding the watery words Aiko's Deli and Bakery.
Fifteen seconds in the rain and sopping wet, Akamine coughed, the door jingling as she pushed it open with her shoulder. The place was warm, thankfully. A number of small tables were pushed near the windows, and a glass case with pastries and salads inside shone brightly. There were maybe a dozen people, quietly chattering like the rain.
The hostess came up- a thirty-something lady with wispy blonde hair knotted into a loose bun and smoothing over her red apron. "May I help you?" she asked politely.
"No thank you, I'm just meeting a friend," Akamine brushed back her long, oaky hair, hoping she didn't look like a wet cat.
The lady smiled knowingly. "Of course, a pretty, young lady like yourself would be waiting for a nice boy."
"Oh, there he is!"
L lifted his hand from where he crouched near the window.
"Oh my," the hostess murmured, but Juri didn't hear, because she had already marched over and engaged L in one of the good-natured but still slightly painful headlocks she'd delivered sometimes to Senri.
"...And thanks for letting me buy you all that food, Mr. Famous Genius Detective-san," Akamine finished, before releasing him and collapsing into the seat. "I'm hungry. Are you hungry?"
She peered diligently at the menu.
"..."
L hadn't expected things to go down like a soap opera, but he hadn't thought she'd be so...so...
...okay with it either.
"Anyway, I assume you've been here before. Ooh, this looks good. Wines? Have you tried wine before? Have you been here before? It's quite quaint. The carpets are very soft...but maybe that's my soggy boots. Hm...We should come here more often- I haven't eaten anything, but it smells really good in here. I wonder if we can get something in those little paper take-out boxes. I love a good paper take-out box-"
"...Are you okay?"
She peered at him strangely, like he should know her what she was thinking. "I'm babbling, L. People like me don't babble unless they're stressed. And I think by that, you can deduce that I'm stressed out, Mr. L."
Ryuzaki decided this was one of those rare times it was favorable to feign ignorance.
"...Is it...exams?"
"No, I just realized one of my friends held back a very large part of themselves."
"...I'm hungry. Are you hungry?"
"Something tells me you're bad with feelings," Juri said dryly but in good humor. It already hard for Juri to stay angry at someone, especially if they didn't feed the flame by defending themselves. And then even more so when it was L, who met everything with a placid stare.
He shrugged.
Exactly. Point proven.
They talked about comfortable nothing until the waiter came. Akamine ordered herself a bowl of soup, and L got what he always had: dessert. This time, it was two slices of cheesecake, and Juri knew better than to assume one of them was for her.
Looking at his untied shoes (he'd worn shoes today in honor of the rain), it struck her as uneasy how little she really knew about him. All she knew about him was what she'd searched up on the internet and watched on TV (it was curiosity, not creeping). The whole world was under the impression that L was a middle-aged genius who chose to keep his identity a secret. Heck, there were fanbases and fanfictions written about L. What kind of people even did that?
Ryuzaki was halfway through the first cheesecake when she dropped her spoon and fired a question before he could even think. "L, how old are you?"
"Twenty-two," he didn't hesitate to answer, cutting the soft cake neatly and folding it onto his fork.
That's reassuring.
"Where were you born?"
"...Moscow."
"Hobbies?"
"...Figuring out difficult cases."
"Favorite color?"
"...Dark blue..."
"Catchphrases?"
"Is Izumi-chan interrogating me?"
Juri picked up her spoon and swirled bits of carrots and broth around. "...Yes. You're a curious person, and I want to know you better. Plus, after you lied to me, I feel like you owe me a bit of intell."
"Then it's only my fair I get to say too," L said. "What are you majoring in?"
"Forensic sciences. I want to be a psychological profiler."
"Why?"
"Because I can understand people pretty well." She paused. "And I've always wanted to make a difference, but I could never be a politician," Juri laughed.
L peered at her curiously.
"It's just so much..." she struggled to find a better word, but sighed. "...politics."
Obviously.
"Izumi-chan-"
"-it's actually Akamine."
"Akamine-san-"
"-chan is fine."
"Akamine-chan's reasoning is rather close to mine," he said in that flat voice of his. "My job as a detective has brought me to change the lives of many people by finding criminals. Sometimes I have to think about what the suspects are thinking of doing to do that."
"That's fascinating."
"..."
"It really is!" Juri rested her forearms and leaned in. "We've always been lectured on data and numbers and facts associated with specific instances. Like, statistically, 90% of abducted victims are children. And if the child is a toddler or infant, the abductor is almost always a woman. So, we'd send a report to find a woman, probably single, in her late thirties to early fifties. But then, we would have to infer using our own emotions and insights to conclude that this woman probably either lost a young child or never had one, and have our analysts find such a woman on the databases."
"Strange," he murmured, starting on his second piece. "I do something similar."
Juri nodded, but bit her lip. Something had been bugging her for a while now.
"You keep saying 'I'. I thought you'd have a team or...something."
"Yes, that is correct."
She took to stirring her soup again and drummed her fingers against the table.
From what Akamine found (from her night of diligent internet studying), L usually worked alone. So his team was most likely formed in Japan to study some important mystery, because L didn't accept many cases unless they interested him. The only viable explanation was that Ryuzaki was here to investigate Kira- it also explained why, on that first day, he'd been so adamant on hearing her opinion about him.
So what was her part in this plan? Genius detectives didn't really have the time to have lunch (well, in his case, dessert) with a student in a little bakery/deli.
"What do you want with me?" Juri asked, a tad bit unkindly. "You're obviously very busy with the..." she dropped her voice. "Kira case. And I'd assume your 'team' wouldn't be too fond of you leaving the investigation to meet with a little forensics major? So tell me: what do they think you're doing right now?"
L's overall face didn't seem innately surprised, but he widened his eyes a bit.
"Meeting you."
"What does that accomplish?"
She needed to know. Juri wasn't and had never been...expecting anything from him, or something like that. These meetings had been fun- she had never thought of them as dates- but had he been lying about wanting to meet her for fun? Did he have some ulterior motive? Subconsciously, Akamine was putting her hopes on a string, just waiting for him to cut it. When would he cut it?
"Light Yagami," L said.
Ah. There it was.
Snip.
"What about Light?" Suddenly, it all made sense: his questioning her that first day, Yagami-sama's asking for his son's advice, why Light was 'studying' so much over the weekends and in his spare time.
"He and his father- they both are in your team." She leaned in, eyes wide. "I heard the police stopped investigating the Kira case, and I thought it strange someone as headstrong as Yagami-sama would quit so easily...But he did quit- only it was the police force. Am I right so far?"
"...Yes, you are correct."
"And you don't trust Light, which means you suspect him to be someone who may be on the opposing side. You're not afraid of the police because you're working this case privately, and you're not afraid of the public, because they don't know who you are. So...the only person who truly opposes you is..."
"...Kira," he finished.
"Who you think- oh, Light..."
The rain pounded down on the windows outside. The sky was already almost dark, and the light of taxi cabs flashed and disappeared around the corner. And, just as appropriately, there was a rumble of thunder.
"...So what can I do?" she asked L, her kind face he'd grown to expect a smile from suddenly grim.
Ryuzaki thought for a moment.
"You need to kill Light Yagami."
At that, Juri paled.
She had hoped capturing Kira wouldn't necessarily mean killing him. And what's more, she hoped killing Kira wouldn't involve her.
Stop saying Kira, Akamine reminded herself. Ryuzaki's stare on her was deafening in its volume. So instead of giving him an answer, she crossed her arms again.
"Show me evidence."
Juri could've been mistaken, but L's mouth might've lifted into the ghost of a smile.
"That's the plan," he blinked, unfolding his legs and standing up.
Juri followed, fingers tapping restlessly on her leg like she always did when thinking. "That was a test. You wanted to know you could trust me, so you tested me."
"..." Her clear blue eyes were less soft now, he realized, and more strong. They were the defiant eyes he saw on everyone else on the team...
...except for Light Yagami.
That was a small reason behind why L still distrusted Light. His eyes were impatient and malicious. They voiced things no eyes should say and no heart should desire.
"Yes," L agreed. "That is correct. It was a test."
"Then do you trust me now?" she asked.
That defiance lined every pixel of her sky blue eyes, and L did; he trusted her.
"I'm almost positive," he lied.
"Well, be positive," Akamine responded forcefully, putting a loose fist on his chest to make sure he was listening. L blinked at her- Juri ignored him. Her mahogany hair poured like hot tea down her shoulders. "Let me help you," she said, unclenching her hand and placing it flat over his heart.
"I want to find the person who killed my brother."
What is this alluding to? What are the circumstances around Juri's brother's death? Why do I ask all these questions that I know the answer to?!
Credits to Sara Barielles' song "Bluebird". I like to post the lyrics of songs that inspire me, and they'll vary the next few chapters :)
Please review? As an author and reader, I know I love to read reviews :) And especially if you didn't like my story, I'd be open to hear why (just...no cussing, okay? All you potty-mouths. Yeah, you.)
Comments to Comments
AnonimaKim: Thank you for being patient with me...I'm still getting all my crap together. And Italian is a beautiful language (like German. German is absolutely beautiful to listen too...and that's not sarcasm!) I'm happy I have a loyal reader; it means a lot to me as a writer :)
WolfKeeper101: Thanks! Haha, yeah, the inspiration for this story started as something like: "Oh hoho...L's social skills are kinda bad." I'm a sucker for a romance fanfic, and I didn't want a girl who changed him, but someone who accepted him :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Anarchipluvian Tears: Thanks for the review, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!
Misstorygirl: Yeah, she's one of my favorite singers :) You're too sweet! And I really didn't want to pair up L with his 'female counterpart' (genius girl with large appetite for sweets), because I feel like people already did that well. Next chapter has LxJuri, I promise. And thanks for being such a loyal reader :D You're input means a lot to me!
Guest(s): Thanks for taking the time to review :) It means a lot to me when you guys read (an actually enjoy) my writing.
