LOL. I really wanted to update the second part. Because I just couldn't leave it here. Just know you'll find extreme OOC Byakuya, Renji, Ichigo, Rukia, ETC.

Oh! BTW I wanted to tell you that Laiba (the other owner of this account) didn't read this...so it'll be a surprise to her too.


"Renji," came Byakuya's cool voice form the other end. The 6th Squad Captain now had the 12th Squad Captain in a headlock. He had heard what Rukia had said. "Give me the phone to my sister."

Renji's bloodshot eyes went wider as he handed the phone to Ichigo's fiancée. Rukia tried to gulp the lump in throat, knowing that something bad was supposed to happen.

"Ni-nii-sama," she said hesitantly. "H-how are you?"

She paused to feel his wrath.

"Rukia…"the Kuchiki head started, sounding eerily calm. "Congratulations."

Rukia sighed in relief. All the worry disappeared from her. Renji looked up in surprised. The Captain agreed to it?

"Byakuya nii-sama, ari—"

"LIKE HELL I'LL EVER SAY THAT!" Byakuya finally exploded. All his anger though, went to his fellow Captain Mayuri who was now being choked by him. How DARE that peasant propose to her?! In fact, he should be grateful he even got to look at her!

Rukia paled. "Nii-sama—" she whimpered.

"WHERE THE HELL IS THAT BASTARD?! I NEED TO GET MY HANDS AROUND HIS GRIMY LITTLE THROAT AND—"

"Ku-Kuchiki Taichou," Mayuri croaked. His face paint was now peeling off due to the extreme heat of his blood spreading across his face. "You're hands are around my throat though…"

"URUSAI!" Byakuya bellowed at the man. "WHO ASKED YOU?!"

In frustration, he leapt up, releasing Kurotsuchi from his hold (who sighed in relief and shunpoed away as fast as he could), and tore out his kensaikan.

"Nii-nii-" Rukia could hear the awful noise of what resembled plastic hair curlers being throw on the floor. What on earth was happening? Ichigo, she though on impulse. Turning around swiftly, she looked at her boyfriend-turned-fiancé.

….Or so she thought. Because all she saw was Renji who looked back at her with an equal amount of surprise.

"Where's Ichigo?" She asked the blushing red haired Fuku-Taichou.

She-she's looking at….ME! Renji thought furiously. With a dazed look on his face, he answered, "He told me not to tell you but…he ran away."

This took a while for Rukia to consume.

"What did you say?"Byakuya, who Renji had always thought as scary, shouldn't be compared to her. Her aura darkened and her violet eyes glowed. Instantly her sword came to her hand, and she charged him.

"ABARAI RENJI! I WILL KILL YOU FOR NOT STOPPING THAT PIECE OF—"

Without a thought, Renji threw up his hands to shield himself from her wrath.

"Renji…"Her voice became quieter. Renji heard the clattering of a sword. Hesitantly, he opened his eyes.

"That…is…so…KAWAII!" She squealed. Her hands on her cheeks, Rukia smiled and jumped up and down. Renji looked down at disbelief at the…

…Chappy.

Kuchiki Rukia of the noble house of Kuchiki was squealing at something Renji had drawn on his hands.

"OMG! OMG!" Rukia screamed. She bent down to his hands and looked at them with expectation.

"Is that…a red haired Chappy? OMG and there's a black haired one with funny hair! Like me!" She looked up at him with a different light.

"Yeah…I even made a orange haired Chappy," he said with a smile stretching across his face. He pointed to an orange haired bunny being killed with a bloody katana while the other bunnies "embraced" (we all know what that means right?)

Mwahaha, Renji thought evilly. Common interests always win.

"You know, if Ichigo hadn't asked me first I would've married you. Chappy people are better than orange happy people, right?" Rukia said with a wistful look on her face.

Renji registered what she said. Rukia registered what she said.

Looking at each other, brown eyes staring into the violet, they made a new arrangement. And so they knew what to do now…

Meanwhile…

"WHERE ARE YOU, YOU BLOODY KUROSAKI?!" Byakuya barged into the Kurosaki residence. His Senbonzakura was in his right hand, and he raked through his (new) kensaikan with his left. He was POSITIVE the bloody fool's reiatsu was here.

"Yo, Bya-boy!" a familiar voice to the Captain reached his ears. In disbelief he turned to face the smiling Isshin Kurosaki. "You're always welcome to use to door, you know." He looked at the hole in the wall and laughed merrily. "Well, who cares? I'll use 10000 yen and repair it later!"

He could be useful… Byakuya thought. Although he was an idiot, Isshin was pretty powerful. But why was he here?

"It's my house," the older man voiced an answer to his thoughts. "Remember? I'm ISSHIN KUROSAKI," he pointed to the sign saying his name. "Now how can I help my favorite underling?"

All it took was one word. Or two. "Your son."

"Ichigo? What did he do? You want me to call him down?"

"…he proposed to my sister, Rukia."

Isshin scratched his head. "Rukia? Oh, you mean that black haired girl who slept at our house a couple of times!"

Byakuya's eyes widened. HOW DARE HE! "Just tell me where he is and I'll be on my way."

Isshin eyed him, and took one look at the hole in the wall. "Do what ever you want if you can fix the wall."

Byakuya deadpanned. "Deal."

ONE MONTH LATER…

Dear Ichigo,

How are you? Sorry I left so suddenly, but you weren't so important to me. No, it wasn't nii-sama. Since he hasn't come back yet, I can tell you aren't dead yet, right? Well, whatever! I'm honeymooning on nii-sama's private island (well, all I said was I needed to use it!) with my new husband, Renji. You will not believe how many bunnies there are! In fact, Renji and I are now dressing them up in cute little human clothes! We got engaged right after you ran away. Seems like Renji likes Chappy too (unlike you -.-) I lost your ring though…not like I'll be needing it anyway! When nii-sama catches you please don't say anything!

Your ex-fiancée, Rukia Abarai

Ichigo's hands quivered. This is what the love of his life did to him.

He shivered. For one month he'd been running across the world trying to get away from Byakuya's Senbonzakura. Everyday, the petals would follow him. One night, he hopped on a plane and ran away to Antarctica, thinking it'll be easier there. But not even halfway across the ocean. The petals got to him and pretty much destroyed even the entire island below them.

He scratched his week old beard and sighed into the darkness. A cave was now his shelter of the day. He wondered how long he'll live there. Before the place collapsed.

"What a nice letter you have there."

Ichigo jumped two feet in the air in alarm. Behind him was the stalking Taichou of the Gotei 13. He knew this was his end.

"I…realy liked your Wakame Ambassador costume."

"Flattery will get you no where."

"I… always wanted to eat one of your koi, since Yachiru said they were really good."

"Like I'd ever let you touch Kuchiki soil again."

"I…stole your Angry Birds swimming trunks."

Silence. Byakuya looked at the man standing before him quivering with fear.

"…Don't worry I never liked them anyway." He said slowly. "But don't tell Rukia!" Byakuya shaked his head, as he went into bankai mode. "Wait, you'll never be able to tell Rukia, right?"

And so….Ichigo…


*gasp* What will Ichigo do?

:P Sorry I needed to do something there. Since I didn't type up what he does...so tell me-should he live or die?

AND...Sorry to all IchiRuki fans, for not letting them get married (I'm pro IchiRuki but I LOVE making crack fanfics too, and this seemed very random)

I'll update after 3-4 reviews...because no one reviews :/ but after you do, I promise you'll get a chapter x-o

~Sabby