Disclaimer: I disclaim everything before, after, and in between this disclaimer.

So I've thought about it. …And thought. And thought. Lily Evans, newest Socrates! Am I just too busy having fun to pay attention to Potter's feelings?

Hold that thought.

Nope- he likes attention and demands I pay it to him. Potter, from henceforth onward, I, Lily Evans, brilliant, witty and charismatic redhead known to those who know me as Lily Evans, refuse to pay any more attention tribute! There! But maybe I might ask my friends… the little gossip mongrels themselves. Silly girls.

I've just realized that Potter still has heart shaped rashes all over his face and arms. Wow. What a mastermind job, Lily. Wait a second, he's looking at me. Potter, I haven't believed it when you told me there was something on my face since the second day of first year. Take that. Lily Evans, Master detector of deception! And now we've just looked at each other and started laughing. Giggles and chuckles! Ah, at last, the hospital wing! Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty I'm…

Madam Pomfrey's pretty ticked. Hee hee. Apparently that's the fourth time he's been in the hospital wing this week. Honestly, Potter, you should watch out for these things- maybe you need glasses! A fine pair of spectacles for you, dear sir? But maybe wizards can correct their eyesight and the only wizards who need glasses are those who spend ten years of their lives in a small broom cupboard under a set of stairs or something odd like that. Like at Quidditch games, he says he can't see the bludgers because he's "too busy watching everything else." Alice claims "everything else" is James-speak for "Lily Evans, Best Quidditch Fan in the Stands!" But really, how deceived can the addle-brained girl be? She's drank one too many of her own class-made potions, that silly girl has. Everyone knows Potter's captain and has to be watching everyone else. Plus, he talks to so many other girls…

Why does Potter do these things? Potter, you fleabag, you always ruin the good moments and should promptly go jumping off a large swinging bridge in Siberia! If they even have swinging bridges in Siberia… We were having a dandy time counting the hearts on his face and arms- he even took his shirt off and I can't quite say I minded… Lily Evans, Scout Master! Then he kept on joking about how all his hearts belonged to me, because I had made them in the first place. Well duh, of course I made them, it was MY firework that exploded his potion, heehee!

Then, the sad, lame excuse for a womanizer places his hand on his chest and declares loudly and melodramatically (I can just hear the fat lady waiting behind him to warm up for her solo) "and this one, too." Really, does this sunny Jim not have the slightest idea how to woo the fair lady's heart? Apparent sincerity goes a long way… WHY does he always have to do that? But still, he makes it so hard for me to remember he'll just play-and ditch if I did go out with him when he fakes that stupid cheesy grin. Potter, if you give me any more cheese, it's going to fall right off your crackers, and that won't be too tasty, will it? All the same, I had to get away before I started snogging the hearts right off his stupid old spotted face. Back away, Lily… good, good. Lily Evans, Master of Self Discipline! With one exertion of mental willpower, I can leap tall buildings in a single bound AND back away from very-snoggable looking heartbreakers. Ten points for Lily!

Ah, blasts, the bloody tosser is looking disappointed that I am slowly backing away from him like he's Voldemort on a sugar high and even more so that I haven't responded to his stupid, sappy little comment. Potter, if you gave me any more sap, your maple tree would expire on the spot. But I do so hate disappointed and hurt looking people, particularly very fanciable ones… Aaaaah, bloody hell, Potter better thank my bleeding heart. I'll be kind to him… after I save the poor starving orphan muggles… they deserve it much more than him anyway… Steady there, Lily, approach with caution…

Potter, the salvation from the apocalypse isn't here yet, you needn't suddenly look so hopeful… Lily, why are you surrounded by freaks? Just a small kiss on the cheek, that's the ticket, a little pick-me-up for Potter the depressed, that's me, Lily Evans, Human Prozac! Say, judging by the indication of his face, Potter has gotten more than just a little pick-me-up from the incident, as a matter of fact, I think the incident seems to have completely vaporized his brain into a thousand tiny pieces, as he has a completely dazed expression on his face. Potter, why must you constantly overreact? Oh dear, brain sensors on red alert. He's coming back onto me! Mayday, Lily! Flee for your life! Beep beep beep beep…

Oh dear, why on earth must Potter be so very speedy? He's caught me and… well, if I get a snog like this every time I must say my brain sensors must go on red alert much more often… Wait a second! Back up the bus! Did I say snog? Oh, Merlin's Beard, I really must flee now.

Potter looks pretty taken aback- at least from what I could see as I fled from the hospital wing. He still has those little red hearts- only now they're about the same shade as the rest of his face. Oh, Potter, you little lame duckbrain, you're just trying to confuse me. And I must say, it is working out quite nicely! But now that I'm on to your little plot, no more I say! Lily Evans, Master of Her Own Confusion!

Blimey, what am I saying? For all my own notes to self: self, don't give in to Potter, I am quite unsuccessful. Bloody hell- the fat's really on the fire now and I've just been thrown into the frying pan- better get out before I'm deep fried. Potter had better prove that he really likes me, or, as I said before, he'd better drag me kicking and screaming to the Giant Squid.