Note: I got this idea after a recent trip to a comic con where next to the Sherlock DVDs they had comic movie parody porn. And one disk was about the Avengers. So this is how I think they may react to it. Sorry if they seem OOC. This is my first time writing all of them.
Prompt: What if the Avengers found some of the work their fans put out? What if it was a porn tape?
"You all won't believe what I found." Came a laughing Tony as he went and burst into the lounge. The Avengers and Vanessa all looked at him from their respective activities with mild interest.
"What did you find? Another ceiling mirror for your bedroom?" said Vanessa who went back to her magazine as she sat legs crossed on the couch.
Tony plopped next to her and put an arm around her shoulders to pull her close.
"Oh my funny intern if you only knew. Hell I wish I did find another mirror but this is better!"
Tony lifted up a DVD case just as Clint snatched it from his hand flipping it front to back.
"What is it? A documentary about you?" Clint chuckled as he stopped and read the cover.
Suddenly, his chuckling stopped and his face contoured to a frown. He then turned to Tony who jumped up and snatched the DVD back.
"That can't be real Stark." He said voice deadpan.
Tony just grinned and flipped the package in the air, "Oh it's real and we are gonna watch it."
Vanessa threw her magazine on the couch and shot Tony an annoyed look, "Oh for God's sake what the hell is it Tony?" Her boss always agitated her when he played guessing games like this.
"This, my friends," he said holding up the case for everyone to see. "is porn."
Steve nearly choked on his drink, Bruce blushed some, Clint remained silent, Vanessa frowned, Natasha was not that surprised (almost as if she had been waiting for the day Tony suggested a group porn watching), Tony smiled, and Thor just sat in his chair asleep.
"What the hell Stark?!" yelled Vanessa as she walked up to Tony. "We aren't watching porn!"
"But, it's not just regular porn. It's a porn movie about us."
"What?" she said as she took the DVD from his hands.
Sure enough on the cover where porn stars dressed up as them with the title "The Avengers: XXX Heroes" in bright red print.
Vanessa stared at the actors on the cover and soon found the one representing her. The woman was the same caramel complexion, had the same glasses, and had the same straight black hair. Only her breast where larger, her suit jacket too small, her skirt to short, and she had her right leg over the actor playing Tony, who was fully dressed in his Ironman suit.
Vanessa then saw another woman dressed in her Vertigo costume and wondered how the hell could she be in two places at once. Then she remembered. She realized that the public knew her as Tony Stark's intern first and that they really didn't know of her greater role as an in-training hero at S.H.E.I.L.D, since her face was covered during the Loki incident. As far as the public was concerned Vertigo was a whole different person.
Just as she finished her analysis Tony snatched the case and took out the DVD and popped it into the player.
"Stark I don't want to see this." Said Steve who was standing at the bar when Tony first walked in. He didn't have a drink then but after the news he quickly poured him some scotch.
"You shouldn't have even brought something like this in the presence of ladies."
Tony shrugged at Steve, "Stop being old fashioned, besides this could be fun!"
Bruce, who was sitting next to Steve, had taken off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, "I don't think I want to sit around for this."
Natasha went and sat next to Vanessa, who reclaimed her spot, on the couch. "I wanna see now." Said Vanessa who sat with legs and arms crossed with her lips pursed. "I want to see if they made me and my split personality into whores."
Tony sat next to his intern and laughed. "Of course they made you into a whore, its porn!"
His comment earned him a cold glare from Vanessa as Natasha just sighed. She hated to admit it but she was curious too to see how they made her look in this movie. Granted it was porn but she hoped they at lease showed she was smart.
Clint sighed and sat next to Steve and Bruce as Tony called for JARVIS to start up the movie.
The start of the movie opened up with a Loki look a like plotting another 'Take-Over-The-World' scheme. This time however he decided to go undercover at A.R.M.O.R. to learn the weaknesses of each Avenger, to have a better chance at fighting them. Through the first 50 minute of the film just about every character had sex with each other. Hawkeye with Black Widow, Black Widow, Vertigo and Bruce in some sort of strange threesome, Vertigo and still disguised Loki, Captain and a A.R.M.O.R. agent, Captain and Black Widow, Thor and the same A.R.M.O.R. agent (who they all thought was almost a female version of Coulson), Ironman and Vertigo Ironman and Black Widow and a few other pairings.
"We haven't even hit the middle yet and I think they've just about screwed everyone on board the damn ship." Said Clint who was munching on popcorn after leaving to get refreshments. Up to a certain point the movie just got too campy for him, even for porn.
"Hey, I don't really sound like that do I?" Steve whispered to Bruce after the Captain in the film used the words "shucks", "dame", and a few other phrases that just sounded corny in every sentence he used.
"Not…ALL the time." Said Bruce. "But you really can't help that. They have bad script writing to blame for him." He said pointing to the screen.
Steve just put his hands over his face and sighed muttering something about being corny and how he couldn't help it.
As Vanessa sat she started to become anxious. She wondered if they actually put her in this snuff film or if she was just to be on the cover as a teaser. She almost felt disappointed at the fact her only representation was a whore version of her superhero self.
"Hey everyone shut up I'm next!" cried Tony as the fake Iron Man walked on the screen down a long hallway.
Iron Man sighed as he leaned on a wall reading through notes. "I don't know what to do with this data. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm stuck."
"I can help." Came a voice as Iron Man looked up to see Vanessa's intern character peering over her glasses at him.
She sauntered over and led him into an open lab as they began some useless research. As they did the obvious sexual tension built up so much Vanessa was sure she could feel it though the TV. As Nessa, the name they called her look a like, (and at this name Vanessa cringed because only Tony called her by that and it gave this part of the movie some sort of sick alternate reality look) leaned on the counter Iron Man quickly snuck around her and pressed into her back, pressing her forward on the counter.
"Thanks Nessa for your help."
"No problem, I'm here to help with anything."
"Anything?" he said as he pushed forward towards her and she let out a moan.
And just after that sentence a heated make out session started between the two as Nessa then got down on her knees and unzipped Iron Man's pants. "Mr. Stark I've always wanted to suck your big, fat, cock. Can I, please?"
Tony sat there giggling to himself as he glanced over at Vanessa. Her face contorted from a look of boredom at the start to anger to just utter disbelief. Her anger and embarrassment clearly shown from how red her face had gotten.
"Well Vanessa, as flattered as I am, I don't think that would be appropriate. Well, not with everyone here, unless you're into that." Said Tony as he looked at her.
"Shut the hell up!" Vanessa retorted as she shoved him away from her.
After the sex scene between Nessa and Iron Man, Loki came in still posing as an agent. He then took out his scepter and placed it on Nessa's chest going on about creating more minions and making an army. And soon enough she was under his power and under his body as they had sex on the lab floor.
Vanessa put her face in her hands. "They made me the one to fuck Loki. I will kill whoever made this movie."
"Who was better though me or him? I know it was me but just for clarification." Said Tony as he looked at his disgruntled intern. "Also, just curious can you move your leg like that? Cuz that would be really awesome if you could. I really didn't even know a leg could move that way."
The movie ended with Loki being defeated and the team celebrating with a huge orgy, as Tony yelled out that that should had happened after the real battle with Loki and what a fool he was to suggest shawarma. But quickly dismissed the idea when he realized that meant he would have to see Fury nude.
