"Skating- It's the feeling you get at the end of a hard practice when you pushed yourself to the limit, the way the ice feels when you get back on it after a few weeks off. It's a part of your identity, something you love and something you hate. A bond that no one else really understands, but that's okay, because every time you get out on the ice it isn't just you, it's all the friends and coaches over the years, all the practices, all the sweat, all the pain, all the tears, all the memories, all the laughter, all the 'off' competitions, all the lifetime bests, and all the road trips. As individual as it may seem, skating is really a team sport, and even still, it's more than just a sport. It's a way of life."
(Anonymous.)
I used to love it. Skating that is. It was something I longed to do everyday. Skating came naturally to me. That made me like it even more. Skating was all about fun for me. Sure I loved winning, and the attention that came with it, but the best thing about skating was that it made me forget about life's aches and disappointments. Then one day my mother heard of a boy was looking for a pair skating partner. She talked me into trying out, and lo and behold the next thing I knew, I was a pair skater with my current best friend Davis Andrews. We hit it off immediately. He made skating even better. I loved it, and I foolishly believed that nothing could change that.
Then our old coach decided to quit and we had to find a replacement that was top quality. Figure skating coaches are rare so we were excited to be taken on by world renowned Devon Mitchells. His interpretation of training was that it was work, not a means of having fun. I have seen a lot of tough coaches through out the years, and he was the toughest of them all. And he was mine. All he did was criticize and scream. He constantly told me and Davis that our skating was second rate. Praise was something that was never heard.
"That was terrible! Go do it another ten times!" Devon would yell.
"But Coach, that was the best we've ever done that!" I would reply disbelievingly.
"Yeah!" Davis chipped in, "We've never done it that good!"
"Not good enough! Don't you want to be the best?" He would yell back so intensely that the veins in his neck popped up, "Well you're not! So do it ten more times!"
Eventually, skating became something to dread. I was scared to face our new coach. I hated getting yelled at. I watched my self confidence slowly spiral down the drain; no matter how hard I tried hanging onto my hopes and dreams.
"Don't worry, Nadine. It will be better tomorrow." Davis would propose hopefully.
It never was. Our skating began to suffer. I would postpone going to the rink as much as I could. I started to get sick. I would get stomachaches all the time. I couldn't focus during school. I dreaded the mere mention of skating.
I hadn't told my parents how this was affecting me or my skating. They thought everything was great. After all Devon Mitchells was the best coach there was. At least that's what I was told.
My anxiety became so bad I started to contemplate skipping my sessions. I couldn't stand being there. I didn't care that I was letting others down. I hated skating now. Devon had taken the fun out of it. What was the point? The only reason he coached us was to get us to "Worlds" and the Olympics. He only cared about winning. And the medal couldn't be silver or bronze…it had to be gold.
One day it got so bad I decided to skip skating. So I'd miss a session or two. Would that really be a big deal? I mean I know that the Junior Nationals Competition was in a month, but I needed a break. I couldn't deal with this anymore.
I threw my skating bag over my shoulder and headed in the direction of the rink. My heart raced as I stopped in front of the sliding glass doors. Should I go in? Should I skip today? Everything stopped moving around me. It felt like a year was passing me by, but my watch's seconds hand moved at an agonizingly slow rate. I tried to take a step forward.
I couldn't…
I looked through the doors and saw Davis. He wasn't looking at me but he was close to the front doors. I made up my mind. Turning I quickly walked past the glass doors before Davis could catch sight of me. My skate bag felt heavier and heavier as I stepped farther away from the rink. I knew my coach would be angry at my absence but Davis would be even angrier…and disappointed in me as a friend. I sat down at a little café a couple of blocks away from the rink. It was one Davis and I had gone to countless times before. I ordered a vanilla latte and contemplated what I was going to do about skating. I could tell my parents, but they though Devon was wonderful. Davis already knew what was going on, but his eternal optimism allowed him to brush off Devon's abuse. He told me to stop taking Devon's words so personally.
I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear the footsteps that came up behind me and stopped. I almost screamed as Davis' angry voice spoke up behind me.
"Where the hell were you?!"
"I…uh…well…" I stammered, trying to come up with a logical excuse for skipping practice.
"Junior Nationals are in a month! You don't show up at practice so I figure maybe your sick. So I call your parents. They have no clue where you are! I go out looking for you and here you are! Just hanging around! Drinking coffee! You haven't been skating well lately! You need to practice! What were you thinking?!" Davis yelled. He was sounding just like our coach.
That was when I snapped. How dare he think that our skating bad was my entire fault. It was that stupid coach's. "Shut up! I can't stand it anymore! I can't stand him or you anymore! He's always criticizing and you're always defending him and saying it will get better. Well, guess what! It's not going to get better! It never will! So you know what? I quit! That's right! You can skate the pairs competition by yourself or find someone else!"
I had never been so angry and I had never been in such a heated argument with Davis before. I turned around to walk away and he grabbed my arm. Before I even realized what I was doing I whipped around and slapped the side of his face.
Time froze. Oh my God. What did I just do? He stared at me with pain in his eyes. I knew I had caused that pain… and it wasn't from me hitting him. His hand slipped from my arm.
"Davis…I am so sorry…I…it was an accident." Everything came out in a rush.
"No…just don't…" he said looking at me. "We're done."
And with that he turned and left. Tears trailed down my face as I watched him walk away. I ran home as fast as my legs could carry me. No! No! No! Davis was my best friend. I couldn't lose him over this. I cried myself to sleep trying to think of a way to make this better.
I went to skating the next day to try and make it up to him. He wouldn't talk to me or come near me at all.
"Look I don't care what's going on between the two of you…Just get to work!" Devon yelled.
So we started to skate. I knew he was still really angry. But I still tried to talk to him while we were working on our moves.
"Davis…I really am sorry…I was just so stressed." I stuttered through an apology. "I never meant to hurt you."
I wasn't paying attention and as we were going into a lift my hands slipped. I felt myself falling. My head hitting the ice. Everything went black.
"Oh thank God!" I heard Davis' voice say with obvious relief as my eyes fluttered open. He was the first thing I saw. He smiled and placed a kiss on my lips. "We thought you were really hurt."
I sat up slowly and hugged him. "I'm so sorry." I whispered.
"I know."
Devon walked up behind Davis. "Here put this on your head." He said handing me an ice pack. "Davis told me how my coaching was effecting you. Maybe that's true. I'll try to be more supportive from now on, but I still expect you to work your butts off. You're too good to let this opportunity slip away."
I smiled at him. "Thanks."
"Well I think you both deserve a break." Devon said with a smile. "How about some coffee? Davis tells me that you know a good little coffee shop in this area."
After that everything became better. Slowly our skating got better, and so did Devon's coaching. He was more supportive and didn't yell… well, not so much as before.
Davis and I did end up going to the Junior Nationals and we placed 2nd. It was great. We weren't disappointed because now everything was so much better. The best part… well that would be that I loved to skate once more.
