There are quite an amount of distortions in this world, and to Kageyama, the view on sentiment of 'love' would be one of them. From what he heard, this emotion often came in various forms, and the enjoyment derived from it depends solely on individuals and each to their own. Now, mind youー Kageyama was no stranger to love, but he used to be familiar with it. The sensation kindled in him an endearment, and for that, he often hold no hesitation in having his cherish for others to be shown. At least, that was back then when he was a child.
Back then, Kageyama was blessed to encounter the different but essential forms of love. Parental love, friendship. Until most of that faded away from him.
During the prime time of his youthful days, not a second goes by without his parents showering him with admiration and adoration glinting in the blink of their eyes. He was pampered, lest to say. Until one day, their admiration came to a stop and so did the pampering. Who knows what could be the truth behind that one time? Kageyama was merely a child back then, however, he was quite alert for his age. He remembered how well his mother had perched by the counter in kitchen with strangled, muffled noises escaping from her throat, how the clouds in the sky cried for her, and how soft the texture of his father's shirt was as he managed to grab a fistful of the fabric; the question at the tip of his tongue as he helplessly watched the man leaving the house with a handful of bags.
Kageyama always thought that he'd come back. That is, until, Kageyama came to learn of the inevitable truth; his father, the man who showered him with adoration suddenly decided to leave them without any explanation. Upon knowing that his father left them and never to return, he was forced to be reckoned with a predicament. And on that day, Kageyama had his first taste of betrayal.
By then, the house ruptured into a frequent state of silence as his mother rarely came around in the house. Kageyama understood, of course, with his father gone, someone had to pay for their living. His mother often made sure to settle for his school fees throughout the years, and every now and then, she'd leave behind an envelope consisted of money for him due to the fact that she couldn't be there much. In spite of everything to the contrary of this reassuring gesture and his mother's unwavering love, it wasn't able to prevent loneliness from crawling in.
As if that wasn't enough, his good friends in primary school too shied away from him. He first thought that it might be due to a different reason, but alas, after several attempts of coming along with them, he was given a cold, harsh truth when they no longer requested him to join in the things they'd usually do. That was the second time Kageyama tasted betrayal.
Ever since then, Kageyama was often left to be alone.
Alone, he grew up alone in a vast, empty home. Alone, he was left to sit at his desk most of the time whilst his other classmates played among themselves.
And here, it marks the beginning of his change.
His once heartwarming personality became thwarted, and thin walls were then built around his heart. Both the betrayal of a loving parent and friends led Kageyama to think that he no longer needed to become close to anyone else. He, himself, and along with his mother, should be enough.
One day, Kageyama stumbled upon an open court nearby his home, and there he found two teams playing against each other. They seemed to be from a middle school, and according to the name of the school printed on their shirts, it was Kitagawa Daiichi. Out of sheer curiosity, he watched, amazed by how well the people on both sides of the court connected and played together as a team in order to win. But overall, he was fascinated by the person ( whose name he learned was Oikawa ) who each time made a toss and people would jump to spike at the ball.
Volleyball, he discovered was the name of this sports, and Kitagawa Daiichi by then became a place he wanted to go for middle school. Without a delay, Kageyama joined the club in his primary school; every day, he'd practice at home after classes, even during the summer vacation as a way to both kill time and drive the loneliness away. And soon enough, Kageyama came to love volleyball so much he was no longer reminded about how alone he was.
... Until a harsh reminder pulled at him in the midst of an important match where he was at his utmost vulnerability.
It didn't occur to him that it would happen during the game of the sports he loved, nor would it happen in a middle school that he wanted to go since younger.
When he made a toss to his behind; a toss truly intact that he confided in himself for doing a good job at that very momentー he was taken off guard when no familiar sound reached his ears. Instead of the sound made by a palm smacking the ball against the ground, it was the sound of a ball hitting the ground. And when he turned to his behind, he froze in place, appalled to know that nobody was there. Then there with a glance thrown to the side, he was greeted by none other than a familiar sight to behold. A silent declaration was made as his teammates turned their backs to him; it was a proclamation told of which they no longer wanted him on the court with them.
That was the third time he tasted betrayal.
Alone.
It's these downs that caused him to hesitate, reluctance shown when it comes to making friends. It's not that he couldn't do itー okay, he couldn't do it if he were to do so, but it's more like... The idea didn't appeal to him much. In other words, he didn't exactly want to make friends. He was often left to be by himself, and he didn't mind this at all. In fact, he was content with how things are as he didn't want to suffer like he did before.
There are only two things Kageyama loved in this world, and that is his mother and volleyball. Three, actually, if you included his favorite milk.
Slowly though, he was beginning to learn this mythical sentiment once more as brought upon by a friendship, and it was all due in a courtesy of his team whom he have come to accept as whole. He supposed that he would consider them as friends, no matter if one was a total dickhead ( Tsukishima ) or a pair of overly energetic boys ( Tanaka and Noya ). Asides from his father, he still has the parental love as bore by his very own mother.
Regardless, the most common concept of 'love' he heard about was one likely to be the area where he almost completely had no experience in.
An area in which it goes along with the lines of a lover or soulmate or whatever it is.
Kageyama, however, just like the idea of making friends, he was not appealed nor was he looking forward to this area of 'love' in the slightest. Yes, Kageyama did give a thought about this before, perhaps once or twice, but alas, even a thought itself could be either too much or too few to be contemplated uponー and the boy so happened to be on the former side.
Until one day, he found himself enamored by a smile.
A smile, so bright, it blinded him in more ways than one. A simple glance at the smile already made him felt like every problem of his vanished without a trace, lifting the unknown weight off of his chest. And to whom does this smile belong, you asked? It belonged to none other than Hinata Shoyo.
Hinata Shoyo. His teammate, his partner, and his... friend.
As much as he hated to admit, Hinata was slowly gliding through the barriers he set up around his heart. Lately though, whenever Kageyama found himself in a company of the said boy, he felt a tad bit more strange than the usual. A knot would begin to tie itself in his stomach, and his heart beat so fast that he was afraid that it might leap out of his chest. It's the first time he felt like this, and therefore, it was natural for him to be scared as it caused him to do several of irrational things and become mindful of pointless thoughts. Whichever this emotion may be residing within him, it certainly managed to put him in a quite contradicting state.
What more if this only happens around Hinata? Each time Kageyama saw him, he sought to be close yet at the same time, his mind screamed at him to run away. Of course, seeing as this was Kageyama, it was a no surprise that he heeded the instructions of his mind, and thus leading him to avoid while ignoring the short ginger-haired pointedly for the past few weeks. Despite how long this thing had been going on, Kageyama knew that at some point, this would have to stop. It was Hinata he was dealing with, after all, and knowing Hinata, he refuses to give up no matter how difficult the situation called for and he's been doing exactly that the past few weeks. It was expected, to be honest.
One of these days, Hinata was probably going to get mad at him for pursuing this silly act. Cross that 'probably' out, Hinata was definitely going to be mad at him and have him cornered without an escape. Even the complications of their new quick set a long while ago brought them both to an edge. Stubborn, Kageyama clicked his tongue. Of all people, it had to be him whose self-willed personality could be easily mistaken for being hard headed.
Stillー who would have known that his rival whom he intended to crush with his all might at first ended up being his significant other? After a long period of neglecting his teammate, Kageyama was gradually coming to an acceptance that yes, he does like Hinata. Then again, who wouldn't like Hinata? Everything about him thrills him to the bone. Whenever he or they successfully did an accomplishment, they both would become delighted and technically beam at each other while swelling with pride.
Now, Kageyama may not be a professional when dealing with this little thing called feelings, but that in no way it precisely means that he wasn't capable of differentiating them.
He likes Hinata. As in he likes likes Hinata.
It was a different kind of feeling like he loves his mother or how he loves volleyball. Kageyama was sure now. This area of 'love' that others kept talking about... It must be this strange feeling he's experiencing at the moment that's making him do incredulous things.
Knock, knock!
Before he could dwell into the topic further, a knock ruptured at his door disrupted Kageyama's thoughts, causing him to sit up sharply from his bed. He was taken aback by the abrupt sounds, concern crawling in from the back of his mind. With his mother usually working at night, that also meant no one was around at home at this moment. And so, he could only let his eyes scrutinize at the slight opening of the barricade before a head comes peeking in.
"Tobio?"
Then it turns out, it was his mother. Kageyama blinked at this, a hint of surprise evident upon his face as he quickly moves to sit properly, legs dangling off slightly at the edge of his bed. "Mom? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
"I'll be heading off to work again soon enough." His mother told him, shooting a soft smile afterwards. Regardless of the smile though, Kageyama felt a twinge of guilt creeping in upon noticing the bags under her eyes. With a deep intake of breath, he erased his thoughts, his surprise growing once more at his mother's next statement.
"I came to tell you that I received a phone call from your friend's mother."
"... My friend?" He narrowed his eyes at this. His friend? He doesn't have that much friends. She couldn't be possibly talking about him, could she?
"Hinata Shoyo, I think that's your friend's name?"
So, it is. "Oh. Hinata." He shifted uncomfortably to the side, brows knitting in confusion. For some reason, he didn't like this uneasy feeling. "His mom called?" It was strange, after all. It's not always that Hinata's mother called him, if anything, this may as well be the first time she called ever since he gave her the number to the house.
"Mhm. Hinata-kun is the boy you often walked home together with, no?"
Not much lately, but it's not like Kageyama could say that aloud. Without further ado, he merely gave a nod at the question, quietly wondering where this conversation could be leading to.
"Ah... You see. Well. Hinata-kun's mother called and she said that he hasn't come back home yet. She's wondering if you happen to know where he could be right now?"
