Trying Not To Live.


She'd been lying on the bottom of the lifeboat for the past six days… it was three days ago that she ran out of water… only yesterday since she started hearing them.

You killed us.

You brought this on us.

You let him kill us.

You let us die.

You did this to us.

You brought him home.

You brought him to us.

You let him slit my throat.

You let him tear open my chest.

You let him eat our baby.

You didn't save her.

You let her die.

Your fault.

You did this.

Your fault.

"I'm sorry,"

She'd been lying on the bottom of the lifeboat for the past six days… it was three days ago that she ran out of water… only yesterday since she started hearing them.

You killed us.

"What is that?"

You brought this on us.

"Man overboard!"

You let him kill us.

"Get her aboard. Now!"

You let us die.

"Heave!"

You did this to us.

"Step aside! Step aside!"

You brought him home.

"Who is she?"

You brought him to us.

"Who do you think she is?"

You let him slit my throat.

"She's almost gone, Captain. Barely a breath,"

You let him tear open my chest.

"Let me see her,"

You let him eat our baby.

"Get me some water!"

You didn't save her.

"Aye aye, Captain,"

You let her die.

"Just hold on a little bit longer, lass,"

You did this.

"Here, Captain,"

Your fault.

"I'm sorry,"

"It's alright," a new voice told her, one full of sarcasm and life. "Just take a sip of this,"

Her mouth opened as she felt the lip of a bottle touch her mouth. A bit of water entered her throat, choking her with how wet it was in comparison to her own dry mouth. It sent her into the worst coughing fit of her life, one that strained her diaphragm and made her head ache.

"Shh. It's alright,"

A hand rubbed her back to try to sooth her but all it did was warm her back. It had been a long time since she'd been touched, a year or more if her muddled mind could still make out the passing of time. The comfort of touch burned her. She hated it. She didn't deserve it.

"Take her to my quarters,"