Behold! Chapter 2! Enjoy! :) Previously:
Rick's eyes widened suddenly. "Holy shit! He's turning another year older today! Morty!" Morty's head rocked back and forth as Rick shook him. "W-w-w-w-we gotta celebrate this, Morty! I-I-It's a big day for you, M-OOGH-rty!"
"Rick, I thought that's why we were here in the first pla—"
"H-here, Morty! Have—URP!—Have some of this!" Rick interrupted as he pried Morty's mouth open and threw the rest of his Pan Galactic Garble Blaster into it.
Morty instinctively tried to spit it out, but the damage had been done. He couldn't remember the taste. The actual sensation of the drink was so overwhelming that it overrode most of his senses. His eyes tuned out the other way as his brain felt like it was being smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a gold brick. His jaw went slack, and his limbs stopped working as the intergalactic drink took effect.
He couldn't feel anything for what felt like an eternity; no pain, no pleasure, only a numbing sensation as if Novocain had been injected intravenously. And then it happened. A tingling sensation showered down upon him that made him start to shudder violently. This happened for a moment longer before it came to a stop. Before he could even get a single thought in, a rush of what he could only describe as soft feathers began to caress his insides, tickling a bit and causing him to giggle.
An incredible warmth encumbered him like a toasty Pillsbury Doughboy, and he let out a sigh of happiness. He was afraid for a moment that it would leave just like everything else, but to his delight it continued to stay. It was one of the most pleasurable feelings he's ever experienced. His eyelids fluttered before they fully opened. His vision swam as he witnessed multiple copies of Rick and Splanex blinking down at him.
"Morty?" The many voices of Rick called out and he barely felt his shoulder being grabbed.
Splanex resisted rolling his eyes as he watched Rick try to reach out to his drunk induced grandson. Honestly, he'd think that a carbon-based life form would be able to handle a tiny bit of alcohol, but it seemed this Morty character has set the bar at an all-time low. Sighing, he decided to patiently wait for this idiotic situation to end.
Frowning, Rick leaned back from the mess that was Morty and took in the slightly vacant expression on his face. Morty blinked lethargically, his unfocused eyes dilated. Then his grandson let out a dopey grin that disturbed the scientist to an uncomfortable degree. Rick didn't think twice as he retracted his arm and whipped it forward, slapping Morty across the face harshly.
Morty's head snapped to the side and the rest of his momentum caught up with him. He tumbled off the stool he had been sitting in and crumpled to the floor slightly moaning in pain. Rick didn't even flinch as he watched the teen fall to the ground. Rick opened his mouth to begin smart mouthing the figure on the floor when a clawed hand placed itself on his shoulder. He turned to stare at Splanex, who had cleared his throat.
"Allow me."
The alien picked Morty up by the scruff of his neck until he was suspended a foot off the ground. An elongated tube snaked out of one of the folds of Splanex's massive belly and hovered directly in front of Morty's face. Morty's eyes sparkled in amazement and curiosity, letting out an, "Ooh!" before spluttering and coughing as clear pink liquid shot out of the end of the thick tube and into his face. Groaning, he was let down back onto his feet where he leaned against the bar counter, a hand to his slightly throbbing head.
Rick's lips drooped in surprise by Splanex's actions and then he let out a laugh.
"Oh my god, S-Splanex! I-I-I forgot you could do that! Damn, dude," he chortled, "W-W-Why don't we take this p-AAARGH-rty t-to the dance floor, am I right!"
Splanex agreed and led the way to the back. Morty had just gotten rid of the slight pounding in his head when he felt a bony hand grip onto his arm and forcibly drag him away. A string of unintelligent protests left his mouth but all he got in response was, "C'mon, Morty! Q-Quit dragging your feet and let's go dance, bitch!"
Morty stumbled along in a daze. Not knowing what was going on or who these unfamiliar faces were didn't bother him as much as it would have if his mind was in its right place. The lights began to dim as they moved further along. A new fluorescent light presented itself and Morty's breath caught in his throat by how beautiful it was. Various colors shone around him in a miraculous display of entertainment he had never seen before.
Rick felt a tug on his arm that halted his movements. Turning, he saw Morty frozen in place and gawking endlessly at the fresh environment they stepped in. Looking around, Rick rolled his eyes when he realized his grandson was only marveling at the neon lights blatantly standing out under the black lights. If the kid was any more sober, he would have dismissed the common Earth party decoration. He swiftly pulled on Morty's arm with a frown.
"Morty, you idiot! The-the dance floor's this way! Let's go!"
His words fell on deaf ears when the son of Jerry gave a horrified gasp, his eyes practically bulging out of his skull as he pointed at Rick shakily.
"R-Rick! Y-y-y-you're teeth! They-they're-they're—!"
"Glowing? God damn it, Morty, you're not fucking high. Not yet, at least. Besides, y-EEUGH-ou think that's impressive? Y-You ain't seen nothing yet, dawg!"
Smirking, Rick forced Morty to continue until they were at the outer edge of the mosh pit. The music was blasting inconsistent patterns but somehow forming a beat the aliens could dance to. Splanex came up to them holding a couple more drinks and Rick immediately grabbed them with a cheer as he handed one to Morty.
Morty, still under the influence of the Gargle Blaster, fumbled before grabbing the drink with a slightly shaky hand. Rick clinked his glass against his with a broadening grin and drank the whole thing. Morty looked at his grandfather curiously and looked down at the drink in his hand. Blinking, he swallowed the whole drink, imitating the elder. He coughed, shuddering at the burning sensation traveling down his stomach.
Rick laughed and patted the boy on the back, incidentally forcing him to choke a bit more. The music suddenly changed songs and Rick's eyes widened with a large smile.
"Awww shiiiit! This is my song! Let's daaaance!" At that, the old man began moving his body, swinging his hips and shaking his ass. He didn't notice, but Splanex had slipped away from them to disappear into the crowd leaving only him and Morty. Rick continued to dance as his grandson awkwardly tried to keep up with him. The teen spun around and in his slightly dazed state noticed that Rick had vanished. Panicking, he whipped his head around to look for him.
When he caught sight of a white lab coat, he released a sigh of relief as Rick came out of the crowd and teetered over to him with a grin.
"Heeey, Mooortyyyy! I-I got—got you something, buddy!" Rick sang as he handed Morty a very familiar drink.
Morty eyed the drink hungrily and gratefully took it, loving the fruity taste slither down his throat in contrast to the horrible acidic burn from earlier. In only a few minutes, he had downed the drink and took notice of the nice bubbly sensation spreading through him. His eyes fluttered with enjoyment as his arms and legs relaxed completely. Morty couldn't remember feeling this way for a long time, completely stress free and no anxieties to bother him. It felt amazing.
He looked over to see Rick dancing among the mosh pit freely, not caring one bit that he was bumping into people. He looked to be in his own little world, and Morty had a strong urge to join him. Grinning, the birthday boy grabbed another Shink-A-Dink and did just that. Together the two of them moved to the music, laughing and making loud noises to further annoy surrounding aliens; and for once, Morty didn't give a FUCK.
The night dragged on like that. Morty not giving two shits about anything and Rick continuing to not give two shits. Just Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty crowd surfing through the mosh pit. Rick and Morty eating delicious intergalactic pizza. Rick and Morty winning money at the slot machines only to lose it all at a game of blackjack. Rick and Morty pissing gamblers off by miraculously kicking their asses in various games similar to poker, rummy, and craps. Rick and Morty spinning the wheel and nearly losing everything in BlarBlar Roulette.
Morty felt like he was having an out of body experience. He watched himself deal cards, throw dice, and tip the drink back repeatedly. Deal, throw, tip. Repeat. It was almost second nature at this point. Though Morty was under the influence and wasn't quite controlling most of his actions, he knew one thing was for sure: He was having fun. A lot of fun. More fun than he can ever remember having. He couldn't help but smile fondly up at the geriatric man taunting his challenger on the opposite end. Rick really knew how to throw him one hell of a birthday surprise.
"M-Morty! Morty!" Rick slurred out as he held a closed fist up to Morty's mouth. Morty went cross eyed for a moment and nearly fell over when his vision went more haywire than it already was. He steadied himself against the table in front of him.
"D-do me the honors, daaawg!" Rick asked, a twinkle in his eyes.
Morty felt more than honored as he puffed up his cheeks and messily blew into his grandfather's fist. Rick brought his hand back, reeled back a bit, and then smoothly flung the red multisided dice across the table until it hit the other side and rolled towards them. Morty's breath hitched just like it always did when seeing those dice rolling. When the dice stopped to show the same weird squiggly lines Morty wasn't accustomed to, a series of groans emitted from the aliens as his grandfather whooped in victory.
"Fuck yeah! F-F-OOGH-rty-two, bitches! N-Now that's what I c-AAAGH-ll the l-luck of the grandson! U-Up top, Morty!"
Morty clumsily high fived Rick with a laugh. He had no idea how these games worked, but Rick seemed to have a pretty firm grasp on it. Rick wrapped his arms around his winning chips (which looked more like mancala marbles) and dragged them over to their side. Then he grabbed the dice, wrapped an arm around Morty, and belched out, "Alright, wh-OOGH's next!?"
"That would be me."
Rick and Morty swiveled their heads clumsily to see someone they had plum near forgotten about the entire night. The massive figure of Splanex pushed his way to the front of the insulted crowd, giving both of them a smug and challenging smile, ruby eyes flashing. Morty blinked a few times, taking a few seconds to try and remember who this guy was. Rick, on the other hand, feigned a gasp and jabbed his pointed elbow into Morty's arm.
"Uh-oh, Morty! L-Looks like we got ourselves a-a friend's competition g-goin' on here! Well, briiing it on, shitface!"
Morty laughed, not exactly recognizing who they were challenging yet. "I-I don't know, Rick, I don't think this guy has balls big enough f-for a game like this," he slurred cockily.
"OH HOOO! Morty comin' in hot! Y-ya get it, Splanex? He-he's callin' you out on your—urp!—on your balls being dis-disproportionate from the-the rest of you." He gestured to all of Splanex with a toothy grin.
Splanex kept his composure, giving the two a knowing look as if their heads were glued together and they had no idea about it. The tusked alien stepped up to the table and the game most like craps, meaning a certain pair of squiggly lines was both good and bad.
Splanex reached into his pocket and grabbed a pair of dice, making sure that no one saw. With a quick move of professional prestidigitation, he reached over to swap that pair of dice with another pair of identical looking dice as he went to take his own set of dice to roll. Luckily, nobody saw the switch as the drunken pair before them only continued to jeer and laugh over their stupid jokes. Splanex gestured for them to take a pair. Rick smirked and snatched the ones left on the board by the alien. Splanex hid his grin.
The grandfather/son duo rolled first, and Rick gave out a victory shout with their excellent roll. As the game went on, the aliens were shocked by how lucky the duo were becoming while Splanex used the original dice. He was the magician of this game and he had everyone fooled, especially the two drunken idiots playing against him. The loud noises those two were making were drawing an even bigger crowd as many began to abandon their own game to watch theirs.
Though he was losing horribly, Splanex felt like he was on top of the world, but he wasn't going to let them know that. Not until he was ready, and by the progress this was going it wasn't going to be very long. He would grunt in frustration at his rolls and continually eye Rick and Morty with their dice suspiciously. He would inwardly grin when the other aliens began eyeing the two with the same suspicion.
"Forty-two!" Morty and Rick shouted at the same time with their last roll, not once questioning their luck, merely leaving it as it is and claiming their win.
"AWW YEEAHH, THAT'S GAME B-IIIGH-TCH!" Rick bellowed out, high fiving Morty and going to gather their chips.
"Hold on," Splanex firmly stated, giving the two a hard look.
Rick rested his elbow on Morty's shoulder and grinned cheekily at his friend.
"Aw, what-what's the matter, Splanex? Ca-can't stand losing to an old man and a kid? Well, I hate to break w-whatever the equivalent of your balls is but—"
"Let me see your dice." His rough, deep voice cut across the table.
The pair paused. Morty's gut did that weird squirming sensation whenever trouble was bound to appear, and he realized the alcohol in his system must be wearing off if he was already feeling this kind of anxiety. Rick rolled his eyes beside him and tossed the alien the dice.
"S-sure, fine, a souvenir for your loss."
Splanex caught the dice swiftly in his hand and examined them closely. Rick nudged Morty with his shoulder and jerked his head behind them as a gesture for them to cash out their winnings. He didn't want to waste time with whatever Splanex was going on about. Morty hesitated but seemed to agree on not staying to look into the deep red eyes of their opponent.
"N-now if you don't mind, we'll be—"
"These are rigged."
DUN-DUN! Sorry for such a short chapter, but hopefully this small cliffhanger will keep you tuned in to what will happen next! See ya! *gets sucked into a vacuum*
Testicle Monster: Yeah, well, I don't know where you expect me to think you got that time crystal over there, but the only way yo dumb ass, assin' ass asses could ever have one is if it was stolen.
Summer: *at Rick* You stole a time freezing crystal from testicle monsters?
Rick: I would have been happy to pay for it, Summer, but they don't exactly sell them at Costco. Besides, there's a larger lesson to be learned here. Get him!
Testicle Monster:*cocks gun* Ut tut tut! You'd better keep back! Man, this will turn your ass into a third trimester fetus from thirty yards!
