For about ten minutes, I layed there. I stared up at the blank cieling, just staring. I doubt that there was any remote brain activity in those minutes. I just stared. I didn't wonder about my fate or really care anymore. I knew I was dying. And I knew what was killing me. And it didn't bother me because I had nothing to live for. I knew that sounded selfish, reguarding Charlie and Renee. But they really didn't me all that much anymore. Renee had Phil. And Charlie was just fine without me before I ever moved to Forks. I didn't know what I was to do. I knew I was dying. But what was I to do until then? Just lay here? It took months, sometimes years; for cancer to kill. I didn't want this torterous source flowing through my veins in the mean time. I wished it would kill me now. Right now. I wish this murderous disease inside would take me away from all of this horrible nonsense people call the human life.

With my brain unfunctioned, and my body relaxed, eventually I drifted off to sleep. I was immediately out of the white room and in a new room full of dark and nothingness. To most people, this would be quite disturbing. But with my horrible surroundings of white, this blackness was actually quite comforting. Suddenly, a being emerged from the darkness. A wonderful, angelic being that part of me was in love with and part of me hated. But sure enough, as he walked towards me, I felt myself smile. He was not smiling though. The look on his face was grim and quite sad. It hurt my heart. This amazing person shouldn't be sad, not ever. Edward's eyes were to the ground. He didn't seem to want to look at me. This hurt my heart even more. By the look of his jaw, his teeth were clenched and he was fighting off some anger that was inevitable to fight off. After a few moments of silence, he looked up. His eyes told me a story. A terrible, disturbing, confusing story that I didn't have much desire to hear. Then his lips slightly parted and he spoke. "You don't.." he seemed at a loss for words. His eyes drifted back to the ground, and I could see his pain... feel his pain. "You don't have much time, do you?" he asked in the most heartbreaking tone I would have though imaginable. I only nodded, feeling as if I wanted to cry. The look on Edward's face , his tone, everything that made him sad; caused this feeling. In reaction to my words, he winced in a pain that I had never experienced before. Wrong. I had experienced a pain like this before. But his pain seemed so much more expressive. So much deeper.

After a few fragile breaths for air that broke my heart, he looked up and his ice-cold hand across my cheek. His touch on my skin was the most amazing feeling. A feeling I thought I would never experience began to breathe heavily again. Since vampires couldn't produce any actual tears, I would imagine this was how they wept. Realizing that he was not only shocked, but crying caused tears to form in my large brown eyes, that didn't leave his image. Seeing my tears, he brought me closer, into his cold, hard chest. I buried my face in his shirt, trying to hold back the oncoming tears. After feeling I had won control over my powerful tears, I pulled slightly away from him so that I could see his face. His beautiful angelic face was crumpled in worry. He also had gotten control of the crying though now he looked just as sad. But just as I got a meer glimpse of his face, he placed his hand against my hair and brought my face back to be buried into his chest. I got the impression that he didn't want me to notice his pain.

"Are you... scared?" his wonderful voice broke at the end, causing a shutter to race up my spine. I took a deep breath and shook my head. I realized that multiple tears were streaming down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away and murmured the quick and hard words. "I don't.. I'm not sure yet..." He nodded, his hands tugging through my messy hair. I couldn't help but smile when I had the revelation that I was actually in my true loves arms again. I was here with him. Nothing else mattered. But as the smile came to place on my face, I felt him jerk forward, obviously in pain. He fell to the floor, gasping for air again; wincing and screaming. I dropped to the floor with him; both alarmed and terrified. "Edward!" I screamed at him, grabbing at his body; wanting to sotp the pain. But he pulled away and looked up at me, with his teeth clenched and his eyes fierce. "No.." he said and then the sweet darkness was over. The light was back and so was I. I was back to reality. I was back in this cruel reality. I was back to having cancer. I was back in this hospital that was driving me crazy but the hardest part of being back was that it took him away from me. Again.