Chapter 2: What?

Lindsey and Jeff were married exactly 14 Earth Years after I died. Jeff lit a candle in my honor right before the ceremony. He cried. It wasn't the first time I had seen him cry. I mean, even when I was alive, he wasn't exactly the driest eye in the world. I'm talking about after I died. If you leave out the follow-up to my dying, I can name at least ten: Steven officially moving back to the US, Steven and Annette's wedding, Miss Palma's retirement, this one time some dog across the street ate this poor defenseless bird and left the remains on the manhole cover (don't ask), Lindsey breaking up with him, Lindsey asking him out again, getting accepted to three Ivy Leagues, graduation, going to college, proposing to Lindsey (after the Kay Jewelers moment, I backed out- who knows where that went…). Anyway, I have seen my share of male tear moments.

Jeff wanted to have the wedding on the anniversary of my death, because he thought that I would have wanted it that way. Guess what? I did. I was so happy to be remembered on such a joyful day, I cried in my room after (quite literally, Tears in Heaven, like the Eric Clapton song I gave Jeff the day I died-you know, Would you know my name…).

Since they got married, Jeff and Lindsey have done a lot more talking about me. Yes, me. They would consider what I would have wanted, since I (kinda) got them together in the first place. When they were talking about names for their first baby (I know, scary), they thought that I would have liked it to be named after me (if it was a boy. Duh). Well guess what? Thaddeus Steven Alper was born exactly 16 Earth Years after my death (parents' anniversary, too). Seeing the joy on Jeff's face when he first held Tad was so heart-warming that I cried. Again. (I have turned into such a crybaby since I died.)

Exactly (yes, again my death day) two Earth Years later, Annette Palma Alper was born. By then, I had adjusted completely to life as a dead dude. And the greatest part was that it was like I had never left. I mean, Jeff knew I was gone, but he hadn't lost his strength or courage. I think he sensed my presence a lot (I mean, when I was with him).

But then, three years after Annette P. Alper was born, Miss Palma, our beloved English teacher passed away. On the same day that I had died. I was called by Bill (my Guardian, remember) to Reuniting Room 78,9043B to meet with Miss Palma. She had had a car accident, and on Earth had been very…tangled. But up here, she looked as young and vibrant as ever. The weirdest part was that she kept correcting people's Swahili grammar (yeah…she seems to know every rule in every language now. It's creepy.). And she did know my name when she saw me (in Heaven). Jeff and Lindsey both were devastated. I, on the other hand, was elated to finally have someone I knew from Life in Heaven with me.

But then the most unusual thing happened. Yes. After all these weird Heavenly facts I've been telling you, it gets stranger. Miss Palma's Guardian took her to see the Big One. That, my friend, is something no Guardian has ever (I repeat, EVER) done that before. And that's saying something.

TBC…

Disclaimer: I still am not Jordan Sonnenblick and still do not own Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie. If I were somehow Mr. Sonnenblick, I would be rolling in my piles of money in my awesome bathtub.