Author's Note: I do not own Phineas and Ferb. Thanks so much to everyone who read and reviewed! Here's the next chapter!

Dear Diary,

Today was a very mixed bag. First, the good part: I've put up my pen for sale on the internet and some loser bought it from me for fifty DOLLARS! Ha-ha-ha!!!! I only bought it for fifty cents!! This is really, very, wonderfully evil!! Now I can afford more, eviler things, like…well, I don't know right now, but I'll figure something out eventually.

Anyway, now the bad part: I had Vanessa for the weekend and when I told her about my new diary, she laughed at me! Right in my face! Can you believe it? I tried pointing out that she was the one who suggested the diary idea in the first place, but she told me she was kidding and that diaries were for wimps! Me! Evil Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz! A wimp! Well, I suppose I'm not exactly the toughest guy around, but I'm certainly not a wimp!

But anyway, I decided to ignore her and I'll continue writing in this diary, so you have nothing to worry about; I won't abandon you. However, her rude commenting made me quite upset, so to make myself feel better, I went outside and tripped seven more innocent citizens. I felt much, much better after that.

At that time, Vanessa was taking a shower, so I went snooping in her room in the meantime, and do you know what I found? A DIARY! I can't believe it!! I didn't read it, of course, it was locked (Note to self: Purchase lock for diary) and I didn't have time to open it before she came out of the shower, but still! I can't believe she mocked me for having one!!

I wanted to ask her about it when she came out, but then I would have to admit to snooping in her room, and while I was proud of my evil deed for the day, I did not want to cause any more problems, so I kept quiet. Well, I have to go accept that $50 offer for my pen now (Bwa-ha-ha!!), so I'll talk to you later!

Dr. D

Dear Diary,

I found out why that guy offered $50 for my pen today, three days after he bought it. Turns out it was some rare, designer pen from France or something, and only 100 have been made so far. I guess there were some extremely uncommon plastics in that thing that supposedly guaranteed "better writing quality" for the user. Well, I admit, it was a little inky, but I don't think it was worth $50. Oh, well. At least that guy who sold it to me for fifty cents didn't know about it either! Ha-ha! I still have caused some evil! Well, more inconvenient than evil, but still a little evil, at least!

Anyway, I kind of wanted my pen back now, so I'm working on creating a pen-retriever-inator. I researched the plastics in the pen, and as it turns out, they are attracted to the material found in lab coats! Luckily, I have tons of lab coats in my closet because, as you know, evil scientist is definitely my style. I should have my pen-retriever-inator ready in a couple of days, so I'll check back soon to report on my progress.

By the way, I need to set up some better platypus traps in case you-know-who happens to bursts in when I try to retrieve my $50 pen. How does he always seem to know exactly when I'm doing something evil? Hmm…I suppose it has something to do with that camera the Agency installed on my ceiling. I should disable it one of these days, but it's just too much work, you know? I mean I have to find a very tall ladder, then I have to find a screwdriver that fits, then I have to unscrew it from the ceiling and read the instruction manual that came with it, and it- it's just way too much work for a busy person like myself. Anyway, I'll talk to you soon!

Evilly Scheming,

Dr. D

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please review and tell me what you think!