Chapter 2 – Longing and loss

Nikita was in the spare bedroom in the Cullen house, screaming and screaming. Sometimes she stopped screaming, as it didn't lessen the pain. Besides, the pain was lessening for Nikita now. She was confused, as to what was happening to her, and to why she was hurting. But the pain was clearing, and with it her head was clearing. She was beginning to be able to hear things, the whispers of the other people in the house, the sound of the forest outside, and she was realising that she could hear a lot better than should before. She tried to talk, tried to call out, to ask what was happening to her, but she couldn't speak. Every time she tried to open her mouth, she was overcome with an urge to scream again, so she clamped her mouth shut.

Edward walked into the room, where Jasper was just stood looking at her. The family had been taking it in turns to watch over her. Jasper said to Edward 'She's stopped screaming so much. She keeps opening her mouth as if she's trying to talk, but then she always closes her mouth again pretty quickly. I wouldn't doubt if she could hear us right now.' He bent down beside her, taking her hand into his 'Nikita, can you squeeze my hand? If you can hear me, squeeze my hand.' Nikita would have gasped at the feel of his hand on her's, if she could have made any noise, and she tried so hard to squeeze his hand, but she couldn't do it. However, Jasper noticed her fingers twitch. 'See, she can hear us.' he said to Edward. 'Nikita, I hope you can hear me properly. I'm going to explain to you what's happening.' Nikita listened to him, her mind clearing. Jasper continued, explaining 'You're becoming one of us, Nikita. You're becoming part of a secret world, in which humans live side by side with but don't know the existence of. What you were attacked by was a vampire. Vampire's exist, and you are about to join that world. Its going to be a scary world, Nikita, and hard to adapt. When you change, we will explain your options to you. If you want to stay with us, we can help guide you into your new life. Of course, we won't make you stay with us. It's your choice. You can live alone, or there are other covens you join. Or there are-' Edward glared at Jasper and shook his head, reading his mind, seeing he was thinking about the Volturi. Jasper nodded 'Well, anyway, there are options for you. You're going to be thirsty for a long time before you learn to control it. You're going to want to feed all the time. This means you won't be able to go back to school, won't be able to see your family again.' 'She won't want too.' Edward interrupted. 'She ran away from them. She won't want to go back.' Edward nodded and continued 'But we'll help you, Nikita. We will help you learn to feed on animals. That's if you wish to stay with us. What you do once you wake up is your choice.'

Edward put a hand on his brother's shoulder and led him over to by the door, out of earshot of Nikita. 'Jasper.' he said quietly. 'Do you know who she is?' Jasper shook his head 'I don't.' he said quietly 'I don't think 'I've ever met her.' Edward said 'It's a good job she can't hear you. Because she loves you, and all she wants is for you to love her too. But you don't even know who she is. I don't blame you, Jasper, there are a lot of students at that school. But if she hears you, she's going to hurt for a very, very long time.' Jasper nodded 'I feel bad for not noticing her. But even if I had noticed her, I could never have been with her. I would have hurt her. I could never have been intimate with her. I would have been too afraid of hurting her. If I had fallen in love with her, and I had hurt her, I could never have forgiven myself. I think that me not knowing who she is was for the best. Because it means I didn't have to go through the pain of hurting her. So I think its best that I never knew her, never noticed her, never gave her a second thought. Loving her, and inevitably hurting her, would have broken my heart. That would have broken my heart. So I'm pleased I never fell in love with Nikita Jones. Edward nodded and put a hand on his brother's shoulder 'I understand completely, Jas. It's for the best. I know the pain you would have gone through, having killed her accidentally, would have been fatal for you. I'm pleased I haven't lost my brother. So now, hopefully, we'll have a new sister too.' Jasper nodded 'I hope she didn't hear what I just said to you, Edward. She'll be crushed. I hope we get a new sister too, Edward. It will be nice having a new family member. It will be fun having someone to teach again. Something new to do around here. Emmett will enjoy teaching her to fight, I know he's bored.' Edward nodded and smiled 'Come on, let's go back down to the family. Its Esme's time to watch her.' Jasper nodded, and the two of them walked back down the stairs towards the living room.

However, unknown to Jasper and Edward, Nikita's hearing was getting better. She had heard every word of their conversation. A lone tear slid down her cheek, which soon dried up, as her love turned into hatred.