This one kinda has a bit of an...unfinished feel to it, while at the same time, feeling completely finished. ; I don't get it either.

This one is a lot less rambly, and is inspired by a bunch of the pictures I've seen of Sokka in a dress looking terrified. It also has some more Suki-Ty Lee-Toph friendship, fewer hints of Toph's crush on Snoozles, and a reprise of Toph's Melonlordness.

I DO NOT OWN AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER OR ANY CHARACTERS OR IDEAS EXPRESSED WITHIN.


"Suki," I whispered. I'd come out of my rock tent because of my undoubtedly brilliant and wonderful idea, and snuck into her tent (she only used it when Snoozles was drunk).

"What is it Toph?" she murmured sleepily, sitting up. I could still feel the earth through the floor of the tent, though it was a duller presence.

"I thought of how to ensure Sokka being more careful about drinking," I told her.

She was awake all at once. "Dare I ask?" she said, sliding out of her bedding.

"Oh yes, because we're going to need a fancy dress and make-up."

I grinned when her silence told me she was waiting. "Snoozles is totally out of it when he drinks. We put the make-up and dress on him, and hide the rest of his stuff in Twinkletoes' bags." I was pleased with the plan.

"I'll get one of mine," Suki said, after a short pause. I felt and heard her rummaging through her bag, and then she snickered. "I hope Sokka hates pink."

"He's about to," I promised, and followed her to his tent. He was completely unconscious. I sorted out his clothing from his other belongings, then carried them to Appa while Suki worked. It didn't take long before I had all of Sokka's masculine clothing tucked away with the maps for the Water Tribes and of the Fire Nation. Since we were dealing with the Earth Kingdom, we didn't really need maps anymore. We'd all traversed the countryside enough to know it by heart, and as we took out any pockets of Fire Nation that hadn't gotten the message that they were toast (and muffins, chickenboar, and Sabretoothed-Mooselion chow), we got to know it even better.

I sensed Ty Lee walking from her side of the camp to me. "Toph, what are you doing?" she asked softly.

"Making sure Snoozles wants to quit drinking," I told her, bluntly.

Suki came out from Sokka's tent, hunched over with giggles. She spotted Ty Lee. "Hey, do you want to do something to his hair?" she asked.

Ty Lee probably started smirking then. "I'd love to," she said, and flounced into the tent. She came out soon enough, cartwheeling. "He's gonna be a masterpiece in the morning," she hummed. "Unless he changes."

"He can't," I told her. "I've hidden all his clothes." The three of us retreated to our individual tents before we could wake everyone up by laughing.

Sleeping in a rock tent will understandably give you weird dreams. Even I can admit that. I'm still not sure they beat the dreams you get on cactus juice, but they're pretty strange anyhow. That night, I dreamed that Fire Lord Ozai was ordering me to marry Iroh. It was particularly vivid when I decided to take on Ozai in one of those Agni Kai thingummies. I beat the living pigbear fat out of him, and ended the dream by conquering the Fire Nation as the Melonlord. It was a good dream.

The morning peace, and my conquest of Ember Island (which involved burning the house of the players there) was shattered by an earsplitting scream. For once, unannoyed, I made my way outside, along with the rest of our group. "SNOOZLES TURN IT DOWN!" I shouted.

"Look at me Toph! I'm a girl, I'm hideous and I'm in a dress, look at me!" he sobbed, latching onto me tearfully. Of the opportunity he was giving me...innocent, naive Sokka was no match for the brutal power of Melonlord Toph.

"First of all, I'm blind, idiot. Second of all, you're still male, despite the falsetto," I said, and smirked as he made a questioning noise. "Some things you just don't want to know, Snoozles. But I will say this, Aang's got you beat." That was a total lie, but humiliating both of them in one stroke just made it better.

All the girls in camp were giggling, and Sokka and Aang seemed to be having very different reactions. Aang was out of my ability to see. Apparently he'd lifted off the ground in excitement or something. Sokka was sobbing harder than before, and had released me. Suki and Ty Lee were clutching each other's shoulders.

With Sokka collapsed on the ground, I could now feel the extent of what the other two had done. His hair had been pulled into a miniature version of Katara's hairdo. He was in one of the uncomfortable court gowns Suki had been coerced into donning for the coronation ball for Zuko, and I hadn't realized it was possible to make that much make-up stick to a person's face before.

"Do I dare ask who did what to him?" Aang asked, alighting next to Sokka finally.

"I dunno," I said, shrugging. "Maybe someone got bored."

"You didn't feel anything, Toph?" he asked.

"Besides Sokka staggering into camp at two?" I frowned. "No, not really. After I told him to shut up I went back to sleep."

"And he lectures us about drinking," Ty Lee muttered to Suki. "Wanna bet how bad his hangover is?"

"Worse than any of mine," Suki muttered.

Sokka continued sobbing at my feet, and as I was tapping my foot, and idea came to me. "Ty Lee," I said, pitching my voice slightly. "Come with me down to the river." She followed me complacently.

"What's up?" Ty Lee asked immediately.

"Can you cut my hair?" I asked. "Short."

"It'll look cute that way," she responded, by way of agreement. With a small knife borrowed from Mai, she cut my hair away. I felt each lock drop to the ground, and my smile began to grow.

"Any reason you decided to do this, this morning?" she asked.

"It's my fourteenth birthday. I figured it was time to change something."