Empire: A Family Affair
Chapter 2: Dangly Parts
A lavender-haired teenager watched as his best friend took one to the jaw. Then he took another one to the gut. He managed to stand upright and shook the blows off quickly. He got into his fighting stance only to be kicked into the dirt on his backside. Before he could stand up, his sparring partner was on top of him, pinning him to the ground.
"Enough!" their teacher yelled.
Goten watched as his sparring partner, a girl named Paris, removed herself from on top of him. She held out her hand and helped him up. Before Goten could say anything to her, she walked away to the other side of the yard. Goten sighed and moved over to his best friend, Prince Trunks.
"You so let her beat you," Trunks said. Goten shrugged.
"No, I didn't. She won fair and square," Goten lied. Trunks cackled loudly.
"Ha! You're lying. You didn't even defend yourself, you jerk. You so could've killed her." Trunks narrowed her eyes. "Don't tell me you've got a thing for her."
"No, I don't. I just think she's," Goten looked over at Paris, "cute. That's all."
"Whatever. If a chick was kicking my ass, I have the right to kick hers," Trunks said. Goten laughed.
"That's because you're the prince, dodo."
"And don't you forget it." Trunks glanced over at their teacher. He was going on about something, but Trunks was not listening. Instead, he looked around the yard. Lately, their class had been thinning out slowly. A lot of the students had been leaving for the army early. Trunks had no real desire to join the army, but he knew it was probably expected of him. He felt Goten shove him lightly.
"Let's go, Trunks. We were just dismissed." Goten was standing. Trunks followed suit and they left the yard together.
As they traveled towards the barracks, they noticed a group of little kids gathered together in another yard. They were yelling and cheering on what looked to be like a fight. There were no adults around to stop it. Trunks looked at Goten.
"What do you suppose that's about?" Trunks asked. Goten shrugged.
"Dunno. Let's check it out," Goten said. Trunks nodded and they moved towards the group of cheering kids.
As they got closer, Trunks and Goten saw over a few of the kids' heads. Trunks caught a glimpse of aqua blue. Then he saw red and black. Then both he and Goten just paused in absolute amazement.
In the center of the cheering students, Bra was fighting with a girl her age. The four-year-olds were covered in dirt and blood. It took a moment for both teenagers to recognize what was happening. Then Trunks shook out of his stupor and went forward. Goten followed suit. He pulled Bra off of the girl she was pummeling in the face. Goten dragged the other one that was kicking Bra back and tried to hold her back from getting at the princess.
"Bra, calm down! It's me!" Trunks yelled. The other children seemed to recognize who Trunks was and their cheering calmed. Trunks was like a god to them. They started to disperse quickly and quietly. Bra stopped fighting in her brother's arms, but she did not stop growling and glaring maliciously at the other girl. "Now, what happened?" Trunks asked.
"She pulled my braid and called me Water Head," Bra said. Goten raised an eyebrow. He looked down at the girl he was holding.
"Water Head? That's the best you could come up with? I had better names for Tru..."
"Goten, this isn't a contest," Trunks said. Goten nodded. "Take her to the infirmary to get her fixed up. I'll deal with my sister," he said. Goten nodded and carried the other girl off. Bra gave her one last malevolent look. When they were gone, she rubbed her arm where a nasty bruise was starting to form.
"Are you going to tell Daddy that I was fighting?" she asked quietly and without looking at her older brother. Trunks turned her around.
"No," he said. He looked at her bruises. "But you can't fight everyone who makes fun of you and pulls your braid. You'll get into a lot of fights if you do that. Take it out on them when you spar. Okay?" Trunks said. Bra smiled and nodded. "Let's go get you fixed up before Father sees you."
After making sure there were no reprisals of her fight, Trunks and Goten waited until after dinner to sneak out of the barracks. When they got to the front of the training grounds, two people were waiting for them. Trunks noticed in the dark that the dark forms were female.
"Hey, Paris," Goten whispered as they made it to the front. Trunks frowned and stepped up to Goten.
"Goten, what the hell is she doing here?" he whispered. Paris glared at Trunks.
"Me and Liss can go back if we aren't wanted in the presence of HIS majesty," Paris said. Goten shook his head zealously. Trunks just glared at Paris in the dark; he had a deep distaste for the girl and let her know it every chance he got.
"That's not it, Paris. I just never got around to telling him that you two were coming. That's all. You and Liss can come. Isn't that right, Trunks?" Goten looked at Trunks. Trunks glared down at his friend. He sighed and walked off through the gates of the training grounds. Goten shook his head. "Follow us, ladies," Goten said.
Trunks led the other three through a hidden path up to the palace entrance. A few guards were on post. They were too busy talking and having a few drinks to notice four teenagers sneaking towards them stealthily. Trunks and Goten took them out quickly and quietly.
"Impressive." Paris looked around. "What happens when someone finds three big guards unconscious at the palace gates?" she asked. Trunks gave her a scowl that rivaled his father.
"Why don't you help hide one of them and shut that hole in your face?" Trunks said while dragging one of the larger guards into a dark corner. Paris frowned and helped Liss roll a fat guard into the darkness. Trunks stepped out of the shadows and looked around. He saw that no lights were on in his parents' bedroom.
That means absolutely nothing, he thought. Better chance it, though. I can sneak around Father. He had done it before; or at least he thought he had. Trunks faced the other three, who had started to whisper amongst themselves.
"Come on. Let's go." Trunks headed for the large doors.
Vegeta walked slowly down the halls. Bulma was hanging on his left arm. They were both mildly tipsy and very tired. Bulma started to hum and shifted on his arm. Vegeta felt her roll back. He watched her catch herself and she started to laugh loudly. She stopped suddenly, as if recognizing that the loud, unattractive cackle that echoed throughout the halls belonged to her.
"Was that really me?" she whispered, looking at Vegeta.
"Yes, woman. You sound horrible when you're drunk and you laugh," Vegeta said dryly. Bulma stared at him for a moment more before starting to walk again.
"I don't sound horrible. I sound," Bulma thought for a moment, "special."
"Yes. You sound VERY special," Vegeta said. Bulma blinked. She let go of Vegeta, who was smirking mischievously. Bulma crossed her arms. She glared at him, trying to save face.
"Yes. Well, I suppose I set myself up for that one." Bulma started to walk again. This time, she was on the other side of the hallway. Before she knew what had happened, she was kissing the marble floor. Vegeta was at her side in a moment. Bulma sat up and rubbed her head. "I tripped over something," she murmured.
Vegeta looked back at Bulma's feet. Her left foot had caught on to a boot. But, the boot was still on someone's leg. Bulma stood up quickly. Vegeta pushed her behind him and approached the leg. He looked in the alcove and saw an unconscious guard. In fact, there were several unconscious guards stuffed into this one alcove. Vegeta frowned.
"Vegeta, what is this?" Bulma asked. Vegeta sighed.
"Your precious son and his ridiculous friend." Vegeta turned around, immediately sobering up. He nearly knocked Bulma over as he walked past her. "Go back to the chambers, woman. I'm going to find the boy."
"No. I want to see..." Bulma let out a yawn. Vegeta rolled his eyes. Bulma shook her head and flounced past him. "I'm coming, Vegeta. Where is he?"
"If I had to guess, he's in that sauna you had installed," Vegeta said quietly.
That sobered the queen up quick, fast, and in a hurry.
Trunks, Goten, Paris, and Liss were sitting in the underground sauna. They had managed to take out at least ten guards on their way down to the sauna. They had also managed to avoid Trunks' mildly drunk parents. Now, they sat in the gigantic sauna, relaxing and eating all kinds of food.
"Are you sure we won't get in trouble?" Liss asked, looking around nervously. Trunks and Goten laughed.
"We haven't gotten in trouble yet. Goten and I do this all the time. We've never gotten caught once," Trunks said. Liss nodded.
"Goten, you let me win today," Paris said. Goten looked up out of the water.
"No, I didn't," Goten said quickly. Trunks shook his head.
"I said the same thing, Paris. He didn't even defend himself," he said. Paris crossed her arms.
"I want a rematch. Tomorrow. Before dinner. No holds barred. I want you to fight me for real this time. Deal?" Paris said. Goten glared at Trunks. Trunks just shrugged. Goten looked back at Paris.
"Fine. But, I you really don't want to fight me," Goten said. Paris and Trunks laughed.
"Why? You can't possibly be that strong. I'm the strongest female in our division. I think I'm due for a challenge," she said. Trunks just kept snickering. Paris glanced over at him. "What's your problem?"
"You have no idea what you're in for," Trunks said through fits of laughter. He relaxed back on the edge of the bath and spread his arms out.
"Oh, I think I do." Paris let her hair down and dipped under the water.
Goten looked over at the plate of goodies they had swiped from the kitchen. Just as Goten reached for it, he caught sight of a face he did not want to see. He tapped Trunks. Trunks looked at Goten. Goten pointed behind Trunks. Trunks twisted his head around to see his mother standing at the top of the stairs, glaring maliciously down at him.
"Hello, boys. Made yourself right at home, I see," Bulma said. She descended the steps slowly. Trunks and Goten opened their mouths to speak but were silenced when they saw the next person come down after Bulma: Vegeta. They swallowed their words immediately. Bulma just smirked at their hesitance. "You brought a friend, too."
"A friend?" Goten croaked. He turned his head and saw Liss. The girl was frozen in her spot. She had lowered herself in the water a little to cover herself. Both Vegeta and Bulma raised eyebrows when they saw a head rise out of the water right in front of Trunks.
"Sorry, Trunks. I think I have something in my eye. I can't see a damn thing," Paris said. She was rubbing her right eye furiously. She was oblivious to the fact that both the king and queen were in front of her and she was flashing them. She also had no idea what it looked like to the outsider when she just rose from the water like she had; especially to the Crown Prince of Vegeta-sei's mother. "Could you hand me a towel so I can wipe my face?"
"AHEM!" Bulma cleared her throat loudly. Paris turned her head to look at Bulma and Vegeta with her left eye. She almost choked on her own saliva and immediately sunk into the pool to cover her nakedness. Bulma gave the girl an evil glare before walking over to the table of towels. She picked a few up and threw some to both of the girls. "Now get the hell out of my bath," she said calmly.
"Yes, your majesty," Liss and Paris said quickly. They scrambled to their clothes and pulled on their boots. They bowed as they passed Vegeta and left, still wrapped in towels. Bulma watched the girls go before turning her menacing glare towards Trunks and Goten.
"An explanation, gentlemen?" Bulma asked. She was still moderately intoxicated, but she was not going to miss out on disciplining these two. She tried to focus on the two of them and not the green water. They just sat staring at her, mouths gaping.
"The woman asked you two a question. I don't have to beat it out of you, do I?" Vegeta spoke finally. He approached slowly from behind Bulma. Trunks and Goten shook their heads. They had been on the receiving end of Vegeta's version of "discipline." It had not been pretty. "Answer her."
"Well, we were sore. So, we wanted to just soak for a little while. That's all," Trunks said quickly. He looked at Goten. "Right?"
"Uh, yeah. That's all, Miss Bulma," Goten said.
"And those girls? Who were they? And what was one of them doing underwater?" Bulma asked.
"They were just some girls from our division. We invited them to come," Trunks said, looking at Goten. Goten sank back in the bath a little. Trunks then looked back at his mother. Bulma crossed her arms.
"You forgot one question. What was one of them doing underwater?"
"Oh. I don't know. Right before you came down here she went underwater. I guess she wanted to get her hair wet," Trunks said. Vegeta snorted from behind Bulma. Bulma turned and gave him the evil eye. Then she looked back down at Trunks.
He has no reason to lie. Besides, he looked genuinely shocked that she came up, she thought. But, then again, that's why he could've looked shocked. After all, we did walk in on them. She looked down and saw her stash of chocolate. She picked up the plate.
"Get out of that bath. I'll let your father decide what to do with you two. Stay away from my damn chocolate." Bulma put a piece in her mouth. "And Goten?"
"Yes, Miss Bulma?"
"I'm telling Chichi." Bulma gave Trunks one last condescending look before leaving. Trunks felt guilt wash all over him. He had never been caught by his mother before; just his father. His father always made a joke of it. But, his mother obviously took it seriously. Especially since there were girls involved.
To Goten, that was the worst punishment known to man. He watched Bulma walk off with the plate of food. She nodded at her husband and then left the sauna.
Vegeta looked at the two teenagers as they climbed out of the bath. They went to the towels and wrapped them around their waists. Vegeta smirked at them. Trunks and Goten appeared worried; between Vegeta and Brolly, it was hard to tell who thought up the worst punishments. It was like a contest between the two.
"I have a good one this time, gentlemen. I just want you two to spar..."
"Oh, Father, no!" Trunks moaned. He had a feeling there was far more to it than that. Vegeta held up a hand, silencing his son. Trunks sighed and put his hands in his wet hair.
"Tomorrow, you two will spar. But, you will spar in the main training yard, naked, in front of your division's females," Vegeta said. Trunks and Goten stared at him in disbelief. "What?"
"Father, that's disgusting!"
"Yeah, sire. I don't want the girls looking at my... dangly parts," Goten said.
"Well, perhaps you should've thought of that before you let those other two harlots see your DANGLY parts a few minutes ago." Vegeta turned his back on them. "Besides, in the ancient times, that's exactly how all sparring matches were done: naked and in the mud. Bright and early, boys. Now, get back to the barracks before I string you up by your DANGLY parts." Vegeta disappeared up the stairs.
In their bedroom, Vegeta entered to find Bulma still eating chocolate. She looked at Vegeta as he entered. She sat the chocolate aside and let him sit on the bed.
"So, what's their punishment?" she asked. Vegeta laid back and smirked.
"Naked mud sparring in front of every female in their division," he said.
It took Bulma a moment to analyze what he said, but she got it after a moment. Then she started laughing maniacally.
"Nice one, Vegeta. That ought to keep them out of my sauna for good. I wonder if what Trunks said was true. Was that girl really just getting her hair wet?"
"Of course. What else could she have possibly been doing?"
The next morning, Trunks and Goten waited in the barracks alone. They were wearing robes with nothing under them. Trunks avoided his friend's eyes. Goten, perky as always, did not seem to mind the task at hand.
"Come on, Trunks. It's not THAT bad. It's not like we have anything to be ashamed about," he said. Trunks glared at Goten.
"It's just the principle, Goten. This is humiliating. One day I'll be king and then all the women who are my age will know what my... you know, looks like. Not exactly something I want to have at the back of my mind." Trunks crossed his arms over his chest. Then their teacher entered and ordered them out. They both stood and followed him to the main training yard.
The entire 15-16 female division was there, waiting for the two to arrive. When they saw Trunks and Goten, they seemed to hush a bit. Trunks immediately narrowed his eyes at Paris. As he saw it, this was all her fault. She had made his mother think less of him. He just knew it. He could tell by the way Bulma had looked at him the night before.
"I want to kill that girl," Trunks mumbled. Goten stepped up beside him. He followed his line of sight.
"Paris? What did she do?"
"My mom is mad at me because of her. She thinks we were doing something because of her. Now my mom probably doesn't trust me," Trunks said. Goten frowned.
"Hey, don't blame this on Paris. You wanted to go to the sauna, too."
"Let's just get this over with," Trunks said. He stepped away from Goten as they got to the center of the yard. Their teacher stood between them.
"Boys, drop your robes," he said.
Both Trunks and Goten visibly cringed. They untied their robes and took off their robes. Someone ran past and picked them up off of the floor. Trunks and Goten avoided looking at one another. Instead, they tried to block out all the whistles and catcalls that the girls were giving them. Trunks heard Goten snicker. He looked over at his friend.
"Apparently, they like what they see," Goten said. Trunks rolled his eyes.
"I wasn't afraid of that, Goten."
"Boys, stances," their instructor said. They both awkwardly entered their fighting stances. Both looked away from each other, trying not to gag. Then they had to laugh. Their instructor sighed. "On my call."
"Hold on," Trunks said as he got the giggles out of his system. "Okay."
"Ready?" the instructor asked. Both boys nodded. "One. Two. Go!"
Trunks and Goten began sparring... naked. Vegeta and Bulma watched from a high point across the yard. Chichi and Kakarrot were with them. Chichi and Bulma kept giggling while Vegeta and Kakarrot discussed their fighting techniques. Bulma looked at their husbands.
"How can you two concentrate on their fighting with them looking like that?" she asked through her laughter. Vegeta sighed and glared at her.
"It's really simple, woman. You just try not to look. The other females aren't paying attention to them like that. Although they were at the beginning." Vegeta nearly laughed when he saw the evil looks spread across both Bulma and Chichi's faces as they glared down at the girls. "To think that one day one of those females will be the lucky lady for our son," Vegeta said.
"The hell she will. I would prefer it if Trunks married a human girl. These Saiyan girls are too... fast. Did you see those two he was with yesterday? I'm still a little shaken by what the one who was under the water was doing," Bulma said. Chichi raised an eyebrow.
"Underwater? You didn't say anything about one of them being underwater," she said. Bulma told her about Paris. Chichi's eyes widened. "So there's a skank that's tailing after my Goten, huh?" She looked back out at the group of girls.
"Well, we don't have to worry about Gohan. He found a girl on Earth," Kakarrot said. Bulma smiled.
"Really? That's wonderful. What's her name?" Bulma asked happily. Kakarrot looked thoughtfully up at the sky.
"Vagal? Veda? Vega?"
"It's Videl, Bulma. She's Hercule's daughter. You've met her before. But then Hercule shipped her off to some boarding school. Gohan met her at one of your conventions where her school had a tent. Turns out they have a lot in common," Chichi said. She was frowning.
"Uh oh," Bulma said.
"What?"
"You hate her."
"Yeah. She and Chichi don't exactly get along too well. You know how protective Chichi is of the boys and all. She wasn't too friendly when Gohan brought her over," Kakarrot said.
"I just don't think she's right for Gohan. I think since he's half-Saiyan that maybe he should at least try and find a Saiyan girl first. That's all," Chichi said. Vegeta "hmphed."
"I would've reacted the same way. For once, I'm on the harpy's side," he said. Everyone stared at him in shock. Vegeta looked at them all. "What? Can't I agree with her?"
"It's just that you two never see eye-to-eye. Ever," Bulma said. "But, I think Gohan should be able to choose who he wants. He's twenty-one now, right? So, if it works with Videl, it works. If it doesn't then I think he'll probably take your advice."
They looked back out at the sparring naked boys. They were no longer naked, but covered in mud. Trunks threw a punch. Goten ducked it and tripped Trunks up. Trunks put his hands on the ground and used his feet to kick Goten. His aim was a little off and he instead ended up going for his friend's groin. Goten did not dodge in time and was instead hit. He paused immediately. Vegeta and Kakarrot both winced at the mere sight of the blow Goten took.
"Ow," was all Goten could say. Trunks stood up and looked down at his friend.
"Ah, right in the nads. Sorry, guy. I swear I was aiming for your gut," he said. "Let me help you up." He held out a hand. Goten shook his head.
"No. I think I'll just lay here for a moment," Goten said hoarsely. All he could feel was pain. Trunks looked over at their instructor. He was approaching them.
"Well, I guess it's over. The winner!" He raised Trunks' arm. Trunks winced, feeling a bit of pain in his ribs. "Bring their robes. Help Goten up."
Trunks helped Goten off of the ground. Goten managed to get his robe around him. He was still feeling the effects of the blow he took. They made it all the way to the infirmary with Goten being supported by Trunks. While they were getting fixed up, their fathers arrived to see them.
"Did you two learn your lesson?" Kakarrot asked. Trunks and Goten looked over at them. Goten nodded slowly while Trunks just looked away from his father.
"Boy," Vegeta said. Trunks finally shot Vegeta a glare. "A superior asked you a question," he said. Trunks looked over at Kakarrot.
"Yes, sir," he said dryly.
"Good. Next time you'll be doing it in the polar regions. That should be hilarious," Kakarrot said. He looked at Vegeta, who smirked.
"Yes, it should. Shrinkage of epic proportions." The two elder Saiyans left their sons alone. When they were gone, Goten laid down on the infirmary's bed. He held his abdomen.
"Let's never sneak into the palace unless absolutely necessary again," he said. "I don't think I can take another kick like that."
"Yeah," Trunks said. He rubbed his aching side. Then he laughed. "The way you went down was classic though. You kind of just... fell."
"Piss off."
