Thank you for all the reviews and favorite stories. It is greatly appreciated. This is the first story that I'm writing without a beta so it might be a bit off. I do appreciate all the reviews. Good or bad. They are definitely love.
the next few chapters will deal with Tony's thoughts and memories of the past and what happened to make Tony leave and his and Jeanne's relationship.
Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
Ziva smiled despite the less than friendly reception that she received from Tony. She walked past him and into the house, "I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I know how much you loved Jeanne. I…"
Tony sighed, "I loved her once, but obviously she didn't love me and the children enough to work through everything that she was feeling inside."
Tony knew that he owed her answers. They'd been working towards something special when he left. He'd promised her that he would be there when she became a United States citizen. That was just another promise that he was unable to keep. He'd let her down so many times in the past that it just seemed like another failure on his part. So, when he saw Jeanne in Mexico, something inside him seemed to snap. He didn't think twice about inviting her to have dinner with him. When he thought back on it, he realized that maybe things had moved too quickly. Maybe, just maybe, he should have slowed down and remembered what happened the last time. However, he let his heart rule every good sense that he had and just threw caution to the wind.
They were married exactly one week after they reunited. It seemed like heaven at first. So much so that he hadn't even thought twice about sending a letter of resignation to the Director.
Their life had been nearly perfect at least he'd thought that they had the perfect marriage. He guessed he was wrong. Maybe, just maybe this was some sort of payback for what he did to her when they first met. His only regret was that his children would have to be without a mother because of their parents back decisions.
Ziva looked at him and a thousand thoughts went through her mind. She had spent countless hours wondering why he had just simply walked away from everything. At one time, she thought that they had something special, but she was left alone to wonder why he never came back.
After the first year, she accepted that he never loved her. Two years after he left, she met someone and got married only to divorce a mere six month later. She always wondered what would have happened had Tony come back to her from Mexico. Would they have married and lived happily ever after? Would she be a mother by now? She could not say what the future would have held for her. She smiled and watched a thousand different emotions go across his face. She finally asked, "Tim and Abby tell me that the children are beautiful."
Tony smiled, "They are, but I might be biased. At least a little bit."
Ziva smiled and walked over to the mantle where some pictures were sitting. She saw a little girl and boy of about six and an infant of about nine months. She noticed how much the little boy looked like Tony, "He has your eyes and your smile."
"He's my little clone. At least that's what Jeanne used to say. He was her biggest challenge."
Ziva smiled, "If you need anything well, the team is here for you. Just remember that Tony."
He nodded and walked her to the door. There were so many things that he wanted to say to her. So many regrets that he had. He wanted to beg for her forgiveness for leaving like he did. Most of all, he wanted his best friend back. Because despite everything, she had always been the one person he could count on to always have his back. He'd been blinded by love when he left. It caused him to throw away everything that he thought he wanted. He wouldn't change it for the world, because that would mean that he wouldn't have his children, but he wished that he'd chosen a better mother for them.
Tony said none of that and simply nodded, "Thank you Ziva."
She nodded and before she thought about it much further, she hugged him quickly and started for the door. She got about half way there before a blood curdling scream was heard from upstairs. Ziva followed Tony upstairs and into his youngest daughter's room. She was lying in the bed and was covered from head to toe with the remains of her dinner. Tony smiled as he picked her up and carried her into the bathroom.
Ziva noticed how different this Tony was from the Tony that she knew eight years ago. She watched as he carefully cleaned her and put a new diaper on her. Then, he looked at Ziva and asked, "I hate to ask, but would you mind holding her until I can go get some baby Tylenol?"
Ziva held out her hands and took the baby in her arms. She smiled softly at the little girl. Tony hurried back into the room and gave his daughter the medicine. He noticed that Ziva didn't seem to be in any hurry to give her back. Samantha seemed to be content in her arms. She laid her head on Ziva's shoulder and sighed heavily and whimpered a few times and promptly fell back asleep.
Tony had the crib sheets changed and went to take his daughter. Tony smiled at Ziva, "I'll take her now if…"
Ziva silenced him with a look and carried her over to the bed and laid the baby down. She covered her with the blanket and looked down at her for a few seconds. She thought briefly that this could have been their baby. She had no idea where that thought came from, because she wasn't in love with Tony anymore. Or was she? She was suddenly overcome with the need to get out of the house. The memories and feelings that she was having were threatening to overtake her and swallow her whole. She looked at Tony and repeated, "If you need anything Tony. Call me."
Tony nodded and watched as she walked out the door. He wondered and wished that he'd made a thousand different choices over the past eight years. Starting with his choice of woman that was the mother of his children. He knew that no amount of wishing would change anything, but maybe, just maybe, he and Ziva could be friends again.
So, he nodded and said, "I promise I'll call if I need anything. Goodbye Zi."
He bent down and kissed her softly on the cheek. She smiled and walked away and down the driveway to her car.
Tony was happy for the first time in months. He was back with people that loved him. Somehow that seemed like enough for him right now. Maybe he could put the past behind him and start the process of healing….
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