CrazyA: Hey everyone! This is the first chap that I've submitted since I got back from London. So, before anyone asks, it's good to be home.

Joker: Not in my case. Arkham's my home, and it doesn't even have room service. Anyway, for a...bonus point-tah...I have my first real appearance in this lousy fanfic.

CrazyA: Usually, I'd hit you with a shovel until you bleed green, but you're right. It's actually getting good now. Oh, look out for the reference to my fave TDK story 'Eye Candy'. Don't worry, it's not too hard. Kinda obvious, actually... Oh, and if anyone guesses who 'Hilary' really is, than you get a kiss from 'Mistah Jay'.

Joker: HEY! We never agreed on that!

CrazyA: ENJOY!


2. Meeting the Neighbors
'He looked at me and stared. Yes he bumped me, my heart was unprepared...' –I Can Hear the Bells, Hairspray

Kait came around at about twelve o'clock. Unexpectedly, as usual.

"Hey, Noodle-fish!" she said, spotting my cat lying sleepily on the couch. I've had Noodle since I was ten years old. She's really old now and only ever moves to either get her dinner or pee on your shoes. Or to jump on your lap. She's a slinky grey moggy that's impossibly skinny even though I feed her every day. Bizarre, really.

"Your front door was open so I just let myself in," she said with a smile. I looked up at her from my desk, which was planted underneath a window, and smiled back.

"I'm keeping it open so that the fresh air can come in...The fan, unfortunately, is completely shut down," I explained, rolling my eyes. "So that means I'm going to die of heat-stroke."

"I know how you feel," she said, plonking down on the couch. "My place is on boiling point right now. The whole of Gotham is." She looked around the room, a smile on her face. "I notice that all the cardboard boxes have gone. Have you finished unpacking?"

"Yeah, finally," I said, continuing my typing. Meg walked over to my side and looked at what I had on the screen. A couple of lines, nothing much. I had a bit of inspiration from recent events...

Jonathan turned away from me and to his work, his cold eyes still burning a hole inside me. I could swear that my heart was beating faster than it ever had before...It was like the whole world had collapsed on itself, I just didn't know what to do. He continued typing, ignoring my staring eyes. I should've left him there, but a hormone-filled side of me remained firmly put. I remained in my daze right until Hilary grabbed my hand and dragged me to our usual spot in the corner of the library.
"You okay, Jackie? You look like you've seen a ghost or somethin'. Why were you staring at Jono?"

"Interesting..." Kait muttered, reading it over. "What's it about?"

"What all my other books are about. Romance, drama and angst. Plus the occasional wise-crack."

"And who's this Jonathan guy? He sounds dreamy..." she suddenly turned to me, a bright smile on her face. "Did you base him on a real person?"

"Um...yes and no..."

"Oooh! What's he like!?!" she said, squealing. "Wait a minute..." She looked out the window, her eyes going huge. Oh no. This won't be good.

Jack was working in his kitchen, cooking a steak for lunch. His three-quarter sleeves were rolled up, revealing muscled forearms. Kait was staring at him, practically drooling over the toned, strong-looking forearms. To her, they were the best eye-candy in the toffee store.

And boy, were they yummy.

"Who is that?" she asked in her half-awake state of mind. Thank God that he wasn't looking this way, otherwise he'd probably freak out at Kait's expression.

"That's Jack. He's my neighbor-"

"-are you two an item?" she pushed in. I shook my head, looking back at the screen. Her smile grew at that as she cocked her head to the side, watching him work. She was like a horny school-girl...it was kinda sickening. I had to put an end to it.

"He's taken though." I knew without taken my eyes off my computer screen that Kait was disappointed. "He's got a wife named Thalia."

"Is he happy around her?"

"I don't really know...I've never spoken to either of them before. But I hear them fight all the time...however, they always have make-up-sex later."

"And you know this how?"

"Please. Don't. Ask." We were silent for a second, before she suddenly pieced it all together.

"Oh you sly thing!" she said, chuckling. "Little 'Jonathan' is actually Handsome Jack!" I stopped typing for a second, chuckling with her, before retreating back.

"I don't think so, Kait. I don't even know the guy, let alone fancy him!" I thought the conversation was finished, but Kait managed to put it her final word.

"I never said that you fancied him..." I didn't say anything, just blushed slightly and closed down my work. Kait's smile grew, she knew what I was thinking. Jester was begging for me to swipe the smile off her face, but I knew better.

"What did you come for?" I asked, finally looking up at her. She beamed at me and handed over a folded-over, slightly crumpled piece of paper. I opened it up and discovered that it was an invitation to a party. But there was one word that really stood out...

...costumed."I got it from a guy at work who wasn't interested in going. It's plus one, so I was thinking that I could bring someone with me..." she waggled her eyebrows, hinting that she wanted me to go with her. I wasn't really paying attention to her, just to the one word.

...costumed.See, I love costumes. I always have. When I was a teen, I went to conventions with my sister dressed as my favourite characters. I loved getting ready for Halloween, even though we hardly ever went trick-or-treating. I loved my sister's twenty-first, when I was sixteen, and got to wear a full-on masquerade outfit. But there was one outfit I've been dying to make...but I never had the excuse to make it.

"YES!" Jester screamed from the couch. "Yes, yes, yes and yes!! I get to come back out! Say yes now or I'll give you a tumor!" I've always wanted to dress up in Jester's outfit. A black corset...green-and-black skirt that cut just above her knees and poofed out around her...matching jester's cap with bells...black fishnet lining and matching fingerless gloves...black stockings that was dotted with holes...and to top it all off?

Green converse sneakers. High-tops, obviously.

"I'd love to come," I answered at once. It wasn't quite as excited as Jester's answer, but it was nearly as bright. Kait smiled and ruffled my hair before hopping off the desk and walking out the door, waving goodbye.

"It's party time!" Jester screamed, running around the living room. "P-A-R-T-why? Because I gotta!" She was cackling with laughter, practically wetting herself. Meanwhile, I was smiling as brightly as the moon, flying completely over it. I opened up a drawer in my desk and pulled out the phone book. I needed to find a tailor, fast. With an outfit as elaborate as this, it would need heaps of time. I tried as hard as I could to find one, but most of them were way too expensive. Either that or they only made business suits. Either that or both.

"You could always try an adult store tailor..." Jester suggested. I might have no choice, actually...After the expensive-looking ads were about a-dozen-and-one ads with girls in skin-tight outfits. But then I found a tiny add right in the corner. It changed my life completely...

"Hand-Made Rebellions?" I read aloud. Jester popped her head up from the couch.

"Now we're talking..." she said, coming over beside me. She seemed to have calmed down from the announcement and was now focused on getting the dress. I continued reading out the ad, soaking into every word.

"'Costumes of the finest quality, purely for those who demand a difference. We accept any challenge, all made by hand. Phone 7117 0642 for more information.' Sounds pretty good..."

"I think we should give them a call...and remember, what I thin-"

"-what you think I think. I've got it already." I picked up the phone and started dialing the number, waiting for someone on the other side of the line to pick up. Eventually, someone did.

"Hello, who am I speaking to?" a woman asked. She sounded familiar...but I couldn't quite place where from.

"Hi, I'm Jessica Jean. I saw your ad in the phone book and was wondering if you're able to make costume for me."

"Well depends...what did you have in mind?" Seriously, I was sure that I'd heard that voice from somewhere before.

"I need a jester outfit for a party in a few weeks time. I have a particular design in mind, though, so I wanted one custom made. Your ad makes you seem like the perfect option."

"Great! Please visit us tomorrow at sixteen on Simons Street. What time suits you best?"

Wait, what?

"Um...did you say number sixteen on Simons Street?" I asked into the phone. I looked up through my window and saw her on the other side of the glass, talking on her own phone. Her green eyes blinked as she looked through her own, spotting me.

"Yes..."

"Hi. I live next door to you..."

"You're my new neighbor? I was meaning to come round and visit you some time...but I keep getting distracted." Jack and I were the only people who knew what she was really saying.

"This is such a coincidence," I said with a chuckle. "Can I come over and do this face-to-face?" Thalia laughed, still looking at me through the glass.

"Aren't we already? But sure, come on over. We can discuss things properly in the comfort of a living-room." We hung up and I walked out of my house, locking it behind me. Even though I was just going next door, I couldn't be too careful. I knocked on the door, only to have it opened immediately by Thalia.

"Hi!" she said brightly. "I'm Thalia." I already knew who she was, but I pretended that I didn't. After all, eves-dropping isn't exactly a good thing to be doing. Even if you don't have a choice.

"I'm Jess," I said, shaking her hand warmly. I followed her inside, looking around the place in curiosity. I don't know why, but for some reason my heart was pounding. I was scared, but I didn't know what of. I always got these feelings, ever since I was a kid. Whenever I talked I was scared I'd mess up and say something horrible. And if I did I wouldn't talk to the person for the rest of the day. I lost a lot of friendships in high school, let's just say that.

But now, I was scared what to say about this place. It was small and rather bare. No fancy wallpaper, just basic coats of colored paint. It didn't really look like a business...especially one for such an elaborate costume. There was a sewing machine in one room behind a closed door where I could hear someone working. The buzzing noise of the engine buzzed in my ears.

"Do you own the business yourself?" I asked Thalia.

"Yes, but I'm usually out most of the time. So my husband does most of the work in my place." Jack. He would be the one making my outfit. I didn't know whether to call that a good or a bad thing.

"Do you get many customers?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Yes and no. Sometimes we get people coming around Halloween...but most people in Gotham prefer wearing black ties to work instead of black corsets," she chuckled. I sat down on the sofa, noticing some stains buried in the material. I didn't mention anything about them, but Thalia seemed to know what I was thinking by the look she gave me.

"So you do make corsets?" I asked to change the subject.

"Yes and no. We know a person who sells corsets that we just stitch any other material onto. You said you have a specific idea in mind," Thalia said. "Have you got any sketches I could use?"

"I have a few drawings at home: I could bring them over some other time." That's when I noticed something...she was rather dressed-up. Tight red halter-neck top and skinny-leg jeans, red high-heels and her brown hair straightened. Plus red lip-stick that was brighter than the moon.

"Are you going out somewhere?" I asked her. She looked down at her outfit and smiled back at me.

"I-I'm going out for dinner in about twenty minutes..." she finally answered. It was a lie, I knew that at once. She was going out for another gamble. Jester wanted to tell her to stop this addiction. To tell her how much it must be hurting Jack. But I knew better.

"I'll get out of your way then if you have to go soon. But I'll come back tomorrow with the sketches, okay?" I asked, receiving a head-nod as a reply. I shook her hand and walked down the hall, prepared to let myself out. But, of course, I was daft enough to bump straight into an open door. I fell backward from shock, landing firmly on my own arse with an 'oof'. I rubbed my nose, which was the first thing to hit the door, before attempting to stand up.

"You're a clumsy one, aren't you?" said a voice above me.

"Well it doesn't help if doors open without any warning straight into my face..." I snapped back. When I'm in pain, I tend to get a bit snappy. I stood up, feeling woozy from the hit, and tripped forwards over my own feet.

"Careful there, beautiful. A sharp tongue could get you into trouble," the stranger said as he stopped my fall, catching me by my holding tightly onto my shoulders. I finally looked up at my savior, only to recoil from him.

"And we don't want any trouble, do we?" Jack. He seemed more rugged up close. His haunting brown eyes caught my attention again, and it was hard to look away. But I managed to with the help of one thing...

...One long, crazy scar that went from the left corner of his mouth that stretched across the side of his face. It was almost in the form of a smile...It looked like it had tried healing over, but Jack must've picked at it or something like that to keep it looking hoarse.

"N-No...we don't..." I finally replied. I wasn't stammering because of the scar, it was the fact that he was gripping onto my shoulders. I'm not the best around guys...whether I like them or not. He let me go and I stood on my two feet, regaining consciousness. I walked past him and towards the door, twisting the handle and pulling it open.

"Tell your blonde friend I say 'hi'..." he added before walking over to see Thalia. I paused in my tracks, freaking out for a second. He saw Kait? Does he always look through my window? Does he know that I do? If he was trying to scare me, I didn't show that it worked. I just turned around, gave a smile, said that I would, and walked out the door.

Jack walked over to Thalia, knowing exactly what she was up to. She was going out again...Where she went, Jack didn't know, but she knew what happened once she got there. One day she was going to get hurt...and he wouldn't know what to do when that day comes. Thalia was already on her way out when he walked in. She stood up, kissed him goodbye and reached the door in swift movements so that he didn't get a chance to argue.

"Thalz, don't do this..." he called after her. She stood in the open doorway and looked back at him, staring for a few minutes before replying as she always did.

"Jack, you really have to smile more..."

And with that, she was gone.