Hey guys,

Here is the latest one. I hope you enjoy. It's still experimental at this stage and as you can probably guess I like to put my own spin on things.

I must first state that while I love the 40K universe, I find there is so little lore on any of the main gods or deities I can't really tell how accurate these portrayls are. I guess that is up to you to determine.

Without further ado...

TZEENCH

Ah so you made it.

Right on schedule too. I did not want you to come, but I knew you would. Please, step into my office.

Disconcerting isn't it? Trying to track a voice with no origin, allow me to help; I'm on your left.

….Your other left…That's it.

Hi.

I apologise for staying in the shadows. I am not one for the light, especially in company. Nothing personal. Try focusing on the hood, it helps.

I never expected you of all people to make it to my labyrinth. Nothing has ever made it to me unless I allowed it. Then again, things change.

Hahaha. I'm sorry it is bad joke. You probably would not understand. Tell me, how did you make it through my maze?

…Ah it doesn't matter.

I must declare your trip might have been in vain. I know why you are here, and I'm afraid that I cannot help you. Where you see answers, all I have are questions. You come here for truth, but all I have here are secrets and lies. You truly cannot trust your surroundings, much less what I say.

Besides I'm far too busy doing nothing. This isn't even my office.

Still you are company, and I like company. It is a change of pace compared to my usual seclusion, I am not much of a social deity like Slaanesh or Nurgle.

How about a nice game of chess? Want to play?

...Come on, who else could say they had a game with Tzeench? Exactly, friggin no one.

So have a game; guests get the first move so you get white.

….Hmm, decent opening. My turn.

…I can see this might take a while. Where was I? Ah yes, your appearance in my office. Here to talk, or to listen?

But I do not see how anything we might discuss would in fact be taken on board; everything here is a lie. You think that impressive mahogany desk is actually here? You think the carpet you stand on is Octorian Silk? You think my ceiling actually contains a detailed map of the galaxy? You think I am actually here? You think you are playing chess with chess pieces like that pawn in your fingers? You're silly.

… en passant? Huh.

I must wonder though, how was your trek to my office? Was it confusing and maddening? Did it take a thousand years for you to make it or only a few seconds? Was it a test of your skills in predicting and calculating fifth dimensional walls moving through the space time continuum? Did it fry your brain trying to solve the logic puzzles that I created with a specific paradoxical loop? Was it a challenge unlike anything you have ever faced and most likely ever will?

Or was it as simple as poking a mouse or touching a key? Haha. Sorry; bad joke.

Nice block by the way.

But isn't that what I am? A bad joke? Something that stopped being funny or perhaps was never funny in the first place. Something so painful and irritating that the very mention of my name causes painful groans and frustrated howls. But isn't that the nature of change? Painful and irritating?

Not so. I remember a time when change was not painful, or irritating. Quite the opposite in fact. You were all so different way back in the day; humans I mean. Before your precious Emperor came along and made you so dull. There was a time of great change, technology, sociology papers. I recall the time you created a proton accelerator…

A Large Hadron Collider? You know, a big thing that throws atoms?

….Ugh look it up. Read a book, if you can find one that has not been burnt by now.

Anyhow, there was major debate as to the nature of what would happen? What would the consequences be if such a strange and wonderful machine was ever used? This is why hundreds of your scientists wrote papers with boring titles such as 'Will Relativistic Heavy-ion Colliders Destroy Our Planet?' I thought I could chalk it up to another boring race who won't do anything interesting.

….Awww, so long my little knight; I will miss you so!

But then your people's rebuttals to such arguments was basically, "Let's turn it on and find out!", and you did. I was never more proud; you saw risk and decided to go for it, you were rewarded with a level of technological superiority beyond your imagination. That is when I knew you humans were something special.

But…things changed, didn't they?

You humans don't like change anymore do you? Of course not; it is a terrifying thing to even consider. There is a certain comfort in stagnation, isn't there? Although change could lead to good outcomes, they could just as easily lead to bad.

But what is bad? Or good?

Did you know, once upon a time mass slaughter and Exterminatus was considered wrong? I know, I was shocked too. My how things have changed…

Bad and good are just concepts and semantics; one man's joy is another man's torture. But would anyone know if it was bad or good unless they bothered to try. Didn't your mother always say that you should try new things? You might even like it.

That is why Nurgle and I never got along. Nurgle's obsessed with the past and everything being the same. That is how he likes things; simple, easy, constant…and completely boring. That would actually be the perfect way to describe that fat bloated carcass; boring. Boring Nurgle. Nurgle the Bore. I like that. I think I'll keep that.

…'Me' you ask? What about me? That is the question isn't it…what about me? Well, why don't you take a guess…come on, don't be shy. Heck guess correctly I'll even spare your rook which is dangerously close to my bishop.

…'the future'…ooh! So close! But so far.

Say 'bye-bye' to your rook: Yoink!

The future is mysterious and unknown, leading to paths you have not even considered. Sounds like me, right?

Wrong; because change does not take place in the future.

'Where' you ask? In the present of course! The future merely contains the result of change. Right now at this moment thousands of things are changing. The circumstances of the past lead to a precise moment where something is going to do things differently. They are going to choose to make a change.

Maybe a flower is going to evolve to combat its ecosystem.

Or a general has decided to retreat, when orders tell him to advance.

These moments are happening right now as we speak. Little moments where something different is going to happen, the story is going to deviate. Change will be made, whether it be good or bad.

Change is what gives me strength, but it could just as easily cripple me. But that is why change is a glorious prospect!

But change for all its strength, is nothing without the desire. Contrary to popular belief, I am not all powerful. I cannot force change to occur, it is the people scurrying around like ants that truly make things come to fruition. Conversely I could be lying, like I said; you can't trust what I say.

…well, I wasn't using that rook anyway.

Where was I? The will to change? That sounds about right. Take the Anathema for instance. He did not want the Imperium to turn out this way. But did he do anything to change its course? No. He just sits around….

Haha. Sorry; bad joke.

Seriously, he did nothing to change its direction. He saw it and just allowed the ship to crash into an iceberg…or a neutron star. Whatever. The point still stands. Look at what happened to the Imperium, ten thousand bloody years of not changing. Just look at them.

Having trouble imagining? Here look at the map on the wall over there. Right there, see it? The strange and ever changing colours? But notice how it is in the Eastern Fringe of the Galaxy? The West, dull, black and boring. The East, alive with conflict, ambition, treachery and of course a big ass war. But the West? Stagnant. Any change, much less the potential for change is stomped out by humanity's fear and paranoia. I swear you people need to learn to live a little. That may sound racist, but that is because it is.

You might want to watch that knight of yours. The map may look pretty but we have a game going on here. Not that you may not care, you are up by two points.

But back to Anathema, you know he is my adversary now, he's an adversary to all of Chaos. But he was a champion of change once upon a time – Ah! Jerk! You took my bishop…hohoh I'll get you for that.

But once the so called 'God-King' started seeing what could happen, he panicked. He did the very thing he should not have done, he stopped change. When things stop changing they stagnate, and once that happens Nurgle takes control and I am left in the metaphysical boondocks with my thumb up my ass.

Oh, you little….'check' my ass! Ugh fine…

Where was I? Oh yes…Change was important to survive, look at the Eldar, they stopped changing and now they are a bunch of space gypsies wandering around the galaxy.

Necrons are boring as shit; 'Hey you! 'Bzzap!'

Ah! Got your knight! Wait…did you take my other knight? *sigh*

Tryanids…well those guys are a spanner in the works but hey, that makes things all the more fun.

Orks? Ha! Those guys could not care less about advancement. I got to give Gork and Mork credit where it's due, they're dumber than stone but they are at least entertaining.

The current favourite for me is the Tau, those little buggers have got something special about them. Just like you humans used to have. Only their entire culture is based on change, they see something better they take it, and if they can't they adapt so they can. They change not only their surroundings but themselves.

But despite humanity's fall from grace, I still have high hopes. Sure you are stuck in a never ending cycle, circling the drain to your imminent doom, worshipping some wannabe Messiah who can't even blink and all while fighting an entire galaxy of foes…But hey, things change.

Case in point; our little chess game. You got me on the ropes, I seem completely defeated, I'm…what's that…oh is that a pawn that has escaped your notice…oh what a shame! You were so close to beating me. But as I said before and say it with me now:

'Things change!'

Well Queen me…aaaannndddd…check and mate. Oh what fun!

Now, now, I know you thought about your moves carefully, at least I think you did. But you know the rumours about me. They are probably rattling around your mind as we speak. I know you are too polite to voice what you are thinking, so I'll do it for you.

'Did I genuinely win or was it all a set up? Did we have an honest game or did I cheat?' Such good questions…

But the real question you have to ask, and I am sure will irritate you to no end, is this: would you believe me if I gave you the answer?

….well it's been a real time and a half, but you know the saying 'time flies when you're having fun'. Fun indeed; I hope you enjoyed our little talk.

Haha! I say 'talk', I was doing most of the oratory. But I must say you were a good listener.

I'm sure you can find your way out, after all you managed to find your way in. Try to ignore the paradoxical loop; that will make things easier.

I hope you take what I said on board; doing things differently I mean. You will probably wake up tomorrow morning and do the same mundane thing. But I hope that you will do something different; go left instead of right, have a different brand of tea, eat somewhere else…something…anything...

Then again, maybe you shouldn't listen; secrets and lies remember?

I doubt we'll see each other again, but if we do I hope you will be generous when I come to you and say…

'Got any spare change?'

Haha. Sorry; bad joke.

0o0o0o

Well there it is. I hope you enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun with this one.I cannot guarantee when the next one will come out (if there is a next one), but I'll see what I can do.

Review as always. Take care.