Disclaimer: Don't own 'em - not making any money off 'em. Dern it.
Notes: Lots of dialogue in this one.
I'm going to try to get out a chapter a week, but I'm not making any promises.
Chapter 2
Buffy arrives at L.A. at night. She doesn't waste time. Hoping Spike is at Wolfram & Hart, she tells the taxi the address.
She stands outside and takes a deep breath. She enters the building and her shoulders slump. She had hoped that she would see Spike as soon as she entered. She has only been to Wolfram & Hart once, right after Sunnydale, and she had been in too much of a catatonic daze to actually look around. She has no idea where Spike would even be.
She walks through the foyer and spots a girl she vaguely recognizes. "Fred?" Buffy asks tentatively, hoping she's right about the name.
"Buffy!" There's pleased shock in her voice. Fred comes to her and envelopes her in a hug. "It's so nice to see you."
Buffy returns the hug and says, "It's nice to see you too, but I'm here to see someone."
Fred pulls back. "Angel's out right now, but you can wait –"
"I'm not here to see Angel," Buffy interrupts. "I want to see Spike, and don't you dare tell me he's not here."
"He's not –"
"I know he's alive!" Buffy interrupts harshly.
Fred shakes her head. "I meant he's not here as in he's out with Angel."
"Oh." Suddenly Buffy feels very foolish that she snapped at Fred. It isn't the young scientist's fault that she's on edge. "Can I wait for him?"
Fred nods. "He usually debriefs in Angel's office if you want to wait there?"
"I would like to see him for the first time without Angel being present if that's at all possible."
"Well, he almost always visits me in my lab afterwards. You can come keep me company if you want."
Buffy nods and when they enter Fred's space, she goes over to a chair that's by the door. "I'll stay out of your way."
They're quiet as Fred works. Buffy watches. She had never been very into science, but it's obvious that Fred is good in what she does. She's intent and focused. Her hands don't shake and her gaze doesn't wander.
She's not sure how much time has passed when she hears a knock on the door before it opens. Buffy holds her breath when the familiar voice washes over her. "Fred, Fred, Fred."
Buffy stands up and his eyes immediately find hers. He pauses and his mouth opens and then shuts. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices Fred finally lose focus on her experiment as she gets ready to watch their reunion.
Buffy moves to stand in front of him; her eyes drink him in as she swallows. He's still so gorgeous that it aches to see him, especially after thinking he was dead for so long.
Within a blink of an eye, she pulls her fist back and punches him in the nose. She ignores Fred's gasp of surprise and then pulls his neck down for a deep kiss. Her lips devour his as her tongue plunges into his mouth. She moans into the kiss when Spike's arms come around her, holding her close to his body.
She breaks the kiss and finishes their embrace off with a couple of chaste pecks to his lips and cheeks. When they completely break apart, she pulls her fist back and punches him one last time.
"What the bloody hell?" Spike yells, holding his nose.
Buffy crosses her arms and taps her foot. "The first punch was for not believing me when I told you that I loved her. The kiss was because I missed you. The second punch was for not telling me you weren't dust. Now that we have that cleared up, do you have anything to say for yourself? And you better make it good," she warns.
"Andrew told you?"
Buffy smiles, but it's not a happy one. "Wrong. He told Willow because he knew she'd tell me. Technically, he didn't go against your order."
"I didn't realize the little bastard was so sneaky.
"The real question is why I had to hear it from Willow at all."
"Buffy..."
"Spike, please. Tell me why you didn't let me know you were back. Do you have any idea what I've been through the last few months?"
Spike looks at the floor. "I didn't think you would care."
Buffy clenches her fists at her side. "If that's true, then you don't know me as well as you have always claimed." She shoulders pass him, needing to get away from him.
She had been so eager to see him, mostly blaming Giles and Angel. She has finally realized that no one forced him to keep it a secret. If he had wanted to see her, he would have. He has always done whatever he wanted.
Her heart hurts at the thought that he really didn't want to see her. 'Maybe he doesn't love me anymore.' She does her best to hold back the tears that want to fall at the very idea. She really feels like a fool.
"Buffy, wait!"
She ignores him, rushing to get away. She should have never come here. It's obvious now.
"Buffy, stop!" He grabs her arm, whirling her around to face him. "It's obvious I made a huge mistake. I thought I was doing what was best for you by staying away. I'm sorry if I was wrong."
"Doing what was best for me?! Do you know how sick I am of hearing people say they know what's best for me? They treat me as if I'm a child too stupid to know what's right for me. You were the one who never did that. You were blunt with your honesty. You told me your opinion, but ultimately, you let me make my own decisions. And if I was wrong, you helped me clean up the mess. The fact that you did this..." She shakes her head. "You decided you knew what was best for me, without even thinking about what I might want."
"I did think about what you would want," Spike argues. "I thought about all of our bad history, every bad thing that I had ever done to you. I was told you moved on, and I thought if I showed up, I would just dredge up all of those bad memories. And if you had moved on, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you with my presence."
Buffy bites her bottom lip. When she tastes the tanginess of blood, she knows she has bitten too hard. Spike's eyes dilate as they zero in on her lip before he shakes it off. "Fine. Angel told you I moved on – and don't even say it wasn't Angel – and you believed him. I'm not exactly sure when you started listening to Angel, but fine. I'll accept that. I don't think that was the whole truth about why you stayed away, though." The warning is clear in her voice.
Spike's gaze is intense as he stares into her eyes. "You're right. I was afraid. If I came to you, and you told me that you moved on and you didn't want me to be a part of your life anymore, even if only as a friend, it would have broken my heart. I didn't want to risk the rejection so I told myself staying away was for your own good. And Angel's words helped me believe it."
"You thought I would want you to leave me alone. You actually thought I would tell you that."
"It wouldn't have been the first time," Spike is quick to point out defensively.
"After everything we went through that last year, if you thought I could actually say that to you..." She shakes her head and closes her eyes, pain infusing her whole being at Spike's doubt of her feelings.
Then she remembers. 'Of course Spike doubts it. I waited until he was dying to tell him that I loved him. And the day before, he saw me playing tonsil hockey with my first love. Why should he believe anything different?'
She reaches up and presses her hand against his cheek. "Spike, I meant it that day when I told you it for the first time. And the words are just as true now. I love you."
Spike opens his mouth, but the next word she hears doesn't come from him.
"Buffy!?" She turns her head and sees Angel standing there with his mouth gaping open, undeniable fury in his eyes.
She automatically drops her hand in her shock.
"Bloody Hell," Spike mutters.
