Daño
Antonio had managed to ask Adrian about everything that happened with her since he had left before she could even get a word out. She didn't want to tell him the truth. She wanted to say that things had been ok. That she hadn't gotten played by Ricky, or slept with so many guys, or lost her baby, or ruined one of the best relationships of her life by being insensitive to the father of her baby. She wanted to pretend things were perfect, but staring into Antonio's honest green eyes, she couldn't do that.
So she started to cry. She told him about everything. She told him about finding out about her father, how he had come back into her life. She told him about Amy and Ricky and what her own mother had been up too. She told him about Max, Omar, Dante, Henry and Ben. And her body shook violently with tears as she started to talk about Mercy. She thought that she was stronger than this, but at the moment she didn't feel like she was.
She didn't want to think about the past. Because her past was a big mistake in her eyes, and she hated every minute of it. Antonio looked at Adrian with all the shock in the world, "It's ok Adrian...It's ok."
She cried, "No it's not! I screwed up my whole life!"
He held her close to his body and sighed, "Adrian there's still time."
"Time?"
"Time to get your life together. If I've learned anything from cancer it's that there's always time...You were always strong Adrian. Remember when I told you I was leaving for cancer treatment? You didn't dare let yourself cry in front of me. And now you're telling me that you're not strong enough to get back on your feet and have a fresh start?"
She could feel her sobs becoming quieter as she drew in deep and steady breaths. She grabbed the palm of his hand and he could feel that hers was shaking. He wondered just how long she had kept all of this pain and suffering to herself, "Antonio...after Mercy I just...I mean I was already bad and then I just...I fell apart. That wasn't me being strong, letting her death get to me."
"Adrian anyone who's still here after the death of their baby is strong in my eyes. Yes, maybe you didn't handle it well at the time. Adrian you were hurting. Todo en la vida va a ser difícil la diferencia es la forma en que te enfrentas a esos tiempos difíciles. Sé que Adrian, usted puede hacer esto."
He wiped her tears away with his thumb and she let out a dark chuckle, "Gracias. Le falté Antonio."
"I missed you too Adrian."
"You haven't changed a bit you know that?"
He chuckled nervously, "I don't know about all that. There's a lot of things that have changed about me since the last time we saw each other Adrian. I guess it's a part of growing up, but I was going through some tough times myself."
"I bet. What happened anyway Antonio? I thought I would never see you again but here you are..."
She laid her head on his shoulder and he started telling her everything.
"The cancer treatment was long and hard..." She looked up at him and noticed that he hadn't finished his sentence. There were tears in his eyes and they were dropping onto his perfectly tan skin.
"It was so much therapy that it drove me insane. I hated the doctors looking at me like I was sick, because I didn't feel sick at all. I felt great, fine, like I could come back and see you Adrian. But they kept telling me that I wasn't fine...They kept saying that I had problems, that I could...die. And I didn't want to die by cancer, so I tried finding other ways."
Before she could open her mouth to ask him what he meant, he rolled up his blue sweatshirt as he looked at anything else but Adrian. Her eyes widened as she noticed the giant scars marked in X's all over his arm. She touched them and he flinched so she pulled away quickly, "You cut yourself?" Her voice was dark and straightforward but inside she was screaming. How could he do this to himself?
"Like I said...I had my own problems Adrian, just like you. When the doctors found out I had to be placed in a special room where I couldn't find anything to hurt myself. I had tried hanging myself, and running into the walls, but nothing ever worked. I don't know, it must have been a miracle."
"I'm so sorry Antonio."
"Don't be. I did it to myself. I guess I wasn't strong enough either," he gave her a half smile but she couldn't bring herself to do the same. She just continued looking at his scars.
"You can touch them Adrian...if you want to, I know I flinched before but..."
Hesitantly she did touch them. His scars were like terrible art work, each scar held some type of painful memory and Adrian could feel her eyes watering. Antonio was someone that she cared too much about to even think of him doing something like this. She looked back up at him, "But eventually you were cured of your cancer and things got better right?"
He didn't answer her.
"Do you think we could out somewhere?" he asked.
"Um yeah, sure."
Adrian was so confused as to why he wasn't answering her. He was acting weird and she didn't like it but she figured he would tell her everything once they got to wherever they were going.
Ok so I lied it's going to be a three-shot. The next chapter will be the last one. Sorry this was kind of short but thanks for reading!
