"CHRISTINE! CHRISTINE WAKE UP!"
My body is shaking, juddering as the images of me and Erik disappear into oblivion.
"What?" I snap; opening my eyes to find Meg bouncing on my bed.
"You sleep like the dead!" she giggled, her curly blonde hair flapping up and down on each bounce, "Come on! Raoul and Thomas will be here soon!"
She jumped off my bed and bolted to my wardrobe, grabbing the first dress she sees.
I grumble curses towards Meg as I reluctantly leave my warm cocoon, as well as the stomach squirming dream...
It was a good one too, more was to happen. I was meant to be carried off into our bedroom and ravished on! A very good ravishing if I do say so! Curse Meg for spoiling it!
And also, if I had carried on with the dream, then I would be able to handle tonight's upcoming one.
A shudder passes through me as I walk towards my bathroom. Oh dear tonight's dream will be awful; I hate that dream. It's the one that marks the end; not only in the pattern, but my life...well, the life in my dreams anyway.
I inspect myself by the bathroom mirror to try and distract the torturous images flashing through my minds eye. Luckily Meg comes skipping in, she's a very good distraction.
"Why were you smiling in your sleep then?" she teased, she too checking her reflection, "Where you having a pleasant dream?"
"You could say that," I mutter, now brushing the angry knots off my thick hair, "But unfortunately it didn't get far as I thought the world was coming to an end."
Meg giggled, "Sorry Chris, but we're already running late as it is, I overslept and the boys will be here in 10 minutes."
"That's your fault then isn't it? You shouldn't have invited them over the morning after the performance!"
"They're our fiancés Christine! I couldn't say no could I?"
"I could've," I mumble; shoving my toothbrush into my mouth.
"You're such a grump first thing in the morning; I shall miss that when we part ways." Meg sighed smiling, washing her face with a flannel.
"What you mean part ways?" I ask muffled, in mid-brush, staring blankly at her through the mirror.
"When we marry silly! Raoul will now be the lucky one to see you in your moods."
Oh yeah, marriage, how could I forget? I raise my left hand to look at the ring that has claimed me.
"My, my Christine, I sometimes wonder if you're even aware that you're engaged." Meg joked.
"I am!" I scold, putting my hand back to my side; the weight of the ring somehow heavy. "It's just easy to forget that's all."
"Easy to forget? You're going to marry a millionaire Christine! I man with a title!" Meg laughed in amazement, "And you coming from nothing will suddenly have everything!"
"Money isn't everything Meg." I spat, setting my toothbrush down and washing my face by the taps. "And besides, you too are marrying someone with a title."
"And I don't forget about it!" she proclaimed smugly.
"Really?" I say sarcastically, drying my face with a towel. "So you didn't forget about it last night when you were fluttering your eye lashes at Victor backstage?"
Meg's eyes widened but her lips held a mischievous smirk to them, "There's no harm in some flirting; Thomas does it all the time."
I roll my eyes and leave the bathroom, seeing the pale blue dress Meg chose for me lying on my bed waiting to be worn.
There are two doors in mine and Meg's room. One that conjoins our room so that we can enter either without difficulty, and the other, I call the front door, that enters the landing to the other rooms in the accommodation we live in. The place is small, but it has the essentials; a bathroom, a kitchen and a bed.
Meg runs past me to enter her room to change.
The moment I've tied my hair in a bun, the front door knocks,
"Miss Armitage!" cackles the maid, "Master Osborne has arrived, he is waiting outside."
She then screams the same message to Meg about Thomas.
Typical Raoul, he hates where me and Meg live. He has never entered my room for fear of catching the plague. I agree it can be dark, smelly and extremely cold during winter, but I don't find it that bad, the building has character, plus it's near the theatre were we work as dancers. And with our wage it's all we can afford.
The tenants in the building aren't that bad either; mainly keep themselves to themselves, though some can be loud at night.
Meg and I are lucky that we have conjoined rooms, whenever either is scared or lonely we just walk on in for company.
Me and Meg leave the building to see waiting for us on the bottom steps our dashing fiancés.
"Hello my sweet," greets Raoul with a showy smile.
I smile in return, though not as pronounced.
We kiss as we meet and he takes my arm, "Breakfast then?" thus begins the regular path to his favourite cafe for morning meals.
"Is that where you're going to tell them about your news?" Thomas asks knowingly from behind.
"What news?" me and Meg ask in curious unison.
Raoul laughed and turned to me, "News that will make you love me more if that's possible."
"What news!" I shake Raoul's arm persistently.
Raoul taped the side of his nose, "Now my sweet, it can wait til after we're fed, I'm starving."
OOOOOOOOOOO
"Explain it all again." I request; my throat's dry and my eyes feel like they are about to pop. I must have misinterpreted Raoul, he can't be saying what I think he's saying!
Raoul chuckled and took my hands into his own, his light brown eyes so sincere, "I've been doing some research on your father for a while now Christine, I know how much you've wanted to find out information about him. I've written letters everywhere trying to find something even if it's small just to gain a smile on your face. Imagine my surprise when I received a letter this morning telling me that he has living associates in England in a city called Carlisle! We can meet them Christine! They can give you knowledge about your father! To perhaps even tell you stories about him!"
"Oh Christine!" gushed Meg, "Isn't that wonderful!"
Wonderful? To Meg maybe, but to me it's a bloody miracle! A miracle so rare I daren't try and believe it.
"But how is that possible Raoul?" I croak hoarsely, "All I knew is his name! There must be hundreds, perhaps thousands of men in the world with the same name as his! I know nothing of where he or myself came from! How could you have figured this out?"
"Christine, you speak English even though you live in Paris and have done so for the majority of your life, what more proof do you need when you have your accent!" laughed Raoul dismissively. "Obviously you came from somewhere in England as a child, and your accent and language stuck. From that I wrote to my contacts in the British Government and voila! Count Leonard Armitage is found!"
"But a Count Raoul, how can that be? I've barely a penny to my name!" I take my hands from Raoul and grab my napkin from the table, twisting and turning it in my grip, having the need to release my pain and confusion onto something.
"He must've died unexpectedly, not giving him the opportunity to leave anything to you in his will." he said as if the suggestion is unimportant, "Either that or family of his wanted nothing to do
with you therefore not giving him the right to leave such royalties for you."
"And what of her mother?" asked Meg wide eyed.
Raoul shook his head, "I'm afraid I know nothing of her. It appears your parents never married," looking back at me, "If so then his government records would have stated it. I was lucky enough to find clarification that he was a Count. All his records state are his title, name and an address in Carlisle where staff of his reside."
"Staff surely can't still be living there!" I said, "When he died they must've been moved to work somewhere else!"
"Maybe, but from the records it says that they are still there and I am going to go by the records, they would've been updated upon his death." said Raoul unwavering. He placed a hand on my shoulder, meeting me dead in the eyes and said encouragingly, "We'll never know unless we go Christine, this can be your chance to find out things about him. And if we find out nothing, at least we know we tried, right?"
He had a point, I'd be forever thinking 'what if' if I don't attempt to find any knowledge of my father. One should never look back in regret.
I give a consenting nod to Raoul hearing Meg squeal in delight; a nod not only to consent in this investigation, but a nod to consent my heart a chance to hope.
From the first moment I was told my father's name, I've been desperate to find out about him. My mother not so much but not out of malice or unkindness, but because I know literally nothing of her. I do think about her though; I wonder what she looked like or if I have inherited some of her traits. But at least with my father I know his name, and that he gave me his surname; he must've loved me if he did that.
Ironically in my dreams, though I am a different person and living in a different world with friends that are not Meg, as well as loving a man that is not Raoul, I even then have the sense that my father loved me dearly, that I knew him. Sadly I can't picture a face to his name, not even a made up one.
I know it's unhealthy to mix dreams with reality, to forever hope that part of your dreams can come true, but those dreams have always been there for me. Those dreams help keep me going when things get rough, those dreams remind me that I am loved and I had adventures even though they're imaginary.
I take comfort to the face that those dreams will never leave me; they have been in my subconscious thoughts, ever since I can remember; the same dreams, in the same order. Some may be frightened by that, and I admit when I realised I did too, but now I find them extraordinary, that I have the privilege of recounting my dreams as if they were memories.
