Edited 7/12/16
I woke uncomfortable and I shifted, silently cursing my bed for being so damn lumpy when I heard the rustling sound of paper. What?
I jolted and my eyes shot open and I noticed was I was not in my bedroom back home, as evident by the stone ceiling. Huh?
My head snapped around as I shot up in the bed. It was a small room and I was on a cot in the center, covered in a coarse blanket. Solas was in a chair to the side of the bed, closing his book and grabbing his staff which glowed a little as he eyed me cautiously. I stared at him- at SOLAS!- as my brain completely failed to understand.
"How are you feeling?" He asked in his recognizable voice.
I felt my eyes go wide as I stared, completely taken aback. This couldn't be real. The last thing I remember was being shot, dying, and then collapsing in front of a bunch of fictional characters. Remembering the gunshots I looked down at my chest. I wasn't wearing what I remembered, but a pair of old and dirty tunic and leggings that could have been purple once. Yep. Definitely not the tank top and sweats I remember putting on.
I pulled aside the collar and saw two twisted red scars, right where I had been shot. I blinked. What is going on? How can this be happening? I couldn't stop my breath from quickening. I was beginning to feel a little hysterical. Clearly, I have lost my mind. I scrambled from the cot, quickly backing away from Solas, my eyes darting around the room. I was going into full-on panic mode.
What the hell!?
Solas clearly saw that I was panicking. Which really didn't help because fictional characters shouldn't be able to see your panic. They shouldn't see anything!
I backed away from him till I bumped the wall, my breath coming in rough gasps that seemed to echo through my head. He held up his hands in a peaceful gesture.
"I won't hurt you. Please remain calm."
I continued to stare at him. What could I tell him? I am Shae from another world where we play with your lives and I know all about you? Panic continued to rise in my throat and I could feel my heart racing. I had to get out of here. My rational thoughts were telling me that it was probably a dream; that I would wake up soon and not to panic. But this was like no dream I had ever had before.
The panicking side of me pushed aside my logic, and all I knew was that I had to get out of here right now. I gasped and bolted for the door. Solas grabbed my arm tightly and tried to pull me back but my instincts kicked in, and my elbow connected sharply with his face. He grunted and let me go in shock. Without turning to see what kind of damage I had done, I ran.
Yanking open the door, I was faced with two surprised guards who blinked owlishly at me. I grabbed them both by the collar and slammed their heads together hard. I jumped over their slumped bodies and sprinted down the hallway. I didn't know where I was going but I was going there now.
Am I in Skyhold?
I turned a corner in the darkened corridor, ignoring the shout behind me. I pushed open another door and skidded to a halt, unable to keep my mouth from falling open as I stared around me. I was in Skyhold's courtyard, near the tavern and Cassandra's practice dummies. Seeing Skyhold, real and in front of me, sent a new wave of panic through me and I couldn't hold back the strangled cry that ripped from my throat. People all around stopped and stared at my outburst. I couldn't bear it. I started running again, straight for the gates. I had to get out of here. Away from these people that shouldn't be real. Away from this place. I heard a shout behind me. Suddenly guards were rushing me, to try and stop my escape. As they came at me, my years of training kicked in like instinct, and I welcomed it.
They seemed reluctant to use their weapons on me, but I could disarm them anyway. My martial arts was a part of me. As my mind reeled with panic, my body responded immediately and effortlessly to the threat. I kicked and punched and dodged my way through the guards. Some I just shoved away from me, others I managed to incapacitate. I couldn't think, and only had one goal in mind: to get away.
The gate loomed above me when I felt huge hands grab my arms and shove me hard to the ground, and a knee pressed into my spine.
"Let me go! Let me go! I have to get out of here! I should be dead! This isn't real!"
I felt tears streaming down my face into the dirt as I struggled but I couldn't move, or even see who was holding me. I gasped and stopped struggling. It was no use. I tried to just breath, resting my forehead in the dirt with my eyes closed, my hair falling smoothly around me. I focused on my breath. In and out.
I had to regain my composure.
"What the hell? Isn't this the one you found in the Hinterlands?"
I could hear Iron Bull's voice above me, and even feel the rumble of it through his body. No wonder I couldn't throw him off.
"Yeah. Damn. Maybe we should take her to the dungeon, Bull. And by we I mean you." Sean. My Inquisitor again.
"Please let me go." I said again. Still just barely managing to control my panic.
"What language is she speaking?" Bull asked.
I twitched a little at the question. What?
"Sounds sort of like elven. Maybe? Anybody seen Solas? Ah, There he is."
I turned my face slowly out of the dirt. My hair was all over the place but I could still see somewhat through the strands. Sean was standing in front of Bull and I, and around us soldiers were slowly picking themselves up with groans and glares in my direction. Sean had turned to the side and I saw Solas walk into my view next to him. He was wiping blood away from his face with a cloth, but I couldn't see any wounds. Maybe he healed himself? I had forgotten about my shot to his face.
"She got you too, huh?" Sean held back a grin as he teased Solas, who smirked a little.
"Yes, she was very fast, and I honestly didn't expect any violence from her." Solas said. Bull laughed and shifted slightly above me.
"Well yeah. Look at her. She's tiny." I shifted against his hold and grumbled quietly, calm enough to feel a little insulted.
Bull tightened his grip and I winced as he wrenched my shoulder, and his knee ground into my spine.
"Hey hey. No movement from you, lady." He said with warning in his tone.
Irritated and embarrassed at this conversation being held around me while my face was being pushed into the dirt, I couldn't help but speak again.
"Let me go." I didn't yell this time, but even I heard the note of desperation in my voice, and I'm sure they did as well. I saw Solas's eyes widen slightly in surprise, and Sean looked to him.
"Is that elven? I mean she is an elf. Can you understand her?"
I froze. An elf? What the hell? I was human last I looked!
"Yes, that is elven. She said 'Let me go.' I'm surprised. Has she spoken any common?"
Sean shook his head. "Not that I heard. Of course, she hasn't said much of anything."
I turned my face back into the dirt and closed my eyes again. I was calmer now, but the stress was beginning to get to me. I noticed I was trembling.
"What should we do boss? I can't sit on her all day." Bull shifted above me again and I couldn't help struggling a little, and his grip tightened again. I would have bruises later.
"Hmm. How can we safely get her into the dungeon? Can you knock her out?"
I gave an indignant grunt into the dirt that I'm not sure if they heard.
"Yeah I can. No guarantee I won't cause brain damage though. Takes a hard hit to go unconscious." Bull chuckled.
"I can put her to sleep. That way we can transport her safely." Solas always had all the answers. Even in crazy afterlife dreams.
Sean seemed to like that idea though.
"Alright, Solas do that, and we will question her after we have cleaned up this mess she caused. Anyone know the damage?"
I kept my face in the dirt trying to keep my breathing calm as I knew I was about to be put under. I could hear Solas walking towards me.
"Six are unconscious. All total, she made it past eleven guards before she was stopped, My Lord."
Whoever told the Inquisitor this had a nervous wobble to his voice. Not pleased to be delivering the number that one small girl had blown through easily. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face, even pressed into the dirt.
"Shit. She sure is fast." Bull said incredulously with a chuckle.
"Indeed." Solas sounded annoyed or maybe apprehensive.
Why?
I didn't really have time to consider it as I felt Solas hand on my head and the unyielding pull of sleep dragged me into blackness once more.
I gasped and sat up quickly. I woke with no illusions of reality this time. I remembered where I was and what had happened, as if I had just closed my eyes for a moment. The cot beneath me creaked ominously as I shifted, and I examined the barred door that led out of my cell. The waterfall was loud outside my door and I shivered against the chill. I was alone. There were no guards in sight and no other prisoners. I sat cross-legged on the cot and tried to focus my breathing. Panicking was helping no one, and if I knew the characters, which I did, there would be an inevitable interrogation soon. I pushed my hair out of the way and closed my eyes. I placed my hands facing upward on my knees and just let them relax. It was an old meditation trick I had learned when I was a teenager, struggling with anger issues and raging against the world.
Focusing on my breath, I sat still, clearing my thoughts until I was calm. When I felt that my heart was under control and I wouldn't panic, I considered what was happening.
Let's for a moment consider this is real. I was shot. I remember being in the ambulance and then I died. Ok. Breathe.
Then I died or fell unconscious or whatever -maybe I'm in a coma?- and then I was pulled through a rift. I was remade. I felt that part. My body felt like it was broken into a billion tiny pieces and then pushed back together.
I reached up slowly and touched my ears which were now long and pointed, before gently laying my hand back on my knee. Breathe.
I fell through the rift and I am now in Thedas. With my Inquisitor and his companions. It could be a dream. Maybe I'll just wake up. I had never fallen asleep or unconscious in a dream though. Maybe I am in a coma and my mind is processing ways to keep itself busy while my body recuperates. What if I am dead though, and this is heaven? Or Hell? Breathe.
No matter what it is there are a few things I know. I am still me. I feel mostly the same other than the ears and the scars on my chest. I can speak and think and I remember everything clearly. So that's good. Why are they saying I'm speaking a different language though? I have only ever spoken English, which they seem to refer to as common. But Solas said I was speaking elvish? Elven? Breathe.
I thought about what I knew since I had played the game several times. Maybe I could use that to my advantage. Seeming like a crazed lunatic and fighting off all their guards definitely wouldn't help my case. Maybe I could play along until this dream ended. Breathe.
I heard the door open but I didn't open my eyes. I stayed very still in my meditation and just focused on my thoughts and my breath. If they wanted to talk to me, they could initiate. I wouldn't seem desperate. I had my pride.
I listened to the footsteps approach. I guessed three people based on the sound. They stopped in front of my cell. I didn't move a muscle.
"Hello. Nice to meet you."
I heard Sean speak in his slightly casual manner. Since I apparently couldn't speak common I would pretend I couldn't understand it, so I remained silent and still. I had to fight off a smirk though. I had designed him to be funny and carefree. He was doing a good job of it, so far. They stood in silence for a moment, waiting for some kind of acknowledgement from me.
"What is she doing? Is she asleep?" Sean asked in a loud whisper.
"I believe she is meditating." I heard Solas respond at a normal volume.
So, they bring the translator huh? I still ignored them.
"Solas, you should try talking to her. She might not understand common. We need to find out who she is and where she came from." Leliana. That soft Orlesian accent couldn't be anyone else. She was the other I would have guessed would come for an interrogation. After all, she was the ruthless spymaster. I heard Solas sigh quietly.
"Greetings, Lethallan. May we speak with you?"
I understood him perfectly even though I could hear the distinct change in his words as he switched to elven. I opened my eyes and looked straight at him, still not moving. I think it creeped Sean out because he shivered and cringed away from the bars.
"As you wish." I listened to my own voice and heard the words come out as elven. Ma nuvenin. Breathe. Don't think about it.
Solas nodded. "What is your name?"
I looked down at my lap. Should I tell them my real name? I suppose it wouldn't hurt. Maybe I should hide it though. But what would be the point of that?
After a pause I looked back up at them. Leliana looked suspicious, Solas and Sean both curious, though Solas seemed more passive than anything.
"Shaehari." I said it simply. I don't know why I decided to give them my full first name. I normally went by Shae. Only my grandmother who died when I was six, called me Shaehari. Whatever.
Solas looked to Leliana, who was staring at me with sharp, intelligent eyes. I had no doubt she was looking for something from me. A tell. A clue. Anything she could use to find out more.
"Ask her where she came from." Solas turned to me and repeated the question. That might get old. Having to wait for a translation even though I can understand.
I looked down at my lap again and couldn't help the worry that I knew changed my expression.
"I... don't know." I kept my eyes on my lap as, after a pause, Solas translated for me.
They shifted on their feet, uncomfortable with my ambiguous non-answer.
"Does she have any association with Corypheus?" Leliana asked.
She was focused completely on me, so she probably didn't see Sean roll his eyes slightly. Solas translated her question again.
I pulled my eyebrows together, feigning confusion at the name. If I showed any recognition Leliana would never trust me. Not that she would anyway, but there was a clear difference between being wary of me, and trying to have me executed.
"I don't know any by that name." I replied. I didn't want Leliana to think me a spy. I knew for a fact that she wouldn't hesitate.
"Are you Dalish?" Solas asked without a prompt from Leliana. I looked at him with confusion again and shook my head no.
"What do you remember?" He asked. I could see the curiosity behind his eyes, though his face remained carefully blank.
I decided to be as honest as I could be so that the lies would come easier. A trick I had learned a long time ago. I raised my hand without thinking and touched the scar that was just barely visible above the collar of my clothing.
"I remember... dying. I felt myself die. I was pulled apart into nothing... and then I saw a bright green light that pulled me forward. I fell through it, heard fighting and screams and then nothing. Then I woke up here. I panicked. I'm... sorry... about before. I hope I did not do any lasting damage."
Solas eyed me carefully before turning to translate my words to the other two.
"Well at least she is talking... but it doesn't seem to be about much." Leliana sighed almost bitterly, and seemed to consider the options.
Solas continued. "She says she is not Dalish, and I'm inclined to believe her. She has no Vallaslin and she is beyond the correct age for application. But no city elf would have this kind of knowledge of the elven language- or even a Dalish for that matter. She speaks fluently, like it is her first language."
Both Leliana and Sean were eyeing him, considering this information.
"What does that mean?" Leliana asked.
"I am unsure. Would you let me speak with her alone?" Solas asked, "It will be simpler if I don't have to stop to translate every sentence. I will report everything I learn back to you both, of course." Leliana eyed him with suspicion, but Sean seemed pleased with the idea. He was so trusting of his companions. Too bad, really.
"Yeah, that sounds great! Just write up a report and get it to us and we will figure this out from there. Don't let her out though. I don't want to let a crazy elf loose on my poor men again." He chuckled at his own joke, while glancing at me, seemingly to make sure I wasn't offended.
Not very funny Sean. I studied them with curious eyes. They were just as they game portrayed them, only more real. They didn't have the small flaws that come with the gaming physics. It was so weird. Leliana and Sean walked off to the door, and Solas watched them go. I studied him closely. He was more handsome in person, and I remember clearly from my first play-through where I had romanced him. Sigh. Stupid Fen'harel. Oh... I just remembered that I know his darkest secret. Well now.
He turned back at the sound to face me, his eyes curious once again. He had his hands behind his back, standing straight in his normal stance. I smirked a little at seeing it.
"Are you of the Elvhen?"
The smirk fell quickly from my face, and he watched it fall. Was he asking me if I was an ancient? Like Abelas was? I wasn't. But, on the other hand, how could I know some of the things I knew if I wasn't. I glanced away from his gaze, choosing not to answer. Let him assume what he wants.
"We mean you no harm, Lethallan. We only brought you back here to care for you. You were unconscious for days. We were afraid you wouldn't wake."
I considered what he said, not meeting his eyes. I knew Solas was a manipulative bastard. He was trying to get me to open up to him, to trust him. And I had to make him trust me without letting him push too much. And he had a couple thousand years of experience more than me.
"I thank you, Lethallin... I am just overwhelmed. I awoke from death and came to a strange place with strange people. I am sorry I struck you when I first woke up."
Solas nodded, dismissing my apology, still studying me closely. I remember comments about Arlathan falling because of a war. I put my face in my hands as though remembering and distressed, and made a dangerous gamble.
"I remember Arlathan. I remember the wars, the fighting. But I don't remember how I died. I don't know how this happened. I barely remember who I am."
I touched my scars again. Pretending to be an ancient was probably a bad idea, but it was the only way to explain my fluent use of the language. But the whole 'I don't remember' part would be hard to swallow. I needed something to convince him I was legit. I glanced at his face. He seemed to be considering, a his face revealing nothing of his thoughts.
"Are you afraid I will reveal your identity to the humans? I notice they do not call you by your name." Solas froze.
I may have overplayed my hand, but it was one thing I knew that a Dalish or city elf wouldn't ever know. Ancient elf would be the only logical explanation. And I would let him assume. I stood and turned my back to him, hiding my face, trying to play a part.
"I won't betray my kin, Dread wolf." Ouch, not a good comment to say to the betrayer. "Your secret is safe with me. But if I may ask... What happened to Arlathan? I remember the fighting. How was it resolved?"
I traced my scars again, feeling the knotted skin. It was becoming a habit. Speaking of Arlathan made me very sad. I wasn't sure why, but I felt so much loss just speaking its name. Probably because I was speaking to someone who was actually there. Who would actually have felt its loss. I heard Solas breath catch in his throat.
"It was destroyed." His voice sounded strained.
I turned back to him and nodded, not having to fake the sorrowful look on my face. We stood in silence for a moment.
As Solas was reminiscing, I was plotting. How do I make this work?
"What should I call you?" Solas blinked, startled out of his reminiscing.
"I go by Solas." He said, back on topic.
I nodded again. "Where are we?"
He stared at me for a moment.
"We are in a fortress in the mountains called Skyhold."
He said the word Skyhold in common. I remembered the word spoken in the game for its elven name.
"Tarasyl'an Te'las." Solas looked surprised that I knew but nodded.
I looked down, thinking. I had to be so, so careful.
"I spoke the truth. I do not remember how I came to be where you found me. I was dying. I felt myself die." I couldn't stop the hand that reached up and touched my scar again. Solas noticed, his eyes darting to my fingers.
"How did you get that scar? Do you remember that?"
I continued to trace the ridges that marred my skin. I considered. Well, I can't tell him I was shot.
"I don't remember how it happened. I remember blood. And pain. I felt myself pass into the void."
Solas shook his head.
"Somehow we pulled you from the fade. How did you end up there? Did we somehow pull you through the fade from the battle?" His questions were somewhat rhetorical as he thought about the possibilities.
I shrugged. I turned my back on him again. I was trying to talk my way out of this cell. If this was a dream I didn't want to spend it locked up. And if it was anything else well... I loved this game. Maybe I could just enjoy being involved in it for a while.
"Who is this human you follow?"
"He is the Inquisitor. Leader of the Inquisition." I turned back to him and studied his face. He was once again a blank mask of indifference.
"And what is the Inquisition? What does it stand for that you follow it?"
I let the weight of my knowledge rest behind that. He knew I was asking why the Dread Wolf would follow a human. I knew already. But he didn't know that I knew, and I was going to keep it that way. Solas held eye contact with me, carefully choosing his words.
"It is a long story... but we are fighting a monster who believes he is a god."
I nodded and narrowed my eyes at the ground.
"Where are the People? I didn't see any outside. Have they joined this fight?"
I was playing the ancient elf who wouldn't know what had happened to the elves. Hopefully this wouldn't bite me in the ass later. But how else was I supposed to explain the fluent elven? Solas sighed and looked depressed again. Poor guy.
"Arlathan wasn't the only thing destroyed. The people were scattered, and, over the generations, have become a shadow of what they were. They are not unified."
He sighed. I sat down on the cot again, resting my elbows on my knees, contemplating where to go from here. But Solas spoke again.
"They are split into two groups. There are Dalish, who are nomads in the wilderness, and the city elves who live in alienages in human cities. They are not of the people anymore."
I broke eye contact and looked to the floor, sighing heavily as well.
"What of the rest of the Pantheon?" I tensed slightly as I asked, but what kind of ancient elf wouldn't ask that?
I was afraid of how he would respond to that question. I went with the story in my head that somehow when I had "died" it was before the fall of Arlathan so it must have been before Fen'Harel locked up the gods. Solas was completely silent for a moment, his sharp eyes on me. He is probably thinking 'What am I going to tell her? That I betrayed her gods? Locked them away? What does she know about the war? Did she believe in us as others did?' That's what I pictured going through his head anyway. I glanced up at him again and met his intense gaze.
"They are gone. To end the war... I had to lock them away." I stared at him for a moment, shock on my face, and then looked back at the ground.
I wasn't really expecting that answer. But the more I thought about it the more it made sense. After all, the first Dalish I spoke to could tell me of Fen'Harel's betrayal, and probably would with all of their Dread Wolf cursing. I was quiet for a long time, and very still. I knew Solas was watching me closely, maybe a little nervously, but I just contemplated my situation. I rubbed my hands over my eyes and exhaled in a loud gush of air. I stood and walked closer to the bars.
"I would like to help you. Sitting in this cage doing nothing is not acceptable to me, and I could be of assistance to you and this Inquisitor. Will you speak with them and see if they would accept my assistance?"
I looked Solas straight in the eyes as I said this. He was a head taller than me though so really I was looking up at him. He looked surprised at my lack of comment on the situation with the Pantheon, but he considered my request.
"I will speak with them. The Inquisitor can always use good warriors. But I am going to have to tell them who you are. They are not idiots and will probably have made some connections to your speech already. Do you know any common?"
I thought about it. I probably could, but I wasn't sure. So I shook my head. I was nervous though. What if I couldn't speak common? What if I could understand it but never actually get the words out? Yikes.
"Hmm. I will have to teach you some. No one speaks elven anymore. No one but us."
He smiled a little sadly at that.
I bet you are thinking it's nice to speak it again, huh Solas? I couldn't help the small tug at the corner of my lips as well. Solas turned without a word and exited the dungeon. I sat heavily back down on the cot. What have I gotten myself into? I absentmindedly tucked my hair behind my ear, but my hand caught on the unexpected pointiness. I fingered my ears, tracing the new shape. So weird. I wish I had a mirror. Have other things changed? I pulled my long hair over my shoulder. Still a strawberry blonde. I tossed it back behind me and cupped my chin in my palm, my elbow on my knee. I wonder what else has changed? Hopefully not much. The only thing that would be cool is if I got magic. Oh shit! What if I do have magic?
I looked down at my hands, slightly unsure how to check. How would I even know? Hmm. I tried to think of fire. I pictured it in my hand, focused all my will on it. I closed my eyes and pictured it there, with heat and light. I felt something tug and opened my eyes. There was a small pool of flames in my hand. I almost screamed and accidentally put my hand down on the bed in my instinctual reaction to get away from it. The blanket caught fire and I smothered it with my hands. It must not burn me because I created it? Huh. I spent the rest of the night trying to get familiar with using magic and remembering all I could about the ancient elves.
