Chapter 2!
My sense of humour is HORRIBLE in humour stories, and so I apologize if this chapter doesn't even make you laugh. :P
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Bickering, fighting, cursing, yelling, punching, snarling…
Ah, the lovely—violent—scenes you see between those two are just so priceless. SasuSaku has the best humour stories I've eve read, thanks to the great authors out there, and no other couple has ever beaten them—Although NejiTen has come close to it. They have everything for a great humour story, the ways to fight and the words to say… the personalities to clash! I just think it's so priceless how these two interact!
I've had my favourite funny moments between those two. The way Sasuke shuts her up, the way Sakura yells at him, the way they make up, the way the two fight over the most ridiculous things… And especially the way Sakura overreacts to it all.
Oh and we can't forget the insults Sakura uses to… well insult him.
(Chickenbutthairedman, sociallyretardedman, sociallyconstipatedman, hotarrogantjerk, crazymorninghair, tomatoaddicticecube, platonicroboticretardedman, tomatoboy… and etc…)
Or the way these two are in public (coughheatedmakeoutsessioncough).
Or the way Sasuke pretends to highly ignore Sakura in public when we all know that she occupies every inch of his mind.
Or the way Sasuke gets jealous so easily. (Sakura too!)
Or the fact they just can't seem to take their silly paws off each other…
Or the way Sakura tortures Sasuke as she seduces him…
You may find all of these moments here.
May. (likely not…)
(Have a good laugh!)
-
-
Chapter 2: The Humour
-
-
As the interaction between the two is just so priceless sometimes.
And I know present you—
Grunt.
(Click.)
the man whose ego could form a new world—
Smirk.
(FLASH!)
and whose dictionary expands to a maximum of three words—
Glare.
-
Sasuke Uchiha.
-
-
(SQUEALS!)
-
1. An arrogant prick who can't seem to take out the stick up his ass.
2. The most desirable man in Konohagure, despite the fact he has been labelled as socially retarded.
3. The type of guy who possesses no sense of romantism whatsoever.
4. A man in denial when it comes to love.
5. Haruno Sakura's lover of six months.
…
-&-
…
("HEY! DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME!")
And of course we can't forget—
("Heh!")
(Doing!)
the woman whose stubbornness could surpass a mule's—
Gasp.
(Click.)
and whose giddiness has no end—
Smile. ("Peace!") Peace sign.
(FLASH!)
-
Haruno Sakura.
-
(WHISTLES!)
-
1. A young and talented medic nin who could knock you out with a simple punch.
2. A beautiful, high-tempered, conniving female who is not afraid to talk back.
3. A hopeless romantic in the worst of ways.
4. The type of female who overreacts too much.
5. Uchiha Sasuke's lover of six months.
Cupid…
("Sakura what are you doing?"
Watch who you shoot your arrow at!
("I'm thinking.")
…It can kill!
("…Hn.")
…Or create the most wonderful pair.
("Sasuke-kun, if sex is such a natural phenomenon, why are there so many books on how to do it?")
"Sakura." He hisses.
She blinks innocently. "Yes, Sasuke-kun?"
The seventeen year old man clenches his teeth. "Stop."
She smiles that too innocent smile of hers. "But I'm not doing anything Sasuke-kun."
He glares warningly. "Stop playing innocent." He hissed out through his still tightly clenched teeth.
Smile.
Groan. "Stop that!" He growls to the rosette pelted girl.
"But what am I doing Sasuke-kun? Enlighten me!"
He glares at her more deathly, gritting his teeth as she does it once more. "Stop touching my—"
She giggles and interrupts him, smiling once more. "Oh don't be silly Sasuke-kun!"
Rub.
"Sakura…"
Rub. Rub. Rub.
"Sakura…"
She leans over, climbing onto his lap, and she smiles as he muffled a moan, caused by her hands still rubbing the most sensitive part of him behind his clothes with her small hand.
"Sakura," Oh? Who knew her name could slip out of his mouth so blissfully? "Don't." He rasps out, biting the inside of his mouth to refrain another groan.
She smiles once more, leaning her body flushed against his, and she licks the sensitive place behind his ear. "Why, are you aroused, cupcake?" She giggles, rubbing harder.
But the usually platonic Sasuke bit his tongue, making him unable to answer to her question, and he grabbed her firmly by the waist. "Stop. right. now." He breathes between ragged pants, eyes shutting tightly as she rubs him more sensually.
"But Sasuke-kun…" She whines, removing her hand from his clothes private part only to press her own crotch against his aroused one. She licks her lips temptingly, mewling as he makes a move to remove her, which only intensified the delightful friction.
His eyes nearly roll at the back of his head, but he resists. "Get. Off."
"Not until you give me some!"
He groans, exasperation clear. "Sakura… damnit…are you crazy?! We can't!"
She blinks. "Why not?"
"We're in a freaking park!"
"Well no shit Sherlock." She rolls her eyes.
His eyes widen. "Are you crazy woman!? Kids are around!"
"Thanks for pointing out another known fact, Captain Obvious." She snorts, looking uninterestingly at her nails. "So are you giving this to me or what?" She casually asks, looking back the man as she puts her hand back on his chest.
He rolls her over, looming over her small form, and she smiles. "You're insane. I'm not doing this in a park while kids could be watching." He hisses, getting off of her and standing up on his feet.
She jumps up. "But we've done it before!"
He gives a short snort. "No we haven't, you idiot."
"Yes we have! I swear! Come on Sasuke-kun, you know you want to!"
And for a moment, Sasuke actually considers it.
"Fine, if you won't do it I will!"
His eyes widen in alert and horror. "Sakura, don't—" But he's interrupted by soft lips pressing against his lightly, the contact gone a second after. He blinks, surprised, and stares as she smiles at him. "A kiss is what you wanted?" He asks, his voice blunt but slightly taken aback.
Blink. "…Yeah…" She gives him a weird look, her eyes narrowing cunningly. "What did you think I wanted?" She asks, a sly smile grazing those pink lips he loved to claim so much.
And for the first time publicly, Sasuke blushes. "…something…" he mumbles, pulling away from her quickly to hide his embarrassment.
She laughs, loud and clear, and joins the raven haired man with an amused smile. "Pervert!"
"Well it's a bit difficult to think you wanted a freaking kiss after what you've been doing only freaking seconds before that." he hisses.
She giggles. "But you enjoyed it!"
"…Hn."
…
…
"Sasuke-kun?"
"Hn?"
"I think I may actually want some of that which you thought I wanted earlier."
Silence.
"Where's the closest deserted place we can get?"
"Turn left. Now."
…
…
"Mmmm…"
He hates them.
Smile.
"These popsicles are so good."
Moan.
…
Correction, he loathes them.
…
"Sasuke-kun, could I taste yours after?"
(Choke. coughcoughcoughcough.)
(SPLATTER.)
…
"SASUKE-KUN! YOU DROPPED YOUR POPSICLE ON THE FREAKING FLOOR! NOW I CAN'T TASTE IT!"
…
...
"Owwww! Sakura-chan, that hurt!" The blonde haired knuckleheaded ninja whined, rubbing a red spot on his cheek, which was the area Sakura had gladly punched him. He looked up with pouty lips and pleading ocean blue eyes, frowning as the rosette simply huffed. "Don't act like such an idiot next time and maybe I'll consider not punching you." Sakura snorted, turning on her red heels before angrily sitting back on her bar stool.
"Knowing him, it won't ever happen." A dark haired man muttered, sitting at the stool besides the pinkette. "Sasuke-kun!" Sakura exclaimed giddily, engulfing the man beside her in a large bear hug before nuzzling his shoulder softly. "You're late! Where've you been? Not with some other chick I hope…" Sakura murmured the last part, which went unheard by Naruto although it wasn't her intention.
Sasuke smirked lightly, shoving her hand away from her shoulder gently, and he took a sip of the alcoholic drink that had just arrived, watching from the corner of his eyes how her face fell into an angry one. "SASUKE-KUN!" She yelled, surprising the loud blonde beside her who spat out his drink in shock, choking on some of the alcohol he had swallowed. "What the hell!? What was that all about Sakura-chan!?" Naruto rasped out through chokes, rubbing his throat as the coughs died down.
Sasuke, quite used to her sudden outbursts, kept his platonic face on and ignored the girl deliberately, sipping his drink again as he looked about himself and to the people in the almost stuffed club. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, jerk!" She snapped, grabbing his chin tightly and turning his face to hers in a sharp movement. Sasuke, hearing and feeling his bones snapping uncomfortably at the blunt movement, let out a low groan and rubbed the back of his neck, mumbling incoherent curses under his breath. "The hell was that for?!" He sneered, throwing her his famous death glare, which didn't even faze the rosette headed girl.
"For acting like an ass!" She retorted back, huffing and glaring at him hotly, which he was used to by now. Sasuke sighed, mumbling a bit under his breath before sipping his drink again. "What was that?" Sakura demanded, hovering dangerously close to the onyx eyed man. "I didn't quite catch that." She went on, giving him a warning growl. Sasuke snorted, gulping down the rest of his drink. "I said…" He gave her a deadpanning stare. "I don't know how I can stand you crazy woman."
Twitch.
Sasuke's eyes widen in alarm, and he tumbled back a bit, noticing how she clenched her fist hard—almost to the blood.
Twitch, twitch, twitch.
And…
"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, HOW DARE YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO ME!? HOW DARE YOU?!" She howled in anger, reaching out quickly to grasp him, but he was already out of sight, and all she saw was his arm disappearing at the door of the club before she went after him again. "COME BACK HERE YOU FUCKING SCAREDY CAT! RIGHT THIS SECOND! I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF YOU SOCIALLY RETARDED HOT LOOKING MAN! I'LL TEAR YOUR SKIN APART AND FEED YOU TO YOUR FREAKING CRAZY DOGS! BY THE WAY WHO HAS DOGS GUARDING THEIR FREAKING MANSION BUT NEVER LETS THEM OUT FOR FIVE FREAKING MINUTES?!"
A loud yelp was heard, followed by a snarl, making every head in the club turn towards the direction the voices were coming from. "Shut up, Sakura."
"DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP YOU BASTARD!
"Sakura."
"WHAT?!"
"…You're annoying."
"WHY YOU LITTLE—"
Silence.
The clubbers leaned in a little closer, thinking that maybe they were out of hearing range, and raised an eyebrow as silence greeted them again. Thinking they were gone, the ninjas and civilians were about to start doing whatever they had been doing before, only to be abruptly stopped by the sound of heavy breathing and soft moans.
They smirked.
"SASUKE-TEME! SAKURA-CHAN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING!?" A loud voice rang, catching the attention of the others once again. "W-WHAT THE HELL!?! WAIT UNTIL YOU GET HOME FOR THIS KIND OF THING WILL YOU!?" A startled gasp was heard. "TEME!!! KEEP HER FREAKING SHIRT ON! PEOPLE ARE WALKING BY! TEME! TEMEEEE ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!?"
But all of them knew Sasuke never replied to the blonde's shouts.
"GET A FUCKING ROOM!"
OH, they will get a room.
...-&-…
"Freaking sex addicts."
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT!?"
He grunts in return, huffing lightly as he cracks his knuckles and spins around on the heels of his shoes, coming face to face with his pink haired blossom. "He was staring at you." He says matter-of-factly.
"And that gives you the right to give him a bloody beating!?" She spat back to him.
"I didn't like the way he was staring at you." Sasuke defended, his tone cold and harsh, as if wanting her to just leave it at that and understand.
"And that still gives you the right to beat him up?" She questions back, her own tone harsh.
"Hn." He grunts, grabbing her wrist and pulling her away from the scene where his bloody beating for the guy had happened, but she resisted. "Wait a minute! Can't I heal this guy!? He might freaking bleed to death!"
He turned and gave her a deadpanning stare. "I didn't beat him that bad."
She turned to the man slumped against the wall, his nose completely drenched with blood which was leaking on the floor, and his mouth kind of crooked and a little malformed. She could also see the bruises starting to form all over his limbs, and she was sure there was many she had not seen.
"Sure." She says, her voice sharp and clearly disapproving.
And the pinkette walks over the man, healing the most of his wounds, and then walks back to her jealous boyfriend, stopping in front of him and grabbing his chin roughly with one of her hands. "And Sasuke-kun, he wasn't staring at me. He's fucking blind." She hissed, although an amused smile was dancing on her lips. "You get so jealous over the most ridiculous things." She mutters, grabbing the back of his head and bringing him down in a bruising kiss.
And as they separated from their fiery lip-lock, Sasuke smirked. "If this is what jealous gets me, then I should get jealous more often." He whispered huskily, engaging another rough kiss with his girlfriend.
…
…
"I'm not a jealous person!"
"Tch."
"I'm just a guy who would love to punch every other guy in the face who gave you a second look."
"And that's not jealousy?"
"No."
Snort. "Then what the hell is it?"
"…Love."
Silence.
"Sasuke-kun, this has got to be the corniest line I've ever heard in my entire life."
"…Hn."
"Besides that other line from out first month's anniversary. God that was so freaking corny."
"…"
"It was like, the king of the corny village."
"…"
"And like, the line that would win the prize of 'the corniest line you'll ever hear in your life' Ha!"
"Sakura."
"I swear! You should check up to see if they actually have contests like that! You'd win for sure!"
"….Sakura."
"It would be sooooooo totally great and soooo hilarious! Imagine that! The big headline in the newspapers! 'Sasuke Uchiha, first prize winner of the corniest line you'll ever hear in your life'! Ha! I can totally see that!"
"Sakura."
"And then—What?"
"Shut. Up."
"But Sasuke-kun—!"
…
(Click.)
…
"Mmm…"
...
(FLASH!)
…
"…Sasuke-kun?"
"…Hn?"
"I like corny, just so you know."
…
…
"Well no shit you could've told me that earlier instead of making me feel like a complete dumbass."
"But I like seeing that happen."
"Sakura."
"What?"
"Shup up."
(And he kisses her again.)
….
…
And I now present to you—
("…?")
the pairing whose love cannot compare—
("HEY SASUKE-KUN THAT'S US!)
and whose humour shall never be beaten—
Laugh. ("What humour, Sasuke-kun?")
and who shall remain in the heart of us all—
("Who is us?" "Shut up Sakura.")
-
SasuSaku.
-
("Can I taste that popsicle now? You know… that one?")
-
-
They are but only the very best.
I can't get enough of them. Of the fluff, of the angst, of the tragedy…
…and of the humour of course.
There will always be humour with them, no matter what.
-
-
End.
Sorry for the time it took to come out! I'm quite horrible at writing humour.. xD So it took me a little while to write this chapter! At least it's over with!
Next chappie…
Your choice between
1) The Naughty (smexy)
2) The Angst
Review your choice and opinion! :)
I hope you enjoyed and I hope I made you laugh..
CommitedToKiba
