Kurt has just stepped out of the lunch line when he's greeted by Finn. "Hey! There you are! You didn't text me back!"

Scoffing, Kurt turns to him hissing. "Calm down, Finn. I'm supposed to be your annoying new sister, remember?"

Smiling slightly, Finn says, "Right. Sorry. Anyway, we sit over here. Looks like Seb got cornered already."

Looking around, Kurt sags with relief when he sees Seb sitting next to Sam at a table near the back of the room. Finn slides in across from them so Kurt taps Sam on the shoulder. Without even waiting to be asked, the blonde scoots over.

Sitting down, Kurt says, "Thanks, Sam." Without really thinking about it, Kurt drops his forehead down on Sebastian's shoulder. "Tell me Economics wasn't as behind as Honors Lit. I really might die of boredom before you even give me the damn Kindle."

Snorting, Seb rubs a hand on Kurt's arm. "Sorry, babe. I was so bored I started a list guessing how the teen dream was going to 'woo you back'. Want to hear it?"

"Oh dear god, no. Shut up, Seb." Taking a quick drink and a bite, Kurt covers his mouth while he chews and swallows. Then he says, "So help me god, Sebastian, if that boy shows up here today, I'm blaming you. It's like Beetlejuice! You can't talk about it!"

Looking at him in question, Sebastian says, "It's like what?"

Before Kurt can respond more than muttering 'what were your parents teaching you...' Finn clears his throat. It's only after Kurt looks up that he remembers he's surrounded by people he doesn't know. "Oh! Sorry! Hi! I'm Elizabeth! You can call me Liza or Lizzie!"

Sebastian just nods, smirking. "Sebastian." Kurt elbows him. Ugh. He's so smug. And rude. He's smude.

Rolling his eyes, "Sebastian Smythe, call me anything but Meerkat."

Kurt mumbles, 'I stand by it.'

As the table goes around introducing themselves, Kurt nods at them, finally putting faces to stories he's heard. He's more than a little worried at the wink he gets from 'Puck' and apparently he's not alone. Finn is glaring the jock and suddenly Sebastian's arm wraps around Kurt's waist. Rolling his eyes, Kurt goes back to his lunch. Boys.

He'd heard enough about Puck to know he's not a threat. He's the straight Sebastian. If Kurt hadn't spread his legs for his hot-as-hell best friend yet, Noah Puckerman didn't stand a chance.


As they walk out of the lunchroom, surrounded by the glee club, Sebastian turns to Kurt. "Ugh, never again." Pointing a finger at him, "You got me into this mess, fix it."

Kurt snickers. "Actually, you decided to follow me by yourself, I had nothing to do with it. You're lucky I agree. Since I'm going to be doing it anyway though, it won't be hard to make extra."

Nodding, Sebastian keeps walking. After a few seconds of silence, Finn pipes up with, "That made no sense. What is Lizzie doing?"

Kurt huffs. "The food in there was terrible. I'm going to make our lunches from now on. Expect pastas for dinner more often. I can pack it as leftovers the next day."

Sebastian growls, pulling Kurt closer to his side. "If you make me fat, I'll never forgive you, princess."

Giggling, Kurt looks up at him. "Awww. Poor Sebby. You're actually gonna have to try now."

Grumbling about the lack of lacrosse team, Sebastian follows the small group of students into the classroom and finds two seats on the front row. After he sits down, he jolts. "Shit. We probably should have thought about something to sing, babe."

With wide eyes, Kurt turns to Sebastian. "Oh god. How did I not think about that? I never miss a chance to freak out over an audition!"

Sam speaks up, sitting beside Kurt. "It's not much of an audition. He lets everyone in. But yeah, if you want a solo, you better be good. We can't just take Finn's word on it."

Kurt smacks Sebastian. "This is all your fault! My mind got sidetracked dealing with the concept of having to deal with you all day. You have to sing with me. That way they'll focus on what you did wrong and forget my flaws. Pick a duet."

Laughing, Seb smirks at him. "Oh, I thought of one while ignoring your shrieking. We got this." Before Kurt can question him more about the song, making sure it's one he knows well enough, the teacher comes in.

"Okay, class. Today we have the return of Mr. Sam Evans, along with two new members! Please welcome Finn's step-sister Elizabeth Hummel and her... uh... Sebastian Smythe!"

Kurt blushes, waving a little to the rest of the room, most of which he'd thankfully already met. Sebastian just smirks.

Mr. Schuester continues, "Since we're low on time to get ready for sectionals, and we know Sam can sing, can we hear something from the new guys? Maybe something together? Then we can start reworking the set list."

Sebastian smirks, getting up and offering a hand to Kurt. Huffing, he gets up unassisted and waits for Seb to fill him in on his song choice.

Still aiming a full watt smirk at Kurt, Sebastian announces, "We'll sing 'Take Me or Leave Me' from Rent."

Unable to stop the giggle that springs out, Kurt shakes his head and takes off his jacket, throwing it on his seat. They dance around a little as Sebastian takes Maureen's part. Sebastian is enjoying the spectacle a bit more than he should and Kurt just watches him with a smirk on his face. When the table turns, Kurt takes great pleasure in teasing him during Joanne's lines. The song ends with Kurt belting out the final note, able to hold it much longer than Sebastian. When he finally cuts off he and Sebastian are almost nose to nose and Seb's smirk could cut glass. Kurt just laughs, smacking a kiss on his cheek and pushing him away face first.

As they turn back to the class, the whole room erupts with cheers and applause. After a quick curtsy, Kurt moves back to his seat, noting Finn's smug look. Okay, so maybe this wasn't the worst idea. It might not be so bad here.

Sebastian settles next to him, leaning over to whisper, "I'm coming over to your house after school so we can discuss something I'm noticing."

Giving him a nod, Kurt mentally shrugs. He'd kind of assumed he'd have trouble getting rid of Sebastian before dinner. In fact they should probably just meet at his house in the mornings, save gas and time. Kurt's attention is called to the front when the teacher gets back up, gushing about their song. After the room settles down, Mr. Shue settles down to say, "Okay! Now, preparing for sectionals!"


As they walk out of Keyboarding, Kurt snorts. "How sad is it that a typing class won't be the most useless class we take here?"

"Right? At least they're teaching us to not look at the keyboard. That plastic mat thing sucks serious ass though."

Giggling, Kurt lowers his voice so only Seb can hear him, "Really Seb? I thought you wouldn't like it."

Smirking, Seb pinches Kurt's ass, still leading the way down the hall. "Shut up, princess. We both know how much I'd like to-"

"Thaaaat's enough of that. What's your last class?"

Giving him a smug look at the change in topic, Seb says, "AP French Lit. You?"

"The one class I knew you wouldn't follow me to. Love you, Sebby, but we both know you'd never deign to actually get your hands dirty. I signed up for Auto Mechanics. Maybe they'll let me work on my own car and I can preserve my weekends. She is almost due for maintenance." Kurt seems excited by the idea, which makes Seb laugh.

"You're such a nerd, babe. Well, if they do let you work on your own cars and you finish with the Nav, let me know. You can service my engine anytime."

Kurt smacks him, "Oh my god."

With a laugh, Seb elaborates. "No, really. A free check up on the Porsche by someone I know won't damage it? Sold."

Giggling, Kurt reaches the hallway where they'll split up and leans up to kiss Seb on the cheek. "See ya after school, hun. Just meet at my house?"

"Sure. Later, babe." Seb considers smacking him on the ass again but figures just in case Kurt forgot about the first time, doing it again would just remind him.

After Kurt walks away, he has to wonder what he's going to do about his clothes. He won't be able to do much today unless they have spare coveralls. He's not ruining his clothes for one day's worth of participation points.

He's not really sure what to expect, actually. He didn't even know that high schools were still offering auto shop classes. Dalton sure as hell hadn't. When he walks into the classroom he's surprised to find it looks a lot like a real shop. There are even bay doors that lead outside and lifts to raise cars up for easy access. Well damn! I should have come here years ago. The principal said if students took all the classes offered they could get certified. Shit. Why do I have to be a senior? Oh well, at least I got into the third level one.

By the time the other students file in, he's already told the teacher his situation and he'd agreed to more or less let 'her' observe today since Kurt hadn't brought old clothes or his coveralls. He'd said to just pair up with someone and shadow them for today. Oh, great. Now I get to pick some random neanderthal and listen to them prattle on about stupid shit for almost an hour. Awesome.

Kurt sits on a stool near the front of the room looking out over his options. He's about to suck it up and approach a guy he's pretty sure was playing an instrument in the back of the glee room when he spots a mohawk out of his peripheral. Turning, he sees one of the glee guys walk in, Puck.

Bouncing up, he walks over to him. "Hi!"

Turning to Kurt with wide eyes, Puck takes a second to look 'her' up and down before saying, "Uh, hey... what are you doing here?"

Biting back the urge to roll his eyes, Kurt laughs. "I'm in this class. The teacher said to shadow someone for today, since I didn't know to bring coveralls or something, do you mind?"

After several long seconds of blinking, Puck seems to snap out of it a bit. "Uh... sure, babe. I think we're just cleaning carburetors today."

"Oh." Kurt can feel himself deflate. Please tell me we'll do more than that in here? I've known how to rebuild a carburetor since I was like 10. According to Dad, it was the only thing that kept me quiet when I had to sit in the shop at that age. I was hoping at least this class would be interesting. Shit.

Seeing his look of disappointment, Puck says, "Hey! Don't worry, I'll show you how. It's easy."

Forcing a fake smile, Kurt says, "Aww! Thanks!"

Kurt spends most of the class watching Puck take apart and clean out the carburetor, bored out of his mind. It's only when Puck starts taking the jets out that things get a little interesting.

"Shit. Who used to own this thing?"

Kurt looks up from where he'd been contemplating his nails. "What's up?"

Puck glances over before explaining. "Whoever took this apart last time stripped this jet. It's brass, so it's easy to screw up. They were apparently stupid enough to use a regular screwdriver. Shit."

Kurt scoffs and gets up, walking over to the teacher. A few minutes later he comes back with a DeWalt drill and a tapered Dremel bit. Deciding that he'd rather ruin the sweater than the jacket, Kurt strips off the black leather and drapes it over his stool, pushing his sleeves up.

It takes him less than five minutes to set the stripped jet down on the table. He checks the others before turning back to Puck. "The others are fine, just be careful. I'm going to put these back up."

He can feel Puck's eyes on him as he walks away but he can't be bothered to look. Honestly, it's not that hard. Granted, the Dremel bit was a stretch. We have an extractor at the shop, but it's pretty close to the same thing. Ugh. Get me out of here.

Deciding not to sit and watch Puck muddle through the other jets, Kurt walks up to the instructor to find out if they'll be doing anything more interesting. He's relieved to find out they were just in a lull because Christmas break would start soon. Apparently that's why all of his classes were going so slow, which he should have realized. He'd have the same schedule next semester, but most wouldn't unless they were multi-semester classes. Actually, Kurt's pretty sure that if he'd shown up last week he could have taken the finals and still passed, but he's not going to say so. Easy classes were better than random crap he had no interest in.

As he walks over and puts his jacket back on, he notices that Puck has finished putting the carburetor back together and is staring at him. After ignoring him as long as he can, Kurt turns to him with a sigh. "What?"

Puck just gives him a smug grin, leaning back on the work table and wiping his hands on a rag. "How did you know to do that?"

Kurt scoffs, giving up any attempt at mystery. He no longer cares what people think, he's here for solos. "My dad is a mechanic. I've worked in his garage for years. I can clean a freaking carburetor."

Puck just smirks, tossing down the rag and crossing his arms over his chest. "You work on cars, you're one of the best singers I've ever heard, and you're hot as fuck. Where the hell did you come from?"

Hearing the bell ring, Kurt just smirks at him, picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder as he walks out, tossing over his shoulders, "Oh, I'm straight out of every boy's wet dream."

Kurt gamely ignores the muttered, 'Well, you're definitely from mine.' as he walks out to the Nav. Just what I need while wearing a dress, a straight boy panting after me. Jeez.


Since shop class feeds almost directly to the parking lot, Kurt gets home first. Knowing that Finn and Sam have football practice and Seb will be by any time, Kurt leaves the door cracked open and runs up to his room.

Knowing that taking off the wig would look stupid without also taking off the makeup and that he would need at least half an hour to do a cleanse, he leaves it all on for now but changes out of the restricting clothes. He goes over the sweater meticulously for stains. Judging it oil free, Kurt slips into a pair of yoga pants and a slightly oversized shirt. Afterward, he heads for the kitchen.

He's just grabbed two bottles of water and a bag of grapes when he hears light knocking on the front door.

"Candy-gram!"

Kurt scoffs, walking into the living room. "Unless you actually have chocolate, you're just a tease."

Grinning, Seb shuts the door and moves over to the couch after taking off his shoes. "I don't think I've ever actually been called a tease before... And nope, sadly I'm fresh out. You're more than welcome to check my pockets, though. Just in case."

Settling on one end of the couch and turning sideways, Kurt drops the fruit on the cushion between his knees and hands Seb a bottle of water. "Oh, I'll pass, thanks." After popping a few grapes into his mouth, Kurt asks, "So, first impressions of McKinley?"

Seb also grabs a handful of the grapes before leaning back against the other armrest, poking Kurt with his sock covered foot. "You mean other than the stench of public school?" Kurt retaliates by kicking Seb in the shin. "Ow ow ow! Okay, I'm sorry. I'll shut up."

Grumbling, Kurt takes a sip of water. "You'd better. I didn't ask your smirky little meerkat face to come with me."

Smirking again, Seb replies, "But, babe, it's considered rude to come fir- AHH! Okay! God." Kurt pulls his foot back from it's very uncomfortable position and sets his water on the table.

"Seriously though, you said you wanted to talk about something you've noticed?"

Sebastian let's out an honest laugh before he leans back again. "Well, you probably should have noticed too but you tend to be a bit more oblivious. Did you see the looks you were getting today?"

Thinking back, Kurt can't really think of anything memorable, so he just shrugs. With a sigh Seb shakes his head. "You were getting eye fucked from almost every guy in the place, babe. You need to get ugly."

Laughing a bit, Kurt says, "Get ugly? I'm already average at best, let's not make things worse. Just because you've built me up in your head as the great white gay because I'm the one guy that won't sleep with you, doesn't mean other people share your delusion."

"No, seriously. Your bias against yourself aside, you're pretty hot. Especially all dolled up as a chick." Seb waves his hands in the vague direction of Kurt's disguise. "I personally prefer you without this crap, but to be frank, you're cute and sexy as a guy. But, as a girl, it's kind of off the charts. Thank god I know you're hiding a dick in there or you'd be making me question being totally gay. "

Kurt giggles. "Thanks, Sebby. But seriously, assuming you're not high, what the hell would I even do about that? I don't want to look hideous and I can't afford less flattering clothes. The only reason this worked at all is because I had such an extensive wardrobe before this whole thing started."

Nodding, Seb admits, "I know. That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. We've been joking around, pretending to date, just because that's what people assumed and it was easier, but I really think we should legit try to come off as a couple. It might keep guys at school from getting handsy and getting a bit more of a handful than they were looking for."

Giggling again, Kurt puts a hand over his mouth, trying not to choke on a grape. "Oh god! Can you imagine? Some poor jock thinks he's getting lucky and ends up in therapy?"

Scoffing Sebastian says, "Don't know about 'poor jock' if he's shoving his hand down your pants, babe."

Shrugging, Kurt says, "Whatever. I really think you're being silly about this though. No one was that interested. It's just Bella Syndrome. I'm the shiny new toy. Once the novelty wears off, I can just fade into the background. At least until glee club. Hopefully I'll continue to stand out there."

"Yeeeah, that's part of the problem, babe." At Kurt's questioning look Sebastian snorts. "You didn't even notice, did you? I knew it!"

"Notice what? In glee? Was someone pissed about how awesome we were?"

Grinning, Seb grabs the grapes and puts them on the table since they'd both lost interest. "Oh, we got a reaction, but it wasn't anger. You were, again, getting eye fucked the whole time. I'm pretty sure if he could have, he'd have slapped my face with a glove, and announced pistols at dawn."

Frowning again, Kurt takes another sip of water. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Groaning, Seb turns to put his feet on the floor and throw his head back. "I knew you were oblivious." Turning to look at him, he explains. "Puck. The whole time you were singing, teasing me, and being kind of a bitch, he was all but drooling on his dirty, ripped jeans."

Kurt starts to wave it off as ridiculous before he remembers how his day had ended. Well shit.

"So, uh... this is probably a bad time to mention that he's in my shop class, huh?"

Groaning again Sebastian glares at him. "Coveralls. Always. And borrow your dad's. And don't wear your bra under it."

Laughing at him, Kurt gets up to put the remains of their snack away. "You're being overly dramatic. It's the same as with all the other guys, the new will wear off and it'll be fine."

When he goes to step over Sebastian's legs, Kurt is grabbed by the hips and pulled down into his lap. Trapping him there by wrapping his arms around his waist, Seb speaks slowly, as though to a toddler, or someone very stupid.

"It wasn't the same. It wasn't a 'damn she's hot', it was a 'I have to make that mine'. I know, I've given that same look to countless guys that did the walk of shame a few hours later."

Smacking him, Kurt bites out, "Any walk that involves your bed is a walk of shame, Seb. Let me go!"

"No. Not until I get you to realize that you need to be careful around some of those guys. I don't know Puck, but from what I've heard he's a bit of a stud. You need to at least ask Finn what to do about it. Apparently they're close."

Kurt sighs, giving up on being let go and props his hands on the back of the couch on either side of Seb's head. "You worry too much. As long as they think I'm a girl, none of those guys are going to do much more than leer. If it makes you feel better, we can pretend to be dating. That should at least limit the hands on my ass to yours. Don't think I've forgotten."

Wincing, Seb rubs circles into Kurt's lower back. "It was better than the alternative! There was a group of jocks 'leering' at you. It was grab your ass, or punch their faces."

"Hmph. You know I don't condone violence. You're just going to have to look for that hidden third option. You get maybe one free squeeze a day, then you start losing important bits. We're dating, not fucking at school." Seeing the light in his eyes, Kurt amends, "Or anywhere else. We both know you don't really date, Seb. Speaking of, if you go out, keep it to weekends and make sure not to fuck anyone from McKinley. The last thing I need is the rumor that I can't keep my man from straying to other men."

"That would be sort of counterproductive wouldn't it? Fine. I'll stay away from Scandals, and hit Columbus for my randoms."

Before Kurt can respond, the door opens. Finn comes in first and grimaces. "Come on, guys! Not on the couch!"

After he walks in, shaking his head and taking off his shoes, Sam stops a few feet inside the door, tilting his head to the side. "Wait, wh-" Thankfully he's interrupted by Finn elbowing him subtly. Taking the hint, Sam just nods and takes off his own shoes. The last thing Kurt wants to see is Puck following Sam in and glaring at Sebastian.

Groaning, Kurt drops his head on Seb's shaking shoulder. Dodging the pinch Kurt had aimed for laughing, Sebastian says, "Hey! It could be worse! They could have brought home the hobbit."

Slapping Sebastian, Kurt finally breaks free of the hold and stands up. "Oh, that's not funny at all, Bas. I'm just glad he didn't show up at school."

Ignoring the jocks, Seb gets up to follow the fruit-laden Kurt into the kitchen. "There's always tomorrow, babe!"


Both Sebastian and Puck stick around until almost dinner, when Burt happily boots them both out. Seb had left with a huge wink for Kurt before planting a quick kiss on his lips. Unable to take his anger out on Sebastian, Kurt had stomped up to his room to finally remove the girl-gear.

Sitting at dinner, Kurt explains that he'd gotten a few more looks than he'd thought he would, and that Sebastian would be pretending to date him until the end of the year. After 20 minutes of assurances that they were just pretending, Burt and Finn had almost believed him. Kurt gave up. Whatever.

That night, before bed, he'd run down to pack their lunch. Thankfully Carole had bought a huge lunchbox in case Finn decided to eat healthier this year and pack his own. It seemed that Finn was perfectly happy with cheap burgers and lunchroom pizza. Oh well, at least Kurt didn't have to brown bag it. It was a huge bag that held three clear plastic containers with dividers. Kurt packed two of them up with all vegetables and a few fruits. He added a fat and carb free salad dressing and sealed them airtight and stored them back in the fridge. Sebastian's lunch took considerably longer but would be worth it.

Getting a last minute idea, Kurt grabs the sharpie off the top of the refrigerator and scrawls a note on the lid of the box. If he decides to keep doing it he'll have to invest is some alcohol swabs to clean it off every night, but the look on Seb's face should be priceless.

Smirking, Kurt puts the last box in the fridge, ready to be packed up quickly for school.


The next morning Kurt wakes up early to fix his hair, putting it half back and making sure it looks natural before grabbing his school bag and heading downstairs. By the time Seb pulls up Kurt has been waiting near the door for a few minutes.

Walking outside, Kurt calls out to him before he can even get out, "Your car or mine?"

Looking relieved, Sebastian waves him over. As Kurt climbs in Sebastian sighs. "Thank god. Mine, definitely mine until it warms up." As he pulls away from the curb he gestures to the coffee cup in the console.

Kurt dives on the hot drink before mumbling, "Oh, now I feel a little guilty."

Seb cocks an eyebrow but doesn't look away from the road. "Why does coffee make you feel guilty? Did you eat a doughnut or something?"

Looking away, Kurt says. "Nevermind, I'm sure by then you'll do something to piss me off. Anyway, AP French first thing. Luckily we knew that class would be simple. I didn't even do my homework last night, it'll give me something to do."

Laughing, Seb glances at him. "Same. God knows we can't look to our new educators to keep us busy."

Nodding, Kurt just leans back, savoring his coffee and waiting on the hell that is high school.


When Kurt sits down at the lunch table beside Sebastian, the taller boy looks at him eagerly. Thankfully all signs of guilt flew out the window after first period when Seb wouldn't take his hand off Kurt's ass no matter what he threatened him with. So carefully blanking his face, Kurt opens the lunch bag, glad that the rest of the table had sat down quickly. He wanted an audience for this.

As he pulls out the first two containers and removes their lids, Kurt can see Sebastian's pout out of the corner of his eye and his lips twitch. It's only when he pulls out Seb's box that he cracks enough to smile.

Kurt had packed one box for each of them with a 'snack' box full of fruits and veggies with dip. Seb's box is packed with two pb&j sandwiches cut into heart shapes, hot dog octopi, Teddy Grams, a chocolate pudding cup with Hello Kitty drawn on it in sharpie, and a mini-apple pie with a star cut-out on top that Kurt had baked using a muffin tin. On the lid of the box, in clear view of the entire table was the message:

For my Sebby Bear!

XOXO

*heart*

Seeing Sebastian's horrified eyes sweep around the table, Kurt breaks into a giggle fit that can't be stopped. Sebastian quickly hides the lid back in the bag, blushing darker than Kurt has ever seen. Once they've both had time to recover, Sebastian turns to him, trying to keep his tone low. "Okay! You win! I'll leave your ass alone in public!"

Kurt glares for a few seconds, letting him know that it wouldn't just be 'in public' but obviously saying so out loud would be the height of stupidity.

Nodding, Kurt smiles and kisses him on the cheek. "Good! Let's eat. I'm starving."

Grumbling, Sebastian looks back at his meal. "At least I have Teddy Grams."