Title: It Never Hugs Back
Author: myinukoi
Pairing(s): SasuNaru (main), some: SasuSaku, SasuIno, NaruHina, NaruSaku, NejiNaru, KibaNaru, GaaNaru, SaiNaru, ItaNaru
Warning(s): AU, OOC, shounen-ai, DesperateforMoney!Sasuke, swearing...the usual.
Disclaimer: Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto
Beta: Ariii.chan!!
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I t N e v e r H u g s B a c k
Chapter Two: Work Like A Dog
You're going to have to work like a dog, just to live like one.
--George Gobel–
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"Sasuke! You asshole!" The blond yelled, enraged, as he stormed out from the kitchen.
"Hm... what did I do?" The said boy asked, his eyes never leaving the T.V. The crumbs on his borrowed orange pajamas trickled down his top as he shifted himself to a more comfortable position.
"I asked you before I left for work to clean the dishes!!" Naruto was enraged.
"I know. But you never said they had to be done before you came home."
Blue eyes softened from their previous angry glare. This was true. Maybe he had been too harsh...
"So... um," the blond mumbled, "when do you plan on doing them?"
"Hm..." Sasuke contemplated, "I was planning on hiring someone later in the week..."
The rage in Naruto's eyes came back full force and his face went from a golden tan to a furious red in a millisecond.
"HIRE?! You dumbass! You have no money. You idiotic, broke, sunuvabitch! And... LATER IN THE WEEK?! The dishes are practically spilling out of the sink already and shit -- I hope its mold -- is growing somewhere in the fifth layer of that nasty basin!"
For a few minutes, Sasuke was quiet. Naruto took the spare time to calm down and regain his breathing. His face returned to its natural honey color and he impatiently waited for Sasuke's response.
Last time he checked, he was a friend that pitied a buddy who didn't even deserve it. Now he was a goddamn housekeeper in his own home.
Sasuke turned to face Naruto, his eyes regarding the other teen cooly. "Okay. Commercials are over. What was it that you were saying?"
The brunette expected his friend to become twice as angry, and was ready to block him out once again, but he was astonished by the cool, calm voice that greeted him.
"Sasuke, you are to get a job, starting tomorrow morning. I can't pay for all this by myself. You. Need. To. Help."
Sasuke stared at the smaller boy; amusement sparkled in his smoky depths.
"Heh. Uzumaki, you're funny. Have you considered ever having your own television series? So comical! Me... get a job?! Ha!"
"..."
"Consider it. I know some people who know some people..."
"Then why don't you ask those people for a job."
Sasuke laughed again, but when he discovered the blond was not laughing as well, his humor died down.
"Hm, you're serious?"
"Hai." Naruto nodded his head in stern affirmation.
"Oh." The Uchiha blinked, "then, no."
Expecting this answer, Naruto simply sighed. "Have it your way, Uchiha. That means that if you don't want to pay for the things you use, then you won't use them at all."
"Fine. I'm sure there are females and even some guys that will kindly let me into their apartment."
"They won't let you use any of their crap without you sleeping with them first," Naruto said, causing the dark-haired teen rolled his eyes.
"Whatever I have to do to continue to thrive," a false bravado of courage sparkled in his eyes and he curled his hand into a fist dramatically. "Survival of the fittest, Naruto-kun," Sasuke smirked confidently.
Naruto sweat dropped. 'He's been on his ass watching too much television.'
"If you sleep with any of those fangirls or boys, do you really believe that you'll come out alive? You have such a poor sense of intuition, Sasuke."
Sasuke blanched at the true statement. "Whatever. I'm still not going to get a job. I mean I had one before, but it didn't really demand for me to do work. And any work I did have to do can easily be transferred to Sakura. She's so gullible. Pathetic, really..."
Indigo eyes turned darker in animosity. "Bastard! Don't speak about my Sakura-chan like that! I'll kill you!"
"Maa...Naruto-chaaan! Don't be like that. You know I was just playing... I love Sakura!"
"How much?" The blonde's jealousy raged to life.
"As a friend of course! Damn, Naruto! You're so untrusting!"
Naruto's eyes softened. "Good."
Sasuke smirked.
"But know that you need a job. Until you get one, everything is cut off from you! That means: water! Including toilets, sinks, and baths; food and electricity! Including all aplliances that need a plug and customary light. You may however use them to a degree when I'm in the room. Beds, blankets, couches, my clothes, and other such luxuries will be excluded from you until you are employed." Naruto's professional voice made Sasuke internally giggle.
The young Uchiha shrugged. "Whatever. And what happened to that five grand my brother was giving you every month to take care of me? Where is that going?"
The blonde blushed, but his eyes remained focused on his friend with a determined light in them. He huffed. "Humph. Taking care of you causes me stress. Putting up with that I-don't-give-a-shit-that-you're-busting-your-ass-to-make-me-happy attitude does a lot to a sensitive man such as me. A weekly spa appointment has never done anyone wrong."
Sasuke sighed. Obviously he wasn't going to win this battle. So far everything that has come out of Naruto's mouth had been true... to a degree.
"Fine!" He stood up, throwing his arms into the air in exasperation. "I'll go get a job!"
Naruto smirked triumphantly.
Sasuke left to the bedroom, only to re-emerge minutes later in a black shirt and a pair of tan, baggy, khaki pants. His dark sandals made padding noises, alerting Naruto of his presence.
Sasuke sighed as Naruto watched television, his tanned arms spread along the back of the large sofa, his shoeless feet propped on top of the table.
He never felt so jealous.
"I'm off." the brunette sighed despairingly. "Tape American Idol for me, will you? I wanna see if Sanjaya goes home..."
Naruto only laughed at a comedic skit from the TV, seemingly ignoring his friend, yet Sasuke was sure the blonde had heard him.
Sasuke exited the door.
--
"Ngh. Headache." Sasuke rubbed his temples as he walked into the apartment he shared with his friend.
He threw his clothes into a pile in the corner of the bedroom, putting on some of the blonde's orange pajamas, wincing at the hideous color.
He climbed into bed and stayed on the far east side. Naruto was on the west. Luckily, the queen sized bed was large enough so neither boy would have to touch, just as they wanted it.
He snuggled into the thick sheets. 'Damn!' he thought, agitated. 'Why won't anyone hire me? Just because I'm an Uchiha?!' His thoughts were interrupted as he was pushed off the bed by a muscled, tanned leg. He winced as his pale body collided with the ground with an upset 'thud!'
"What the fuck, Naruto!"
The blond didn't even bother to rouse from his position in the bed. Sasuke could see Naruto's smaller frame snuggle happily into the fat, over-blanketed bed. He could use such a resource during such a chilly, autumn night.
"You're funny Sasuke. You act as though you didn't here me when I told you of your consequences for being unemployed. Yup, you're quite comical, indeed. Have you considered ever having your own television series?" Naruto chirped throwing back the brunette's previous comment to him.
"Bastard..." Sasuke growled. "I thought you were just kidding! But even so, I still looked for a job! Fuck, what happened to that heart of gold that you're so well known for?!"
"It's down there in the eighth ozone layer of the sink. Wanna go fetch it for me?" Naruto replied, and even in the dark Sasuke could clearly envision the younger boy's smart-ass smirk, derived from yours truly.
Sasuke was quiet for a long period of time so Naruto took it upon himself to break the silence. "So, why isn't the Great Almighty Uchiha Sasuke employed yet? You were out there for six hours. It's now one a.m."
"Nobody wants to hire me because of my last name! Can you believe that?" Naruto gasped, and not sarcastically. Who wouldn't want to hire Uchiha Sasuke?
"Why?" he questioned.
"Half of them don't even believe that the 'Great Almighty Uchiha Sasuke,'" he quoted the blond with a glare, "is broke. They think I'm a goddamn imposter. The other half with more common sense fucking hate Uchihas, because we bought their once oh-so powerful company leaving them trying to squeeze nickels out of their toes."
"Hm. I can understand that. If I were one of them, I wouldn't want to hire you either."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "One lady had the nerve to tell me that everyday before she starts work, she burns our family symbol, the fan, to ashes. That the smell of the cinders reminds her that our 'greed-obsessed company will burn in the fire of our own avarice' and the scent really wakes her up in the morning."
The blond was laughing so hard he keeled over and was on the floor, right next to the dark-haired man. Once his humorous tremors died down, he sighed and looked into Sasuke's eyes. It annoyed Sasuke to see pity coating those azure orbs, but hey! Maybe it'll get him into that cozy bed!
"Okay," Naruto groaned. "Here's what you're going to do. If you clean that sink, and sweep up my room, I'll allow you to sleep on the floor. But," he raised his finger and shook it in front of the brunette mockingly, "only for tonight. If you want to sleep on the floor tomorrow night, you'll have to do something else, Sasuke."
Wide, obsidian orbs stared at him, disbelieving. "You-You can't be serious?! Naruto... you're insane! Where will I sleep if I choose not to do these errands, hm?"
"Outside my door, on the welcome mat," the blond quipped out.
"Naruto..." Sasuke showed the blond his heartbroken eyes. "Why?"
"Because it's time for you to earn your stay here, Sasuke. You'll be allowed all other privileges once you're employed."
"But don't you understand?! It's impossible for me to get employed! No one will hire me!" Sasuke yelled at his friend in distress.
But the bundle under the covers, topped by a blonde, spiky crop that was slowly rising and sinking was enough proof for Sasuke to know that his friend was asleep and would not be waking until sunrise.
He sat in the same position for half an hour, unmoving.
He was brooding.
He then stood up proudly. Eyes determined, he marched into the kitchen.
'No... I repeat! NO Uchiha sleeps outside! (AN: They don't sleep on the floor either, but... -shrug-) So if doing this commoner work is what needs to be done to allow me to obtain shelter, then so be it!'
By four am, Sasuke was done with the sink and the sweeping of the bedroom. He then awoke at five thirty am to search the yellow pages and daily newspaper for bright, red 'Work Wanted' and 'Employment Needed' ads.
"Survival of the fittest, Naruto-kun." Sasuke recalled his words from last night.
"And I'm the fucking fittest."
When Naruto awoke at seven am, he found the house empty, albeit himself and a note. Sasuke had left early to find employment again. He roused from bed to see his bedroom floor dustless. When going to the kitchen he smiled happily at seeing the sink spotless.
When his coffee was done with, and his mug rinsed, he thought about his best friend and the his determination.
'Poor Sasuke. Welcome to the average man's life. It seems that from now on, you're going to have to work like a dog, just to live like one.'
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Whew! First update in a while, ne? Does Naruto seem mean? Yes? Good. I hope I made Sasuke sarcastic and enough of a smart-ass. It's what I was going for since he's OOC. I hope this chapter was humorous.
