Alicia Gunther

October 25, 1949

It took me a little while to find you, but I'm glad I remembered where you were since last time. I haven't been to a Veteran's Day in Randgriz for a long time; business with the bakery is always greatest around this season.

But you know what? Something happened this year that made me want to see you again in this time of year. Something happened to make me realize that all these years I've never apologized to you, nor accepted your apology.

I remember that day very clearly. It was July 8, during the summer, when the children were out of school. Normally I would have my little ones help me bake and look over the customers, but seeing as the day wasn't a busy one, I let them out to play. It was perfectly natural…Welkin and I want our children to spend as much time outside as they can. It's simply good for them, regardless of any big example from nature Welkin has to explain it.

I remember watching them run off around the plaza. Isara, my eldest at twelve, was the ringleader, carrying four-year-old Faldio on her back. Theimer was skipping on the cobblestones, while Liesl and Lilly raced about as they always did. It seemed that day that they wanted to stay around the plaza; normally they would go off to the creek or to the Lion's Paw Meadow.

Two Town Watch stopped at my truck to buy some bread. They were on horseback, as some are in the habit of doing. I didn't think anything about it. In the background I could hear Theimer count the revolutions of the mill, Isara trying to teach Faldio a hand game of hers, Liesl and Lilly racing about…

The Town Watch on horseback had just started to gallop away when I heard a set of screams. I have only been frozen with fear twice in my life. The first was during that first confrontation at Bruhl, and the second time came upon me at that very moment. It was the gasps of bystanders that brought me out of that, and I think at that moment I ran the fastest I have ever run in my life. Those screams were worse than the screams of my dying comrades almost fifteen years ago…these were the screams of my children.

Thank God Isara inherited the leadership of her fathers. She had called my name almost immediately, and then looked for a pulse just as first aid had taught her, shouting at the Town Watch to fetch Ragnaid. As soon as I had arrived at her side she explained what had happened. Liesl and Lilly had been racing around the plaza, not mindful of their surroundings when they ran into the path of the mounted Town Watch. The Town Watch in front of Lilly had managed to just barely stop his horse, but for Liesl, who had been winning the race, it was too late.

I told Isara to get Welkin and Martha over as fast as possible. The Town Watch had ridden away, but I knew that they would be coming back with backup. One of the bystanders who lived nearby arrived with Ragnaid.

I know I've been talking really detailed to you so far, but to describe what Liesl was like…I can't do it. We all saw horrific things in the war, and you know that I'm the maternal type…can you imagine my thoughts at the wounds of my daughter, her blood staining the cobblestones, just lying there totally still? I wished that it had been me bleeding there instead of my beautiful daughter.

Welkin and the Emergency Town Watch arrived at the same time. I flew to Welkin and held him, finally letting loose my emotions. I knew that with those wounds there was nothing we could do at the moment. We had to leave it to the Field Medic and the Town Watch to evacuate her to the hospital.

The moment she arrived, they had to perform surgery. Liesl was still alive, but she had suffered a great deal of blunt trauma and bleeding from the impact. Martha came to take the children back to the house, and it was just Welkin and me, sitting there outside the operating room, gripping each other's hands in fear.

Welkin said nothing. He held my hand so tightly his knuckles were white, almost as if he were afraid to let me go. It was at that point I thought of you. Was I living the scenario that had happened all those years ago, but as the observer this time? It was at this point that I thought about all the pain I must have caused Welkin all that time ago.

The doctors finally came out of the operating room. Liesl's condition had stabilized, they said, but she had lost so much blood and received such trauma to her body and head that she might never be the same again. I thought the statement was preposterous. Regardless of whether she had changed for good or bad, she was still Liesl Gunther, my beautiful daughter.

We fell asleep at her bedside that night. My dreams were filled with the images of lances and red eyes and blue flames…it grew so bad that I woke up. It was if I had woken from one nightmare to another; my eyes were still filled with the image of blue flames. My eyes widened with horror as I realized that they were arising from my daughter…her blood had been activated by that accident.

I woke Welkin immediately. We were at a loss for words; we knew the only way she was to be revived was to be given that terrible lance. But we could not. How could we subject someone so young and innocent to the weight and power of the Valkyrur? What if she could not control her power? Who could stop her then?

We didn't sleep for the rest of the night. As morning approached the flames faded. We hoped that that would be the end, that her mysterious body would have healed all wounds. But it was not to be. Not only had her wounds not healed, she was running a high fever. The doctors could not explain it. She showed no signs of infection, but she was extremely hot. Intravenous Ragnaid, usually a fever reducer, only made it worse.

It continued for two more days, and every day her life continued to slip away. They had tried everything, but they knew nothing. Only we knew, and we broke in the end. We dispatched a private telegram to House Randgriz to loan the lance and shield to us. It came under armored car in the middle of the night.

As soon as I saw the lance and shield, I immediately felt them calling to me to pick them up and feel that power rush through me again. The urge was so overpowering I almost collapsed. But I resisted. I mustered all my willpower and told Welkin to take it.

It was now about midnight, and by this time Liesl was glowing, although more faintly than she had that first day. Supporting myself with her bedpost, I told Welkin to hold the lance and shield above the girl, our girl. There were tears in our eyes…I saw the heavy lance and shield tremble in his arms as he placed them on Liesl.

The moment the weapons touched the flame, it was as if Liesl was magnetically attracted to them. She sat up and grasped the weapons, opening her eyes. They were red as blood, and totally devoid of emotion. Her hair, lush and brown like mine, was silvery-white, and her skin was pale as death. So this was the visage of a new Valkyria.

Now that her hands grasped the weapons, the sudden temptations were gone. But it was at that moment that I could not restrain myself any longer. I embraced her, now sobbing uncontrollably, that I had caused my child to become the goddess of death as I had been, as Selvaria had been, as our mothers from long ago had been.

Then she returned my embrace. That slack, unfeeling feeling faded instantly, and she was now the one supporting me. I was shocked. I looked at her face. It was the face of ultimate calm, the face I had seen on those who had died for what was right. She smiled.

"Mommy…it's all right. I'm here."

That very moment I found my answer to that question I had asked Selvaria so long ago, how one could deal with the weight of being a Valkyria. The heart of a Valkyria was not war. That had been the fatal mistake of Selvaria and Maximilian. It was love. It was an answer only a child of peace could give.

"Liesl…sleep tight. We'll be right next to you."

I laid her glowing self back down in the bed, taking the weapons from her hands and passing them to Welkin. As I did I felt the power run through me, and the room blazed with my own flame. I was a Valkyria again. Like I did every night, I laid her down, pulling the blankets over her, and then I kissed her good night. With a flash it became dark again.

"Good night, Liesl. I love you so much."

"Good night, Mommy. I love you too."

There were tears in my eyes as Welkin and I went outside to return the lance and shield to the armored car waiting outside. Amid the light of the moon we watched it drive into the darkness.

"Welkin. She would have been a more powerful Valkyria than me. I know she would have."

We held each other in that way we did so long ago.

"Alicia…what we did was right. That was true victory."

So here I stand before you, Faldio Landzaat, alone. Fourteen years ago, you chose to use me as a tool of power, as a weapon of war, as a justified means to the end. But I know now that in that last battle you were begging me for forgiveness in every action, and I was selfish not to give it to you. Take my forgiveness and rest in peace.

But I was wrong too. I was wrong to think that nothing good could arise from your actions. I was wrong to think that I held the entire burden of the world on my shoulders, when it was but the corruption of power manifest in me. Faldio…please forgive me.