Thank you to all who have reviewed it's been very much appreciated. I do apologize for the long wait, chapter two took longer then I thought it would, but I did say as time allowed, so here it is, for your perusal… chapter two! ^_^

Title: The Very Odd Couple
Author: Jazzy
Rating: rating may change as chapters and story progress, right now I'd say PG-13 for subject matter
Pairing: Severus Snape/Sirius Black
Genera: Humor, Angst, Drama

Summary: Due to unforeseen events Sirius Black and Severus Snape have been partnered up and given the directive from the Order of the Phoenix and Dumbledore exclusively to watch over and protect Harry Potter savior of the Wizarding World. Eventual SS/SB Slash.


CHAPTER TWO
The Snape-Black Residence, nosy neighbors on both sides of the fence!

Petunia couldn't help the feeling of paranoia that kept creeping up the back of her neck. She felt watched. Every time she went into the yard there was one of those queer freaks in the neighboring yard, smiling at her. If she had an issue with one of the babies there would be one of them always there at the door, or crossing into her yard, ready to lend a helping hand. Even the neighborhood-watch had been infested by the two of them! Vernon wouldn't stop blustering and complaining about having a couple of queers in the all boys club known as the neighborhood watch. Did no one see what Vernon and Petunia saw when they looked on the two freaks? It didn't seem so. Not with other neighbors going on and on about how charming Sirius Black was, even Severus had somehow charmed his way into the hearts of the old biddies down the street, the matriarchs of the block, those Ladies of the Home Association group, of whom Petunia had been trying to get into their "benevolent" (as in a couple of sour old Dragons) regards for years. Severus Snape the gutter snipe, manner-less dog, ill-bred, poor trash from Spinner's End, was in those old biddies homes once a week enjoying tea and society gossip!

They invited her to tea quite often. Petunia sniffed around checking for anything freakish and rarely found it. She didn't know what they were up to but she didn't like it, not one bit! They seemed like a well mannered sort, even that no good Snape. Which she still didn't like and would rather never look at or speak to, thank goodness that Black fellow was the one to engage her in such charming conversation and sympathy. The man was so charming; it was such a waste of beauty being that he was gay. And why in hell would he choose to be stuck in a relationship with someone so ugly and sour as Severus Snape put the mind into a tizzy. It was so sad he was going to go to hell, on both accounts, being a witch/wizard freak what-have-you and gay. But they were rather nice to have around, even grudging she admitted that no good Snape.

She just couldn't figure out what they were up to!

Perhaps it should have been more obvious to her but being that she was a new mother as well as a wife taking care of her slovenly man and two new babes, and having slept so little her mind just wasn't quite up to adding "one-plus-one" or piecing a perfectly easy little puzzle together. Perhaps if she hadn't been so tired or so resentful of her duties as wife and mother she would have figured it out for herself. These two men weren't here just to live in a "normal" muggle manner, but to keep a close eye on her as well as on baby Harry and keeping an eye out for the murderers of Harry's parents, the Death-Eaters.

But she couldn't stop herself from handing over baby Harry at every opportunity, or complaining to a seemingly sympathetic ear. Her Dudders needed her more and Dudley was after all the child she had given birth to. She felt guilty about it; after all, she was exposing a baby to the immorality of two men living together in sin. But her Dudders was a handful and dealing with two babies? Well it was more than any one mother should have to put up with and the two men were always seemingly happy and eager to take little Harry into their home and to entertain and take care of the little nuisance.

Though she did have to admit that even Snape seemed somehow less sour when the baby was in his arms; he seemed uncharacteristically over protective and quite attached to little Harry, even though little Harry often took the opportunity to spit up on the man as often as he could, which pleased Petunia to no end which made the man scowl and ruined his contentment but not Petunia's. It was in truth the only endearing thing about Harry that she liked, that he spit on Severus Snape every time and in every way possible.

They took the pressure off her shoulders with Harry. She didn't have to do much mothering or parenting with the two of them around to help with Harry. As long as she never told Vernon where she dropped off Harry then she wouldn't have to put up with her husband's temper or recriminations.

Besides how could she give up the opportunity to snoop around a neighbor's household besides it wasn't as if the two men didn't snoop around her place either! And Sirius Black was always a delight to chat with.

"Thanks for taking care of Harry." She said as she handed over her burden yet again into their care.

Snape simply grunted, Harry in his arms bouncing the adorable bundle of joy, and shut the door in her face. A muffled, gasp of outrage came through the door but the sound of marching female feet down the gravel path came to his ear which satisfied Severus to no end and actually brought forth a rare smile, if quite a nasty one.


Then he turned his glowering eyes onto Sirius Black and hissed. "How can you put up with that woman, she's a wretch."

Harry took that moment to spit up whatever little bit he'd eaten for breakfast all over Severus' front. Severus glared balefully then sighed resigned he quickly called out a spell "scourgify" his clothes were back to clean and fresh from the laundry in seconds.

Little Harry babbled delightedly and clapped his hands squealing. "sco-ji scor-ji sco-ji"

Sirius's twinkled merrily. "Now, now, Severus, do you forget who I am?" asked Sirius with his usual charming yet superior seeming smile as he "acciod" his several year books with the countless witches leaving kisses on the pages and countless advances written in beautiful quill work.

Snape's face got darker. Snape scowled, yes, quite, how could he forget? He sneered, Sirius Black charming womanizer. There had been no need to flaunt his sexual prowess in his face and introduce young Harry to terrible influences. He covered Harry's eyes from the outrageous Year-Book full of photos of propositioning witches and wizards.

Seeing the message had been received Sirius Black's smile went up a few more superior notches but then in a flash the obnoxious smile was gone replaced with a warm one as he lunged forward to take the happy baby from Severus' arms.

"How's my smart little man, eh?" asked Sirius in lilting joyful tones. "Nasty carrots cum up did they?" he laughed.

Little Harry laughed as well and bounced some more in his godfather's arms. There was no doubt in the baby's mind that here was where his true family resided even the foul-tempered Severus Snape was kinder and warmer then Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon. Here he was loved.

"Kreacher! Kreacher where are you?" Called out Sirius in a less then pleased tone; he was always stern and a little put out with the house elf. Kreacher grumbled and ambled and shuffled his way slowly into the living room at his master's command. "Master Harry needs breakfast."

Severus Snape sneered at Sirius, it was just like the flighty man to pawn off his responsibilities to a house elf, even one as ill tempered and obviously dark and insane as Kreacher was. Yet something about the young child did something strange to Kreacher, maybe it was just that House Elfs needed little ones to attend to or possibly the spoiled brat had grown on the… well, creature.

"Kreacher is com'n little master. No needs to cry." Cooed the ugly thing. "Bads masters Black not feeds you yet?" he scowled darkly at Sirius Black, the worst of the Blacks and ugly white sheep, and total disgrace to the Black heritage. "Your Kreacher is coming."

Sirius glared at the cheeky elf but handed the baby over without more fuss. Harry looked up into his Kreacher's beady eyes and cooed back, garbling and babbling in baby's languages to Kreacher making him smile, grabbing at gnarled ears and a nose that was even uglier then Snape's own. Surprisingly baby Harry seemed to adore Kreacher which had no end of surprised delight for the shriveled house elf.


Snape went down to the basement leaving Sirius Black, the Kreacher Black, and baby Harry to their own machinations while he tended to his steeping potions and impatient ingredients below. He told himself he didn't need or want this cozy little family scene, but he couldn't help to feel anxious and even disgruntled. He hated leaving little Harry with Black and that evil Kreacher but his potions were far too important too delicate to leave on their own. He refused to have the Blacks and Potter interfere with his important works.

Still he couldn't help feeling left out and a bit peevish. He didn't want Harry to grow up into a Black! Let alone an arrogant Potter!

He hoped to influence the child to grow up into someone that he knew Lilly, the woman he still loved and mourned, and the Mother of young Harry, would be proud of.

Blast St Mungos and Hogwarts, both, for taking his time away from the raising of his Lilly's child! Glaring dark enough to make things spontaneously combust Severus flounced down the last few steps into his heavily spelled and reinforced potions lab.


TBC


Have no clue what chapter three is going to be about just yet, but I hope to update as time allows. I am hoping to bring forth more fireworks in later chapters.

Also I might try my hand at a "Snupin" story someday soon. I am finding I really love that pairing!

Reviews would be lovely. Thank you for reading!