A/N: Right. 'Under New Management' Will remain by itself as a one-shot, and therefore always complete, but because of a reminder that CastleFUCKIN'vania/Soul Reaver crosovers are extremely rare, I'll continue to post chapters pertaining to the current plot device (i.e yivo's kid being squidman and Death's pet). When I feel like it. But because this is my first posted fic, I don't intend to abandon it for more than a few months. By technicality, it is complete, but i'll keep writing anyway. Just remember to feed Lil' Sluagh every once in a while. He can't live on souls alone y'know. Not this Sluagh.
Disclaimer: I am poor in all aspects, so by technicality, I own the world. Why? Because Jesus said so. So, NYAH!
"What! Why?" Death felt the phantom headache start to tickle his eye sockets.
"Well, because he's so freaking cool!" Dracula looked like he had just gotten an invatation to the first annual Blood Fest, with a cupon for a 20 harem girl. (He still regretted knocking over the ink bottle. 'But all the other vampire overlords had one!' He would whine.)
"Well, you wouldn't be able to use it anyway!" Death argued.
"Please? I promise to go on a village raid tonight if you do. Puh-leeeEEEEEEse?!" He begged, putting on his best puppy faces, which wasn't very pretty in the first place.
It was very painful to hear Dracula whine like that. "Fine," He relented, "Give it here."
Dracula sqeeled like a rabid fangirl, and handed over Fonzie's soul.
Death closed his hand over the soul, and in a completely un-dramatic fasion, it immeadiately turned into a glowing ball of marble.
"Is it done? Lemme see!"
"Ah! No, touchie, just lookie." Death found it easier (and slightly amusing) to talk in simple terms, instead of cryptic metaphors all the time.
Dracula stared at it as if it were The One Ring. "Ohhhh...shiny!" He exclaimed, making a grab for it.
"What did I just tell you?!" Death warned, yanking it away from his reach.
"But it's mine!"
"That's it!" Death hurled it in an undetermined location, not caring where it ended up.
Dracula's expression fell. "Awww..."
"That's what you get for not listening..." Death mumbled under his breath before floating off to his room. He did not want to witness the possibility of the world's most powerful (and not to mention ugly as all hell) vampire crying like a child who's lost his toy. Actually, technically speaking, he IS a child...
--In some undetermined time in the future--
Alucard cut through another swath of skeletons, who were standing around arguing about something called 'football'.
"Alucard! Wait! There's something here in this wall!" Fairy pointed to a small, crater shaped hole in the wall.
It easily crumbled under the force of his blade, revealing a small alcove with a glowing black orb hovering within.
"What is it? I've never seen a relic like this before." Alucard examined it from a distance.
Fairy flipped through her book, which seems to appear out of nowhere at just the right time.
"Well, according to this, it's called the 'Soul Of Fonzie'. There's no real description about it, but it doesn't have any negative side affects."
Alucard shrugged and plucked it from the alcove, watching as he absorbed it.
"I don't feel any different." He said, turning to find out if Fairy had any more information. He nearly crapped his pants when he saw how close Fairy was to his face.
"Um...are you okay? You don't look so good." He noticed the glassy look in her eyes.
"Huh? Yeah, i'm fine. You know...you have the most beutiful eyes..." She mused, going deeper into la la land.
"Maybe you should rest."
"...Uh...huh..." She wasn't really paying attention.
Alucard dismissed the daydreaming fairy, and went on ahead.
--later--
"Alucard...I...love...you..." Maria was also seemingly in this zombified state.
"I think the castle has gotten to your head, Maria." He said, backing away slowly. Maria lurched toward him.
"Yeah...head..."
Then without warning, she tackled him. "MAKE LOVE TO ME, YOU AWESOMELY COOL UBER-FREAK!"
--
Death, given some free time, decided to check up on what's-his-name, and see how well he was running the place.
The office was a mess. The time manipulator was missing a few vital pieces, the rest of the manipulators were trashed, there were papers strewn about, and the little squid was nowhere to be found. Not to mention all of these slimy things hanging off the walls, which he could only assume was either eggs, or lumps of crap.
Furious, he banged his scythe and poofed himself to the mortal realm. Immeadiately after appearing, he was knocked upside the skull by the hilt of a sword. "I thought I told you goddamn cultists to stop coming to my house!"
Death spun around to face the attacker, which happened to be an equally angred, green...thingy. "Do you not realize who you are dealing with mortal!?" He roared in his best demonic voice.
"Huh?"
"I'm Death, you little green monkey shit. Where can I find the Elder God?" Death demanded, feeling around under his hood for any damage. He found a nice gaping hole where a piece of his skull fell in.
"I have no need to fear Death! I am Immortal! Invincible!" The green dude argued, waving his arms about in a chibi fashion.
"Oh yes you will in a moment. But answer my question: Where is the Elder God?"
"Squid Man? Nobody knows. everybody liks to think he's under the pillars, but that's a bunch of bullcrap."
"Right Thanks. By the way, what's your name?"
"Vorador."
"Nice. See ya in a few."
Death teleported to what was obviously the pillars. He tapped around the platform a while with his scythe, smashing a hole through the stone when he came to a hollow spot. Dropping through the hole, he was greeted by a booming voice.
"Who dares enter the lair of the Elder God?!"
"Looks like you took to your name pretty well. Would you mind telling me why you're here, instead of in the office?"
"Death? Well, I needed more room, and I wasn't about to just smash up the place. So I settled for trashing it first." He tossed aside the horn he was using to amplify his voice.
"Well, would it kill you to at least tell me these things first?" Death found that even though it was physically impossible, he had a headache. "Look, I'll let you off the hook this one time. Just do me a favor?"
"Shoot."Loco said, his tentacles waving madly about, plucking souls from here and there, stuffing them into his wheel.
"Can you get this guy called 'Vorador'? He gave me a lovely fracture, and i'd like to return the favor."
"Sure. But I get to bring him back."
"Why?"
"I'm using him for something. Look, i'll have him beheaded, alright?"
"Fair enough." Death heard the familiar whining in his head. "Look, I gotta go. Just...don't create any paradoxes, okay? Some rediculiously insane people come from those. Most of them incredibly stupid."
Death appeared back at Dracula's side. "WHAT! What's with all the whining!?"
Dracula sqeeled again. "SPIDER!"
A/N: Okay, I know it's been a long time, but give me a break. I'm moving, I'm sick, school started, I'm banned, I suck at math and i'm also mandolin impaired. NYAH! Most of it will consist of castlevania, but it will eventually shift into a more balanced ground between the two universes. Most of the castlevania stuff that is influenced by Nosgoth will be in the timeline of Symphony of the night (becuase of all the item use), but there could be some scattered stuff throughout the CV timeline. It'll most likely skip through all of the important parts of Dracula's reign (Like how he got his butt whipped by a girl). Some of it might make more sense as well, because I did my research and actually played the LOK games. Expect the full fan treatment later on. Also, Vorador seems like the kind of guy who knows more than he lets on, so he'll be pretty important for escaping plot holes. "I HOPE SHE MADE LOTSA SPOILAHS!" -alternate Weegee cackles madly
