I am so happy the first chapter went down so great with you guys. Thank you all for your kind words.
In case it was not evident or I forgot to mention this fic. is not 100% canon. Certain things did not happen in the backstory here and other things might have gone a bit differently.
To be honest if I stuck to how the series went to the word there would be no need for this and I could just watch the episodes.
This chapter came out rather quickly and I greatly enjoyed writing it. I hope you like it.
Tony still felt numb when he landed back in DC. He quickly found a cab and gave the driver the address to his apartment. The cabbie had tried to make small-talk with Tony, but Tony quickly shot him a look that said he was not in the mood.
When they rolled into the street where his apartment complex knew he needed someone to talk to. He needed Gibbs. He told the cab driver that he had changed his plans and needed to go to a different place. Tony quickly put his bag in his apartment and gave the cab driver Gibbs' address.
Once at Gibbs' he found the door unlocked as always, and Gibbs not in the living room. He could hear sounds coming from the basement as always and he would not have expected anything else from Gibbs.
Tony slowly opened the basement door and started walking down the stairs. His thoughts still raging with the events earlier. He barely got any sleep while flying back, only once dozing off. But he immediately was hit with a nightmare when he finally entered some sleep. The dream still haunting him hours after.
He was back on the rooftop just over 9 years ago. Gibbs and Kate were standing there as was on that fateful day and just like that day Kate was shot. But when he rushed over to Kate's body he could see Ziva lying there. Her cloths and skin as ragged as when he had found her in Somalia, the only difference was the bullet hole on her forehead.
He had almost screamed when his eyes shot open, but he regained his composure just in time. Tony was shaken from his thoughts when he heard Gibbs call from the bottom of the basement.
"Are you going to come down Dinozzo or just stand there all night?"
Tony walked down the stairs. "Sorry boss, I was thinking about something. How did you even know it was me?"
"I heard you open the front door." Gibbs said while putting down the piece of sanding paper he was using on his newest boat.
"You told her how you feel." Gibbs just simply stated, it was not a question in any way.
Tony was amazed that still after all these years Gibbs could just read him like an open book. He never even spoken about his feeling for Ziva with anyone, not even and especially not Gibbs. But here he was just telling Tony he knew all along.
Gibbs looked around his workbench for something to use as 2 glasses. When he found a pair which weren't too dirty he poured them both some Bourbon. Tony took a seat and nodded thanking Gibbs for the drink.
"How long have you known?" Tony simply asked.
"Long enough, even before Jeanne."
"And you never said anything!?" Tony was surprised that Gibbs knew that long how he had felt about Ziva. "Not even a warning about rule 12?"
"If you guys had acted on it, there would have been no way to stop you." Gibbs' face serious.
Gibbs shot Tony another look "And do you really think that rule 12 applies here?" Gibbs shook his head. "Rule 12 is to prevent office flings not what you had with Ziva. Not to stop love."
Tony looked at Gibbs amazed. 12 years and he still had not learned anything about Gibbs and his rules it seemed.
Tony smiled bitterly at that. He would have given up his space on the team just to be with Ziva.
"So what happened when you told her?" Gibbs enquired.
"She slapped me." Tony said with a laugh "So I kissed her.".
Gibbs just smiled at that."Seeing you are here I assume she didn't feel the same?"
"No Gibbs, I don't think that. I could feel that she wanted it but then she started crying and she walked off." Tony said sadly.
"Why did you wait so long to tell her anyway? I thought you would have told her within a year."
Tony's mind just kept going over what he could have done to convince her. Should he have said something else? Should he have ran after her? It was just tearing him up inside.
"You're taking a few days off Dinozzo."
"Boss I don't need a few days off, I just want to come into work and forget it all happened."
"You don't just forget someone like that Tony." Gibbs' tone of voice had shifted into his more serious tone. "Do you think I want to forget Ziva? Or that Abby or McGee wants to forget her?"
Tony gulped knowing he had said something wrong, even though he didn't mean what he said.
"Ziva was like a daughter to me. And sometimes you have to let go." Gibbs' voice had taken a less angry tone now.
Tony just nodded.
"But you can't let go while in the field, or in the office surrounded by things that remind you of her."
"But Boss, we're already 1 team member down."
"Don't worry about that, McGee and I will manage."
Gibbs' voice made it clear that there would be no point in arguing about this.
"Thanks Boss." Tony just said.
Tony spend some time talking with Gibbs about just about anything but Ziva or Israel. He called a cab to pick him up at Gibbs' place. Thinking he might get some sleep now.
Tony walked into his apartment and just dropped onto the bed. Between a 19 hour flight and a 7 hour time difference Tony had no clue what time it was. He looked at his alarm clock and green letters read 2:47. Tony just groaned seeing what time it was.
Even though everything that had happened and the hours without sleep, Tony's mind and body still refused to go to sleep. For the next 2 hours he lay in his bed tossing and turning unable to find rest. After a while he put on his DVD of Goldfinger hoping that one of his favourite movies could put his mind off the past few days' events. However, he just ended up staring at the screen not really watching the movie.
His mind kept wandering to Ziva and thinking about how much he had screwed up. He knew that he probably had lost her forever, if he only had the courage to express his feelings earlier. His thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking on his door. Tony looked over to his alarm clock which read 5:21, Tony sighed it was almost morning and he still had not had any sleep at all.
The knocking continued. "I swear if this is McGee I am going kill him." Tony muttered to himself while walking to the door.
Tony opened the door and his heart stopped. His mind couldn't comprehend what he saw for it was an impossibility to him. In front of him he saw Ziva, her eyes red and tears running down her face.
"Ziva..." he gasped.
It was all he could say before Ziva launched at him, wrapping her arms around him. Tony could do nothing but close his arms around her while she started sobbing into his shoulder
"Ani mitnatzel." Was all she said over and over again.
Tony was still shocked to find Ziva standing at his door but he could not deny that it felt amazing to hold her right now. Hearing her say sorry over and over again in Hebrew made him feel intensely happy and broke his heart at the same time. It hurt him to see her sad but at the moment he was happy that this might mean something good for once.
Tony walked them both slowly inside holding her close, afraid that she would disappear. Once he had closed the door he took a look at the woman in her arms and he could not help a small smile creeping onto his face.
"It's ok." Whispered to her once her had closed the door. There they stood in his living room just holding each other. Tony could not help some tears welling up in his eyes.
Ziva did not stop apologising, seemingly having lost all grip on her English because she just kept on talking in Hebrew and while Tony understood some of the words he could not follow what she was saying.
"Hey Ziva" Tony said softly while gently putting touching her chin directing her face towards his "it is ok. You are here now and nothing else matters."
Then for the second time he kissed her. Within seconds she melted into his kiss. Tony made sure to show her just much he loved her with that one kiss. He put every bit of love he had for Ziva behind that kiss and he felt Ziva respond in kind. After what could have been hours or minutes they broke apart resting their foreheads against each other.
Staring into each other's eyes both were content in their little world which encompassed nothing more than themselves at that moment.
"I cannot believe you are here right now." Tony whispered "I thought I had lost you forever.".
He kissed her again as if to make sure for himself that this wasn't just some dream. After another minute or two ended their kiss and Ziva rested her head against Tony's chest the two of them still standing in Tony's living room.
Ziva was content to stand there for a while, just enjoying finally being close to Tony. Ziva had returned to her apartment in Israel after leaving Tony at the airport. On her way back she started to feel more guilt and more regret by the mile she drove. By the time she arrived at her apartment she didn't know if she wanted to scream at herself or to cry.
Finally Tony had told her how he felt about her and it turned out to be the same as she felt for him. Throughout the years they had flirted and joked with each other constantly, but never did she have the gut to take Tony up on his offers to go on a date. She always had a feeling that Tony only half jokingly put the offers out, and the other half he was dead serious about going on a date.
Looking around her apartment she now saw how barren and utilitarian was. The spartan decoration didn't feel like that at Gibbs' house. Gibbs' decoration fit with his personality and still even though it only contained the necessary things it still felt like home. Her apartment did not have that same feel, it just felt void and empty.
The only personal things she had around were a handful of photos on the wall next to her kitchen. She walked towards the pictures and took a look. Most of them were of her time in the US.
A picture of the team celebrating christmas, all gathered round a full table with a lit menorah adorning the table. A picture of herself when she became a US citizen, pictures of her with Tony and Abby and McGee.
One picture stood out, it was of Ziva with her family when she was younger. Actually it was the last picture of her family completely together. A tear escaped her eyes when she realised that she was the only person left of that photo. Next to where the picture of her family hung was one of the the NCIS team.
It was then and there that she realised that she did have a family, however, it was no longer Israel but in Washington. The looked longingly at the smiling face of Tony on the picture, he was standing next to herself.
Tears started running down her cheeks. "Ohh god what have I done." she said out loud to herself. "He told me he was in love with me and I just walked away."
Ziva started crying harder. It were both tears of joy and fea. Joy that Tony thought the same about her and fear that she might have thrown it all away before it even began.
She knew that it would be difficult and that she needed to take her time to do it right with Tony but she trusted him implicitly. He would never hurt her and would respect her boundaries, at least she hoped he would. At the same time she was afraid that the former playboy would not want to wait and that he would break her heart.
In a way she was more scared than ever. Even in Somalia, when her captors did horrible things to her. Things which left physical and mental scars. But she had no time to entertain such thoughts. Tony would never do such things and Tony would wait for her to be ready.
She made up her mind. She was done waiting and living for others. She was going to risk her heart and hope Tony would forgive her for walking away.
Ziva was racing through traffic making her way to the airport. While talking on the phone to some woman from for an airline.
"Look, I don't care what it costs. I need a flight to Washington DC now. I'll take a private jet if need be." She was getting annoyed, the woman clearly didn't understand that she would pay whatever it took get to Washington and to Tony.
"Ok miss, please calm down" the airline woman said on the other end of the phone, a hint of fear in her voice. "I can have a private plane ready within the hour. But it will be expensive."
"Just make sure it is ready, I will pay."
When she arrived she almost ran through the airport to the check-in desk she was told to report to. Taking out her wallet she looked at the bankcard hidden in the depths of it. Her father's lawyer had given it to her.
After her father passed away she had his lawyer handle the estate. Her father had left her a substantial sum of money together with a number pieces of real estate and other valuables. She never dared touch any of it, seemingly not knowing what she was to do with it all. She had always thought of donating most of it to some charity or orphanage, but she hadn't decided on what exactly. However, now some of this money had a good purpose, something for herself.
She quickly handled the formalities of the airline and when she was done she was informed that indeed her plane was ready as she had requested.
The 15 hour flight was torture for her. She could not sleep nor sit still. Her mind kept going over everything that could go wrong. Tony could outright reject her. Tony could not want to handle her demons. Tony could not be attracted to her due to her scars.
On 6 separate occasions she almost told the crew to turn the plane around. But the still lingering feeling of the kiss she shared with Tony convinced her every time to risk it all and keep going.
Now she was standing in Tony's apartment, wrapped in Tony's arms, her head on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat which had slowed down during the time they were standing like this. Notwithstanding how nice this felt she felt the need to talk with Tony about everything.
"Tony, I am so sorry." Ziva started to say.
Tony had no idea why she was apologizing because he didn't care what happened earlier, she was here now and that was all that mattered.
"Don't apologize." Tony looked down and gave her a quick kiss on her lips to silence her once more.
"You look tired." he said softly.
She smiled "So do you." she replied.
"Lets go to bed." Tony said while he started moving them both towards his bedroom.
Ziva froze at those words. This was what she was afraid of.
Tony noticed her change in demeanor. He brushed the back of his fingers over her cheek, the touch instantly ripping her out of her thoughts. She leaned into his touch, his fingers soothing any fears she had. She was surprised how he was the only who could touch her like this without her freaking out. And that his touch took away all the bad things in her mind in one go.
"Ziva," Tony said seriously while looking her right in the eyes. "I wont do anything that you don't want. I could even sleep on the couch if you want."
Ziva's heart filled with joy at these words. He was giving her whatever space she needed. She could control the pace of their relationship and it was the exact thing she needed to hear at that moment. For Tony she was willing to push aside her fears.
"Can I borrow a shirt?" Ziva said blushing "I kind of forgot everything back in Israel.".
Tony gave her a big smile at that "Of course you can, you can have everything of me that you want." he said looking directly in her eyes, the deeper meaning behind those words not lost on Ziva.
Silently they made their way into his bedroom. He handed her one of his shirts so she could sleep in that and she made her way into the adjoining bathroom so she could change.
When she came out Tony was already lying bed.
She made her way under the covers and lay next to him. It took a few minutes of turning before she decided that she actually needed to feel Tony right now.
"Tony is it ok if I… If we…" her words failed her at that moment.
Tony knew what she wanted to ask and he moved his arm in an effort to pull her closer. He wrapped his arm around her and she lay down on his chest. A smile crept onto her face as she heard his steady heartbeat beneath her.
This was exactly what Ziva needed and within seconds she was dozing off. The last thing she felt was Tony gently kissing to top of her head and she was off into the best sleep she had had in years.
So that is that. I hope you enjoyed.
Please let me know what you think about it.
