Chapter 2 welcome to the party
- Jarod
"So you fags are goin' to Siberia ey? I hear that place is hell." said the pilot.
"Yeah, well, you know what they say. Join the military, see the world." I said.
"See the world they said! All I see is fucking snow!" said Alex as he looked out the plane window.
We had been on the plane for several hours now, making a few stops here and there to refuel and pick up equipment. We were on a cargo plane headed to the F.O.B. in Siberia.
With us, we had a few arms, assault rifles and the like, some light artillery, and in case anything ever hit the fan an M1 Abrams tank. Below us was the barren white tundra of northern Russia. Up here in Siberia we would be all alone amidst the snow.
"Oh fuck." said the pilot
"Oh fuck what?" I asked.
Andy whimpered in the back of the plane, so did Rainbow Dash.
"Oh fuck what?" I said again.
"The⦠the engines are frozen. We're goin down."
"FUCK," I said.
"Wait, guys, I thought something like this would happen, with our luck. So everyone get in the tank." Alex said.
As he said that seventeen-foot-long spike of ice barreled through the front of the plane and impaled the pilot in the face.
"Well fuck me in the ass and call me Obama, everyone in the tank NOW," I said as I ran towards the tank. We all got into the tank and braced for impact, the plane was dipping fast and it would be mere seconds before we hit the ground.
What we did not know is that we weren't going to land in Siberia...
- 3rd person
It was a lovely day. Celestia sat in her throne room sipping some tea and reflecting on recent events. It had been three years since the incident with those humans.
Ponyville had been completely destroyed in the terror that they caused, and they even killed three of the elements of harmony. May Applejack's, Pinkie's, and Rainbow Dash's souls rest in piece.
Luckily we had found the root cause of their mayhem, Discord had come back from his imprisonment. It was tough going for a while, with the elements of harmony gone it was tough going to defeat him.
But where we couldn't rely on the elements of harmony, our severely outdated military was given a muzzle lift. Upgraded armor, better utilization of magic, and better weapons.
The economy is even better than it used to be. And now Discord lies, chained to an enchanted table for the rest of his days. Yes, things were looking up.
KRAKOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM
- 3rd person
Sparkle Dust was just a regular maid, she worked for the royal castle at Canterlot, cleaning the rooms and halls every day.
It was a humble, painstaking job, but she enjoyed it. She had just finished cleaning every room in the castle when she heard a loud explosion from the throne room. Smoke billowed through the halls and she felt her work crashing down around her.
Centuries of dust fell from the rafters, coating the halls in a cloud of filth. She screamed. Her heart couldn't take it. Her magic went haywire and her head imploded from the sensory overload.
- Alex
"I think we landed, " I said. I looked to Jarod, "You know what to do."
He pushed the stick forward and the tank began to roll out of the cargo bay. The tank was blaring the ride of Valkyries and the barrel had "DABIGPOOP" written on it in paint.
I poked my head out of the top of the tank. I was taken aback by what I saw. We were in Celestia's throne room, and the outside of the plane was surrounded by royal guards.
"Dakota, you're on the gun! We're in Equestria boys! And these ponies don't look too happy to see us!"
"SEIZE THEM, WAIT NO, KILL THEM!" Celestia shouted.
I grab war hammer from within the tank and clamored onto the top. The metal beast roared as the tank slowly moved out of the wreckage of the plane the royal guards formed a phalanx to try and halt the beast of steel.
"HOLD THE LINE COLTS!" the commanding guard said.
"Dakota fire at will! Jarod, get me in close!" I yelled down into the tank. I got my war hammer ready to strike any of them that got too close.
KA-BOOM
I watched as the phalanx of guards was blown into the air and turned into fine red mist. The remaining guards attempted to flank us but when they got close I swung down with my hammer, busting skulls.
The guards who weren't killed by my blows were left reeling in pain and agony. Meanwhile, the tank continued to fire, destroying the ornate stained glass windows of the room and the marble walls and pillars.
It wasn't long before the guard was decimated. I turned my sights to Celestia's throne, but she was gone. Probably fled in the panic of the havoc we were wreaking. I climbed back into the tank.
"Alright, let's blow this popsicle stand," I said.
The tank lurched forward, smashing through the great oak doors of the throne room. We crashed through the halls. Breaking through until we reached the outside. As we exited the castle into the courtyard we saw a legion of guards preparing to stop us. I snickered.
"Show these vegans what we're made of."
We barreled through them, decimating their ranks. We continued on our way through downtown canterlot. Our destination: the cliff. The guards tried time and time again to stop us to no avail. As we pushed on, the gun kept firing.
I used the speaker system on the tank, usually used for crowd control, to speak to the guards and residents of Canterlot.
"Your town looks like shit, its bad and you should feel bad."
Finally, we made it to the cliff.
"Why did you want us to come here, Alex?" Jarod asked.
"Yeah, this feels like it hurts us more than it helps" Dakota chimed in.
"Well.." I said. "Have any of you seen the A-Team?"
"Yeah, tons of times," Jarod said.
"Well.. you see we're gonna drive off the cliff and-"
"You put parachutes on the fucking tank didn't you."
"Yup"
"You know that's not how physics works right? We'll drop like a-"
"Ah-ah-ah-ah-ha! The gravity is lighter here, remember?"
"Oh yeah. I forgot."
"So punch it faggot."
With that, the tank lurched forward once more and we went plummeting off the cliff. I deployed the parachutes, and soon thereafter we hit the ground with a thud.
