I never talked to him before, I thought as we passed by each other in the hall. He was kind of odd, not much of a talker. Silent in the classes I've had with him; although he seems to talk most to my best friend.
I myself have never talked to him, wondering if he ever noticed me the way that I somehow noticed him. How he was so quiet and different. How you could have no idea of who he was. I found myself one day wondering if he ever thought about these things himself. If he ever thought about me.
I shook the thought immediately from my head, scolding myself for thinking too much about him.
Grade ten seemed to be so much better than grade nine; grade nine sucking the life out of me wasn't fun. It was already 5 months into the school year, January being the most boring month of the year so far.
He spoke to me on the 10th of January.
We were in class and my teacher had given us groups for an assignment. It was me, him and some slacker guy named Paul, who didn't give a shit about anything. We sat in our group and Paul immediately put his head down on his desk and went to sleep.
"That's great," I said looking at Paul, "Let's pray he doesn't wake up."
"You're Ariana right?" He asked me.
I nodded, "Carson, right?"
He smiled," Yeah… I guess it's just you and me doing this project."
I nodded looking back at Paul who had started snoring. Carson and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.
The whole period Carson and I worked on the project, harmoniously. Both of our minds thinking the same things I guess you could say. I've never had a connection like that with anyone, ever. If someone had told me that we will never become friends, I don't think I would have believed them.
I started to see more of him, his grayish green eyes sticking to mine a few times a day in the halls. If I knew exactly what to say to him, would it come out right? If every time I caught his eye now my heart fluttered, what would happen when I tried to talk to him outside of class? Would I even be able to talk properly? I walked out into the hall and passed by him. His eyes stuck to mine but instead of just passing onwards, he stopped walking and smiled at me.
"Hey." He said.
"Um- Yeah- Uh- I mean, hey." I sputtered out.
He smiled at me, waved and walked off. I was frozen in place. What
just happened? I was so confused.
But soon this became a reoccurring event, Carson stopping me in the hallway. At the beginning it was just a "hey" but then he began to start up conversation. A lot of times it ended on my behalf as I ran out of breath while my heart just about fluttered up my throat. One day he brought up a movie that I really wanted to see.
"Oh, I really wanna see that," I said to him, my heart calming down on a familiar subject, "It looks hilarious."
He raised his eyebrows at me, "You wanna see that? I didn't think you were into that kind of stuff."
Has he been judging me?
"Well, there are a lot of things I'm into. And by the way, you just judged me."
He scrambled for words but I ignored him and walked away.
I knew it seemed bitchy. I don't know why but I really liked him and it hurt to hear him judge me. Once I finally made it to my locker he was there waiting.
"How- wha-?" I didn't understand how he got there first.
"Let me make it up to you." He said looking me straight in the eyes.
"How?" I asked, my hear quickening its pace, and he shrugged.
"I owe you one." He said backing away but not taking his eyes off mine.
Finally he was halfway down the hallway and turned around. I didn't
realize that I was holding my breath until then. It was only then that I realized why every time he looked my way, I became flustered. My heart raced. My brain malfunctioned.
He was something special. Different. Amazing.
My brain instantly made a connection.
He was probably one of the most mysterious people I've ever met; most
likely the most. But he wasn't mysterious in a dangerous sort of way, just very unpredictable. You could never tell what he was thinking. He was so hard to read.
But if I'm not mistaken, he was just flirting with me. Unless owing me has nothing to do with flirting with me, he wasn't flirting with me.. Or was he? Oh god, why was this so complicated? I really need some expertise advice, but from who? Oh god. What am I going to do?
