This fanfic was originally published on December 17, 2007


APPA: Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully automated APPA unit. To ensure you get the full benefits of your Sky Bison. Please pay close attention to the following instructions.

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Basic Information:

Name: APPA

Date of Manufacture: Approximately 106 years ago

Place of Manufacture: Eastern Air Temple

Nationality/Ethnicity: Air Nomad (Sky Bison)

Height: About 12 ft at the shoulder

Weight: 10 tons (whether is metric or English unit tons we don't know)

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Your APPA unit will come with the following accessories:

One (1) Saddle

One (1) Rope for reins

One (1) AANG unit with separate owner's manual (this is a 2 for one deal)

One (1) Fire Nation circus costume

One (1) Custom-Made sky bison armor with two (2) barrels of water via a SOKKA unit

One (1) Samurai outfit for AANG unit hallucinations

Three (3) or is it four (4) swords for AANG unit hallucinations

But interestingly enough your APPA unit does not come with a MOMO unit or a bison whistle. You may purchase either a MOMO unit or a bison whistle separately from us or from an antiques dealer (will cost you ยง199.99 if you buy it from us).

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Programming:

Your APPA unit is a beast of burden and while he is more practical than MOMO units he is not as versatile as his Avatar the Last Airbender human counterparts.

Transportation Source: (Default Program) APPA units are specifically trained to carry people from point A to point B using airbending. Even though many humans will regard your APPA unit as just that; a source of transportation, he needs love and affection from the occasional human to keep him going. This is why APPA units come with AANG units. Because it takes more energy for your APPA unit to airbend than it does to walk, he will become tired after awhile and walk on the ground or swim.

Fighter: While not specifically trained for this he can fight and be a mounted battle-ready bison. Your APPA unit can stomp, claw, swipe, gore with his horns, bite, blow away, and whack people with his tail. Your APPA unit can handle a lot of stress but even he will become frightened after awhile. Especially if fireballs are flying through the air.

Circus Performer: While APPA units do not enjoy doing this, you can get him to perform tricks. We strongly advise against making him fly through a flaming hoop of fire or whipping him to get him to do anything. Also we suggest using your AANG unit as his trainer.

WARNING: Do not let a Fire Nation circus animal trainer to train your APPA unit or he will become pyrophobic.

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Your APPA unit has six (6) settings:

Happy: Whenever he is enjoying himself or is around an AANG unit.

Frightened: If he is in battle fighting continuously for too long. Or he is mistreated and doesn't get angry.

Upset: When he gets separated from an AANG unit for too long. Or he gets stuck due to his large girth.

Angry: When humans mistreat your APPA unit, he is very miserable, or a MOMO unit is playing with his bison whistle.

Pyrophobic: This setting will not be available (hopefully) unless he is mistreated by firebenders.

Licking Mode: When he can't resist the urge to lick people that he likes.

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Relations with other units:

Your APPA unit is a friendly unit if he hasn't been mistreated recently; and is compatible with just about any other unit that will not mistreat him.

(AVATAR) AANG: Is more than just a means to get around to an AANG unit; he loves this unit as a beloved pet. Your APPA unit is usually happy around an AANG unit and is therefore the most compatible unit.

WARNING: Destruction or theft of your APPA unit will cause Aangry mode in your AANG unit to unlock.

MOMO: These two units have been known to mess with each other. For instance an APPA unit has been documented holding down a piece of fruit with one of his toes so a MOMO unit can't pick it up. And a MOMO unit has been seen playing with a bison whistle to drive him nuts. However MOMO units will try to help your APPA unit in any way they can if he gets stuck; and will miss him if separated for too long.

KATARA: Is more than just a means to get around to a KATARA unit more than you would think due to the fact that they can be affectionate towards him and are compatible enough for a KATARA unit to get your APPA unit to play sick.

WARNING: If theory of compatibility is wrong keep any KATARA units when they have purple berries away from your APPA unit.

SOKKA: Will mainly regard your APPA unit as a source of transportation but won't have a problem grooming him while you go have fun. If a MOMO unit goes missing he will automatically assume that your APPA unit ate him.

TOPH BEI FONG: Will mainly regard your APPA unit as a source of transportation but won't blatantly say it in front of an AANG unit. TOPH units do not like riding on APPA units because they suffer from motion sickness and can not see what is going on.

SUKI: If she finds your missing APPA unit she will take care of him as long as she can.

GURU PATHIK: If your APPA unit gets lost he will help him find his way back.

LONG FENG: Will hold your APPA unit as a trump card if he manages to capture him.

ZUKO: Out of all the evil things that he has done, animal cruelty is not on his list. So if a ZUKO unit does manage injure him it was because your APPA unit was at the wrong place at the wrong time while he was attacking your AANG unit. If a ZUKO (Version 2.0) unit frees him from a LONG FENG unit your APPA unit will appreciate him and will lick ZUKO units; even if they're not covered in honey.

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Cleaning:

Your APPA unit is not capable of cleaning himself for the most part. So you will have to do it yourself. Do not machine wash (he won't fit anyways), do not tumble dry, do not hang on the line to dry, and don't forget to clean between his toes.

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Energy:

Since airbending uses up a lot of chi make sure that he is fed thrice daily with plenty of hay, fruits, and vegetables to fill up his five stomachs.

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Frequently Asked Questions:

Q: Is my APPA unit the last sky bison?

A: If you were only referring to just your APPA unit then no. If you were referring to all sky bison units in general then yes he is. The Fire Nation wiped them all out while they were committing genocide on the Air Nomads so they couldn't travel as far to get away from them.

Q: Hey, my bison whistle I bought from you doesn't work! I demand a refund! Why couldn't you have given me one that works?

A: Bison whistles are out of the range of human hearing so it would seem that they don't work to people who don't know any better. If you really think it's broken test it out by repeatedly blowing into it around your APPA unit and see if it drives him nuts. If indeed it doesn't work send it back and we'll ship one that works to you.

Q: My APPA unit that I got has shaggier hair than what is normal for APPA units and his arrow and horns are missing. Also he is talking and its really freaking me out. And for the record I am not a sleep deprived AANG unit writing this.

A: Whoops! It appears that we accidentally sent you a FALKOR unit from our Never Ending Story line by mistake. But if you wish to keep him that is fine with us. If not send him back and we'll ship the right one to you.

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Troubleshooting:

Problem: Your AANG unit is always in constant aangry, aangst, or sad mode because your APPA unit has gone missing or was stolen by sandbenders.

Solution: Go to Ba Sing Sei and look for the nearest LONG FENG unit he will have your missing APPA unit. Getting your APPA unit from him will not be easy.

Problem: Your APPA unit has a purple tongue and looks sick.

Solution: Your APPA unit is most likely faking it for a KATARA unit. Or a KATARA unit has overfed him purple berries. If that is the case stay up and pretend to be asleep or wake up extra early to catch her in the act.

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With proper care and maintenance, your APPA unit should be able to take you to places all over the world.