This Fire (Rising Through My Being)

Summary: The sequel to Burning (I'm Not Used to Seeing You). After going to lunch with Renji, Ichigo's feelings become stronger and so much that he can't take it. Will he finally tell Renji?

Ichigo sat across the table from Renji, tapping his fingers along the bright yellow cup that read, "Blanchers" across the whole side, sort of in a diagonal slant. He eyed the cup with his deep brown eyes, the colors making his head hurt and eyes narrow.

Renji ate slowly his rice from a small cup, and occassionally moved his eyes from it to Ichigo. He couldn't quit staring, and if he didn't cut it out, he would be caught. Renji just sighed heavily, swallowing a large bite from the fork that he held almost to breaking point. Being around Ichigo so close made him shift nervously.

Ichigo looked up at Renji then, and cocked his head to the side, "What?"

"Hummm?" Renji jumped, hearing the male's voice. "Um... what do you mean what?"

Ichigo shook his head and looked down at his cup again, "Thought you said something... Sorry."

"Oh."

-.-.-.-

Ichigo had went home, after lunch with Renji. He faked out a stomach ache, and had checked himself out before third class started. That meant he left Renji alone at school, and Ichigo felt guilty after leaving him with no real explanation.

The orange-haired male fell upon his small, twin-sized bed, arms and legs sprawled over it, and feet dangling along the edges. He buried his face into the over-sized pillow, wanting to close his eyes and fall asleep. But he knew that wouldn't happen.

All the while, his heart felt like it would explode, beating so fast that it left him nearly breathless. Ichigo clenched his teeth together... now a real stomach ache was coming.

Everything that he had planned on telling Renji while they were at lunch had been forgotten. All that thought, and he didn't even get one word out. He wanted to tell Renji how he really felt, and wanted him to understand that he didn't know why he always had these thoughts.

Ichigo wanted to let him know that he wanted Renji in every way possible... but he had probably just missed the opportunity.

"Ichigo?" came the voice that slipped the male out of his thoughts. "Ichigo... are you okay?"

---Renji---

Third class was one of the slowest classes that Renji had, and without Ichigo, it only went that much slower. Not to mention, he was starting to feel the lack of sleep creep up on him, and he wanted to pass out.

He looked around the room with his tired eyes, mouth covered with his fists as he looked at the teacher, who was talking to a student. Renji wondered what they were talking about, but then averted his eyes over to where he saw Toushiro Hitsugaya and Ikkaku Madarame speaking and passing notes. He also wondered what they were talking about.

Ever since he came back from lunch with Ichigo, it was like Renji felt every one was hearing all of his thoughts. Like he was being watched and it made him want to scream out for all of them to leave him alone.

He wanted to know why Ichigo had went home... cause he knew that the stomach ache he told the nurse about was no where near real.

Renji just scowled behind of his fists, eyes sliding closed slowly. Maybe he could get a little sleep before he went home, if he could, that is.

"Yo, Ren." a loud voice called, making Renji's eyes open, and his head to turn to the other side of the room. where Ikkaku looked at him and waved, "You look a little down."

"...so what?" Renji mumbled, only low enough for himself to hear, and he saw that Hitsugaya and Ikkaku were making their way over to him.

Dammit, he thought.

"What was that?"

"I said so what."

"Where's Ichig-"

"Dunno."

"But you were wi-"

"I. Don't. Know... okay?" Renji glared at Ikkaku with his eyes now darker than normal. He turned himself away from the two, shaking his head. He knew where Ichigo was, but it wasn't with him and Renji twitched at the thought that maybe Ichigo was avoiding him. Maybe Ichigo knew what Renji felt for him and was disgusted by it.

No, that would hurt Renji... but why would that matter? All of those thoughts were forbidden, right?

"Well... I heard that you two went to Blanchers and he left because he had a stomach ache." Hitsugaya pointed out, hitting the nail on the head and making Renji flinch inwardly. He wanted to go home too, but knew he couldn't... not after being so late for school.

"Why does it matter?" Renji bit, closing his eyes, "Does it matter that he went home with a damn stomach ache? What are you thinking..." he looked at them, "that it's my fault?"

Hitsugaya glared at him a little bit, and shook his head, "What is the matter with you? Getting all pissed over nothing."

"Just get the hell out of my face." Renji growled. He turned his head back down to his desk and closed his eyes tight, hands showing his knuckles white.

Ikkaku and Hitsugaya exchanged looks to one another, mumbling something that Renji could barely hear. But it didn't matter, he had probably just ruined the secret now anyways.

---Ichigo---

"Rukia? What are you doing here?" Ichigo questioned, sitting up on his bed and eyeing the dark-haired girl.

She sat on the side of his bed, pulling the hem of her dress down a little over her knees and then smiling at him gently. The look on her face was innocent, but she also looked a little concerned for her friend.

Ichigo knit his brows togther, still awaiting the answer to his question. He slid himself next to her, "Hey... what's the matter, Rukia?"

"Something is going on with you, i can tell." She voiced low, looking away from Ichigo and twirling her index finger around a small part of the lace that covered her dress. She blushed a little as well, and it puzzled Ichigo.

"What do you-"

"Tell me what it is, please?" Her eyes glistened when she looked back up at him and her lips trembled slightly, as if she were about to cry. Ichigo blinked at seeing this, and wrapped his arm around her. She winced, "Y-you can tell me anything."

"I just had a stomach ache... Rukia... are you okay?" His hand shook her shoulder.

Rukia shook her head, "Do you like me, Ichigo? Or is there someone else?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I like you, Ichigo, but i can tell that you don't like me too. Remember when i told you that i thought that we could go out?"

Ichigo blinked several times this time and dropped his arm from Rukia's small body. He brought a hand to his forehead and rubbed it... Now he was getting a headache.

"Ichigo..."

"Yes, Rukia?" Ichigo smiled, holding an icecream cone to his lips and lapping his tongue at it slowly. The little girl beside of him was blushing a light pink shade, and she carried a smile of her own. Her face was brightened by the afternoon sunlight, and she looked so beautiful at that moment.

"What do you think about me and you going out?"

Ichigo stopped eating and blushed himself, "I don't... know... What about you?"

"I think we could go out..." she looked down, giggling a little bit.

"What does that have to do with-"

Rukia stood from the bed and shook her head frantically. Her small hands wiped away small tears from her eyes and she stumbled over her cries, "I can tell that you like someone else."

Ichigo felt her last sentence burn through his whole being and he swallowed hard. He hurt for her tears, and wanted to take her into his arms, but every time, he would think about him... Renji.

"Rukia."

"Please... just tell me who it is... I won't tell anyone... I promise, Ichigo. I just want to know so maybe i won't be so-" she was crying now, "I just wanted it to be me."

"Rukia, I don't know what-" he stood too, and wrapped his arms all the way around Rukia, pulling her close to his chest and then lifting her head up to look at him.

Her eyes were swollen and red, and the tears kept falling constantly. How could he try to console her when she wouldn't stop crying?

"Ruk...ia..." he groaned, then leaning in and pressing their lips together and kissing her.

---Renji---

It was a sudden feeling, but for some reason, something had told Renji to get out of school immediately and go see Ichigo.

His chest was burning more than usual, and he could barely breathe as he ran to his car. His face was sweating, and Renji had discarded his jacket somewhere in the hall.

Why was he all of the sudden feeling this way? He would find out as soon as he saw the familiar orange-hair and those deep brown eyes that were filled with everything that Renji ever dreamed about.

He wanted to know so bad, that he didn't even care how fast he was going down the interstate.

-.-.-.-

Rukia pushed Ichigo away instantly, wiping her mouth and then falling onto the bed with her hands holding her face. She shook her head again, this time mumbling out "No." about every ten seconds. Nothing felt right at all about that kiss, and she had become overwhelmed by the feeling that Ichigo had put forth from it. It was nothing like she had wanted at all, the fact that she knew Ichigo felt something for someone else. It felt so wrong.

Ichigo felt his heart beating like it usually did whenever he thought of Renji, and he placed a hand over his chest out of confusion. He had no intentions of doing what he had just done, and it felt like he had betrayed Renji.

But how could he have betrayed him if he didn't even know that Ichigo felt so strong about him? What was it that made Ichigo want to kick himself, all for kissing Rukia? He kept telling himself that it was just to make her stop crying, but from the looks of it, all it did was make her crying worse.

"Rukia, listen... I'm sorry. I had no right."

"Ichigo... will you just tell me who it is that you like? Then maybe i can live with it and leave you alone. I know that's what you want, Ichigo, I don't really know why but..."

"I don't know what to tell you... I can't really... I just... Rukia..." Ichigo was at a loss for words, and he stood there, now, with his head bowed and his eyes mixed with confusion and anger.

"If i told you who i... you would just..."

Rukia shook her head, walking back closer to Ichigo, and placed a hand on his chest. She moved that hand, slowly but surely, across the man's chest and then over his shoulders. It traveled so slow that Ichigo stopped it in the middle of his collar and held it there. Rukia's eyes were dry now, and she smiled at him, "Ichigo. I love you."

Ichigo swallowed, merely nodding at Rukia and then letting go of her hand. He forced out a small smile back, just for the sake of her and then stroked her cheek, "I know you do."

"And i understand that you can't tell me who you like. I know that maybe it's not my business and you don't have to tell me... I just..."

---Renji---

He was finally at Ichigo's house, when he stopped in the driveway and stared at the large house. Ichigo's car sat in the driveway, and he looked at it too... wondering if he could get out of his own car and go to the door. He looked around the driveway, and saw a different object that he knew didn't belong to the male. It looked like a small bike, and Renji knit his brows together, "Rukia Kuchiki?"