Ubridge Gets Her's
"OK, before we begin." Spoke the zombie version of Ubridge, "I must first take away all the points Gryffindor has accumulated thus far."
"WHAT THE SHIT?!" Harry spat, "WHY?!?"
"Voldemort's orders, Harry Potter is in the Gryffindor house, therefore the Gryffindor house must lose all points...that is all."
Harry yelled to the heavens, "GODDAMN IT VOLDEMORT!! I FUCKING HATE YOU!"
"Yea well I fucking hate you more." Voldemort's disembodied voice said.
Just then the door burst open, and from the hall entered an elderly man with a surprisingly long white beard. "Alright, nobody move, where is that asshole?"
"Dumbledore. What are you doing here?" Harry asked.
"The fuck does it look like ass-face, I'm here to kick Voldemort's ass now where is he?!"
Hermione piped up, "He's gone professor."
"WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S GONE!? WHAT THE HELL?"
"Sorry sir, but he just said he would kill me another time and left."
Dumbledore pointed at harry, "Why the fuck didn't you stall him?!? One hundred points from Gryffindor!"
"But sir, we don't have any points left, Zombie Umbridge just took them all."
"Oh, well alright then...one hundred points to Gryffindor."
"YES!" Ron called out.
Dumbledore finished his intentional pause, "One hundred points from Gryffindor."
Ron slumped back down in his seat, "Well fuck."
Dumbledore resumed yet again, "Do you realize I already had half the killing curse recited? Now who am I going to kill? I can't just NOT kill someone. You! Get over here."
Malfoy who was having a very hard time breathing over the laughter that was consuming him over the fate of the Gryffindor house looked up weakly, "M-me sir?"
"Yes you. Get your ass over here."
Malfoy did as he was told, "Professor, what did you wa-"
"KADAVERA!!" Dumbledore boomed and there was a flash of green light, after that, Malfoy was dead on the ground.
Pansy shrieked, "P-PROFESSOR WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"
Dumbledore shrugged his shoulders, "What? He was a prick anyway."
After an uncomfortable silence, Crabb and Goyal had finally processed what happened. "We...we're...WE'RE FREE!!!!"
The two jumped up and down with glee, "Finally, we can actually pay attention in class and stop being assholes to people, we are truly sorry by the way."
Dumbledore nodded, "There you see? If I didn't kill this little shit, those two would have had horrible futures. I just saved two lives today...yes, I think I've done well for myself." Satisfied that all was well he nodded to the undead Umbridge and left the classroom, Umbridge began to instruct the class properly for once and Malfoy was just left to rot.
A/N: Malfoy fanboys/girls will hate me but oh well, I never liked Malfoy ether.
