NO RIGHT TO DIGIMON
XXX
The water inside the kettle was boiling as it whistled noisily through the air. I turned off the stove before the noise could attract the guys into the kitchen.
They were waiting in my living room for me. It felt uncomfortably weird to be in the same room for even a couple of minutes so I suggested that I make hot chocolate to give myself some time alone.
My hands oddly trembled as I poured the hot water into a teapot already filled with hot cocoa powder. I stirred it thoroughly before I placed it on a tray with numerous mugs.
I took a deep breath and relaxed myself so my nervous quivering would stop. It had been months since I've been around people and it felt like it had been ages since I've been around the guys.
When I entered the living room, they stopped talking about whatever they were discussing about and focus all their attention on me.
Suddenly, I felt even more uncomfortable than before and a little bare. Awkwardly, I set the tray down onto the coffee table in front of them while kneeling onto the floor.
I sensed Takuya's eyes looking at me the most and in the deepest manner as if he was searching for something from within me.
"Nice place you got here Zoe, where are your parents?" The curious youngest member asked while I distributed the cups to each one.
"Thanks Tommy, it's a little small.. My parents moved back to Italy so I live alone." I poured the hot chocolate into everyone's cup and then into my own cup.
They all sipped on their cups tastily but I just held onto mine to warm my hands. The heater in my apartment was broken so it was chilly.
I kept my eyes on my reflection in the hot chocolate, waiting for someone to talk.
My eyes intriguingly lifted shyly from the cup to see Takuya still gazing seriously at me. My face became warm at the second our eyes locked. I pulled away immediately and looked at the table in front of us.
"I think we should start explaining to Zoe about what we found out." J.P. said after drinking the whole mug of hot cocoa down.
Koichi nodded reasonably and put down his cup on the coffee table, "I believe Takuya would be the one that could explain things best."
It was like Takuya didn't hear Koichi. Koji, who was sitting next to Takuya on the sofa nudged him in the side, "Hey, you here or what?"
My face got hotter because I knew he was focused on me.
"Oh right-" Takuya snapped out of it and he put his mug down on the coffee table too. He took out a cell phone from his pants pocket and showed it to me, "Remember this?"
It was a cell phone obviously but I knew I had seen it somewhere before. It was an old version type from years back. I don't even think anyone make this version anymore.
Takuya gave it to me to look at. I glanced at it for in both hands and finally recognized it, "It's your old cell phone."
He nodded, "This was the cell phone that was turned into my d-tector when we went to the digital world four years ago."
I nodded to show that I remembered.
"I never used it after we came back but I kept it around for sentimental reasons. Most of the time it stays tucked away somewhere; turned off. Except for last night…"
He paused difficultly before continuing, "A strange voice came from it in the middle of the night yesterday. It was hard to hear but I think it was Bokomon. I tried my best to talk to him and listen to what he had to say but before I couldn't get anywhere, he was gone."
"Bokomon..?" I asked unbelievingly.
Takuya nodded and leaned forward with his enclosed hands covering his mouth; deeply thinking back to the voice. "I think he was trying to get us to help him but there was so much static. I couldn't hear him well."
"When Takuya called us about it we dug out our old cell phones too." J.P. informed.
They all took out their original cell phones to show me. Tommy looked at his disappointingly, "Ours didn't activate or anything like Takuya's did though."
"But we know something's wrong. We can feel it." Koji added.
His twin brother questioned me. "What about you, Zoe? Did your old phone react or anything? Do you feel like something's wrong?"
To be honest, I haven't felt anything in months and I don't even use my new phone nonetheless my old one so I just shook my head. "But, I haven't checked my old phone in a long time. I think I still have it, I'm not sure. I haven't seen it in awhile."
"I think you should take a look at it Zoe." Tommy suggested.
That's not a bad idea.
I nodded, "Give me a second to look for it, I'll be right back. Help yourselves with the hot chocolate." I gave back the cell phone in my hands to Takuya first before standing up.
"Do you need any help?" He asked thoughtfully.
I tried to smile, "No thanks. I can handle it."
I went back into my bedroom to look for my old cell phone. I looked thoroughly through my drawers but it wasn't there. It couldn't be in my closet because only clothes hung in there.
There wouldn't be any place else that I would have kept it unless I threw it away or lost it a long time ago.
I walked down the hall hoping it wouldn't matter much if I had that cell phone or not. The moment I got near the entrance of it, I heard them talking. I stopped and listened in first.
"Hey, you think she doesn't like us anymore J.P.?" Tommy asked.
J.P. hummed shortly, "Hmm.. I wouldn't say that. Maybe Zoe's tired or maybe it wasn't the right time for us to come over."
They were talking about me.. I leaned back against the wall so they were sure not to see me and I could listen in more.
"I guess you're right J.P., she did look tired." Koichi said.
Koji sighed, "Well yeah, exams are coming up. We're all tired from studying."
"I don't know…" Takuya started deeply, "She just didn't seem like the Zoe that I knew. She's changed a lot."
That hit me sorely. I knew with all my heart that I was different from the Zoe that they knew but I didn't want to be. I wanted to be fun and happy again. I wanted to tell them that I missed them and that I was sorry but how could I…?
"We haven't seen her in awhile Takuya, people change." Koji reminded.
Takuya didn't seem to believe that, "Really now… Is that it? I feel like she's keeping something from us that she doesn't want us to find out.. The fire in her is completely gone."
"You have a point there." J.P. agreed and they probably all did too.
"Do you think she'd be all right to go back to the Digital World if needed? Maybe she should stay here if she's not up for it." Tommy suggested.
I held my hands together at my heart and thought about what they said.
They were right.
They couldn't on me if I was unreliable especially when I'm like this.
I have to try to be normal.
I left my spot and returned to my bedroom to look for that old cell phone again.
That would be the first step.
The only place I didn't look in was my closet. I didn't think it would be in there but it didn't hurt to check.
I looked inside first. It was mainly clothes. I was about to leave it until I spotted a medium sized box on a high shelf.
The box was white with baby sheep designs on it. Pink hearts floated around the box with an ongoing strip of music notes.
I reached my hands for it but I was too short. I attempted again to go on my tippy toes but I still couldn't reach it.
Determined, I stretched as far as I could because I didn't want to go outside to drag in a chair. My hands couldn't even get anywhere near it until I felt myself being lifted off the ground.
There was a pair of hands on my waist holding me up. I looked down and saw Takuya looking up at me.
My face felt hotter than before and I was sure that it was red like a tomato too. I started to tremble because of Takuya's touch.
No one had touched me in any sort of way in months, it threw me off balance and unwanted horrible memories started flowing back. It started to bring me back to that night which made me even shake more.
The feel of that stranger's rough hands around my throat and his brute strength restraining me started practically coming to life.
But… It's Takuya..
Be normal Zoe… Please be normal.
Don't scare him away.
He's a friend not the monster…
I reminded myself as our eyes appeared to be locked again. His eyes were the only thing pulling me back into reality; I didn't want to lose that just yet.
"Did you want to get that box Zoe?" Takuya asked while still staring at my dazed demeanor.
I snapped out of it and got the box into my hands, "Uhm, I got it Takuya. You can put me down now.."
He carefully set my feet to the floor. We were standing pretty close together. He was so tall now that my face only reached his chest; it made me feel even smaller.
Takuya must have realized from the way I evaded my eyes and how hard I hugged onto the box that I felt uncomfortable about our close proximity. He stepped back to give me space, "What in the box Zoey?"
I put the box onto the floor and knelt down to open it. Takuya lowered himself to look too. It was filled with strange things that I don't remember keeping.
There were things like baby clothes, a rattle, a coloring book, and other things like that. I blushed from embarrassment after realizing was it was, "Oh, it must be my baby box that my mom kept for me. I had forgotten about it."
Takuya picked up a baby photo, "You were a cute baby." He set that back down and looked through more of the box and found something rectangular shaped wrapped in a swatch of my baby blanket, "Zoe what's this?"
Whatever was inside, it started to glow. Takuya took off the blanket to see. "That's my old cell phone." It was my old cell phone all right but it was glowing with a bright shining light that it made it hard to see.
"Uh, what's going on Takuya?"
It started floating away from Takuya's hand and into the air right in front of us. Only static could be heard from the cell phone but a voice was trying to get through it.
"K-Kids a-are you there?" I managed to make that part out but it was difficult.
I know who that is, it's Bokomon!
Our old digimon friend and mentor.
"Bokomon, we're here. It's me Zoe!" I spoke loudly to it.
Takuya attempted to too, "Bokomon, we're here. What's happening in the Digital World?"
"H-HELP-US! K-KIDS."
"Help you with what? What's going on?" Takuya shouted into the phone. The static was getting louder and louder.
"H-HELP-" The static completely took over Bokomon's voice as it started to shake.
Koji and the others appeared at the door abruptly because of our commotion, "Takuya what's going on!"
A beeping noise was heard from the gadget. Sparks began to burst from the phone as it went on vibrating dangerously. Smoke started leak into the air from it.
Takuya knew what was going to happen, "It's going to go off. Get down!" He pushed me back onto the floor and used his body to shield mine.
A gigantic boom shook the whole room immediately right afterwards and stayed ringing in our ears. Objects from my baby box flew at and over Takuya and me from the detonation. The smoke filled my bedroom even more toxically.
"Whoa! Now that's what I call fireworks.." Tommy coughed after from the smoke.
Takuya looked back to the box and I lifted my face from his shoulder to see too. All sides of the box laid flat on the floor. It was originally white but it was tainted black soot from the detonation.
My old cell phone was still there but the case of it was charred black. I was surprise that it wasn't completely gone.
Takuya sighed shortly; relieved, "That was close…" He glance back down to me, "You alright?"
Now that everything was in a safe state, I saw and felt how close Takuya and I were. I flushed red instantly and my heart was about to burst out of my chest.
Right when I was about to answer, the emergency sprinkler sprung on and started spraying the entire bedroom.
Luckily, Koji and the others were at the foot of the door so they didn't get drenched like Takuya and I did.
It was ridiculous because there wasn't even a fire, just clouds of smoke.
Unfortunately the smoke was worse enough because it got into my airway; choking me. I started coughing and coughing on the smoke while the water sprayed over us.
Takuya was more drenched than I was since his body was covering mine. He hastily got up from the floor and pulled me up along the way. He tried to shield me with his leather jacket as he hurried out of the room.
Strangely, the living room and any other rooms weren't spraying rain like my bedroom was. What was even more bizarre was that the fire alarm didn't go off either.
In a way, I called it a lucky break. I would hate for the other tenants to have to evacuate the building in a panic state and I would hate it more if I had to clean up more than one room.
"Takuya, what the hell happened?" J.P. asked after looking at my bedroom again. The sprinklers stopped but my bedroom was semi under water. Everything was soaked beyond belief.
"Bokomon… He tried to contact us through Zoe's cell phone but before we could get anything clear, it exploded as you witnessed yourself." Takuya explained as he took off his leather jacket and sat himself on the arm of the sofa. He was soaked to the bone.
Droplets of water were rolling off his hair and down his face. He was definitely going to catch a cold if he didn't get dry quickly.
I excused myself from the conversation to get towels for Takuya and me. I was pretty drenched myself. I came back with two towels hanging over my bent arm.
Timidly, I draped one of the towels over Takuya's shoulders.
"Thanks Zoe." He said and noticed the other towel on my bent arm. He took it and stood so he could wrap it around me.
I held it close and retreated a step back as I started to feel uneasy again.
He saw my anxiety but he didn't question it or push on the matter. Instead he looked back to the others seriously, "We have to find a way back into the Digital World. Something is definitely wrong there. It was static and hard to hear but we did hear, Help us."
"He tried to get through to Takuya's cell phone." I stopped for a second to think logically. "I think he tried to contact all of us but he could only get through to my cell phone…"
Tommy intriguingly questioned further, "Why do you think that Zoe?"
I looked to him seriously, "Because if there really is something bad going on in the Digital World, he wouldn't just stop with one digidestine. He knew that it would be difficult to contact us so if I were him I would try to contact as many as possible. The probability would be higher."
Koichi nodded in absolute agreement, "Zoe is right. Something urgent has to be going on in the other world. Why else would they try to contact us after all these years."
"And what if it's some sort of trap?" His twin brother, Koji crossed his arm skeptically "If something bad is going on in that place, what makes you think that it's not a trap to lure us back there. Anyone in that world could have the possibility of having a power to imitate someone's voice. For all we know, that voice you heard might not even be Bokomon."
"We don't know that for sure but maybe we should go with our instincts." J.P. suggested and glance towards Takuya and I. "What do you guys think? You two were the only ones that heard the message. Do you think it's Bokomon?"
Takuya sighed, "I'll be honest with you guys. I'm not sure it was Bokomon. It sounded like him but it was really hard to hear and Koji could possibly be right. I just have a strange feeling in my gut telling me that the voice was the real deal."
"I agree…" I diffidently spoke my opinion again. Both my enclosed hands touched my heart disturbingly as I winced, "I feel it too. Something's not right."
"That does it then." Takuya stated adamantly as he stood up again from his place. "We're going back."
J.P. found an argument, "But how are we going to get there. The last time it was through the Trailmon and may I remind you that when we left the Digital World our human spirit and Beast Spirit completely separated from us."
"I don't know J.P. but we have to try to find some way." Koji reasoned with him.
Takuya nodded, "Koji's right. Tonight, pack your things when you get home guys. Pack things that you need like you're going to be away for a long time. We're going to meet at the subway tomorrow. That is where we'll start."
What…?
It hit me there and then that we were going to find some way back into the world that I had been craving to dive into but…
When they were talking about me early… They were right…
I wasn't back to myself or even remotely close to it. When Takuya was near me, I nearly wanted to crawl out of my own skin because of the anxiety.
The thought of having to step out of the apartment and have to walk through large crowds of people to get to the subway was already mind destroying.
If they need my help with any danger in that world…
Would I freeze?
Would I run away?
Would I just stand there and let it happen…?
Like I did that night…?
My mind was booming with fearful loud thoughts and it was taking on its own life form within my senses throughout my body.
"Zoe…?" I heard Takuya's voice bringing me back but his voice sounded like it was under water.
Finally, I slowly lifted my eyes to him, "Takuya…?"
His eyebrows furrowed confusingly until he understood by just looking at my defeated demeanor. "No…" He refused to believe it. "No Zoe, we can't do this without you. You have to go; you're a part of the team."
The others didn't quite catch on yet.
Tommy had to question, "What? What? Takuya, what are you talking about?"
Koichi caught on not a moment too soon and so did his twin brother. I saw from the corner of my eye that they shot fleeting glances towards me.
"Zoe, you don't want to go back to the Digital World? Not even to help our friends?" Koichi practically interrogated but it wasn't harsh sounding.
J.P.'s eyes went wide, "Zoe, what is this? You don't want to go back? Is it because you're scared?"
They all said something but Takuya's eyes and mine kept heavily locked on each other. He read into my eyes and I knew for a fact that he saw my desperation of feeling safe.
I was able to read into his eyes and see the genuine truth; he really believed that they needed me in their team.
It touched my heart because I couldn't even trust myself; believe in myself to get better. My eyes started to feel teary and everything really began to look like it was under water.
But he was wrong..
They don't need me.
They'll do just fine without me.
"Zoe, I don't know what's going on with you but snap out of it. Whatever it is, it can't be as bad as saving another world." Takuya said with determined eyes.
That hurt…deeply but I just lowered my eyes and let my bangs cover them. He believed in me but I was deliberately letting my fear and weakness take over.
"You have to go Zoe." He repeated once more but that just hit me twice as bad.
I shook my head slowly.
"What is wrong with you? This is the Digital World we're talk about. Our friends are there. Have you forgotten about Kazemon and Zephrmon? They were a part of you." Takuya pressured further. "If that world ends then so do them.
Koji held Takuya back by his shoulder, "Takuya, take it easy."
Koichi sighed disappointingly, "She's not going to budge. That's obvious. What would be best is to go home and start packing. Let's give Zoe her time to rest. It's late."
I could feel Takuya's eyes burrowing in me, sending the strongest feeling but I didn't budge. I merely waited for him to leave. He left me with that silent glare.
The twins, Tommy, and J.P. left but they departed rather sadly not angrily. It hurt me to see them leave like that.
My legs felt weak. I couldn't hold myself up anymore but I had to until I heard Tommy's goodbye and then the door closing.
Right there and then, I dropped to the floor and let the emotional hurricane unleashed. The pain in my heart didn't go away but my heart started to feel numb like it had been injected with anesthesia.
I dared not to cry out loud. I didn't want anyone to hear.
I didn't want myself to hear.
My silent crying made it hard for me to breath and soon, not only my heart was numb but my body was as well from the lack of oxygen.
No one knows what it's like to live but to also to feel dead.
