When Tamaki got home from the commoner's ice cream parlor, he suddenly realized what he'd just agreed to. "It's going to take every ounce of my amazing talent to pull this off," he muttered to himself. At a snap of his fingers, half a dozen servants immediately appeared.

"Yes, Master Tamaki?" a young maid asked.

"I'm going to need all the female servants to help me with something," he told her, briefly explaining what he needed them for.

"Of course, Master Tamaki," she said, nodding. As used to Tamaki's antics as they all were, no one thought twice about it when he gathered all of the women who worked in Suoh Mansion #2 together and said he needed them to teach him how to be a girl.

"I only have two weeks to get ready, so all of you, please do your best to help me master the art of being a lady," Tamaki said seriously.

His first lesson was how he held himself. In his free time, he practiced walking like a proper lady, and could often be seen wandering the halls of the mansion with a pile of books on his head – or, more often than not, a pile of books on his feet and a string of un-lady-like profanities threatening to spill out of his mouth. But after much practice and research (the maids tried to ignore Tamaki and not feel creeped out when he would follow them around as they went about their business, observing the way they walked and stood), he got it down.

A week into his preparations, the custom-made corset Tamaki had ordered arrived. It was specifically tailored to give him a womanly silhouette, with built-in "enhancements." What he had forgotten, however, was that his father was coming to Suoh Mansion #2 for a visit that day. Tamaki was in his room trying on the corset when his father walked in.

"Tamaki, are you –" he stopped short when he saw his son standing there suffocating as two maids pulled the laces tight to give him a perfect 36-24-36. Everyone froze, Tamaki and the maids turning a dark shade of red. Tamaki stared at his father like a deer caught in the headlights, and Yuzuru stared back, his face indecipherable. After a few awkward moments, Yuzuru found his voice again. "Well, as I was saying, whenever you're ready we can head out to dinner, and if there's anything you'd like to tell me…"

"Wait, I can explain!" Tamaki cried as his father turned and left. He ran after Yuzuru, corset untied and dangling off his body haphazardly, and nearly crashed into his father right outside the door. Yuzuru was doubled over with laughter, leaning against the wall.

"It's not what it looks like," Tamaki began.

"I see, so you're not wearing a corset that seems to be turning you into a woman?"

"…Okay, so it's exactly what it looks like," Tamaki admitted. "But it's – I – Hikaru and Kaoru bet me Kyoya's pictures of Haruhi that I couldn't fool the school into believing I was a girl," he said, flustered. "And so…I guess I'm going all out…"

"As long as you're not coming out," Yuzuru said, chuckling at his own cleverness. Then something crossed his mind. "Are you…?"

"What? No!"

Yuzuru held up his hands defensively. "Just asking," he said, raising an eyebrow at Tamaki's fake chest. "You know I'd still love you…"

"Dad!"

"Okay, okay! Now, go get dressed for dinner."

When Tamaki had calmed down and gotten the chance to fully explain the situation, Yuzuru was roaring with laughter again, drawing curious stares from everyone in the restaurant. "A bet, huh? For Haruhi Fujioka's baby pictures? Son, you sure know how to get yourself into some ridiculous situations."

Tamaki looked at his father bemusedly. "Is it really that funny?"

"Funny? It's hilarious! I can't wait to see how this plays out…you can be a transfer student or something of the like, I can even draw up some papers to make it official."

"I hadn't thought of that," Tamaki said. In fact, he hadn't thought very far past the physical qualities of being a girl. He would need an identity, some kind of backstory. He needed a character…and he knew just who could help him with that, if she was willing.

The next afternoon, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the atmosphere at Lobelia Academy as school was letting out was bright and cheerful – well, except for the emo cloud of doom hovering outside the front door. Tamaki had been waiting at the entrance to Lobelia for a certain someone to come out, and couldn't help but try to charm the lovely ladies as they left. Naturally, they had rejected him quite harshly, turning him into a pathetic lump of sadness.

"Suoh, is that you? What on earth are you doing here? And stop growing mushrooms on the school's doorstep!"

Tamaki looked up from his makeshift emo corner and wiped his eyes. "Benibara-san! Just the woman I was hoping to see!" he said, gathering his mushrooms and standing up.

Benibara raised an eyebrow. "What do you want?"

"Well, you see, I'm going to pretend to be a girl for a week, and I need the help of the Zuka Club to get into character. You are, after all, accomplished actresses, and –"

"Flattery isn't going to help your case," Benibara said bluntly just as Tamaki was pulling a rose from his sleeve. "Why should I help you?"

"Well…if I can pull this off, I'll win some baby pictures of Haruhi…I suppose I could share them with you…" Tamaki said reluctantly. If anyone could help him develop a believable character, it was the Zuka Club, so he'd do what he had to to get them on board.

"Haruhi's…baby pictures?" Benibara repeated, a fire suddenly springing up in her eyes. Really, there are too many weirdoes out there who would do anything for pictures of Haruhi…but that's beside the point. "Fine, we'll help with your petty game."

Tamaki fistpumped. "Thank you!" he cried gleefully, trying to hug Benibara, who slapped him.

"This doesn't make us friends. I still hate your guts."

"Noted," Tamaki said, wincing.

"So if you're starting from scratch and only need to stay in character for a week, it would be easiest just to draw from your own history and personality," Benibara said thoughtfully. She, Hinagiku, Suzuran, and Tamaki were in one of Lobelia's many rooms used for rehearsals, brainstorming.

"Well, I was raised by my mother in France," Tamaki said, his normally cheerful expression clouding.

"Good, that's something to go off of. Your assignment is to write a 3-page essay – her background, her personality, her habits, why she's going to Ouran – who is this girl? First-person perspective, you'll read it to us tomorrow in character," Benibara instructed.

"Three pages? By tomorrow? I'm only going to be her for a week, do I really need–?" He broke off when Benibara whipped out a harisen and slapped it in her palm threateningly. "Ok. No problem," he gulped.

"Who is she?" Tamaki asked himself later that night as he sat staring blankly at his equally blank notebook. Shaking his head, he said in a high-pitched tone, "No, who am I?" With a sigh, he decided he still needed to work on his voice. Benibara had said to draw on his own past, but he had no idea where to begin with this girl he was going to be. "Je ne peux pas le faire*…hey, that's it!"

Struck by sudden inspiration, Tamaki started writing, words spilling out almost faster than his pen could move.

Bonjour, mon nom est Anne-Sophie Suoh...**

* I can't do this

** Hello, my name is Anne-Sophie Suoh…