First of all I must apologise I didn't realise till it was pointed out that I spelled Chakotays name wrong.

Chapter 2

Stardate: 55839.1

Captains Personal Log

Seven of Nine and the Borg cube are gone. I have a very bad feeling about her leaving though can not explain why, I can't help but feel that something is very wrong. It seems to me that the information Axum and his group have given us is at best a wild guess. Probably a good one yes but... I just know something is very wrong. Seven is too intelligent to believe the story they gave us, so I'm left wondering if there is another reason for her leaving.


3 days had passed since Seven of Nine had left Voyager with the Borg Cube. The crew was now watching the worrying trend of not only Commander Chakotay being distant but the Captain was going down the same way. Though she seems to have thrown herself into her work even more then before which was the complete opposite of the Commander who by now was barely even seen on the bridge. It was like she was trying to do the work of 10 people... B'Elanna had enough of that behaviour and tried to at least get through to half the Command team as she believed that Chakotay could help the Captain better then anyone else. True to her Klingon site she stormed into his quarters.

"Old man! I really had enough of this. Get out of these rooms and take your place on the bridge back!"

"B'Elanna get out!"

"Only if you return to your duties! The Captain needs you Chakotay, now more then ever. And so does this crew for that matter." She watched the Commanders face darken.

"They don't need me and neither does Kathryn. You know as well as I do that if she needed me she would have come to me by now considering that I haven't done much work at all in 3 months." He turned away from her.

"Chakotay... Kahless! The Captain nearly worked herself into the ground to do not only her own duties but yours on top! She wanted to give you time to work through this on your own. But obviously that isn't going to happen any time soon. The rest of us have been helping her since before the shore leave as we were worried she would collapse from the strain on her. She never once complained and I have a feeling Starfleet Command has no idea about what you are doing either or they would have tasked her with removing you from your duties long before now. Is that what you want?" B'Elanna couldn't believe it but Chakotay just wasn't interested. "Chakotay why are you doing this? Not only to us from the crew but to the Captain?"

"That is none of your business!" He picked up his uniform from the chair it was laying on and threw it at her. "Take this and get out! Don't come back here! I am no longer the first officer of this ship and in fact want nothing to do with any of you."

"Chakotay..."

"No! Get out!" He roared at her then retreated to his bedroom which he promptly locked. He could hear that B'Elanna left only a few seconds later and sacked against the wall. "Why can't you understand? I nearly killed Kathryn, I am too dangerous I can't come near her."


B'Elanna did inform the rest of the senior staff though not the Captain as they believed that he said it in anger and didn't really mean it. Together they ran some interference so that the scuttlebutt wouldn't get to Janeway. 3 days later Tom, B'Elanna and Mike Ayala tried to talk to him again hoping he would have calmed down. But just as they were in front of his quarters he already came storming out, in full uniform to boot. He wouldn't even look at the three of them and just marched straight passed them.

"Chakotay?" Came from Mike. Surprised the three of them stared at each other and then after him again. "We better go after him. He doesn't look like he calmed down and we have no idea where he is going. To top that off it smells like a distillery here, he is definitely drunk."

Twin nods answered him and they ran after Chakotay who by now was in the Turbolift.

Meanwhile Janeway was in Astrometrix speaking alone with Admirals Nechayev, Paris and Patterson regarding the Maquis and the remaining Equinox crew for whom she had been fighting for months. The last thing she wanted was for them all to return home and then for part of her crew to end up in prison. She wanted this out of the way with a guarantee that nothing would happen to her crew long before they got home.

"Captain we can understand your position, but you need to understand ours too. The Maquis and the 5 people who were originally members of the Equinox crew have been with you for a while now and it is clear to us that they are doing a wonderful job for you. But they are not doing it for Starfleet and they are certainly not loyal to it." Nechayev was being her typical self.

"Admirals..."

In that moment Chakotay came storming in. Nechayev looked at him through the screen and snapped. "Commander this is a private conversation, get out!"

"No Ma'am bitch I won't!"

"Chakotay!" Janeway was obviously appalled.

He wouldn't stop though and came storming to her taking a PADD which he had in his jacket out so he could download it for Pathfinder. "Here! Take this and stick it where the sun doesn't shine!"

"Chakotay what is going on?" With those words Janeway deliberately stepped into his path.

The enraged Commander wouldn't be stopped though, he grabbed her by the shoulders and slammed her into the wall. By now the Captain could smell the alcohol on his breath and she grimaced from that as well as the pain. "I told her! I told Torres 3 days ago that I am resigning my commission but she obviously didn't listen. She. Did. Not. Listen!" With each of his last words he slammed the Captain back into the wall, then let her go. The last hit to her head was too much and Janeway crumbled to the floor straight away obviously unconscious, which the 3 admirals on the screen could only watch helplessly. That is the scene Torres, Paris and Ayala stepped into.

"Captain!" Came horrified shouts from all three of them.

"Chakotay let her go!" Ayala took only a second to take it in and jumped onto the Commander to stop him, while Tom tabbed his comm badge for security before helping Ayala as well. Torres in the meantime made her way straight to the Captain to check up on her. "Torres to transporter room 1. Lock onto the Captains comm badge and beam her to sickbay. Medical emergency!" The two of them vanished into blue particles.


Commander Tuvok had just spend the last 3 hours with Commander Chakotay in the Brig trying to find out what happened and why but he wasn't communicating so he made his way towards the sickbay to get an update on the Captains condition. "Doctor how is the Captain?"

"Not good I'm afraid. Apart from heavy bruising on her upper arms and back, she also received a open skull fracture. I repaired most of the damage but she will need to stay in a coma till the swelling on her brain is down." The Doctor told him grimly. "The Commander really did a number on her in the few seconds he had. Any idea why he did it yet?"

"No all he will say is that he resigns – over and over at that. When do you think the Captain will awaken?"

"Hard to say. Without Seven and her nanoprobes there is only so much I can do for her. I will be able to tell you more tomorrow. I need to do some tests in the meantime so excuse me please Commander." With that the Doctor turned around and stepped into his office.

Tuvok stepped up to the biobed the Captain lay on and where Lt Torres was already standing. "She looks so small and fragile like this hard to believe that she seems larger then life when awake to most of this crew and quite a few not so friendly aliens." B'Elanna was obviously distraught by what had happened. "I just don't understand Tuvok why would he do this? I thought he loves her."

Tuvok just nodded at this. "I believe that is quite well known to the entire crew. As to why I can not answer that yet. I have informed the crew that the Captain has been injured though I have not told them what has happened. As with the others who saw please do not speak about this matter till I can complete my investigation."

"Very well but I doubt that will stop the scuttlebutt." B'Elanna nodded at him.

Tuvok raised an eyebrow. "Indeed." With that he turned around and left, leaving B'Elanna behind to keep her silent vigil over Janeway.


3 days passed with the rumours, despite the senior staffs best efforts, running rampart. The crew was confused at Chakotays behaviour and also outraged that the Captain got hurt. At all times there was at least one member of the crew with her waiting for her to wake up. But she just lay there not moving with the Doctor slowly running out of options when B'Elanna came in to take the place of Crewman Harron at the Captains site. "Any change yet?"

"Nothing so far. I need to get ready for my duty shift. I will see you soon Lt." With that Harron left.

"Typical Harron! Trying to make out he doesn't care for anything but his studies. We all know very well that he cares very much about the Captain or he wouldn't have spend time here." B'Elanna now turned back to the Captain who still had not moved and started whispering to her after taking her right hand into her own. "Captain I am not sure if you can hear me or not but I want you to know... I have no idea what happened to the old man and can't understand why he would hurt you in the first place. I am sure under normal circumstances he would never hurt you. He loves you! I know it and so does everyone else on this crew." A tear fell down her cheek. "As for us so called Maquis we are all on your site and would never do anything which would endanger you. In fact we would give our lives for you without hesitation. When we first came onto this ship most of us including myself hated Starfleet and everyone who wore its uniform because of that treaty. And Tom as well... what you did for him alone was phenomenal! He hated Starfleet because it felt to him as if it had taken his father away from him. He was a convicted criminal and even he admits if it hadn't been for you he would most likely be dead by now. But you... despite everything you took us in and gave us a home. You gave us a chance and we can never repay you for that. We are all so proud to be part of Starfleet now but most importantly we are proud that you are our Captain. Please get well soon we need you." With that B'Elannas head fell onto the Captains shoulder as she truly started to cry.

"And I am proud to be your Captain." Came the whispered reply as the Captains left hand came up to lay on B'Elannas shoulder who promptly froze.

"Captain?" B'Elanna could now feel her hands being squeezed and moved her head to see the Captains face.

"Yes." Janeway had also opened her eyes which seemed more grey then blue.

B'Elanna shot up and started shouting for the Doctor. "Doctor come here she is awake!"

"Not for long at this rate. My head is killing me and your shouting isn't helping." Groaned Janeway weakly in reply.

"Oh I'm sorry. I'm just so happy that you are awake." B'Elanna was rather sheepish.

"Captain how are you feeling?" The Doctor had now also approached and was already scanning her.

"As if a shuttle has hit my head at warp speed." Came the tired reply. The Doctor gave her a hypospray to the neck and watched as her face relaxed. "B'Elanna are you okay?"

"Shouldn't we be asking you that?" Came the incredulous reply.

A pointedly raised eyebrow was her answer. "I'm not the one who is pregnant."

Now B'Elanna rolled her eyes. "I'm fine is just those damn hormones."

"Do you remember what happened?" The Doctor impatiently asked.

"…"

"Captain?" The Doctor and B'Elanna gave each other knowing looks.

"I was talking to Admirals Nechayev, Paris and Patterson over Pathfinder when Chakotay came storming in." Her eyes widened as she remembered the next part. "He was very angry and called Nechayev 'Ma'am bitch'... For that one alone... I'm not looking forward to my next convo with her.. I tried talking to him to calm him down and find out what was going on but he was too drunk and did not listen. He grabbed me and slammed me against the wall repeatably, shouting something about resigning... I must have blacked out at some point during that as I can't remember anything else."

"You did. That is when Tom, Mike and I came into the room." B'Elanna spoke up. "I transported you here as fast as I could while the guys sorted out Chakotay. He has been put into the Brig and you have been here ever since.

"How long was I out?"

"3 days Captain. You gave us quite a scare."

A look at their faces confirmed this for Kathryn. B'Elanna especially looked horrible and had bags under her eyes. "How is the crew taking this?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Typical. You get injured and your first thought is still about the crew.

"Just answer my question."

"The Senior staff has been running interference and not many know what exactly happened. All the crew knows is that you were hurt and Commander Chakotay is now in the Brig. They are confused and angry on your behalf as well as very worried about you." B'Elanna answered her.

"What injury's did I have? And how long do I have to stay here?"

The Doctor now started scolding her. "A skull fracture which nearly killed you. In fact if Lt Torres here hadn't acted as fast as she did you would be dead right now. You will stay here for another day at least then I want you to take another 3 days off which you will spend in your quarters before returning to duty part time. Your body needs it."

"Cortical monitor and I can return to my quarters tonight. Tomorrow I want to show the crew that I am okay so will need to be able to at least move freely around the ship." A full level 10 glare was directed at the doctor. "I will also be able to come here for check ups every couple hours that way. The day after I will return part time to duty."

"Deal." The Doctor grinned at her smugly before turning around to return to his office and her eyes narrowed.

"He tricked me didn't he?"

A grin was her answer. "I believe so Captain."


The next morning the Captain made her way from her quarters to the mess hall to eat her breakfast with the crew and show them that she was okay. She knew after what happened they needed her on top of her game more then ever. "At times like these I really wish we had a counsellor." She mused to herself. She took a deep breath and straightened up then stepped into the mess hall which was full to the bursting. The crew had heard that she had been released from sickbay and wanted to make sure she was okay for themselves. The only people missing were those on the still ongoing gamma shift. Surprised she stopped walking and had a good look around at her crew who were all quietly watching her.

"Captain over here. We are currently going over the reports but should be done within 10-15 minutes so we can talk after you have eaten." Harry Kim had stood up and waved her over to a table with the entire senior staff sans Neelix who was cooking.

"Give me 2 minutes Harry. I am starving and want to see what breakfast I can get first."

"Here is your coffee Captain and how about some slightly modified English breakfast? I know you are originally Irish though your family lives in Indiana so thought this maybe something for you." Neelix offered her a plate full with sausages, beans, eggs, tomatos and toast.

"I am not sure that I can eat all that but I would be delighted to try Neelix." In truth the Captain was hiding a grimace the words "slightly modified" giving her a bad feeling. She took the plate and her cup then joined her senior staff. By now the crew had also started talking again with some people leaving to get some more sleep before starting their own shifts in the afternoon.

Janeway was surprised to find that her breakfast actually was edible and now had a good look around and saw that a lot of the crew but the senior staff especially seemed stressed. She quietly waved Neelix over and whispered to him. "Any possibility of an event for tonight? Some kind of party?"

Neelix grinned at her. "Of course! It will do the crew good to have some time with you. I organise something together with Mike Ayala and Tom Paris. Shall we say 1900 hours for the start?"

"If you can do it in such a short amount of time sure. Though for right now I have another idea, there are far too many PADDS here. This is supposed to be breakfast not working lunch. Please contact the Transporter room and get them beamed out of here." Janeway winked at him.

"Will do and I contact you later with information on what we can do tonight for the crew."

2 minutes later the over 200 PADDS in the room started disappearing and some outraged shouting was heard. The Captain stood and got the attention of her crew. "This is breakfast not a working lunch. You can come pick up your PADDS from Neelix after you have finished not before. Carry on."

Tom now stood as well. "Does this mean we can do the same to your PADDS when you work too hard again?" Some laughter was heard and there were quite a few grins to be seen.

"Only if you want to spend some extra time on the graveyard shift Tom." Came the answer and as everyone knew that Tom hated that shift with a passion they all broke up laughing.


Meanwhile on board of a certain Borg cube Seven was starting to get suspicious. For the third time since they had left Voyager the long range communications had broken down and the repair for those took a very long time. Much longer then it should do in fact. Also the fact that they dropped out of transwarp 5.000 light years from Borg space and the Queens projected position just made her suspicions stronger. The liberating of more cubes on the way did not seem very effective as there weren't actually that many cubes around but it was the reason she was given. She longed to return to Voyager.


That afternoon Janeway once again made her way to Astrometrix this time to calm down the Admirals who did not take kindly to what her first officer had done. Lt Paris was already there and was just in the last preparations to receive the communication.

"Here they come." Tom warned her just as the Admirals showed up on the screen.

Though there was a big difference this time, they were not alone. "That looks like a Press conference... oh dear. Chakotay really messed this up." Only her command mask hid her surprise.

Tom threw her a pitying look. "Poor Captain." Was about all he could think. He nodded to his father then sank into the background.

Janeway meanwhile threw him a telling look to get the rest of the senior staff as well. She knew she needed all the help she could get to minimise the damage especially as she knew quite well that she was not at her full strength, to be frank she was exhausted and her head had started to hurt again as well. Thankfully Tom got the message so she turned her full attention back to the screen. "Good afternoon."

"Captain Janeway I am delighted to see that you are up and about again. I hope you are feeling better after that cowardly attack from Mr Chakotay." Nechayev didn't beat round the bush that much was certain.

"I am not cleared for duty yet and am in fact supposed to be in my quarters resting Admiral so I am a bit surprised you called me here." Two can play this game Janeway thought and gave Admirals Paris and Patterson her old hand signals to make sure they knew she was okay. "A good old tug on the ear and hopefully they will let my mother know that I am okay." She could see in their expressions that they understood and were relieved by that knowledge. Owen Paris gave her a slight nod and she knew her message would be conveyed. Behind her she could hear the rest of her senior staff stepping into the room and she breathed a sigh of relief. Hidden behind her back she used her hands to signal her staff to step in and help her.

"That is correct Captain. Admirals, I would appreciate it if you would not disturb my patient for much longer." The Doctor had stepped up to her and now deliberately scanned her to make his point clear for everyone. He watched her worriedly though, while he was scanning her mostly for show he could see that she was very pale. At least they all knew this could not go on for longer then 11 minutes due to the limitations of their Delta quadrant transmission. He gave Ensign Kim a hand signal of his own to make sure the Captain would not be detained who nodded at him.

It was obvious that Admiral Nechayev was not happy but they all knew she could not actually do much. And for the crew of Voyager there was just no comparison if they had to decide between the "Battleaxe" Admiral and their Captain, Janeway won every time - hands down. They would follow her through hell and back just as they had done on quite a few occasions before.

Nechayevs smile was thin. "Don't worry Doctor I won't. In fact why don't Captain Janeway and your crew answer some question from the press, considering that our time is limited this should be best. Fed news can start."

"Captain Janeway can you tell us in your own words what has happened?" One of the reporters now spoke up.

"I apologise but our investigation into what has happened is still ongoing and as my entire crew is also watching this I can not give that information out at this time." This was a calculated lie on Janeways part, she knew better then to confirm anything before she could find a way to minimise the damage done to the Maquis and Equinox members of her crew. While it was certainly possible for the entire crew to watch it was rarely done and especially not for a press conference she had no warning about. "In fact Commander Tuvok here is my Chief of Security any and all questions about this topic should go to him for now."

It seemed to Janeway that there was a tactic behind the order of reporters who asked questions as the next reporter picked up seamlessly from where they stopped. "Commander Tuvok, what can you tell us?"

From behind now came Naomi Wildmann, the only child who had been born on Voyager. "Captain may I speak with you?"

"Of course Naomi, ladies and gentleman please excuse me." After a nod from the reporters Janeway quickly left. As soon as the door to Astrometrix closed behind her she sagged a bit against the bulkheads and closed her eyes. "Thank you Naomi."

"You are welcome Captain. Are you okay? And don't give me the old 'I'm fine' please, the entire crew knows better then to believe you when you use those words." Naomi looked at her suspiciously.

Normally Kathryn would have glared at any offending crew member who had used that tone with her but Naomi was indeed Voyagers only child at this time which gave her some privileges even with the Captain. So she only huffed before answering. "I am very tired and need some rest. Will you escort me to my quarters please?"

"Of course." The small smile on Naomis face was worth it even Janeway had to admit.


Several hours later Janeway was getting ready for the party in the mess hall when her door chimed. "Come."

Tuvok stepped in. "Captain, I have concluded my investigation into what has happened." He looked at her searchingly and had to admit she now looked much better.

A sigh was his answer. "This had better be good, Tuvok."

"You of course remember what happened with Friendship One." A slight nod was the answer to that. "As you know during that mission Commander Chakotay was held prisoner on the planet. Due to the behaviour of the Commander not only since but also before that mission no one questioned what had happened too much. We should have."

Janeways eyebrows rose into her hairline and she sat down. "Explain."

"Part of the yearly booster for Starfleet personal is a Vulcan drug which protects against Alcoholism. Which can be caused by the overconsumption of Alcohol, synthetic or otherwise."

An incredulous look was thrown at him. "I know that Chakotay has been drinking a lot over the last couple months but this illness hasn't been a problem since the time of Sefram Cochram."

"And it still would not be one if it hadn't been for the water the Commander has consumed while planet bound. It negated his boosters and he was once again vulnerable. I have compiled a list of symptoms on this PADD." Tuvok answered and handed her the PADD.

Janeway scrolled through the PADD shocked and dismayed.

PADD contents

Signs of physical dependence include:

- Alcohol-related illnesses

- A need for increasing amounts of alcohol to get drunk or achieve the desired effect (tolerance)

- Memory lapses (blackouts) after heavy drinking

- Withdrawal symptoms when alcohol use is stopped

Some of the symptoms and behaviors of alcoholism include:

- Continuing to drink, even when health, work, or family are being harmed

- Drinking alone

- Episodes of violence when drinking

- Hostility when confronted about drinking

- Lack of control over drinking - being unable to stop or reduce alcohol intake

- Making excuses to drink

- Missing work or school, or a decrease in performance

- No longer taking part in activities because of alcohol

- Need for daily or regular alcohol use to function

- Neglecting to eat

- Not caring for physical appearance

- Secretive behaviour to hide alcohol use

- Shaking in the morning

A heavy sigh as she stopped reading. "So this is an illness. Why didn't we pick this up before now? And how come he got dependant so quickly? I always thought this was caused by long term use. The boosters should have protected him before the Friendship One mission and it has only been a couple weeks."

"Unfortunately it seems that humans have a rather reverse effect when the drug is negated. The alcohol is actually needed in the bloodstream to survive. It will be another month of constant treatment from the Doctor to wean him off it. In the meantime he will have to drink though less every day. I would advise to keep him in isolation till the Doctor clears him. He believes it will be 2-3 weeks before the Commander will stop being so intoxicated that he becomes violent." Tuvok was now watching the Captain carefully, he knew this must be hurting her.

Yet another sigh was his answer and Janeway gave him a long searching look. "Very well. Is there anything else we have to discuss tonight?"

"No Captain."

"Then let us go to the party in the mess hall. The crew is probably wondering where we are."


Thats it for now! *grins*

As said before I am new at writing so I would appreciate more feedback. You all know that button down there!